Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Rose Colored Moon ❯ Chapter 2 ( Chapter 2 )

Second chapter, w00t!

 

Shio: Yay, more flames for the Ro-chan!

 

Ro: o_O;

 

Shio: The Almighty Ro-chan does not own Yu-Gi-Oh. *bows*

 

Ro: That doesn't mean I can't dream! *goes into own little world*

 

Shio: >_<; Please start the story. I wanna see you torture Kaiba-boy.

 

Ro: Enjoy su!

 

 

Chapter 2

 

 

“I can't believe you threw my alarm clock out my window,” Yugi yelled as he and Rose ran down the street to school.

 

“It's not my fault, the blasted thing was attacking my eardrums,” she yelled back. “Besides, it's Friday and I'd told you not to put it so close to my head!”

 

Yugi was silent and they made it just as the bell rang. They said goodbye as Rose went up to the office to get her schedule. She was greeted by the secretary with a warm smile and was told to sit down while she went to get the schedule. (A/N Everyone makes the principle's secretary a bitch, but I won't.)

 

“My, my, you're the third new student today,” she said when she returned.

 

“I am?” Rose asked in surprise.

 

The secretary nodded. “Yes. A young boy and his older sister started today. The boy has the same homeroom as you,” she said, then added as an after thought, a dreamy smile on her face, “He's really handsome, too.”

 

Rose sweat dropped. “Uh, could I have a guide so I can get to my homeroom?”

 

The secretary blinked as she snapped out of her daydream. “Oh, uh, yes. I'll call for someone right now,” she said as she picked up the phone and dialed. She put her hand to the receiver. “I hope you don't get caught for dress code.”

 

Rose looked down at her uniform. It was basically the same as usual one, but she had made a few adjustments. For instance, Rose had worn her fishnet stockings and Doc Martins boots instead of the traditional white knee high socks and brown loafers. She also had the sleeves of her pink jacket rolled up to just below her elbows. The long part of her hair was done in a braid and the short part was in a little pigtail tied off with black ribbons. Rose shrugged and went to sit down to await her guide.

 

A few minutes later, a guy walked in. Rose couldn't see his face, but from what she could see, he was tall with brown hair. He was also probably pretty cute too from the way the secretary was acting, but that was just her. The secretary pointed to her and she assumed he was her guide. Standing up with her bag, she waited for him to turn around and introduce himself. Slowly, he turned around to reveal…

 

“YOU!” Rose yelled as she pointed at Kaiba accusingly. This rude, arrogant bastard was supposed to be her guide?-she'd rather get lost and starve than let him lead her around. And from his expression, Kaiba wasn't to thrilled either.

 

“Miss, I came up here because you said you had something productive to do,” he said to the secretary, sending Rose a condescending glare. “I like to know what that is now.”

 

The secretary looked from Rose to Kaiba like the were circling dogs getting ready to attack each other. Biting her nails, she chose her words carefully. “I-I wanted you to take our newest student to her homeroom and show her around at lunch,” she stuttered.

 

Kaiba was about to decline, but he caught the look Rose was sending him, just daring him to back out. That's when he realized that, new student or no, she could ruin him by saying that Kaiba was afraid of a little girl. He would not have that happening anytime soon.

 

“Fine,” he snarled. “What's your homeroom number?”

 

“C17, class A,” Rose replied curtly, still glaring up at him. `He's like a bloody bean stock,' she thought in annoyance. (A/N Heh heh, he's taller than her. *rocks thrown at Ro* Owie. ;_;)

 

The secretary looked relieved while Kaiba looked even more irritated. This was just lovely. Walking out, he paused momentarily to motion jerkily for Rose to follow. She did so without complaint.

 

They walked down the hall in complete silence, neither bothering to break it nor caring how uncomfortable it was. And in the midst of all this annoying silence, the annoying little girl walking beside Kaiba decided to hum a little tune. A rather annoying tune; can you say “It's a Small World”?

 

Kaiba glanced at her. “I'd appreciate it if you didn't try to break the windows,” he said harshly, trying to ignore her. Gods was that song annoying.

 

Rose glared sideways at him, her duel colored eyes issuing a warning, but complied. It was a pathetic song after all. Of course, that was when she started playing with her necklace, the tinkling sound it made grating on the tall boy's nerves. Kaiba's patience snapped.

