Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Randomness by Iatay-chan and Fruitcake ❯ Chapter 1

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Basicaly this will be what I think would happen if me and my good friend Tia(not Tea) were in Domino city! WARNING: IT INVOLVES, SLIGHT OOC, VIOLENCE, SWEARING, MAJOR SQUIREL BURNING, GNOME SMASHING, AND EXTREME GLOMPING!
Otay. Right now me and Tia are looking for the yugioh gang.
Tia: Were the HELL are they!
Me(my name's Jessica): I don't know. But there's a candy store!
Tia: Yay!
Tia and I skipped off to the candy store singing "we're off to see the wizard". People stared and I didn't know why.
Tia: WHAT THE HELL'S YOUR PROBLEM?! HAVEN'T YOU EVER SEEN TWO CRAZY PEOPLE BEFORE?!
Everyone went back to what they were doing. Then I noticed that Seto was there.
Me: Hey Seto! Duel me!
Seto: Dueling an amature like you would be a waste of my time.
Me: So?
Tia: MAKE HER HAPPY YOU JACKASS!
Seto just got up and walked away. So we spent a while stalking him and yelling for him to duel me till...
Me: WAAAAAAA! You*sniff* MEANIE! WAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Tia: You asshole! You made her cry and she just wanted to duel you!
Random person#1: Jerk...
RP#2: How could you?
Seto: Fine! Just shut-up!
Me:*stops crying* OK!
Seto and I duel. It dosen't last long. I won on my third turn^_^ Seto was not too happy.
Seto: How could I lose to an imature brat?!
Me: I dunno, but you shouldn't go to pieces over it. It's just a game.
Seto:.........
Voices of Random People: Hahahaha! She beat you! You suck! Loser! Three turns is all it took!
So Tia and I went about looking for the yugioh gang.

Meanwhile, said group is going about the city doing stuff.
Yugi: Wow! I've been having a winning streak for a while now!(AN:won't last long!)
Ryou: I don't know why but I feel like there's something evil in the city.
Then Seto showes up looking thoroughly pissed. Tristan get's ready to hold back Joey for the inevitable insult, but it dosen't come. Seto just walks away, not even glancing at them.
Ryou: *blink*That was new.
Tea: I think he needs a hug.
Yugi: Ummmmm...no. Hey! Who's that?
At that moment, Tia and I came along! Guess what happened when we saw them.
Tia: We've been looking all over town to find you guys!
Me: Yay! Hey, Ryou, come here.
Without waiting for a response, we both rushed over to glomp him. But scince I run faster, I got there first, and glomped him ^_______^
Ryou: Ummm... please let go.
Me: But your so cuuute!
Ryou: *blush*
Tia: Jessica! Ryou is mine!
Joey: Hahaha! You got some girlfriends!
Me: At lest he can GET a girlfriend.
Tristan: Harsh, but true.
Tia: I think that would apply to you too.
Ryou: Could you let go and please don't be mean to my friends?
Me: But you're too cute and loveable to let go of! But I will be nice...*cough* try *cough*
Tia: Jess, you can have Marik! Not Ryou! He's MINE!
Me: No, MINE!
Tia:MINE!
We start to pull on his arms (but are carefull not to hurt him) shouting MINE at each other.
Ryou: HELP!!!
Yugi:*laughing*ok
Yugi trys to save his friend but Tia hissed at him and gave him a death glare. Yugi then whimpered and hid behind Tea.
Tia: Like she could help you....Hey! You NEED to duel me! NOW!
Yugi: o-ok.
Tia and Yugi (actually more like Yami) dueled. In the middle of the duel, Yami killed a monster of Tia's and she said
Tia: Damn you pharoh...
Yugi/Yami: How did you know about that?!
Tia: Cuz I'm smart. Now keep playing.
Ryou: How does she know that?
Me: Cuz I told her.
Ryou:O_OHow did you know that?
Me: ( I decided to sound smart by lying) I could tell when I saw him that another spirit was inside him.
