Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Reason to Live ❯ The Beating ( Chapter 1 )

A Reason to Live by: Angela (orangeaura868)

Chapter One: The Beating

Hisies! I own that word. But I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh and please remember to review. This is my first fanfiction. Be nice though.

~Ryou~

Sometimes I feel as if I stand out so much no matter how much I'm ignored. I drifted in with the crowd but felt so out of place. People guess I feel this way, because of my snow white hair, in truth it goes deeper than looks. I didn't belong, especially since I didn't have any friends. I felt so separate, so alone in my life. I didn't have a single friend in the whole world. Never have I ever felt so cold.

I couldn't possibly burden Yugi with my troubles, besides, he'd only pity me, and that would be all. His friends did just the same. They each had their happy lives, I shouldn't bother them, and I would just be another person to worry over. Yugi was such an angel, such a tenshi, a tenshi no hikari! I wouldn't want to dirty him with my troubles. I didn't want to bring him down with me. A fallen angel is an angel no more.

I didn't want that, I wanted to have someone by my side, but I was never able to make friends. I felt so alone. I felt underestimated. No one ever thought much of me. I wasn't given a fair hand in the game of Life. I knew this was self-loathing, but I felt it was justified. Who wouldn't look at me, more importantly my life with scorn or distaste? I don't belong, I hated myself, how could I not? I hated my weakness, my scars my bruises, and my cowardliness. I hated that I couldn't stand up against him. I was so weak, why couldn't I have been stronger? I was tainted, why can't I be pure again? I'm living, why can't I die?

It wouldn't take a fool to see that I'm miserable, my entire existence was ment to be miserable. How could I possibly live, knowing that all I've ever caused is pain, and I was the only one who deserved it? It was ment to be mine. Sharing it would only bring others pain, and that wouldn't be right. I wanted to be trusting and innocent, but I could never be trusting of everything when a certain Yami has stripped me of all I had loved, all I had, all that I wanted to live for. I was fading…and I felt so dead. I wanted to stand up to him; I wanted my last stand before I beat him. For once I would be the winner of all those horrible times. I would look back on it as a game and then I would be free. I was scared half to death by what I was going to do, but it would make it easier. It would only leave me another half to take away. I didn't expect to be in heaven, I expected to be put out of my pain.

I kept my head low, eyes strained on the ground. I was still a while from home when it started raining. I looked up at the suddenly darkened sky as it released a steady fall of little raindrops. The tears of the angels were falling on me. I wanted to tell them, don't cry for me! I was going to be so happy after this, if there was an after…don't feel bad for me! I was saving all the victims that may have fallen to Bakura and I was avenging all the ones who had fallen. I mused over the raindrops falling on my face as I squinted my eyes to look at the sky. I breathed deeply, every breath counted. I ran home to carry out my plan all the while praying, please dear angels…let my yami still be asleep! I slowed down as I saw the familiar houses of my few neighbors and the green canopy of trees. I recognized my own house and I suddenly tensed.

My yami was not resting; I was to expect a beating. Father had been gone on another trip and my yami would not hesitate to beat me. I trembled a bit, I was so scared! I looked up at the angels wanting to tell them that no yami would stir me from my path, and the rain slowed. It was depressing, the rain I mean, so sad. Soon I again felt miserable. My ray of hope almost completely gone, but I still had my spirit, I was not going to be that submissive. I was at the door now, I was home.

~Bakura~

My hikari was actually early. He must be afraid of getting a little wet. He was so pathetic, so easy to make fearful. He was so easy to break apart. That's what intended on doing. I wanted to make him break and crumble. I wanted him to lose all hope, to realize how worthless he really was. This was going to be fun. I stood up in the middle of the living room in plain view had it not been for the shadows. Of all the damn people out there I had to be stuck with such a weakling for my hikari. If he was that weak then he should at least be obedient. Watching him suffer would be the highlight of my day…he opened the door now.

