Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Simple ❯ Yours to Deal With ( Chapter 20 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to Yu-Gi-Oh
Lemon Warning applies to seventh part for a general one and the tenth for a graphic one.
Chapter XX: Yours to Deal With
Something needed to change. How often had Yugi been telling himself this? Change…was not an easy option for him. It scared the shit out of him in all ways. All the possibilities terrified him. But he could no longer ignore the fact that he was constantly uncomfortable, unable to do anything but think about Yami all the time. His thoughts always traveled back to the red-eyed teen.
He could no longer deny the obvious. He wanted Yami. Yugi wanted Yami in a way that was barely endurable with the physical need that came with it.
Yugi had always been angry at Yami for having Tea's attention when he struggled so hard to try and gain it himself. But now that he thought about it, Tea was right to think of him as mind-numbingly beautiful. He was sorely aware ofeverytiny little aspect of Yami's body. How smooth his legs actually were. How deliciously his round backside filled out whatever pants he was wearing. And those lips–plump, silky lips when kissed…Yugi could fantasize about those for hours.
Flashes of heat streamed through his veins as he pictured himself on top of a half-naked Yami and his imagination brought the image of kiss-swollen lips and a flushed face, sweet moans and the feeling of Yami's tongue against his.
In his mind Yugi replayed the feeling of softness between his fingers as he had combed through the long red-tipped black hairs. For a long moment Yugi admitted to thinking of Yami as some kind of king, or maybe a god. One that he didn't want to lose to someone else who would not love him in the way heneededto be loved. And Yami, Yugi knew, needed to be loved alot. That much Yugi was sure of.
He may not have been Yami's best friend, but if there was nothing else he had learned about him, it was that he needed support just like everyone else even if he didn't want to accept it. And when Yami was stressed out, he said rather rude things and was not the nicest and he would fight with you over nothing and everything and Yugi could not see someone else handling his wildest mood swings, his dangerous clash of fears.
Yugi had always felt comfortable with letting Yami lean on him because that was what he did. He let people lean on him and he wasn't sure that anyone else would do this for Yami in the right way. He needed someone who would fight with him with all they had but continue to love him regardless, to talk him out of things when he was so worked up he could barely function properly.
He and Yami had gotten pretty close over the last few days since the videos began coming out, Yami let him lean on him when he needed and Yugi let him lean on him, did what he needed to in order to make sure Yami was okay. Admittedly, some of his ideas were simply not the best, but they worked for the two of them and the sex was still pretty awesome.
Yugi felt sick to his stomach with the idea of Yami loving him. How could he possibly say that and mean it? Yami had to be joking, right? It wasn't that Yami was not desirable, because he definitely was and Yugi would definitely take him on at any moment as his bedmate but to claim he loved him? Yugi had neverbeenin love. Not truly. The thing with Tea had been purely lust and a deep foundation of friendship, the desire to have her in his bed and be with her in ways that others couldn't. It was spurred on by his grandfather's words and desires for him to find someone and it was only tripled by his need for attention.
When he actually took the time toreallythink about it, he could not understand why he had ever wanted her in the first place. Her true colors had definitely shown the last few months and they were notnearlyas bright as Yugi had originally thought. It disgusted him that he had even been drawn to the brunette. Then again…all he had ever wanted, she had given him–attention, pure and simple. Though definitely not the kind he wanted.
No, Yami was the only one who gave himthatkind of attention. He was the only one who looked at him with adoration in his eyes and who flirted with him and treated him as he would treat anyone else. Yami was the one who was willing to put up with him at his worst without expecting anything else. Yami was the one…who claimed he loved him.
And Yugi hated himself for not being able to say it back. He hated himself that he allowed terror to hold him back. He hated himself that Yami was tearing himself up over telling him and especially the slip up four days ago, the night before they showered together. And he definitely hated himself for telling Yami that he should never have told him in the first place.

"I slept with your girlfriend."
Joey spun around so fast that everyone in the growing crowd was shocked by the sudden movement; Mai gave him a warning look but Yami paid her no attention, his face twisting up into a cruel smirk as he stepped forward.
"I slept with Mai. Did she ever tell you that?"
Yugi was gawking now, standing with Bakura and Malik who were walking forward from nearby and stopping a couple of steps behind him. He had been there when the fight had first started, Joey calling Yami a "fucking fag" again and making crude remarks about Yugi and the video, and Yami had suddenly pulled the Mai card, which by all means hurt Yugi just as badly as it startled Joey.
Yami opened his mouth enough to show off his teeth and his canines glinted beneath the fluorescents as he tilted his head and chuckled, "No? Funny, considering she's always been in love with me."
The blond spun on Mai who was looking at Yami with a pleading expression. "Did you fucking sleep with him?" he spat.
Oh yes, and Yugi wanted the answer to that question too.
Mai shrugged. "Yeah," she said without shame, looking at Yami again. "Though I wasn't expecting him to announce it to everyone."
"I'm sorry, Mai, but you seem to have been demoted to the hydrant for this little pissing contest he wants me to partake in," Yami spat at Joey, that smirk still wide and cold on his face.
As expected, Joey lunged but Yami kicked so fast that it was hard to even tell he moved at all if it wasn't for the blond getting hurtled to the ground and sliding into the lockers with a massive crashing noise.