 

“Would you stop with your incessant, irritating behavior?!” he all but yelled at her.

 

Rose looked up at him with teary eyes, clutching her necklace with both hands. “Y-you don't have t-to be so me-mean,” she stuttered in a cute, squeaky voice.

 

Kaiba was a bit unnerved by Rose's sudden personality change. One moment she was annoying and humming, the next she was annoying and crying. Okay, so the annoying part was still true. He tried to ignore her, but his lack of acknowledgement only made his situation worse and she began wailing as more tears streamed down her face.

 

Okay, so now Kaiba felt bad. Which in it's self was amazing considering how self-centered he was. But, for some unknown and completely odd reason, he couldn't stand to see Rose cry.

 

“H-hey, don't cry, no tears,” he said, at a complete loss. Then he did something completely out of character: he apologized. “I'm sorry,” he said, the words rolling off his tongue like battery acid. Hey, I said out of character, of course, the surprising thing was he meant it.

 

“R-really?” she queried.

 

Kaiba paused before answering, pondering whether or not he should let her bruise his pride like this. “Yes,” he said finally.

 

Within the span of one second, Rose's tears stopped falling and she was as normal as she usually is. Sort of. “Good,” she said in a light tone, smiling brightly. “'Cause now I don't have to send my cousin after you.”

 

With that, she turned on her heel and glided over to their classroom, seeing it not too far away.

 

During all this, however, Kaiba couldn't help but feel gypped. He was silent during the rest of the walk to their class, trying to sort through his anger and confusion.

 

 

“Class, today we have another new student,” the teacher declared to her students. They clapped politely, signifying they were listening. “Her name is Rosaline Motou and she comes from America, so please make her feel welcome.” She turned to look at Rose. “Would you like to add anything?”

 

Said girl nodded and stepped forward. “Hi my name's Rose. I'm 16, have lived in the grand ol' U.S. of A for the last nine years, and that handsome little midget over there is my cousin,” she said, pointing to Yugi, who blushed and held his hand up in greeting.

 

The teacher sweat-dropped. “Right, um, Rose, go sit between your cousin and our other new student. Marik, please raise your hand.”

 

The sandy-haired Egyptian did so. Smiling at him in greeting, Rose took her seat next to him, noticing Kaiba a few desks away. While she said hello to the others around her, she failed to notice the weird looks he was sending her way.

 

“Okay class, since we have two new students today, I'm giving you the day off to ask them questions about their lives,” the teacher said. “So be sure to make them feel welcome and have fun.”

 

“Hello, I'm Marik.”

 

Rose turned her seat so she was facing him. “Hi, so you're the other new student the secretary was talking about,” she said brightly. Marik blushed slightly. “So where are you from?”

 

“He's from Egypt,” Joey said, grabbing the tanned boy in a choker hold that was loose enough not to hurt him. “We all met a while back and hated him.”

 

Rose looked at them confusedly, so Tea answered her unasked question. “When we first met, he'd done some pretty things nasty to us and tried to steal Yugi's puzzle,” she supplied the blonde.

 

“Yes and I am deeply sorry for it,” the current topic of the conversation said. “I disgraced myself and don't deserve your kindness and forgiveness.”

 

“You've got that right,” a voice behind them said. Whipping around, they groaned when they saw it was Kaiba. Rose glared heatedly at him.

 

“Oh look, it's the Jolly Green Giant,” she said sarcastically.

 

Kaiba fixed her with a glare of his own. “You are working on my nerve girl,” he said through gritted teeth.

 

Rose smirked at him. “Well unless you want me to finish, I suggest insulting someone else Kaiba-boy.”

 

Kaiba was steaming now. Everyone who was watching the interaction backed up slightly, even Yugi and the others. An angry Kaiba was not a good one; not that a normal Kaiba was either, but hey. Anyway, ever since the `Pegasus Incident' (finger emphasis), no one had ever called him Kaiba-boy. Not like anyone one could before either, but you get my point.

 

“Now, if you don't want what happened in the hallway to stay a secret, then by all means, go on,” she continued, an evil gleam in her duel colored eyes as she winked at him. “Oh, and please keep your incessant, irritating behavior to a minimum?” she added with a smile.

