Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Schadenfreude ❯ Schadenfreude ( Chapter 1 )

Hine: YAY! *listening to the Avenue Q soundtrack* I LOVE THIS CD!!

Yami Kyle: Since my Hikari's indisposed at the moment, I'll explain. Her friend burned her the CD to the soundtrack to the hit musical Avenue Q. She listens to it practically every moment of everyday.

Hine: Yup! *not listening any more* Anyway, I got this idea when I thought how funny it would be for the YGO chars to sing the songs! Then I remembered this one song, and how well it fit Bakura's personality! I was so happy! Then about a week later I decided to write it as a short oneshot songfic. ^-^ yay!

Yami Kyle: Shall I do the disclaimer than?

Hine: HAI!

Yami Kyle: Hine doesn't own Yu-Gi-Oh or Avenue Q, but she wishes she did.

Hine: Hai….

WARNINGS: Lots of foul language and repeat of the word "fucking". It's in Bakura's POV, what do you really expect?

Hine: This is also a RyouxBakura slightly, and a hint of SetoxJou.

Yami Kyle: And on with the nonsense.

~~~

Stupid fucking Ryou making me fucking go to this fucking school with him. He so fucking owes me for making me fucking go through with this whole fucking thing. I don't fucking want to be here and he fucking knows it! Why do I even fucking put up with him?! …oh yeah… cause I fucking love him… Ra damned fucking emotions fucking up my fucking judgement. Fucking music teacher making us into fucking groups and making us fucking sing a song together for a fucking project. Cunring music teacher even more for not fucking pairing me with my fucking Hikari!!

"Bakura? Are you alright?" I heard a voice ask me vaguely. It was that fucking shrimp, the fucking Pharaoh's light. Fucking music teacher fucking pairing me with the fucking Pharaoh's fucking light. The only fucking good thing I have to say about this whole fucking shit hole is that they didn't fucking question me when I said my surname was Thief. I inwardly smirked at that and Ryou looked over to me to see what was going on. Son of a bitch! I fucking forgot he can feel my emotions!! I close the link as quick as I fucking can. I turn to the Pharaoh's light and only nod.

He smiled at me now. "Bakura! It's our turn to present!"

Great. Just what I needed. To have to fucking sing in front of the whole fucking class. Oh well, at least the Pharaoh's light picked out a good song with lines that fully support everything I believe in. I just fucking wish the song wasn't from a fucking musical. Avenue L or something like that. I can't fucking remember. I stood up and walked to the front of the room slowly and handed the fucking teacher our fucking music sheet. She looked surprised at us. I inwardly cackled. Sorry bitch, but you make me sing, and I'm going to sing about something I fucking believe in.

She shrugged and slowly ran her fingers over the keys of that fucking noise maker. You know the one I'm fucking talking about. The big wooden one with the fucking keys and different fucking tones. Pinto? Pant? Piano! That's it! The fucking piano!

The Pharaoh's light grinned at me. At least the twirp had good taste in songs. The music slut quieted everyone in the fucking class and then began to play the music. It's my line first, so I crossed my arms and began to sing. And by Ra I fucking sing well.

"Right now you are down and out, and feelin' really crappy…"

"I'll say…" the Pharaoh's light muttered as part of his line.

"And when I see how sad you are… it sort of makes me…. happy!!" I chuckled as I sang that bit.

"Happy?!"

"Sorry Shrimpy, human nature; there's nothing I can do! It's schadenfreude, makin' me feel glad that I'm not you!" I burst out into laughter both as part of the song, but also `cause it's a fucking funny line.

"Well that's not very nice, Bakura.."

"I didn't say it was nice, but everybody does it!" I began to sing my lines again. "Didja ever clap when a waitress falls and drops a tray of glasses?"

"Yeah…"

The fucking class seemed to be getting into it now; especially Malik and Marik.