"Yami, stop it," Mai said, eyes wide.
He gave her a small glance and then focused on Joey who was getting up again. "You're lucky I give two fucks about Mai or else I'd beat you within half an inch of your life," he snarled softly, turning and starting away before freezing when he spotted Yugi standing there; both of them stared for a moment before the blond threw himself at the red-eyed teen. Yugi opened his mouth in warning but when his hands grabbed at him Yami grabbed them and then flipped Joey over his shoulders where he hit the ground with a sick cracking noise.
Joey groaned in pain and Yami gave him a bored look before turning to his cousins. "Want to skip?" he murmured, making the other two gawk before looking at each other and then shrugging. Yami glanced at him, the invitation extended to him without words, and Yugi very slowly fell into agreement, following them as they wandered out the door and off into the parking lot.

Yugi only asked once and when he did it was nonjudgmental.
"Did you really sleep with Mai?"
Yami merely looked at him and the look said it all. Yes, he slept with her. No, he would not apologize.
"Do you…do you love her?"
He was silent for a long time. "Not in the same way as I love you," he muttered, looking at the TV again, shrugging his shoulders. "It's completely platonic."
She was Mai. And Mai was his friend, nothing more and nothing less.
He loved her and would do anything for her, but the feelings that came with it…the ones he felt for Yugi, they didn't come when he was with her. He didn't feel like hehadto see her every day, he didn't feel the need to protect her, he didn't feel that desperation that crawled beneath his skin when he wondered if he was okay. That fire in his veins, the ache in his chest, the pain that laced through his entire body, did not exist when she was not around him.
Yugi watched him closely. He didn't think Yami knew that he had just said he loved him again. Or maybe he did and just wasn't going to give Yugi the satisfaction of apologizing for the statement.
But then, Yugi didn't really want him to apologize.

"Can you read what it says on the side of the box?" Yugi asked curiously.
"To the one who completes my puzzle, is the power and knowledge of darkness given."
Yugi turned his head towards him and stared. "What does that mean exactly?"
Yami shrugged and kept the Puzzle where it was, not even bothering with a glance towards Yugi or the box or the ancient artifact. "No one knows."
But he was starting to get an idea of it.
No, it wasn't amagicpower. The darkness was not a magic power.
It was bred in the human race.
It was the knowledge and power of the darknessinsideof people.
That was what it meant. Nothing more, nothing less.
But that power seemed rather massive.
Yami looked at the Puzzle around his neck. Because if he had not been wearing it the day his father had come the weekend after he visited Seto at the Kaiba Corp building, who knows what would have happened? He obviously would not have brandished that knife against him.
The Puzzle brought out his darkness. It made him strong enough to face his father. But in the meantime it tired him out. It was like he traded energy to be able to protect himself. It was like being in survival camp all over again.
But if it was his darkness that the Puzzle drew out of him…
What the fuck were the dreams about?
If the Puzzle brought out his darkness, had it done it for his ancestor as well? Was that how he became so powerful? How he could rule a nation of that magnitude and still expand all before he turned seventeen?
The Puzzle brought out Atem's darkness, made him dark enough to call the shots that he couldn't before.
Just as it did with Yami now…

"Actually, the shelf was put in because Grandpa would use it to keep me still when I was two and he had to give me a bath," Yugi replied, laughing when Yami's eyes flickered away towards the door of the bathroom and back in shock, somewhat disbelieving. "Anyways, so yeah, that's what that was put in the shower. I was a really troublesome kid when I was younger. You would not believe how much crap I got into from elementary to middle."
Yami raised an eyebrow and then laid his legs across his lap lazily. "Yeah?"
Yugi grinned widely and then leaned towards him with a teasing light to his blue-violet eyes. "You should see my middle school yearbook photos," he snickered. "I used to have so many scrapes and scratches and used to cover myself in so many band-aids that Grandpa couldn't even show my picture to anyone because it always looked like he was abusing me."
Yami threw his head back and laughed. "Holy shit! Are you serious?"
"Yeah, whatever it was that made it happen, I always got a scrape and bruise or a busted nose or lip right before picture day. Every. Single. Year."
"And freshman year?"
Yami had been behind him in line for the pictures, Yugi remembered after a moment, confused by the question, his eyes widening as he remembered that he had heard Yami and Mana and Mahado talking behind him and had literally turned around at one point because he didn't understand why those two were friends with him in the first place, that idea that Yami was only popular because he had good grades still intact back then. He remembered his blatant stare, slightly irritated but mostly curious with a side of plain boredom, had drawn all three students' attention, red eyes regarding silently and without expression, a pair of purple curious and blue-green eyes wide with surprise. It was actually the only time that he had interacted with Yami at all in ninth grade outside of watching him and Joey argue about how Yami wasnotYugi and Joey needed to get his eyes checked before Yami beat the crap out of him.
"Um…well, I discovered the beauty of makeup. My grandpa finally got a little fed up with the occasional question about whether or not I was being abused." He laughed and pressed a small kiss to Yami's lips at his stunned expression, making his red eyes widen drastically at the sudden action, before jumping up and running off; when he came back he handed him three books, smirking widely and tapping the hard cover of the top book. "Those are theonlythree yearbooks I have from elementary to middle thatdon'thave completely scratched out pictures."