 

Kaiba's face was now scarlet from repressed rage. His clenched fists were shaking so hard that everyone was worried he would lose it and slug Rose in the face, not a good thing on his part. But in the end he just turned around sharply and left the room, slamming the door behind him. Everyone looked wide-eyed back Rose, who was now giggling like a maniac.

 

“Man, what'd you do to make Kaiba so mad?” Joey asked after a tense silence, not sure whether to be impressed or horrified.

 

“Not telling,” Rose replied almost giddily, giving everyone the victory sign.

 

Yugi gave her a suspicious look, his eyes narrowed. “You didn't cry did you?” he asked, putting emphasis on `cry'.

 

“Maybes,” she replied innocently, putting a finger to the corner of her mouth thoughtfully.

 

“What do you mean by `cry', Yugi,” Tea asked him curiously.

 

“Well, ever since we were little Rose has always been able to manipulate people by making herself cry, you know to get what she or someone else wanted,” he explained, giving his cousin a deadpanned look. She just continued to grin like a dork and give everyone the victory sign. “Anyway, she usually doesn't cry for real unless she's really upset.”

 

“Well at least we know what all the yelling was about,” Tristan said monotonously, giving Rose a blank look.

 

“In which case, thank you for defending me. It was really unnecessary,” the no longer silent Marik said. (A/N HE SPEAKS!!!) “Especially since I really don't deserve your kindness.”

 

Rose smiled warmly at him and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Marik, whatever you did you're forgiven. Besides, it's my belief that you shouldn't hold a grudge against someone who's truly sorry,” she told him gently.

 

Marik felt himself turning red as Rose looked at him; it was lucky for him, since his dark complexion hid it from view. He saw everyone looking at him oddly, so to avoid their probing stares, he looked down and what he saw made him nearly yell out. He was looking at Rose's necklace. `It's the Millennium Moon!'

 

Yugi took noticed of the slightly horrified look on Marik's face and the pieces began to come together. He realized what the former Tomb-Keeper was staring at what he probably knew, so he diverted everyone's attention by changing the subject.

 

“So, uh, Rose, how's Aunt Silva?” he asked quickly. Apparently that wasn't a good subject either.

 

Rose looked down, her face holding genuine sadness. “My mom died Yug. She got really sick and died a year ago.”

 

Yugi felt his heart drop at this news. His aunt had always been a nice person, one who was always taking care of him before moving to the States, also taking his cousin and only play mate, Rose, with her. “I'm so sorry, Rose. What happened?”

 

“I don't,” she began sadly, still looking down. “She had a mild case of the flu and didn't get better, so she went to the doctor for some medicine. He couldn't find anything and she only got worse and was sent to the hospital.” Rose took in a ragged breath to calm herself before continuing on. “Mom kept insisting she was fine, but then she just slipped away from the world one night. It was two weeks before I finally let myself be dragged back to school.”

 

Tea placed a comforting hand on Rose's shoulder. “It's alright.”

 

“You said she died a year ago, right? How've you been getting by till now?” Tristan asked her curiously.

 

“Simple: I ran the hobby shop we owned for a while after school. You know; making game figurines, little toys, and stuff for table top RPG's,” she said, sounding a bit proud of herself. “Anyway, then some bastard representative of some big shot company CEO came in and told me to clear out because the president had bought my shop. Gave me a friggin' week.”

 

“That's harsh,” Joey said sympathetically.

 

“Yeah,” Rose nodded in agreement before continuing. “Anyway, I naturally kicked the guy out and told him to try and make me leave. That was kind of a bad move on my part because he came back with a few goons the next day and dragged me out, quite literally kicking and screaming. They threw me to the curb and told me all my personal belongings would be sent to me once I'd found a place to live. I barely managed to rent a tiny apartment with my savings and I still don't know how they were able to buy the shop out from under me without my knowing it to this day.”

 

“So then how'd you manage to get by after that? You get a job?” Tristan pressed on, genuinely interested.

 

Rose smirked lightly, it becoming very apparent that this was her favorite part of the story. “I started entering Duel Monsters tournaments,” she stated proudly, making everyone sweat drop at this. “No really, I did. I wasn't half bad either, seeing as I made quite a name for myself and a lot of money too. The last tournament I tried to enter turned me away because I'd wipe the floor with them.”

 

Everyone looked at her in surprise. “Are you really that good?” Marik asked what everyone was thinking, though he was just as curious.