Ryou bought the lie.
Ryou: Wow.
Joey: Sweeet.
Tea: Were is Tristan?
Me: Dunno. Don't care.
Ryou: That's not nice.
Me: *eyes are all big and watery* I sorry...
Joey: Why are you nice to him and not us?
Me: Cuz you're not nearly as cute and... well, perfect, as Ryou!
Tia: Don't forget about Bakura!
Tea/Ryou/Joey:O_O
Tea: But he's evil!
Tia: I AM TOO! IS THERE A PROBLEM WITH EVIL PEOPLE? *mutters* fucking bitch...
Ryou: A-are you evil too? *He asked timidly.*
Me: If pissed or jelous, hell ya. If not, no.
Tea: How can you be friends with an evil person?
Me: Cuz she's funny, nice to me, beats up anyone who's hurting me, and other stuff....
Joey: So how is she evil?
Me: Cuz she would not hesitate to kill Yugi.
Yugi/Yami: WHAT?!
Tia: *evil smirk* Of course!
Ryou: I think I should go...
Me: NOOOOOOO! Besides, Tia would never hurt you.(Thinks for a momment) Or Bakura.
Tea/Ryou/Joey: O_O
Joey: HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?!
Me: You don't pay atention do you?
Joey: *blank stare* Oh yea....
Tia: Dipshit...
After a while, Tia eventually beat Yugi/Yami and did the happy dance! Then I decided that we had to do something about the whole who-gets-Ryou thing.
Me: How about we duel to see who gets Ryou.
Tia: No! You're only suggesting that because you kick my ass!
Me: Ummm...uuu...no.
Tia: How about you get Ryou, buuut, I get Bakura!
Me: Nooooo.
Tia: I'll let you have Marik.
Me: * imediately* OK!^_______________________________________________^
Tia and I forced ourselves on the yugioh gang. We did some fun stuff and later on Tia and I were walking outside late cuz we were bored. Then we saw Bakura! Not Ryou, but Bakura. This made Tia happy. VERY happy.
Tia: Yay! It's Bakura!
Tia then glomped him.
Bakura: Get the hell off me!
Bakura tried in vain to shake off the obsessed, crazed fangirl.
Tia: You are so cool! You are like, the most kick-ass person I know!
This made Bakura a little more relaxed.
Bakura: Well...mabe you're not that bad to have around...
Tia: ^_______________________^
Me: Ooooh, you think you're sooo special...
Tia: Yes, yes I do.
So Tia and Bakura went off to burn squirels and smash lawn gnomes. I think they'll have fun with that. Lawn gnomes scare Tia. They just creep me out! Well at first I was sad that she left me all alone! But then I decided that I could look for Malik without Tia scaring him away(Tia Note: HEY!!!) ^_^! So I went looking....and looking...and LOOKING! Till I found his 'secret base' thingy.
Me: Yay! I found it!
I just walked right up to it and decided to be sneaky about it cuz it made me feel cool. In reality, I am not cool XP I'm anoying! Oh well. That dosen't matter now! Unfortunatly, I was caught *sob* .
Gard#1: What the hell are you doing here? This isn't a place for for little kids!
Gard#2: Ya, go home or you'll be in trouble.
Me: *sigh* I'm always in trouble! So it don't matter! Hahaha!
Gard#1: Ok kid. You had you'r chance but now you're gonna get it!
Me: Ooooh. Scary! That was sarcasm. How about we duel! If I win I can go on. If you win I leave! Ok?
G#1: Ha! Fine then. Get ready to lose.
We dueled and guess who won? MEEEEEE!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Ah well, anyway.
Me: HAHAHAHAHA! I kicked your ass! LOSER! L-O-S-E-R! Well, now I get to go. See ya!
G#2: No way! How did you win with those cards? They suck!
Me: Cuz me smart and you stupid *phtttttttttt*.
I skipped over to the boat. Walked to the door (AN: Yes, I do have to tell you EVERYTHING THAT I DO!!! MWAHAHAHA!) and knocked on the door. A very shocked Malik answered the door, thingy... whateva!
