Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Room For Rent II ❯ Chapter 9 ( Chapter 9 )

Room for Rent II

Chapter Nine

"Oh… here's the mail, it never fails! It makes me wanna wag my tail! When it comes I wanna wail, `MAAAAAAAAAAAIL!'," Bob sang. He had just finished packing, and was going to move in with Pegasus later that day. He had just jogged outside to catch the mailman and tell him about how much he loved getting mail.

"Did I get anything?" Ryou called from the kitchen as he heard the front door slide shut.

"Bills!" Bob declared.

"Oh boy, oh joy," Ryou murmured, going back to making scrambled eggs.

"Oh, you and Bakura both have something from the university…" Bob said, giving the twin letters a calculating look.

"Give me that!" Bakura yelled, snatching the letter from Bob.

"How rude!" Bob spat. "…I think I'll go watch my American Idol tapes now…"

Bakura was feverishly tearing open Ryou's letter. "Hey, stop that!" Ryou yelled.

"Why?"

"IT'S ILLEGAL TO OPEN OTHER PEOPLE'S MAIL!" Ryou yelled, beating Bakura with a spatula.

"It's also illegal to beat people up, but does it stop you? Noooo…"

Ryou angrily snatched the letter from Bakura and finished tearing it open. He stared at the contents of the letter in shock. "Oh, Kami-sama…" he said, falling back into a chair.

"What? What?" Bakura asked.

Ryou began giggling hysterically. "Tee-hee hee hee…" He jumped from his chair, launching himself at Bakura. Bakura, caught off guard, tumbled to the floor, a happy Ryou perched on his chest.

"Hunawha?" a dazed Bakura asked.

"I LOVE YOU, `KURA-CHAN!" Ryou yelled happily, throwing his arms about Bakura, effectively squeezing the air from his lungs.

"What is it?"

"I got an A in Literature! I got an A! You got an A! WE GOT AN A!" Ryou kissed Bakura's cheek, tears of happiness rolling down his cheeks.

"I told you so…" Bakura said, a sloppy grin plastered on his face.

"Oh, Bakura… I'm so lucky to have you! You're so good to me…"

"Hey, Ryou…" Bakura mumbled, "Can you…err… get off me? We can certainly continue this, but the floor isn't very comfortable…"

"Oh!" Ryou gasped, hopping off of Bakura and helping him up. "I'm sorry!"

"It's all right. I know you'll be able to make it up to me," Bakura grinned, winking.

"Pfft. Stop it or I'll poke your eye out," Ryou mumbled, going back to preparing breakfast. "…You got a letter, too. See what your grades are."

Bakura picked up his letter, slitting it with a fingernail. He frowned.

"How bad is it?"

"What makes you think it's bad?" Bakura barked.

"…You're grimacing."

"Well, it's not that bad. I got straight B's."

"I got straight A's!" Ryou said, smiling gleefully.

"…only because I took your test for you."

"I could have done it myself if you hadn't decided you needed some the night before the final…"

"So?"

"Hn."

"I LOVE YOU!" the two yelled in unison.

Bakura sweat-dropped. "Wow…"

"Hey, Daddy!" Ryou called, "Your lover-man is here!"

Pegasus stepped through the door as if he owned the place. "Hello, Ryou," he said jovially.

"Stupid Pegasus."

"Stupid Ryou."

"He's my stupid Ryou, mister! And you'd better not be saying mean things to him!" Bakura yelled in Pegasus's face.

"But he started it…" Pegasus whined.

"So? You're older than him. You could have ignored him."

"…Of course, I'd probably get beat up for that too, ne?"

Bakura grinned. "Most likely, fruity man."

"You're fruity too!"

"Yes, well… my gay lover is sexier than your gay lover!"

"…"

"I'm ready, I'm ready!" Bob yelled, carrying several suitcases into the living room with him. "So, when are we leaving?"

"Bob… I… I wanted to ask you something…"

"Oh? What is it, then?"

Pegasus fell. "Oh, Pegsy, are you all right?" Bob shrieked, fussing over Pegasus like a concerned mama cat. "Are you hurt? Do I need to call an ambulance? SAY SOMETHING, HONEY!"

Pegasus coughed. "Bob… would you… join in a civil union with me?"

Bob's eyes were shiny and happy for a moment, before he glared. "No!"

"N-no…?" Pegasus asked, looking totally crushed. "Oh… I'm sorry to bother you, then…"

"No, Pegasus, that's not what I mean. Why a civil union? We deserve to be married, just like any other couple."

"But we're gay… they won't let us get married."

"Well, why not? They let Britney Spears get married while she was completely plastered! Why not let two people who really love each other get married?"

"…Do we love each other?" Pegasus asked, confused.

Bob paused for a moment to think. "Of course we do, silly! I love you as much as Hiei loves ice crea-er, Kurama!"

"Oh. Right."

"So, to stop this injustice… WE WILL STORM THE WHITE HOUSE!"

"Daddy… the White House is in America. We live in Japan."

"Oh… right. Well… WE'LL PROTEST IN FRONT OF THAT BUILDING THAT THEY HAVE THE DIET-THINGY IN!"

"…Jenny Craig is in the United States as well, father. Do we need to call your doctor about changing your prescription?"

"Nooooo! The Japanese legislative branch, the Diet!"