 

Rose nodded vigorously. “Yep, almost as good as the Rose Duelist,” she answered.

 

Joey gave a snort at this and Rose glared at him. “Yeah right, I'm not even sure if Yugi could beat that guy. I mean, he's like a friggin' dueling God from what I heard.”

 

Rose raised an eyebrow, the look on her face plainly saying `You've never seen him duel?' Joey just gave her one that said `I don't get cable'. Smirking, Rose looked at her cousin. “So are you really that good that good Yugi?” she asked, wiggling her eyebrows.

 

Before he could answer, Tristan cut in with his own. “Are you joking?-He beat Pegasus at Duelist Kingdom and Kaiba at battle City, plus once before that time. He's known all over as the King of Games.”

 

Rose ignored him, officially popping the brunette's bubble and Joey gave him a dead panned look in exchange. “So you're telling me the string bean that ran out of the room is a duelist? He sure doesn't look like much,” she asked instead.

 

Yugi frowned at her flippant dismissal of Kaiba, although sometimes he was fed up with the taller teen on most occasions as well. “It's not too wise to underestimate him, actually. Every time I have too duel him, he seems to just get stronger.”

 

“Whatever,” Rose said, shrugging the whole comment off. “Do you want to hear the rest of the story, or not?”

 

“Yes,” they replied in unison, making the blonde girl smile.

 

“Right, anyway, I was sitting on the sidewalk, cursing the jerk who had turned me away into possible inexistence, when a sea of people burst out onto the street. Some of the people were talking about the final match and I heard some idiot named Weevil Underwood had won, which, to me, is kinda sad because I've dueled the insect dweeb and he was really pathetic. Tried to cheat me out of a title I was after,” she said, shaking her head in mock shame. Yugi winced when he figured out what tournament she was talking about, as did everybody else save Marik. “Anyway, after the crowd had thinned some guy in a fancy suit approached me, I guess recognizing me from a previous tournament, and tells me that I should have been allowed to enter the tournament since everyone stunk in comparison to how good I am. Then, out of absolutely no where, he offers to sponsor me in the Duelist Kingdom tournament if I wasn't invited and I said yes. So that's my story, pretty cool, huh?”

 

Everyone stared at Rose with their mouths hanging open like they were trying to catch flies when she finished. It was unbelievable, what kind of nut was she? Macadamia? She was quite possibly the craziest person they'd ever met, and that was saying a lot considering Marik's track record. I mean, how could she talk so casually about something like that so casually? Bloody cheezits.

 

“I don't think that's really what I'd call it,” Joey said in a dull tone.

 

However, before anyone could get out another comment, the bell rang, thus signifying the end of class. They said their goodbyes and separated in the hallway to go to their next classes, walking in opposite directions. However, once again, before Rose could get very far she ran into something soft and warm, namely, Kaiba's chest.

 

“Ow, damnit,” she said in annoyance as she rubbed her sore nose. “Where the hell did you come from?”

 

Kaiba gave her a cocky smirk. “Well maybe if you paid more attention instead of being lost in your own little world, you would have known.”

 

Rose glared heatedly up at Kaiba, which wasn't much considering she was still rubbing her nose. “I was ya damn corn stock, you just popped out of nowhere.”

 

Kaiba's eye twitched at the corn stock comment, but ignored it. `What's with all these damn height jokes? Is she trying to imply something?' he thought in agitation. It took him a few more seconds to regain his composure before he spoke next. “Do you want to get to your next class or not? I will leave you here if you keep this up.”

 

Rose blushed at this when she realized she was walking around like Hansel and Gretel and nodded her head, causing Kaiba to smirk. She was pretty much quiet the rest of the way to their next class, mentally berating herself for her stupidity and to make sure Kaiba didn't decide to leave her behind. When they got to the room, Kaiba broke away and went to the one next to it, thus greatly confusing Rose.

 

“Why are you going that way, don't we have the same class?” she asked, voicing her confusion.

 

Kaiba snickered at her as if to say `you're a moron'. “I was chosen as your guide because 1: we share the same home room, and 2: all my classes are near yours.”

 

Rose turned crimson again. This was the second time this guy had made a fool of her today, and he was going to pay. Oh yes, he was going to pay dearly.