His every motion flowed together, opening the door, stepping in and lightly dropping his bag to the floor and stepping out of his shoes. He was so graceful. He was obviously ment to be a hikari…a tenshi even. I loved messing with angels…they were the look of complete innocence. I was beginning to get impatient. I had waited so long to beat on him ,to make him cry and beg for mercy. Only to look up and understand that I was not merciful. His father had just left this morning, and he had all day to get worked up over what might happen…he must have been shaken up by the other beatings…this one would be much worse, I'd make him pay for his father's long stay.

I was going to have one hell of a good time.

~Normal~

Ryou walked into the dark house and carefully set his back pack down. He slipped off his shoes and glanced at the dark, silent halls. He wasn't as scared of the dark as he used to be, but he admitted to still have a weak spot when it came to darkness and shadows. His day had been a long one, one that he dreaded to return home from all the same. He avoided Yugi and Yami and kept to himself. He stood inside and the door was open, the light illuminated the room making a silhouette of him on the opposite wall. Bakura was hiding amongst the shadows gazing at his hikari and acknowledging just how much he fit the title. Th light coming from outside seemed to border his body, making it glow brightly as if Ryou really were a tenshi no hikari. Bakura hated the light. Ryou sighed and closed the door behind him, emitting a loud ominous creak. The light had gone, leaving Ryou in a dark miserable house and he became scared, his yami was not the merciful type.

His yami was pure evil, and he would always be that way. Ryou could feel his yami and he bent his head down and look intently at the cold marble ground wondering how much pain he would feel when he was thrown against them. He was pitiful it seemed, his white locks drenched in rainwater and his eyes dull. He looked pale with fright and his heartbeat quickened. His lips set in a small frown, his eyes still dull…but with a hint of fear…he was intent on seeming dead and crushed with no spirit left within him. He was doing a wonderful job…but he was still far from escaping physical caring…looking like he didn't care if a nuclear war started didn't mean he really didn't care. Bakura soon interrupted through the mindlink.

// Home so soon? // He asked slyly, his voice dripping, of false concern and care.

/ Yes, master/ Ryou answered, his voice soft and low, seeming so weak. Bakura chuckled, glad that he was being so submissive but still wanting to beat him.

// Good…you're finally beginning to understand. Resistance is futile…is it not? You've been a good little slave…I can't find a reason to hurt you.// Ryou breathed the slightest bit slower, glad…but still curious…his yami would never go easy on him. It was true though…he was being obedient…maybe he won't be beaten. His thought was interrupted as a blow was thrown at his face. Caught off guard Ryou was immediately on the floor…the cold marble floor slamming into his back causing the old unhealed bruises to bruise even more. The shock of the fall now slicing through his back, and the cold seeping into all the injuries. He grit his teeth and closed his eyes tightly.

// Of course…I don't need an excuse to beat you! You are my slave…and no one will ever save you. You are absolutely alone.// His yami's voice was cold and unwelcoming…dark and forbidding. The reality of what he had said made Ryou turn to his side and curl up into a ball. Ryou wanted to tell himself that it wasn't true, but he had been thinking about that all afternoon. It was true and that hurt all the more.

// What's this? // Bakura continued in a sinister and false innocent voice that seemed to mock Ryou. // You poor baby! Are you hurt by the truth? // Bakura laughed diabolically and grinned happily. He really did enjoy torturing people both mentally and physically. He dragged Ryou up by his hair and began to yell in his ears.

" YOU ARE ALL ALONE AND NO ONE WILL EVER HELP YOU!!!" He threw Ryou across the room, his head made contact with the corner of the window sill making his already hurting head hurt with more intensity. Hi head was throbbing from the shock and it hurt so badly. He clenched his fists tight in an attempt not to scream out. He let out a few gasps of shock and tears forced their way out of his closed eyes. He could only cower in fear as his yami stood above him. Bakura kicked Ryou furiously shouting insults through the mindlink.