Yami burst out laughing again and then opened one, starting to flicker through the pages before looking at him for assistance; Yugi blinked a couple of times before remembering that Yami had never encountered a yearbook before this moment. Even in ninth grade, he had not once seen him touch one outside of signing them; he hadn't even bought one, instead opting for signing and joking around with all of them. And then he felt horrible because Yami had missed out on a lot in life.
"Here, let me see this." He took a seat next to him, pushing their legs together, and started sorting through the pages before flipping to his class and handing it back, pointing to himself. "Band-aids, bruises, and a busted lip. I do not lie."
Yami burst out laughing again before shaking his head; Yugi went about flipping open the other two yearbooks as well before handing them to him. The red-eyed teen looked down at the next and then cried from laughing so hard, clutching at his stomach as pain from his lack of breath flew through him.
"Holy crap!" Yami choked out, wiping at his eyes. Yugi laughed with him, smiling at the picture and laughing a little louder with him. A thirteen-year-old Yugi stared out at them, petulant and refusing to smile and show his teeth, his nose swollen, his left eyebrow covered in a band-aid, hair ruffled and looking grimy, eyes glaring pensively, almost as if he would huff at him that very moment if he could. "Oh my god. I can't believe how hilarious you look!"
Yugi pushed his face away by the forehead, rolling his eyes. "I bet you would have had some just as bad as me if you had ever been in one."
Yami shook his head. "I would have gotten my ass beaten until I couldn't sit for three years if I ever disgraced my parents with a photo that wasn't perfect," he responded with a frown, the laughter immediately gone. And then he felt horrible because Yugi went silent with him and his smile was gone as well, which made Yami feel sick because Yugi was beautiful and he felt like Yugi should always be smiling.
But Yugi was really wishing that Yami had never gone through that in the first place, his teeth finding his lip to pull some flesh with his back molars digging into his right cheek. At least Yami hadn't turned out like someone else might have if they had gone through that. He knew he himself probably wouldn't be anything remotely like Yami, who somehow was strong enough to maintain his rather friendly but highly introverted personality. Anyone else and he thought they might have turned out like Ushio.
Or possibly even him.
Honestly, he didn't know which was worse anymore.

"Do you really love me?" he asked, ignoring the way his body tingled and his mind told him to shut up and just melt into the sensation of Yami's fingers dancing over his body through his clothing. But his heart yearned for the words, for that deep-rooted affection in his eyes, the visual and verbal signs of the emotion, the thing that he had been missing for what felt like an eternity now, only granted in that split second before his mouth had opened.
"Well, that's just great. Thank you for killing the mood, Yugi," he muttered, pulling away and messing with the remote, no longer even able to face him; he hadn't meant to let his expression slip like he had. That look of keen adoration was never meant to be shown in the first place. He had been blocking it for days now, but for whatever reason it snuck out at this moment.
"Don't do that. Don't shut me out the one time that I actuallytryto really talk to you about shit that matters. It's something I've been wondering about since you said it." He wanted to know. His selfish, greedy heart yearned for the words, though his mind repelled them as if they might be poisonous.
"Why are you doing this? Why now? I thought we were going to just put this behind us and be fuck buddies again," he snapped, not really meaning for the biting words but angry and feeling cornered, almost as if Yugi was mocking him with his desire to discuss this.
"All right, you know what? Forget it," Yugi muttered, rolling his eyes in annoyance; his heart felt heavy in his chest for a moment, threatening to slip into his stomach. "But, if you ever want to talk about it, I'm open to it, okay? I just…I want to make things good with us and I want to do it the right way."
"Well, you could start by fucking me like I asked you to a minute ago," Yami deadpanned. He wasn't about to do this. This was some kind of trap and he wasn't one for falling for them. He was floundering as it was with everything going on, especially with the knowledge that Yugi was going to throw him aside soon enough for Rebecca. Ra, how long until their date? Had they already picked a day? Or was Yugi still not doing it yet?
But he would soon enough, because, of course, he had made a deal with her and Yugihardlyseemed like one to back out on a deal.
Yugi sighed once, not because the idea was unappealing–because itwasbyallmeans–but because he was denied what he wanted, though in retrospect asking him after his own little terror of calling himhisYami, while his mind was so full of fear that he was attached to the other boy, honestlydidseem like some kind of setup to make Yami say it so that he could recoil and push him away again like he had been doing before…

How had he been weaseled into this? How had Yugi managed to convince him to allow him to fuck him in the forest? On the ground…against arock? In Konami Mountains…
His shoulders were definitely not happy with the sensation of his skin being roughed up against the grainy surface and his spine echoed its dismay at the sensation of Yugi's hard thrusts sending him further and further up the relatively smooth granite stone.
And his muscles whispered words of ache and pain that he knew he would regret later but not then, because for the moment, despite the small cuts, despite the way his body hissed away from the blue-striped silver of the black-flecked white stone, it was mewling with pleasure and buckling with pure satisfaction at the sensation of Yugi's penis sliding in and out of him at such a rapid pace.
The teeth in his neck…how much he loved the sensation of the little white canines tugging gently at his golden-bronze skin, leaving him growling in delight despite the mewls that left his open lips in ragged pants.