"And ain't it fun to watch figure skaters fallin' on their asses?!" I sang out emphasizing the last word just to piss of the music wench. Yeah, she's not a slut, she's a fucking wench.

The Pharaoh's light sang his line. "Sure."

It was my turn again. This bit I especially liked. "Don'tcha feel all warm and cozy watchin' people out in the rain?" the audience nodded at this question.

"You bet!"

"That's schadenfreude, people taking pleasure in your pain!"

The fucking singing was over, at least for now anyway. Time for the fucking mid-song conversation, which coincidentally, I didn't have to start.

"Schadenfreude? What's that? Some kind of Nazi word?"

Here I turned my attention to the Priest's lover, knowing he would hate this next bit of the song. "Yup. It's German for happiness at the misfortune of others."

I received a glare at this. Ra it's fucking fun pissing him off. It's so fucking easy too.

"Happiness at the misfortune of other, hmm? That *is* German!" recited the Pharaoh's light with a small giggle and apologetic look to the Priest's lover. Then he began to sing again. "Watching a vegetarian being told she just ate chicken!"

The class giggled. If they liked that, I know they're going to love my line. "Or watching a frat boy realize just WHAT he put his dick in!"

At this, the Ishtar's burst out laughing, the Pharaoh chuckled, and the rest of the fucking class…. Giggled….. Ryou how ever smiled, but because of our link, I know he was fucking cracking up inside. That's my Hikari. Ah, almost hadn't noticed that the Pharaoh's light was singing his part.

"Being on an elevator when somebody shouts, `HOLD THE DOOR!'"

"Oh yeah." I laughed.

We sang the next line in unison. "NO!!! It's schadenfreude!! FUCK YOU LADY, THAT'S WHAT STAIRS ARE FOR!!!" we both sang laughing. Ah yes, my favorite fucking part of this whole fucking song. Especially since I don't have to fucking start it off.

"How about straight A students getting Bs!"

A snicker.

"Exes getting STDs!"

A laugh.

"Waking doormen from their naps!"

A few embarrassed, but satisfied faces.

"Watching tourists reading maps!"

A snicker.

"Football players getting tackled!"

A few of the guys in our fucking class blushed at that. Ah yes. My line; favorite one in the whole fucking song. For this, I looked directly at the fucking Priest.

"CEOs GETTING SHACKLED!!!!!!" I recited as I tossed him a set of $1 handcuffs I stole from the fucking dollar store. The whole fucking class erupted into choking laughter and even the fucking music wench chuckled.

"Watching actors never reach-"

I chimed in on cue. "THE ENDINGS OF THEIR OSCAR SPEECH!"

I sang alone now as I'm supposed to. "The world needs people like you and me who've been knocked around by fa~te. `Cause when people see us, they don't wanna be us, and that makes them feel gre~at!"

The Pharaoh's light's turn now. "Sure! We provide a vital service to society! You and me!"

I chimed in again. "That's schadenfreude! Making the world a better place, making the world a better place, making the world a better place to be~!" we sang together.

And I get to finish off the fucking song. "S-C-H-A-D-E-N-F-R-E-U-D-E!"

I re-crossed my arms and just stood there, the Pharaoh's light next to me, grinning. The whole fucking class erupted into applause, Ryou I noticed, was clapping the loudest. I smiled inwardly at this. I'll have to thank him properly for this later on. I told him this via the mind link and he blushed redder than a fucking cherry. He's fucking cute that way, too.

The fucking music wench handed us back our music sheet and called up the next fucking group. Of course no one heard them as everyone was still laughing at mine and the Pharaoh's light's song.

I went to go sit down next to Ryou. He turned to me and smiled. "You have a really nice singing voice, Kura…"

I smirked. "You're damned fucking straight I do."

~~~

Hine: *giggles* How did you like it?

Yami Kyle: That is a good song.

Hine: I KNOW! And doesn't it just so well fit `Kura?

Yami Kyle: It fits everyone. As the song points out, "everybody does it."

Hine: I know. ^-^ Anyway, review please!!!