"Diet Coke?" Bakura asked out of the blue. "That stuff is nasty…"

"AARGH! …Come on, Pegsy. We're going to form a picket line," Bob declared, dragging Pegasus out the door.

"Wow…" Bakura said. "Should we go with them?"

Ryou stared at the door they had left through. He shook his head, grinning. "No… maybe in a few years, we'll protest to the Diet about it… but right now, we'll just watch those two making fools of themselves on national TV. That way, we'll know what not to do."

"…And here, you see two men protesting in front of the Diet building," the reporter spoke into the mike. "What are your names?"

"I'm… Bob."

"And I'm Pegasus J. Crawford! You should all go out and buy my book!"

Bob beat him over the head with a picket sign. "We're protesting here! You can advertise later!"

"So… what exactly are you two protesting?" the lady asked.

"See, I told you we needed to write things on the signs…" Pegasus muttered, still miffed about Bob hitting him.

Bob coughed. "I HAVE A DREAM!"

"…really?"

"Yes, actually," Bob answered. "And in my dreams… THE CLOWNS ARE CHASING ME! …Pegsy, save me…"

"Oh, I get it… you two are involved in the gay rights movement, aren't you?" the news lady asked.

Bob nodded vigorously. "We believe that any couple has the right to be married! Love is love!"

The reporter rolled her eyes. "Well, that's lovely."

"Are you rolling your eyes at me, foo'?!" Bob shouted into the microphone.

"YES I AM!"

"Well… why?" Bob asked, confused.

"How can you two be gay? YOU'RE NOT EVEN HOT!"

"…His son is gay, and he's hot," Pegasus muttered. "I just got stuck with the leftovers, that's all. Otherwise, I'd be here with Ryou instead.

Bob beat him with the sign again. "HOW DARE YOU, PEGSY? YOU SAID YOU LOVED ME!"

"So? It was in the script."

"I don't care! You can't just say something like that if you don't mean it!"

"For what the author pays me, I can," Pegasus said nonchalantly.

Bob sobbed. "Waaaaaaaah…"

"There, there," Pegasus said kindly, opening his arms. Bob gratefully collapsed into Pegasus' embrace.

"I'm still mad at you," Bob said, tears rolling down his cheeks.

"I know. But… that stuff I said… it was in the script, too."

"W-why? Why would she write something like that?" Bob asked. "That's so…mean…"

"Hey, Bob… whadda ya say we go torch the author, huh?"

"That… that sounds like it would be a lot of fun!" Bob said, eyes sparkling.

(Wait! THAT WASN'T IN THE SCRIPT, YOU IDIOTS! STOP IT!)

Pegasus and Bob stood, brandishing torches and pitchforks at the author.

"NO YOU DON'T!" Bakura yelled.

"Why not?"

"She… she finally made Ryou give me some!" Bakura yelled passionately, tears rolling down his cheeks. "She said she'd never do it, but she did in the end! I… I can't let you kill her after that!"

Pegasus and Bob lowered their weapons slightly.

"She… she brought the two of us together… when no one else would!" Bob murmured.

"That's probably because no one wants to read Pegasus x Ryou's Dad," Bakura muttered.

"YOU SHUT UP!" they both snapped at Bakura.

"Jeez…" Bakura muttered.

"Bakura, what are you doing on TV?" Ryou asked.

"I dunno…" Bakura answered.

"You're right here, but you're on the TV at the same time… and this is a live feed…"

"Hmm…" Bakura murmured, mulling it over. "Then that must be…"

"OTOGI!" they yelled.

DUN DUN DUN!

"Hi, everybody," Otogi greeted, slipping out of his Bakura costume.

"What?" Bob and Pegasus asked.

"Wow!" the reporter said, eyes glowing with happiness. "Are you gay too?"

"Yup," Otogi said, smiling.

"You… YOU HAVE DIIIIIIIICE!"

"Yep. I have dice. They're really nice, aren't they?" He asked, flicking one of his earrings so that it went all shimmery and sparkly.

"Wow… all right, folks! I WANT ALL YOU LIBERALS OUT HERE TO COME AND PICKET FOR GAY RIGHTS WITH US! WE CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT HERE, SO GET YOUR SEXY A- !"

The screen went black.

"I wonder what's wrong…"

An old man with a disgruntled look on his face appeared on the screen. "We sincerely apologize for what just happened. We were having severe technical difficulties, and… well, we still are. So maybe you should watch Dr. Phil or something." The man coughed. "…And that was how it was!"

Ryou flicked the TV off. The two of them stared at the blank screen for a moment, before…

"Wanna make out?" Bakura asked.

"Sure," Ryou answered with a smile.

"…I like couches," Bakura declared.

"Really? Well, I like beds," Ryou said with a smirk.

AN: Well, folks… it's over. Whew. That was… a long and bumpy road, I guess. I'm still expecting you to review. If you don't review, I shall cry. I shall cry lots and lots and the tears will pour from your computer screen and FLOOD YOUR HOUSE! *cough*

Well, that was odd. I hope you enjoyed it anyway.

Oh, and watch out for my next fic, which I'm planning on uploading within the next few days. It's a Yuu Yuu Hakusho, though. It centers around Kurama, Karasu, and Hiei… and stuff. You'll just have to check it out sometime, ne? *grin*

I love you all (though in a yellow rose way), and I'm glad you've made it this far! This is me, signing off.