Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Room For Rent ❯ Chapter 3 ( Chapter 3 )

Room For Rent

Chapter Three

The formatting is all screwed up for some reason. Blahhhhhh.

Yay, now it's back to normal! …sort of.

It was past ten when Bakura had come back from his rescue mission, Ryou in tow. Ryou was grumbling about how they still didn't have anything to eat, despite his earlier efforts at going to the grocery store. Ryou collapsed onto the couch, only dimly aware that he was even home. He was still very much fearing for his life, and decided to never do something worthy of being taken to a police station again.

"I'm hungry," Bakura grumbled.

Ryou didn't answer.

"Aren't you going to cook me something, female?"

"I'm not your maid."

"You owe me, remember!?"

"Order a pizza."

"I don't want a pizza."

"ORDER IT ANYWAY!" Ryou yelled.

Bakura backed away very slowly, for fear that the elusive Ryouus PMSus would attack him in a ferocious way, tearing him limb from limb and leaving Bakura to be not a very happy camper.

"Oh…O.K., I will…if you insist, Ryou-sama…" He picked up the phone with a shaking hand and dialed the number to Pizza Hut. "Moshi moshi…" Came the meek voice of the Bakuraus Scaredus.

"The pizza will be here in half an hour, Ryou-sama."

"Quit calling me that!"

"Eep!" Bakura squeaked. "You're scaring me…"

"Oh, I'm sorry, Baku…I'm just stressed right now… I still can't get over the fact that the creepy old man wanted to grope me!"

"Yeah, it must be bad to attract smelly old men. Oh well, at least I'm not the one attracting creepy people. But hey, you could be like one of those women on soap operas! You could marry a rich old codger and dye your hair blonde and have your jealous ex-boyfriend kill the man so you could live with money and happiness forever!"

"Oh, my. Do I even need to ask if you're on drugs?"

"Hey! It's just that my Grandma used to make me watch soaps. I hate them! They are scary!"

"That's good." Ryou yawned.

The doorbell rang. "That must be the pizza man!"

At their door was a man with a nametag saying `Uncle Ingrid, Sr.' (he hasn't started his own pizza palace yet) carrying a pizza. Bakura quickly handed him the money before grabbing the pizza from him and slamming the door in his face.

"How rude," Ingrid remarked, from outside the house, and headed back to his car and the Pizza Hut.

"Ryouuuuuuu! Do you want some pepper-ogre pizza?"

"Sure…"

Bakura crept quietly into the lair of the Ryouus PMSus and laid a piece of pizza on the table beside Ryou's couch. He then ran away as fast as he could.

"Oh, c'mon Baku, why don't you eat with me? I won't bite, I promise."

Bakura readily disagreed with Ryou's statement about a lack of biting, but came to sit next to Ryou on the couch anyway. He whimpered.

"You don't have to sit beside me if it bothers you that much…"

"O.K.!" Bakura jumped up.

"DID I SAY YOU COULD LEAVE?!"

"Umm…yes?"

"I DIDN'T MEAN IT! You were SUPPOSED to go `Aww, I'll stay with you, Ryou'! But nooo, you just have to go and be mean to poor Ryou! Do you realize what a terrible ordeal I've been through today?!"

"Well, I'm sure that old man was pretty bad…"

"Enough about the old man! I don't want to hear about that perv ever again!"

The phone rang.

Bakura picked it up, hoping for a respite from Ryou's lecturing. There was a moment, where he was listening to what the person was saying, before, "OH MY RA!" He then proceeded to curse profusely at the person on the other line. "AND IF YOU EVER CALL HERE AGAIN, I WILL STAB YOU WITH A TOOTHBRUSH! A TOOTHBRUSH PREVIOUSLY USED TO SCRUB TOILETS WITH!" He then slammed the phone down, certain the creepy pervy psycho stalker man would not dare call again.

Seconds later, the phone rang. Again.

Bakura picked up the phone and resumed yelling curses into it, before sweat-dropping and handing it to Ryou. "It's for you," he explained.

"Otogi? Oh, hello… don't worry, that's just the boarder. Yeah, he's clinically insane, but he saved me from the police men! And the creepy pervy psycho stalker man!"

Bakura plopped down on the sofa, dazedly munching on a piece of pizza.

"Oh, sure, I can come. Why would you want me to bring him? …Well, O.K., I'll ask him." He covered the mouthpiece with his hand and turned to Bakura. "Do you wanna go to the arcade with my friends and me tomorrow?"

"No. But I will anyway, if it makes you happy."

"It doesn't make me happy."

"I don't care! I'm going whether you like it or not!"

"Fine, fine. Otogi, he says he'll come. Yeah, that was him yelling about pineapples just now. Why? He's a mental patient, really!

"Yeah, O.K. One o'clock. Got it. Ja ne."

Bakura watched as Ryou placed the phone back on its cradle. "Hey, I just realized something… don't you still need to go to the grocery store?"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

O.o

"Why don't you go to the grocery store? I don't wanna," Ryou whined.

"You can go in the morning."

"Hmph."

"What?"

"I'm going to bed. You have fun eating your pizza. I hope you choke on the pepperoni."

"Why do you wish bad things upon me?"

"Because, you're a moron."

"Bah!"

Ryou threw the remote control at him; it hit Bakura's temple.

"Itai!" Bakura yelled. "That hurt…"

Ryou was just beginning to fall asleep, when there was a knock on his bedroom door. The door creaked open, light from the hall suddenly flooding his vision. He raised an arm in the air to shield his poor eyes (that were already quite comfortable in the dark), peering through the space in-between his fingers.

"Ryou, where's the medicine? I feel sick…"

Ryou groaned. He did NOT want to deal with this right now.

"They must have… poisoned the pizza…"

Bakura stumbled into the room and collapsed on the bed.

Ryou went `Eep!'.