Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Potholes in Tokyo ❯ My Poor Cardboard Box Mansion! ( Chapter 1 )

Potholes in Tokyo

by Cassandra Rettop-AKA Aki-san

Disclaimer: I won't even claim to own YGO, because they'll take me back to that place with the padded walls…

Summary: Yami Mutoh is a successful young businessman. Yuugi Mutoh is a little homeless boy. What happens when these two meet? Only time can tell…

Warnings: Future shounen-ai. Also includes mineral water, potholes, and cardboard mansions.

Chapter One: My Poor Cardboard Box Mansion!

The sleek black limo bumped across the busy streets of Tokyo as the occupant, a multi-billionaire businessman, selected a bottle of mineral water from the fridge. Yami Mutoh growled as the vehicle hit a pothole. The disturbance had caused the mineral water to drip all over his shirt.

Anzu, his rather ditzy butler, slammed on the breaks (which made more water spill onto Yami) before offering him a napkin. (Where it came from is anyone's guess.) While waiting on the stoplight, she reapplied her lipstick, causing her lips to shine with the light of a million fish scales! She gave herself a self-satisfied smirk as she straightened her bow tie and adjusted her bra strap, making sure to be in full view of the mirror.

Yami rolled his eyes, turning his gaze to the wonderful scenery outside the window! His eyes were presented with about five McDonald's on the same street corner, a Jamaican man in pink bell bottoms, and some strange bell-carrying people standing outside the local Wal-mart

With all this random idiocy, he was hardly able to make out a large collection of cardboard boxes, arranged in such a way that they resembled a miniature mansion. There even seemed to be a garage made from a microwave box. He peered, interested, for there was something golden glinting in the sun, barely seen because it was halfway under the `door' of the garage.

"Stop the car!"

Anzu slammed the brakes indignantly, the precious mineral water spilling on his pants this time. He decided to ignore the cold shock on his legs as he stepped outside, blinking in the sunlight before he placed his sunglasses on his nose.

He knelt beside the copious cardboard boxes and yanked on the golden stuff, which he found to be hair.

"Owwwwwwwww…"

Without warning, the boxes shifted violently. Yami jumped back, before he realized that the cause of the movement was because the box was ALIIIIIVE! No…I'm lying. A little boy (whose name is Yuugi, but we won't tell Yami that, now will we?) had been inside the box, and was now clutching his hair and yawning.

"Eh?"

Yami was surprised, because this boy looked like a younger, more innocent version of himself. He stood, crimson eyes locked with violet. Until…

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Umm…are you homeless?"

"Well, uh…NO! BECAUSE I HAVE A CARDBOARD BOX MANSIOOOOON!"

"Would you like to come home with me?"

"No, because my mansion is better than any old house!"

"I live in a real mansion."

"O.o. Oh…then would you tell me, is my garden in the right place?" The boy gestured to a pizza box with lots of little broccolis taped to it.

Yami sweat-dropped. "Actually, most gardens are around /there/." He pointed to an empty space next to the cardboard patio, standing up. "So, what's your name?"

The boy with tri-colored hair looked up at him. "Yuugi."

*~*

Anzu seemed angrier than usual, if the near-collision with the little old lady and her grandson on the crosswalk was any sign. Yuugi didn't notice this, seeming happy as ever as he sat beside Yami in the back, clutching a golden puzzle to his chest. Yami stared at the pyramid-looking thing with its strange markings and the eye in the middle, a bit curious as to what it was. Oh well, all in good time…

Yami didn't notice they were in front of his mansion until Anzu slammed on the brakes for the umpteenth time that day. Yami was surprised he didn't have whiplash yet. He was waiting for Anzu to open the door for him, when he realized that she'd already tromped into the house (he saw the door slamming behind her). "Jeez, she must be PMSing or something; she doesn't usually act this crabby," Yami remarked as he pulled open his door.

Yuugi hopped out after him, stumbling a little (Yami caught him and helped him regain his equilibrium), before turning and asking, "What's PMS?"

"Ehhh…nothing, nothing at all."

"Oh, O.K." Yuugi now looked utterly confused, which was rather cute, not that Yami would think that. Oh no… *snicker*…

"Are you hungry?"