Even lying against him, with only warm cloth separating their skin, Yugi found it a struggle to get close enough. It made him twist in his skin and he felt like he was stuck at some kind of fork in the road. Yami twitched in his sleep next to him, breathing even and his exhales ghosting over his skin softly.
There had to be a balance for this.
Because Yami loved him too softly.
But if he was honest with himself…he was starting to think that maybe he might love Yami too hard.

"Promise me you won't say it again," he'd begged, wincing when Yami stared at him in confusion, eyes wide and tilting his head, not knowing what else to do because he didn't know what the hell Yugi was talking about in all honesty. "Don't say it again."
He hadn't said it in a long time so he didn't understand why Yugi was freaking out. Then again, perhaps it was wrong of him to press at it that he wanted to hear Yugi say those two words again, the two that he had whispered in the darkness with the obvious thought that he had not been awake. But he had, in some place between sleep and awareness and half the time he wondered if he had been hearing things, because the second he had tried to focus on it again, he was too far gone to even stay awake.
Now, as they took space in the woods, sitting against the stupid rock where Yugi had fucked him only the day before, Yami was leaned forward with his right arm against his bent knee, his other leg pressed firmly against the ground while Yugi held his hand next to him. They had only started coming out here in the first place because they were both well aware that they would have heard it if someone came to record them or something.
There was the constant chatter of birds in the trees and the gentle whisper of the branches as they stirred in the wind, and the occasional small animal would spotted moving around in the undergrowth though neither had paid attention to them, instead lost in their own thoughts.
"Why are we holding hands?" Yami muttered, not harshly but beyond curious and severely confused, cutting him a sideways glance with his head tipped to the side, not entirely sure of his own placement in the cooling air of the setting sun.
"Does it bother you?" Yugi asked curiously, raising an eyebrow in confusion. He could find no reason for Yami to dislike it. It seemed like something he would want in the first place, right?
"No, but surely you realize that it indicates something much more," Yami said with narrowed eyes, watching him closely with a darkened gaze, watching as Yugi's eyes widened in shock.
"I thought you said you would stop doing that," Yugi said quickly, inwardly panicking, unwilling to give birth to his secret statement and regretting his harsh tone when Yami snatched his hand back as if burned, watching him with wide eyes that seemed to glitter like cold ice. "That was part of the deal we made, right out here, r-remember?"
Both of them ignored the stutter in his words, but both of them were sent reeling by the sensation of disconnection between them, Yami clenching his jaw as he wondered harshly why he had ever agreed to stop saying or implying anything of the emotions that Yugi showed him most of them time in his instability but never voiced. To stop testing to see if Yugi had really said the words that buzzed in the back of his head and left him confused and tired with the reverberation of their implications that made his mind chaotic.
It could have been to placate the smaller boy. It could have been just because he was trying to stop his mind from swimming with the chaos of his thoughts. Or, more likely, it was because he was in his little haze of after-sex after being fucked against the very rock they were sitting against.
No matter the reason, he truly hated himself and his choices at that moment.
"I did," he noted, clenching his jaw momentarily; his voice bit out against the cold air and made Yugi swallow hard as those blood red eyes turned as hard as granite before him though the question ofAren't we past deals, Yugi? shown in his eyes for a split second. "I agreed totry."
But did pointing out the obvious, that their handholding, that Yugi had initiated it rather than him, was that truly pushing at the subject of their attachment to each other? He didn't see how it was except for the fact that maybe his tone had sounded off, possibly sly, but he hadn't meant it to and when he thought about it, he did not hear that in his voice at all.
Regardless, no bringing it up. At all.
His veins flared a fresh burst of unfiltered shame as Yami started to draw into himself, his eyes hardening and glistening to the point that they had turned into the equivalent of two blocks of blood-stained ice, his jaw clenched and a muscle jumping as his teeth ground together, an instinctive shift of position pronouncing just how badly Yugi had just messed up with his statement.
He reached out, no thought in his head but to quell the pain, his heart spilling forth and his body flooding with a blatant urgency to sooth the ache he had inflicted upon the red-eyed teen, his fingers grasping at his arm gently, soft in their touch, his eyes wide and pleading as they bore into the other boy's.
The ache that he wasconstantlyinflicting.
"I'm sorry. That…it's not what I meant," he whispered softly, his voice barely heard despite the fact that the growing darkness was drawing forth the silence of the creatures moving around, watching as Yami regarded him for a long minute before finally his head tuned away, staring blankly at the ground. "I'm sorry…I'm so sorry."
I know you love me and I'm sorry I can't reciprocate.It only makes things harder than it already is.I wish things were so much simpler than this.I wish I didn't constantly bruise your heart further.I'm so sorry to be cause of your pain…
But mostly, he was sorry that he couldn't say the words to him.
Because he knew that Yami would listen.
He was always willing to listen.

The pain shot through his leg and left him clenching his jaw as he held his thigh, eyes narrowed into slits at the sensation of the pulled muscle; he didn't acknowledge the door opening and the reappearance of the smaller teen who watched him curiously from where he was approaching the nest of blankets and pillows that they had constructed after Yami had uncharacteristically complained that the floor hurt his back.
"You okay?" Yugi wondered, eyes wide as he looked at him, crouching next to him and tilting his head in pure curiosity, confused as the other boy continued to study his leg.