//YOU PATHETIC WIMP!!! YOU ARE SUCH A LOSER! COMPLETELY WORTHLESS! YOU'RE A NO GOOD HIKARI, A USELESS PIECE OF SHIT!!! YOU ARE SO WEAK!// Bakura ranted and fumed, his anger mounting with each insult. He began to believe every cruel insult he spat out. He aimed kick after kick right at Ryou's stomach. Ryou tried to curl up into a ball for protection but another kick always spread him out flat. Ryou kept getting the air knocked out of him. He felt his ribs cracking and felt his whole chest seem to be on fire. It pained him so much.

Bakura finally stopped and Ryou breathed deeply only to find how much that hurt. He winced in pain and stayed down.

// Awwwwwwww… are you hurt? Does it hurt real bad? Or is it not that …does it hurt you to know that no one will save you, that no one cares? // Ryou choked back tears…it was all true. He could feel Bakura stop for a while, probably to admire his work, he thought. A sudden pain shot through him, he felt like he was doubled up in knots. He immediately started coughing uncontrollably. He coughed up what little air he had left and with it, blood. Bakura grinned in the background, watching his hikari retch out blood. With each cough, his lungs seemed to lack more and more oxygen. His chest seemed to go into convulsions because of his coughing. His cracked ribs cracked even more as the crimson blood poured out of his lips. He felt so sick…his chest was covered in dark bruises, his ribs were cracked, his head ached and throbbed, and he had just coughed up blood.

He collapsed down again, waiting for his yami to approach and continue the beating. Already it had been much worse than the other times and this wasn't over yet. He breathed in slowly and quietly to not disturb his broken ribs and assorted bruises. This was much worse than dying.

~Ryou~

Bakura's tauntings came almost as soon as I walked in. They mocked me, and degraded me. His fist came later. Soon I found myself against the cold floor just wishing for it to be over soon…if only I had known that what I asked for was impossible. He continued to throw me around, my head had hit something, it hurt with a throbbing pain. It felt like I could feel the pumping of blood coursing down my scalp. He kicked me everywhere, specifically my stomach. It hurt so much, there was so much pain…and there was that cruel taunting voice that echoed through my head. You're all alone! My breath got knocked out of me with every kick; I breathed in gasps of pain and anguish. I heard the ominous crack of my ribs breaking with his kicks. I tried to turn or curl up…but Bakura would only kick my spine, I wasn't a risk taker…I flipped back over immediately and met with a boot right on top of my body. He applied pressure and I felt an unbearable pain course through me. I screamed out loud hoping for it to just stop. I was hoping for mercy.

" Bakura!!! Onegai! Onegai yumete! Yumete onegai! Iie! Iie! Yumete! Bakura!" I screamed. He laughed at my weakness, and he stepped harder until it finally stopped. I coughed up blood with each violent shake of my body. I felt blood all over my head, my face…and it dripped down my neck to my chest. Great, of all the things that happened, now I have internal bleeding. Killing myself after this would be easy, I was half dead already I lay there, looking at all the blood on the floor…it was everywhere from me being thrown around. I began to feel distant, fading almost. I was brought back to reality when I felt my yami staring at me.

Look! I wanted to scream at him, look at what you've done to me. Have you no shame? Have you no pity?! His eyes just continued to bore into me. Savoring every bit of pain that I felt. It seemed like he was looking into my soul, it seemed like he was tainting it with every glance that he took. I was reduced to a slave! More importantly, I was a slave to him, he was completely dark…not an ounce of light. He was never going to be caring. I pushed all my old fantasies away. He was never going to look back at me and suddenly snap. He wasn't going to one day realize that he had gone too far. He was too evil for that. He had stopped staring. He walked back towards me and my body automatically cowered in fear. I closed my eyes…the room was starting to spin. I was losing a lot of blood fast…I felt so faint. He lifted me up by my neck and once again I felt like I couldn't breathe. I clawed at his hand and gripped at it, struggling fruitlessly to escape the grip. His hand only grew tighter. Oh God! I'm choking!