Yuugi's stomach growled rather loudly. "A…little."

Yami snorted. "Well, why don't I show you to the kitchen, eh? I'm sure the cook has something you can eat." Yuugi timidly followed Yami through the long halls, wondering how he would remember where everything was. After what seemed like half a mile of hallway, Yami stopped in front of a set of highly polished double doors. He cast a backward glance at the smaller boy before opening the doors for him.

"Hello, Tomb Robber," Yami called merrily to the white-haired cook, whose back was turned at the moment. Yuugi noticed that `Tomb Robber' was wearing a frilly pink apron, and he had to fight himself so he wouldn't giggle. However, a little of the sound escaped, and the cook whirled around.

"BY RA, PARAOH, I'LL KILL YOU ONE DAY!" Upon seeing that the front of the apron read `Kiss the Cook', Yuugi burst into hysterics, clutching the sides of his stomach as he gasped for air.

"Who…who have you brought with you today, Pharaoh? Have you found yourself another catamite?"

"You shut up, Bakura!" Yami said, clamping a hand over the cook's mouth. Some muffled speech was heard. Yami finally got tired of Bakura talking into his hand and relinquished the hold, going to the sink to wash his hands. Meanwhile, Bakura continued his speech.

"AND WITH ALL THE COCONUTS ON THE COUNTERTOP AS MY WITNESS, I WILL STAB YOU TO DEATH WITH A RUSTY WOODEN SPOON WHILE YOU ARE ASLEEP!"

"Really?" Yami asked as he applied antibacterial hand soap to his palms and rubbed them together. "Well, if you make a mess, you'll clean it up, won't you? Anzu might get mad if she has to clean up all that blood."

"WHY YOU-YOU DESPICABLE PHARAOH!"

"Yeah, yeah. So, Bakura, could you please cook something for Yuugi here?"

Bakura muttered under his breath for a while, although he had apparently acknowledged the request, since he began to chop various ingredients with a rather large knife.

"Have a seat," Yami said, gesturing to the small kitchen table. Yuugi did so, Yami plopping into the seat beside him.

"A-are you sure he should have a knife that big?" Yuugi asked, put rather ill at ease by the Gigantic Butcher Knife of Doom.

"Oh, he's fine. He's a little cuckoo and everything-he thinks that I'm an ancient Egyptian Pharaoh and he's a famous tomb robber-but he's a good cook when he doesn't get mad at the oven and try to put curses on it. So around here, we just condone his eccentric ways and enjoy the food." Yuugi, however, was not totally convinced, seeing as how Bakura was trying to light the stove with a blow torch, even though it was electric. ("LIGHT, YOU RA-FORSAKEN MACHINE!")

Halfway through Bakura's cooking, the phone rang. Yami waited until about the fifth ring to pick it up, seeing as it was usually Anzu who answered the phone, and said the traditional greeting (Moshi moshi) into the mouthpiece.

"Oh, hello, Yami," came the warm voice on the other end.

"Ah, hello, Ryou. How're you?"

"I'm good, thanks. Is Bakura-ah, I hear him now. What is he saying about the fresh California avocados?"

Yami cast a glance at Bakura (whose hair was on fire). "Trust me, you don't want to know."

"So I take it he's busy?"

Yami thought otherwise, seeing as how whatever he had been cooking was caked along the inside of the oven and little pieces of the pan were flying through the room. "Nah, I think he's free to talk to you now…" He passed the phone to Bakura, who was trying to get the self-cleaning function to work while the door of the oven was still open.

"For you. It's Ryou."

"Ryou? Yay! Oh, hello, Ryou! Guess what? My cooking just blew up in the oven!" Bakura was silent, apparently listening to whatever Ryou was saying. "Oh, of course you can come over for dinner later. Pharaoh won't MIND," he cast a dark glance at Yami before continuing, "And I'm sure I'll have the oven fixed by then." More silence. "Oh, I'm sure. Right, five o'clock. I'll see you then, aibou!" He hung up the phone, little hearts dancing in his eyes.

Yami, meanwhile, stared around the disaster that had once been a kitchen. "Oh well," he said, sighing. "I'll make sandwiches."