He stretched his leg out experimentally, hissing in pain before pulling it towards him once more, sitting up and looking it over. "I'm fine. Just pulled a muscle," he said honestly, wondering about whether or not he should try to massage it but finding himself a little irritated with the train of thought as it did not truly gather his attention.
"Too much sex and you pull a muscle," Yugi said in a slightly awed voice, blinking once before shooting him a wide smirk, eyes shining in amusement. "Must be from bottoming."
Yami turned his head, blinking once, startled by the comment, smirking widely at his teasing before turning back; Yugi had insisted on topping every time the last three days and it was really no wonder that he was growing tired. It was getting a little frustrating to remain as he was without complaints, biting them off constantly before they could exit his mouth, his lack of control tearing into him like barbs sinking into his flesh.
Yugi reached out and grasped his wrist, startling him slightly even as he leaned forward between his legs, grinning as he teased, "Want to see if we can even you out a little?"
His fingers were gentle yet firm around his wrist, feeling his pulse even though it did not leap beneath his touch, Yami snickering, "I think I prefer being able tousemy legs" with a gleam to his eyes that was nothing short of mocking.
He was unsurprised when Yugi's tongue was stuck into the hollow of his collarbone, dragged up the column of his neck, teeth nipping at his jaw before he slid lower; frustration surged through his heated skin when still Yami's pulse did not falter in its steady rhythm, neither jumping nor skipping in its easy touch beneath his fingers. The look to his eyes said nothing, gave Yugi nothing, and his lack of movement made his head spin with need; he wanted the connection back. He wanted it far more than he ever wanted anything else. Saying his name, demanding Yami answered, was not something he could find in himself to do and instead he found himself studying him, gauging, measuring, all the while bleeding beneath his skin with need.
His heart did not skip, it did not jump and flutter. Instead it remained as it always was, steady in its way, not once faltering despite the fact that some perspiration had bloomed beneath his rib when Yugi stroked at it with his tongue. The mist of salt made his tongue burn with desire, desperate for more, for some kind of reaction that his body gave without Yami's active knowledge.
He pulled his wrist closer to him, surprised that Yami had not broken from his grasp as he might have months before, instead settling for allowing his arm to be pulled forward towards Yugi's, pressing his pelvis against Yami's and coaxing his legs a little wider.
But the moan Yami let out when he took his nipple into his mouth and ran his tongue over it was flat and sounded weighted, tired, by all means weak in its timbre.
"Are you all right?" he murmured softly, pulling away to look at him, but red eyes wouldn't look at him, instead staring at the wall and when he twisted to face him, they flickered towards the ceiling and away from his altogether.
He was slipping beneath his grasp, pulling away even as his tense body welcomed him, every single bit of what Yugi was used to feeling when pleasing the teen beneath him completely gone in an instant. He wasn't going to just let that happen; he refused, which was exactly why he slid his hands to Yami's inner thighs and stroked with needy fingers, pinching with his nails to make Yami growl softly and curl his lip back in surprise before stroking at his balls with the pads of his fingers, a nail tracing the vein that throbbed on the underside of his erection. He was well aware that his desperation showed in his actions, that his alarm was tangible as he struggled to draw Yami back to him, but it was all he could use to reel him back, something that even the stubborn red-eyed teenager could never deny him, and slowly Yugi felt him relax beneath him, moaning softly into the sex-coated air of the bathroom.
"You said…I was yours," Yami suddenly muttered breathlessly, reaching out and twisting his wrist free to grip both of Yugi's, holding his hands still to ensure he could not be distracted further; it took him a moment to remember but yes, he had said that a couple of days ago, when he had thought that Yami had fallen asleep. "Is that…still true?"
My Yami…
Yami's eyes were dark, expressionless and nearly black with the dilation of his pupils, gaze narrowed in frustration, demanding an answer that Yugi had no idea how to give him. Instead he went about pulling his own hand free to grip Yami's pulse again, desperate for some kind of connection that Yami couldn't completely severe. His pulse was slowing beneath his fingers, startling him enough to draw his attention towards them but a snicker made his eyes snap back towards the taller teen, blinking several times as he realized that Yami was playing with him, making his pulse slow as it had. Dear god, Yami could control his own pulse…
"What else did they teach you in that stupid camp?" he spat angrily, denial of his own warped happiness making his frustration spike to new heights. Yami merely smirked in response, daring him to do something more, and Yugi narrowed his eyes before smirking back, pressing their hips together and sliding his body against his in gentle strokes.
Yami bit back the moans, raw and desperate, that crept towards his throat but did not kill them completely, the sound like a curious mixture of a purr with the edge of a croak. Yugi honestly had to congratulate himself and feel proud that he had not given in to the urge of hissing at him as his body gripped him like a vice as he pressed into him without warning; any other time he had done this and Yami would have lashed out angrily because of lack of preparation but they had just finished only thirty minutes before so it did not hurt him in the least, his body accepting him without prompt.
But still, Yugi gave no answer, and the raw ache in his eyes was dangerous on his face.