I looked at him through my foggy eyes. I wasn't gone far enough to not catch the evil glint in his eye and his devilish smirk. I looked at his other hand to see a knife, oh no! I can't take this pain! I can't last against him! He can win for all I care…evil was winning against good. Good was just a weakling. I just can't take the pain he loved to see me in…and it wounded me even more knowing that. I was never a match for him. There was no hope at all ever…it was all foolishness. There is no hope against him.

~Bakura~

I held him up by his neck and he struggled a bit. However, his eyes grew wide when he happened to see my dagger. I laughed inwardly. I haven't even started yet! He closed his eyes again, refusing to see anything. I didn't mind, I was relishing everything that I was planning to do. I threw my dagger up carefully and caught it…I was playing with it…absolutely addicted to the blood and the screams I've heard. I felt exhilarated. I tossed it one last time and made a slash in between the layers of the school uniform, slicing it open to reveal the ring…and the many bruises on my hikari's chest. I smiled knowing that I had caused them. He whimpered when he felt his shirt opened, if possible, I grinned even wider.

I had purposely sliced a bit of skin and I watched his pale skin redden with blood. I lapped up the rich substance, it tasted metallic and from one little lick…I already wanted more. I tossed up my knife again and caught it before making a quick slash from the base of his neck to the front of his chest. It was cut diagonally to create the most blood with minimal damage to each vein. I leaned my head in at the bottom of his neck and sucked the blood like a vampire would. His blood was intoxicating. I let a moan escape my lips, and I felt my hikari tremble, I loosened my grip to allow him to breath. I took my dagger out again and this time cut slowly down from his shoulder to lower arm. I watched in frenzied delight as I saw crimson leaking out, pooling together before finally dripping down his arm. I realized that I was getting carried away, I didn't cut him for that purpose.

Realizing that, I dragged his body to the kitchen, he was losing consciousness and I slapped him a few times. He groaned in protest and I sliced him again, he screamed loudly and seemed to be more awake. I wanted to be sure though…I pressed my finger against his cuts and pushed in deeply. He screamed some more as more blood spilled from him onto the floor. I would have quite a mess to clean up after this. I threw his body on the floor again and he gasped in shock and then screamed. I didn't bother to quiet his screams…I found them rather enjoyable. I looked through the cabinets…where was it? Ah! There! I grinned and laughed quietly. I had found the salt. A new plan began to form in my head…it would hurt him more…quickly I looked around in the bathroom for bandages, I found them easily also and next I found some healing gauze. I intended to get him to believe me, then be betrayed…it would hurt him so much more. I was in a very sadistic mood today.

// Ryou? // I called, trying to sound tired and weary. I heard a sound through the mind link.

/ Hmm? / He sounded weak and tired. I was really going to like this. I was going to make my hikari yell out. I put on my most sincere voice. I sighed convincingly.

//Ryou…I'm done now, I'll bandage you up…but you better realize that this is just because I don't want you to bleed to death…I wouldn't like it if you died. Only this time alright slave?// There was a pause from his side. He was obviously confused on what to do. I could feel him giving in though…he really was forgiving…not that he had a choice. Either way I would have my way.

/ uhhuh/ came the difficult reply. I laughed inwardly and walked towards him. I got out the gauze and applied it on his cuts and slashes. I was careful not to put a lot…I didn't want it to be a block. I stopped for a while and got out the salt…have a nice time my dear hikari! I dumped a large amount of salt in my hands and sprinkled in onto his wounds.

He screamed…he yelled…he cried. This was so humorous, how could someone ever be that unsuspecting? Ha! Shows him right, I slapped the leftover salt straight onto the cuts and roughly forced it in. He screamed louder and squirmed and struggled. I watched in amusement as he screamed even louder and rolled from side to side like a wild animal, he kicked and struggled. I stepped back a bit to watch him scream and struggle. It was funny really, I should of thought of doing that 5000 years ago! I really do love to see a hikari in pain. I loved to see them scream, yell, bleed, and most of all I liked to see them without spirit…with absolutely no hope left. I liked the pain. I recall cutting myself just like that for the pain…you could get lost in the feeling. You could get hooked to the feeling of being in control, of feeling physical pain, not mental. I was never good with emotional pain. That's why I have none.