Malik: How in Ra's name did you get here?!
Me: I walked on the wood over to the door! Duh!
Malik: Stop being a wise-ass! I ment how did you beat my gaurds!
I gave him a full explanation of how I KICKED THIER ASSES! HAHAHAHA! Ok, sorry about that.
Malik: What kind of cards do you have? *thinks* they must be danm good to beat them...
Me: They're all hand-me-down cards that my little brother didn't want. A.K.A. THEY SUCK!
Malik:O_O What the hell! Why does this happen? WHY?! First that stupid Pharoh, now this! WHAT THE HELL?!
Me: Well, actually, I want to help you kick his ass 'cuz he's a very... ummm... NOT SMART PERSON!
Malik: What makes you think you can beat him?
Me: 'Cuz my friend Tia beat him and I always beat Tia! That's why. I only act stupid so people underestamate me. It works!
Malik: Why don't we have a little talk?
So Malik and I talked about how to kill Yami. It was very 'interesting'. Hahahaha. I do that a lot. LOL. Well you might be wondering 'WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO TIA AND BAKURA?!?!' Well......................................(heeheehee)...................... .......(here's the squirel burning part and gnome smashing, enjoy)
Tia: DIE EEEEEEVIL RA DAMNED LAWN GNOME!!! DIEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
Bakura: Why do you hate them so much?
Tia: Can't you tell how evil they are? They stare at you untill you get close enough for them to pounce on you and tear your heart out! *smashes another gnome*
Bakura: Now I'm not to sure if I want to know why you hate squirels too...
Tia: Damn right. * burns a squirel and tosses it in a house that then explodes* MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Bakura:HAHAHAHA!
At that momment Malik and I show up (Tia keeps making me use proper grammer).
Me: TIA! STOP LIGHTING THE FUCKING SQUIRELS ON FIRE!!! ARRRRRRG!
Tia: Woooo... ummmm, Jess, you ok?
Me: Hu?
Tia: I thought so. Well I see you found Malik.
Me: Yuppers!
Tia: You can't use 'yuppers'! That's my word!
Me: Well to bad. Anyways, Malik and I are going to send Yami to the shadow realm and kill Tea! Wanna come?
Tia: What do you think?!
Me: Absolutely nothing!
Tia: *sigh* Yes, I want to go Jess....
Malik: Let's just go already!
Welp! We went off to find Yugi's house and we kidnap; his grandpa, Tea, Joey, and Tristan! Thay were all tied up and put in diffrent corners of a very large room. Tia, Bakura, Malik, and I made sure that they could not be rescued. Tea had a very large cement block over her head. Tia had a flamethrower pointed at Joey. Malik had a gun ready to kill Yugi's grandpa. And Bakura was also ready to torch someone...Tristan! When Yugi showed up, I explained the situation.
Me: Hi Yugi! Guess what? You have to duel me! If I win, I get the puzzle and you die. If you win your grandpa dies, if you refuse Tea dies, and If anyone trys to interfere, heads will rolle. Got it? (all of this was said in a very cheery voice)
Yami: How could you do this?!
Me: 'Cuz it's not to hard to kidnap them. That's why. Now let's duel!
Yami: Ryou would hate you for doing this!
Me: So? I got Malik don't I?
Tia: This is getting to tempting. Just start the duel already!
Yami: You fien-
Me: Yada yada yada, ya I'm a 'fiend' bla bla bla... WHATEVER!
Me and Yami dueled. It was a pain but I did win! We killed Yugi, got the puzzle, killed Tea and Tristan 'cuz he's a loser. And about a week later, Malik ruled the world (well, actually, I did but he likes to think he does) and Bakura and Tia were VERY happy. I think they would count as being married. Oh well.

*snif* I love an evil ending. Well that ended at a stupid spot but I don't care! I was getting sick of thinking! HAHAHAHAHAHA! Well as porky pig would say...'A ble a ble a ble that's all folks!'