 

“Well all righty then, I'll see you after class Kaiba-boy,” she said as coolly as she could and strode into her class. Hmm, now what should she do?

 

~*~

 

Yugi had decided to meet his cousin by the gate at the front of the school when it let out. He was a little apprehensive about leaving Rose with Kaiba for so long, seeing as he might decide to leave her or she might decide to kill him, but he figured he had no other choice after finding out that the young CEO was his cousin's guide. Not to mention he was greatly relieved when she came stumbling out of the school door, completely in one piece. Hmm, maybe he'd have to reeducate her on her manners, seeing as in this country, being rude could get you arrested. (A/N This is actually true, I looked into it and saw that you could get arrested if you aren't polite to a stranger.)

 

“Yugi!” she cried out in pure joy as she bowled over an innocent freshman when she caught sight of him. Hmm, Kaiba must have been rough on her.

 

Before Yugi could even say anything, Rose had enveloped the shorter boy in a desperate bone-crushing hug; thus squeezing his windpipe as she lifted him off the ground. “Rose…I can't breathe…” he managed to gasp out as his vision went blurry.

 

Rose let the star-headed boy go, smiling sheepishly as she waited patiently for him to stop wheezing before she spoke. Once he had managed to discern that he was, in fact, still breathing and alive, he looked up at Rose with annoyed/curious eyes. “Oh Yugi, it was horrible!” she began, her voice high and whining piteously. “First Kaiba said he'd leave me to starve if I didn't shut-up, then he said my voice would crack the windows if it went any higher, then-then he made a fool out of me during lunch, and-and-" Rose stopped mid-rant when her eyes spotted the source of her grievances. Almost immediately, the Glare of a Thousand Deaths made its way to her pale face and Yugi took a step back, knowing and not liking that look. “And Yugi, he called me a moron.”

 

The King of Games gave her an exasperated look. `A `moron'? That's the worst he could do? Either Rose lost some brain cells in the states or Kaiba is losing his touch,” he thought, looking at his cousin as she bristled like a cat through slitted eyes.

 

Rose smiled darkly as she watched the young CEO conversing with a teacher, his face remaining impassive as the educator crooned over him. “He must pay. He must pay dearly,” she said in what sounded like a hundred voices at once; Yugi's eyes bugged out. They did even more when his insane cousin turned to him, smiling sweetly. “I'll be right back.”

 

With that said, Rose skipped off in Kaiba's general direction, fully intent on reeking her vengeance on the unsuspecting teen. It almost made you feel sorry for him; almost.

 

“Hey Yugi, where's Rose going?” Joey asked as he and the others popped out of Nowheresville.

 

“To beat the tar out of Kaiba,” he answered simply.

 

They all sweat dropped.

 

“Is she allowed to do that?” Marik asked, the girl confusing him greatly as he watched her walk up behind Kaiba and kick him in the head. In a skirt, no less.

 

“Apparently so, since the teacher seems to not be doing anything,” Bakura pointed out, indicating the gaping teacher. (A/N That's right, the white haired psycho's here. Wouldn't be story without him.)

 

Tea just sweat dropped. “I think the teacher is too horrified to do anything anyways,” she grumbled, though no one heard.

 

Rose chose that moment to walk back up to the group, a huge grin on her face. Yugi just gave her a deadpanned look. “Feeling better?” he asked monotonously.

 

“Yup,” was her simple answer, still grinning like the dork she was.

 

Yugi rolled his eyes to the heavens, asking why he was cursed with a cousin like her. “Rose, this is Bakura. He's another friend of ours and he's coming home with us today,” he said, indicating the white haired boy beside him.

 

“Pleased to meet you,” Bakura said in his sexy British accent (Which it is.), smiling at her.

 

Rose grinned widely at him. “Same to you,” she replied.

 

With that, the rag tag group set off for the Turtle Game Shop, chatting happily as they went. Well, except for two of them.

 

“Yugi, I have something to discuss with you,” Marik whispered as they followed behind the others, watching as Rose laughed at something Bakura had told her.

 

Yugi nodded, already having a good idea of what he wanted to talk about. He caught a glimpse of Rose's necklace as she turned to yell at Tristan, the gold moon gleaming in the afternoon light. In the back of his mind, something told him that he shouldn't admire its beautiful light.