~Ryou~

I wanted to break into sobs, and I was so close to doing so. There was absolutely nothing more to live for. My father could care less seeing what he left me to…no matter how much I had cajoled him, he still left. My friends simply pitied me…what person in their right mind could possibly like me? I abandoned all hope of living…but I still held dearly to the little spark that refused to be put out by Bakura. I refused to have him be my death as he threatened so many times before.

~~~* Flashback *~~

Bakura loomed over Ryou and Ryou was bruised in many places. Bakura takes Ryou and pulls him up by his collar and shakes him around.

" You are MY slave and you will serve me and listen to exactly what I say! I won't tolerate any failures! You will work for ME and only ME and you'll serve me till the day I decide your life is pointless. I will personally kill you if you disobey. Even after death, I will have your soul…don't think that death will save you!"

Ryou cowers in fear and nods slightly. Bakura laughs and throws him against the wall.

END FLASHBACK…

I knew better than that now. I learned from Yami that Bakura would be imprisoned inside the ring without me and that he was just scaring me. I remember how Yugi had found me crying and ran to comfort me. When I told him my dilemma he asked Yami to appear to help me. I wasn't afraid of him…I felt like the old me again. I felt like I would stand up to him no matter what. I opened my eyes and watched him twirl his knife expertly and throw it up in the air. I watched it spin a full 360 time and time again and fall back to his hand only to be thrown up once again.

I closed my eyes, keeping them open took a lot out of me. I felt relieved to have them closed but the relief was short-lived. I immediately became anxious to know when he was going to strike. To know when I was going to have to prepare myself for the most horrible injuries ever. I knew I had to tolerate it. I was going to be beaten and cut…I could live an extra hour with that. I still didn't have anything to live for…but the thought of Yugi and his Yami gives me the hope to continue on…to last. I will not die by his hand. I will die by my own. I felt so sure of myself. I felt the air in front of my face rush by. The cool breeze tickled my bruised cheek and calmed me. I tried to not show pain but it was still impossible. I could feel my ribs move with every breath and my head was still throbbing. But I relaxed a bit. However…this was short-lived also seeing that one little thought kept coming up.

The calm before the storm!

I heard the sound of the large knife cut its way through the air just inches from touching my face. The sound resembled gusts of wind blowing together except it was quieter, smaller, but all the more deadly. I whimpered a bit at that thought. I felt so sure I could make it…but I was so doubtful now. I'm not strong enough to handle this. I am much better off with emotional pain. Cutting and slashing scared me very much. I released my grip on his hand that held me by my neck hoping to slip away into unconsciousness, staying conscious now was not a good thing. The feeling of breathlessness did not come. He was using the Ring to keep me awake! How cruel…it was to be expected of course…he was such a sadistic jerk. I felt the air still suddenly. The realization that he had stopped petrified me. The calming breeze that blew through my air and cradled my cheek was gone. The feeling of anxiety came back once more and I felt the cold blade slide between my school uniform and slash downwards. He had left my chest bare and I turned so he could not see me blush the tiniest bit. I wanted to yell at him again.

You like what you see?! All those bruises were made by you…all you've ever caused is pain. Aren't you ever ashamed of yourself? Wasn't there ever a time that you were humane? Didn't you ever find the thought of hurting someone so much grotesque? I only whimpered in fear as I felt my chest tingle and the cool drops of blood he had purposely cut in when cutting away the buttons that held my shirt together. I could just imagine him looking at me and not feeling the slightest thing. I could think of him looking at my bruises in delight. I could just see the proud look on his face while regarding my bruises. Never have I felt so defenseless against him.