Yami's eyes shut after a moment and Yugi hissed at the sensation of losing the intense gaze, the only thing that seemed even slightly emotional as he pressed against him, growling, "Look at me" with a hint of steel to his voice and expression; the glimmer that Yami's eyes gave off when he opened his was too intense so he finally just looked away again, feeling stupid for thinking that Yami had closed his eyes for any other reason than to spare him.
The smaller one was terribly confused by the emotions that made his blood run as it did, but they were dark and dangerous and deep. "Yami, you areherewith me and this ishappening," he announced heatedly, turning back and watching the red gaze narrow into slits as he released his wrist to touch where his ribs had been broken, laying his palm flat against his skin and studying him. He drew himself up onto both knees and locked Yami's legs around his waist without missing a single motion, his thrusts deep and burning with the frantic edge of his desperation.
Yugi's lips drew into a wide lopsided smirk as Yami's eyes slid shut after a moment, loving the way that he let out a low moan with each of this thrusts before suddenly his eyes popped open to stare at him in pure confusion, the lost expression making his body feel smug as his lips curled into a small smirk.
"Something wrong?"
"Son of a bitch," he hissed in annoyance, his tone bordering a snarl. "Stop teasing me."
Yugi snickered in delight before sliding his arms under his waist and holding him like that, his fingers dancing over his tailbone for a moment before sinking his nails into his soft flesh, eliciting a small growl mixed with a purr at the terrible mix of pleasure and pain. "No thank you, Yami, I think I like having my way with you like this." Yami opened his mouth to snarl and snap at him but only let out a moan when Yugi slid his hand from his lower back to his pelvis to travel the dip of his bellybutton to his chest where he pressed his fingers momentarily against his heart before touching the pulse in his neck. Still it did not jump but for a second he could see into his eyes and the fleeting second of being connected sent his heart into overdrive. "I'm a very difficult person, Yami. And if we're being honest, youknowI am yours to deal with."
Yami's eyes clouded over momentarily, confused for a split second before his gaze grew wide, blinking several times as realization settled deep in his bones and left him staring despite the way his body reacted readily to Yugi's stimulations.
"You know, Yami, it damn well feels like you might be mine right about now," Yugi snickered, his lips drawing into a wide smile, though his teasing dampened when Yami stared at him with eyes that seemed blind for a split second. "Do you feel it?"
The red eyes grew shadowed, darkened beneath the slight shadow of his lashes as a poignant sorrow flickered into them and left his blood boiling with rage.
"Don't look at me like that!" he snapped, desperation making his voice that much harsher. "Don'teverlook at me like that!"
Yami hissed and writhed helplessly as he sank his nails into the small of his back, his pace growing that much more frantic with his outburst, as if he was scared he would make the taller teen withdraw completely.
"It feels like home…right?" he said under his breath, the question almost rhetorical in the way it never reached Yami's ears, fingers trailing up and down his collarbone before a single index tapped the skin over his heart, feeling his pulse flutter even in that small bit of contact, the answer Yami refused to voice in fear of feeling himself break into a million pieces.
The smaller teen smiled a little, a victorious light glinting in his wide blue-violet eyes, but he didn't push for a moment, instead watching him even as Yami's eyes flickered away and drew solace from the white of the counter to Yugi's left.
"Do you ever think about me more than just this?" Yugi questioned, feeling the soft fleece of the blanket beneath them grow that much warmer with the heavy implications of his own words; at least if he fell that much harder after all of this, he would land on something soft and warm and fuzzy enough to give the illusion of safety.
Yami remained silent for a while, long after the friction stopped and his body protested its desperation for his prostate to be happily played with, instead watching him with calculating eyes. "Yugi, tell me. What does my voice sound like to you?"
It was a strange question by all means but he understood it. Slowly, as his mind crept over the words and nurtured them mentally, seeking an answer to the odd inquiry, he understood it.
"Uh-uh Yami. I asked you first. Answer me first," he replied smoothly.
Yami held eye contact with him, did not bother to speak for a long time, and then finally growled, "Yes, yes, of course I fucking do, Yugi. I've thought of it a million times when I am alone. Outside of sex."
Yugi struggled to prevent the trembles that threatened to take him over, wrapping his arms lazily around the taller boy's waist and forcing himself to move in small leisurely strokes inside of the other teen. Yami reached out for his shoulders, twisted his body to pull himself up, and then glared into his eyes in response, breathing hard against his lips from behind his bared teeth.
Yugi found himself digging his fingers into Yami's side, desperate for that connection that was still lacking, wishing for a moment that he could reach inside of him and draw it forth again; his eyes took in the way that Yami's closed slowly, frustrated beyond his wit's end. "How's that, Yami?" he inquired mockingly, tilting him back slightly to change the angle of his thrusts and increase the friction they both craved.
Yami hissed at him but refused to open his eyes as he bit out the words, "Answer the question, Yugi. What does my voice sound like?"
The smaller boy frowned slightly, his mind biting at his thoughts in sharp nips of desperation at being denied his much needed emotional link with the other teen, but answered regardless, drawing in a small breath. "You…you're afraid," he answered in a ragged voice, feeling his skin twitch and quiver beneath his palms, the way his hips twisted under him as nails dug into his shoulders and he lowered Yami onto his back once more, no longer sitting back on his knees but stretching out over him again. "But you have no real reason to be afraid. I can guarantee you that much…Yami, you…you sound like…you're shaking inside."