 

*________________________________________*

 

At 4:00, Seto Kaiba was sitting in his corporate office at his desk, nursing a large bump on his head. Silently, he cursed that Rose-girl; weren't women not supposed to do something like kick a 6'4” man in the head?-Especially when that same woman was around 5'8” and wearing a precariously short skirt that would lift up if the wind blew too hard? Damnit, he was starting to sound like that idiot Wheeler, but damn did that Rose kick high for a girl in a skirt. It almost impressed him…almost.

 

Kaiba's secretary chose that moment to walk in, a bag of ice in hand for her concussed boss. She smirked when he took the bag from her irritably, placing it on the hidden knot on the back of his head and letting out a pain filled groan before shifting it a bit. It had pleased her to no end when the chauffer had told her what had happened to `the young Master', and they'd laughed about it once one of his bodyguards had escorted him up to his office. It was about damn time someone kicked that huge head of his!

 

“Sir, a Mr. Pegasus is on the line for you,” she said, having a hard time trying to hide her amusement.

 

Kaiba ignored her obvious glee at his pain, vowing to fire her later if his concussion didn't make him forget and sent the irritating woman away. He quickly pressed the button on the video phone and a most hated familiar face appeared.

 

“Ah, Kaiba-boy. I'm so glad to see you're well,” the white-haired billionaire greeted nonchalantly, a grin on his partly obstructed face.

 

Kaiba's eye twitched slightly, but he ignored it. “As well as someone who got kicked in the head can be,” he bit out sarcastically. “To what do I owe this honor?”

 

Pegasus grinned at Kaiba's reaction. “Just calling to make sure my precious duelist arrived in Japan safely. After all, we don't want this deal to fall through, now do we?” he said in a mocking tone, Kaiba was sure of it. That bastard, taunting him like that! He'd like to see the idiot's reaction if he ever found he had that kind of power…

 

But for now, all Kaiba could do was glare; and glare he did. “Your precious duelist never even got off the plane,” he growled.

 

Pegasus blinked, seeming genuinely perplexed by this information. “Impossible! I saw her off to the gate myself, there's no way you could have missed her,” he said after a few seconds, sounding sure of himself. It would figure Kaiba would loose his best employee.

 

The brunette was silent. “`Her'?”

 

“Of course `her',” Pegasus laughed, sorely amused with the disbelief present in his business rival's voice. “What kind of boy would call himself a flower, of any kind?”

 

Kaiba was tempted to say “Someone who work's for you.”, but he remained silent.

 

“I even made sure she was wearing the rose choker that's her trademark so you could find her! I did tell you she would be wearing it right-what am I saying, of course I did. It would have been the only way to identify her,” the white-haired millionaire continued to ramble light-heartedly, unaware of the slow horror that was creeping onto Kaiba's face. “Well, there's that and her unusual eyes and hair-style…”

 

He wasn't listening anymore; he'd stopped shortly after that last comment, and even then he felt anger begin to bubble inside him. The ice pack he had been holding had slipped from his hand to the ground, looking lonely and forlorn as it lay on the ground forgotten. Kaiba, meanwhile, was trying to sort through the overwhelming anger that was slowly consuming him.

 

“I'll be right back,” he said coolly, interrupting Pegasus' rambling so the older man could look at him curiously. “Better yet, we'll be back.” And with that, Kaiba hung up the phone before the other could answer.

 

 

 

End

 

 

I am sooo sorry I haven't updated in, like, forever. But I have been so busy with other stuff, not to mention all the little one-shots I've been making, that I completely forgot about this one. I'm not saying it's completely my fault, because it isn't, but it's also yours, the oh-so-wonderful reader's. You have no idea how hard it is to balance writing and our normal lives so that you can enjoy our pains. I'm not being stuck-up, no I'm just as much to blame, but it would nice to get a review every once in a while. This is the main reason I haven't updated: no one reviews. Which is why, from now on, I'm requiring at least five, count `em, 5 reviews for me to update the next chapter. If I do not get 5 reviews, I will discontinue my evil little story and stick to one-shots for as long as I am interested. That is all. *bows*

 

Shio: Ro-chan, stop whining and start typing. *whacks with a frying pan*

 

Ro: ;_; Ow, that really hurts! *rubs head*

 

Koharu (my sister): Good, now get to typing.

 

Ro: *sighs* The things I do for love…