He had taken away my life. He had destroyed all that was worth living for and for the things that he could not destroy than he always kept me away from it. To this very day I still can't find my mother's favorite brooch…the last thing I had left to remind me of her. All the pictures had been torn out of the house and father didn't even question me. No one cared…it was so true. All the books were burned…each a holding a fond memory of when mother would tuck both Amane and me into bed and read each story to us. He had taken it all away…everything that I was the slightest bit attached to was destroyed. All that was left was the emotionless face that would stare back at me hauntingly whenever I looked into the mirror. It haunted me, reminding me how much I looked like mother and Amane…but the carefree happiness was gone. Bakura had ripped it out along with the rest of everything I had left to live for.

The rest was just a blur, cold steel digging into me slicing the slightest bit into my skin…taunting me with agonizing pain. I remember fighting back only to be beaten even more. The ice cold frosty dagger cutting into me…I screamed at that feel of sharp pain. It stung…the pain tearing into me every which way. I couldn't stand it. As soon as it began…it stopped. I slumped to the floor hoping that he was done…that he was content. No…fate was exceptionally cruel to me and I felt Bakura dragging me across the floor. I kicked a bit and he cut me again at my cheek. I stopped in a frozen fear. He was so dominant over me…it was a wonder I hadn't given in sooner. I could feel him leave me, and hear the sound of his footsteps walking away. Please don't come back. I didn't want him to. I knew it would never happen but I hoped against hope that maybe he would leave me. I hoped that better yet he would finally be compassionate towards me…then I heard his voice. He claimed it was all over…I didn't know what to do …he seemed so sincere. What if it was all just an act? It would hurt me all the more if I fell for it. He seemed tired though, not at all like the adrenaline thrilled, chaotic yami he was just what seemed like minutes before. I wanted to believe him. I wanted this to be true…and softly…I gave him consent to bandage me up. I could feel him clean my wounds, I leaned into the touch involuntarily and savored that warm feeling whenever he touched me. It felt so good to have a kind yami…oh how I envied Yugi. He rubbed a healing cream over my cuts and once more I found myself leaning into the touch, into each caress. I was so trusting…but I felt that this was right…this was the way things were supposed to be between Yami and Hikari. I could sense him draw away. He must be getting bandages...then it came to me… the burning feel manifesting itself deeper and deeper…he had poured salt on me! I screamed in agony…I could feel it sinking into the gauze and dissolving slowly. It ate away at my skin. I was burning! I could literally feel flames licking all over me…the sharp pain making me struggle and kick and squirm. I winced in pain and screamed out. Bakura! How could I trust you so easily?! You had betrayed me once more and I felt like such a baka. I screamed more and more as it ate at me…tearing, ripping, and burning into me. I wanted so much for this to be over…for it to be a dream. It was unbearable! I felt like everything from before coming back ten-fold. I could feel myself slipping away…I didn't want to just yet…I had sworn not to die by his hands. I had sworn it. With the last my strength I thought of all that I could possibly wish for…like this not happening.

/ I wish the ring never came to me…I wish my yami could be gone, I hate him…I wish that I was d…/ I never finished…the darkness had completely devoured me.

Little did he know that his words and slipped through the link…little did he know that his wish was heard.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()() ()()()()()()

Orange: Ya like? That was 9 pages dangit! I spent like forever on it! R&R

Ryou: I can't believe you put me through all that…I mean for goodness sakes…SALT??!!

Orange: Uh…sorry ^ ^;; but you are my favorite after all and don't worry…things will end fluffily ever after.

Bakura: I can't believe you made me that vicious! How could I possibly hurt my aibou like that?!

Orange: Bakura…don't be like that…Ryou isn't exactly going to be your aibou in this fanfiction. Don't worry…I'll write another. Oh yeah…Ryou commits suicide in the next one!

Ryou: WHAT!?? I thought you said it would be a happy ending!

Orange: It will be…cause then…::hand clamps over mouth::

Bakura: Don't spoil it!

Orange: Fine…you'll all have to wait then…but I promise a happy ending…that it…unless none of you review…then I might have to really bring on the torture. This is still the opening act…

Ryou: ::trembling:: Please review minna-san!

Orange: Okay… Byesies! See all of you ppl next time! Oh yeah…read The Great Monk of Oz if you all have the time to! ^_^