Red eyes flickered open, startled, and pupils contracted to take up most of what should have been iris, a moan hissing out as darkness surged into blood; Yugi watched as those eyes grew desperate, staring at him and refusing to budge to look anywhere else.
"Most of time your voice comes out strong and clear, self-assured and confident, but when you're scared…it comes out unsure and broken and so soft that I can barely hear you…"
Yami blinked once and then narrowed his eyes into slits, the shadows making his eyes turn completely black but one small ring of red that made Yugi's skin crawl.
"You're afraid I'm not going to need you anymore," he said softly to himself, his voice barely loud enough to carry over his harsh pants, watching as a single golden-bronze hand reached out to gain purchase against the door of the shower, palm flat and pressed hard against the frosted glass to help him thrust back into him, those desperate red eyes not once leaving his. "You're worrying that once high school doesn't hold us here, that once we get older, I won't need you anymore."
When teeth nipped his neck, he arched back over his arms and let out a growl, both of them falling over the edge; Yugi collapsed against him and breathed hard while Yami stared blankly up at the ceiling, trying in vain to catch his breath. It was only when he gradually opened his eyes that a dagger of discomfort stabbed its way through his consciousness as Yami stared back at him with a completely expressionless glass to cover his eyes.
"What?" Yugi sought his memory for what he could have possibly said wrong as he stared into blank red eyes.
"What did you just say?"
It was strange. An insidious sickness that bordered on a past life that was parallel to his, something like a note or thought being passed from one to the next through the walls of his subconscious, his heart beating at three times its normal rate as the crash of his high came abruptly and his mind spiraled, his body growing so stiff, his muscles locked to the point that he could no longer move and his breathing came out in strained exhales, that Yugi had to pull away.
"What?" he repeated. "You asked me and I told you. It's true. I don't know what you wanted to hear, but I gave you what you asked for. I gave you the truth…"
Yami remained completely still, searching his eyes, and Yugi felt faintly annoyed that he had given Yami the answer he wanted only to be stared at like this; he recoiled when suddenly Yami sank his nails into his back and dragged up lines across his flesh, making him yelp in pain. The taller boy moved away from him so fast he almost didn't catch the movement and vaguely his mind questioned how Yami could possibly have that much energy as it was, especially when he started grabbing clothes and pulling them on–semi-out-of-order as he had to pull his pants off again when he realized that he didn't have his boxers on yet–before fleeing so fast it gave him whiplash.
He nearly fell over, overpowered by the stress that crowded into his mind, his head racing with thoughts as he realized belatedly that the Puzzle was still in the bathroom; his fingers trembled with the force of the knowledge, feeling sick to his stomach with the idea of having to face Yugi again so soon. But he did it anyways, throwing his fear aside to snatch it off the ground and feeling heat like flames course up his entire arm and then stir and flicker across the rest of his body before his insides started to grow warm as opposed to the cold fear they had been frozen in.
His attention flickered to the piece of gold in his hand, startled by the sensation, and narrowed his eyes as he drew the Puzzle into both hands, looking it over and feeling the edges burn sharply into his fingers, almost to the point that welts should have formed on the pads of his fingers and pain should have been prominent in the forefront of his mind. But instead, the heat was reassuring and did nothing to harm him.
His crazed mind was slowing, almost unnoticeably at first but picking up in pace…
They were flipping through his mind like a playing card, King of Clubs, the conqueror…such strange words that made him feel hollow and even worse inside, his entirely body shaking with the startling severity of the statement.
But what was the significance of it all?
Staring at the Eye of Wadjet, it very slowly came to place in fragments.
Yugi had said it. But not in those exact words.
Red eyes flickered towards him and stared for a long minute.
Without those exact words…
Blue-violet eyes regarded him, slightly irritated, but mostly confused, somewhat desperate but more concerned…
Yami turned and, recognizing his cowardice and the way the Puzzle turned cold in his fingers at the thought, fled.

Yami scratched desperately at the memory, feeling as if something was going to slide through, away, and leave him behind. He could taste it, smell it, feel it, and if he only stretched his hands out, he could grasp it and draw it to him, inside of him, where it would become more prominent than the beating of his own heart. His dark crimson eyes shut tightly, willing himself to relive it, his nails scraping at the dark blue and black and red beneath his fingers that made up a larger pattern…oh so much larger…
He could feel it, feel icy fingers tugging softly at his skin and the way that it made his insides flutter. Mist dewing on his cheekbones and lashes, the cold stone beneath him, the gray arctic air of midnight overhead and around and everywhere.
He could taste warmth and vanilla and caramel and cinnamon, the promise of fate in his mouth.
Tilting forward onto his hands, balanced on some fine edge, he could find a strange balance that was lilted and uneven, but gave him the opportunity to drown in the burn of his kiss, his head spinning with the acute recollection, his defenses crumbling away into the fog and plants beneath.
In the darkness, the movements of his mouth against his made him imagine he was confessing his darkest encrypted secrets to the red-eyed boy.
The memory did not match the actual event that transpired but if he was truthful with himself, he preferred this twisted version, the one that had not happened in the woods but rather the bathroom, than the actual one. He didn't want to remember the pillow against the back of his head scooting forward or Yugi's restraining grip, his hand reaching for the frosted glass door.
