Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Pushing Me Away ❯ Why? ( Chapter 1 )

Dark: ya I never usually write like this but I got depressed and I decided to write a songfic from linkin parks pushing me away its about ryou thinking about his life, friends and Bakura ya its yoai but nothing has happened its during the beatings and painful threats and junk and ya on with the fic

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I've lied to you
The same way that I always do
This is the last smile
That I'll fake for the sake of being with you

I stood here thinking in my ripped and torn room I had snuck down into my yami's bedroom and `borrowed' a knife from him

Sure I have friends but true friends? No not really they care but they arn't friends yugi has his loving yami and his loyal friends ever since battle city they are closer than ever and I have suspicions that yami and yugi are `busy' together too….

Everything falls apart
Even the people who never frown
Eventually break down
The sacrifice of hiding in a lie
Everything has to end
You'll soon find we're out of time left
To watch it all unwind
The sacrifice is never knowing

I leave no note as if anyone is there to give it too my father is always out, I don't have any real friends, and yami would absolutely love me dieing and having my blood on yet another knife, and even though I'm dead he wont let me rest he will just comment on how weak I was to kill myself but I don't care for some reason I find this knife comforting I'm tired of wearing my same old Ryou smile. . . if Bakura was here now he would be proud of my sinister creepy grin spread across my face but I just cant help but smile, my first true smile.

Why I never walked away
Why I played myself this way
Now I see your testing me pushes me away
Why I never walked away
Why I played myself this way
Now I see your testing me pushes me away

Ever since I was young god took everything away and I never questioned him and then one day I got the ring. . . I thought it was god's way of saying "even though I have taken from you I give to you also a friend and someone to love, to cherish, to care for. . . " I was right alright someone to love to cherish to care for the only problem is he doesn't love or care for me back I'm alone here I don't blame him for hating me after all I'm a sad puny little pathetique child I don't even deserve his attention yet I have it so much it delights him to hurt and yell at me yet I feel as If I love him more. . . and that hurts more than a knife ever could. . .

I've tried like you
To do everything you wanted too
This is the last time
I'll take the blame for the sake of being with you

My heart has already broken and is already bleeding I always stand up for him and save him but then again I would be lost without him he is my life but he's not my light. . . Nothing left but me and this knife drifting in a sea of melancholy. Its funny though this knife is my escape it represents all the betrayal I have felt through my life, dong worry mother, sister, I will be with you soon. . . I cried and cried my eyes seem to pour crimson tears of pain, regret, and betrayal yet this pain is comforting in a way, in some strange way. . . .

(Everything falls apart
Even the people who never frown
Eventually break down)
The sacrifice of hiding in a lie
(Everything has to end
You'll soon find we're out of time left
To watch it all unwind)
The sacrifice is never knowing

I don't even know why it turned out this way we were a happy little family playing on a beach spending all our time together one minuet and the next dad was never home because of the pain he felt from my mothers death, yet here I am always here always hurting. . . I plunged the knife deep into my chest feeling that same cold metal feel as my blood flowed freely onto the ground, my last thoughts yami, were about you and what could never be, even though you will never look at me the same way I look at you I will always love you. . .

Why I never walked away
Why I played myself this way
Now I see your testing me pushes me away
Why I never walked away
Why I played myself this way
Now I see your testing me pushes me away
(We're all out of time
This is how we find how it all unwinds)
The sacrifice of hiding in a lie
(We're all out of time
This is how we find how it all unwinds)

Bakuras POV

I went up to my pitiful hikaria's room to give him his daily `lessons' when I opened his door I found blood his blood!?!?!?! My eyes widened and fear grew in my stomach my mind screamed ` no you idiot how could you do this you cant hate me this much can you?' I do love him but I do hate him and I hate the emotion that makes me love him and the emotion that makes me hurt him. . . no its not gonna end like this!! I called 911 and screamed for an ambulance god he was loosing blood fast no!. . . this cant happen.

When the ambulance came the drove him off but I wasn't a relative so the basterds wouldn't let me come!?!?!?!?!?! At that moment yami came up to mt

" you drove him to this you know?" he asked me

" I know. . ." I answered

"what are you gonna do?" he asked

" im not gonna let him die he's to stubborn" I muttered darkly

"just because he defied you? You drove him to this and now he's gonna die you say you love him you say you hate him which is it?!?!?!?!?!" yami screamed at me

A single tear fell across my face as I ran to the hospital ". . .love. . . "

~at the hospital~

I ran into the room he was staying in and walked over to him the doctor said he had woken up

He looked at me and smiled that same smile he always wore

"hello yami sorry for being so weak. . ." he managed to say

"don't worry rest your not weak" I answered back

"sorry. . . ." ryou said again

"what for" I asked gently when all of a sudden his heart stopped and the heart monitor was screeching its annoying beeping sound "NO RYOU OPEN YOUR EYES DON'T DIE!!!!!!!!!!" I screamed shaking him the doctors were dragging me away while I was thrashing

" im sorry. . . I love you . . ."

"RYOU NO I LOVE YOU TOO. . . "I screamed but it fell on deaf ears he was gone, gone forever. . . .

The sacrifice is never knowing
Why I never walked away
Why I played myself this way
Now I see your testing me pushes me away
Why I never walked away
Why I played myself this way
Now I see your testing me pushes me away
Pushes me away. . .

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~. . The End. . .~