No, he preferred the darkness of the night, the clear shot of stars and clouds and the full moon overhead if he had only bothered to open his eyes and take it in, the feel of the rock scratching his skin, the nip of the cold air against his skin and infiltrating his burning lungs.
But the fact remained, no matter how he twisted the details of his memories to suit what he wished, because at least the pretense of the forest scene relaxed him more than the reality of the bathroom, and that fact was rather simple but complicated all in itself.
Yugi had said it…
Not in so many words, but he had said it…

I love you so much, too much. I ache because of it. I can't live without you. But I…I can't see how I can keep you…
Yugi looked over as if he had been called by name, locking eyes with him momentarily before the taller teen got up and went to the teacher, talking softly before grabbing his things and leaving the room.
He wondered again, not for the first time and he knew it certainly would not be the last, when Rebecca was going to take his place. And, like all those other times, he wished he could find the strength to fight but the battle would never be won and he didn't have the energy to waste trying to conquer a losing quarrel.
Because, when it came down to it, Yami knew in his heart he was going to lose.
In the event of Yugi against Yami, he always lost.

"Yami?"
"Mm?" he murmured tiredly before yawning and snapping his jaws loudly to cut the noise off, huffing gently as his eyes drifted, weighed down with his abruptly ended sleep, towards the clock to regard the numbers with irritation. "Yugi? What's…? Fuck, it's six in the morning."
"Grandpa…he…"
The sobbing choke of tears made Yami sit up, wide awake and alarmed and ready for bad news. "Where are you?"
"The hospital."
"I'll be there in ten minutes. Just wait for me, okay?"
"…Yeah…okay…"
It took twelve minutes instead of ten but Yugi didn't penalize him for the extra two because he was just happy Yami even came.
He didn't do the usual of asking how he was and he didn't just grab him up in his arms either, instead looking at him, waiting for him to say something, to acknowledge him, tell him what to do rather than assume anything.
For a moment Yugi hesitated because he himself didn't know what to do nor what he wanted, just that he needed someone with him, and it was rather obvious when he bit his lip once and then shot forward to hug him tightly, his fingers grabbing at the back of his leather jacket and bunching it up.
He wasn't crying anymore, because when Yami had said he would be there, he had felt safe enough to stop. He had felt safe enough to just wait for him. And that was more than he could have ever said for anyone else.
Yami rubbed his back but didn't say anything to him, instead asking one of the nurses for Solomon Motou's status, told from their lips rather than his that the elderly Motou had gotten a heart attack in the middle of the night and Yugi had just barely gotten to the phone in time to prevent his death.
He was stable but he hadn't woken up.
Someone at the desk gave him sympathetic looks that clearly said they didn't think he would.
But Yami had a gut feeling that he would pull through, because the old man seemed like a natural survivor. And at only sixty years of age that was a lot less of the time that Yami saw him alive for. No, Solomon was going to be fine.
He recognized it in him.
Even if they only met twice and Yami had been scared shitless because he recognized him, he knew for a fact that Solomon was going to wake up again and he was going to be there for Yugi afterwards for a long while yet.
So he didn't bother acknowledging the nurses, instead shooting them dark looks before turning away again, and then pushed Yugi away gently by the shoulders, offering a small smile when he said, "Thank you for calling me" in a soft voice.
"I…I didn't know who else to call," he muttered weakly, fingers shaking against his back. "I…I would have called Rebecca b-but…o-or T-Tea or Joey or T-Tristan but…"
Yami understood the statement behind it. He was the first Yugi thought to call. And he was the only one he knew for sure who would be there as soon as possible and ready to help him in any way he needed.
"Come on, let's get you home, okay?"
Yugi glanced over at where his grandfather had disappeared down the hallway and then turned back with a tired nod; he wondered vaguely why Yami had taken a taxi instead of driving himself but then remembered that he had never seen Yami drive before and the possibility that he didn't knowhowcrossed his mind. But he didn't ask anyways because it would have been too much for his tired mind.
Yugi brushed his teeth in silence, giving his face a cursory splash of cold water while the house seemed to throb with silent grief for the missing member in the hospital; Yami remained behind him the entire time, leaning against the doorframe and being nice enough to give the smaller teen space while reassuring him of his presence.
The blue-violet-eyed boy faltered when he caught his eye in passing in the reflection of the mirror when the taller boy glanced up to see if he was okay when he stilled like he did. For a moment neither of them moved and then Yugi slowly headed over to close the toilet lid and sit down, watching him with tired eyes.
"Ugh, I look like shit," Yami announced, walking over to the mirror and inspecting the harsh dark bags beneath his eyes, the way his hair seemed to droop, the way his pupils were dilated slightly, the way his posture seemed off with exhaustion. He wrinkled his nose at his reflection, muttering, "Did you fuck me while I looked like this?" and turned back to him with a teasing expression on his face.
Yugi offered a small tired half-smile, relieved that Yami was trying to lighten the mood by redirecting it towards himself, and shook his head slowly. "You don't look good enough to fuck right now," he joked, though the words came out strained but Yami didn't comment on that, instead giving him an overly offended glare and flipping him off playfully.
"I look better than you," he snapped in response, making Yugi let out a small laugh as he placed his hands on his hips, twisting his face into a sneer before winking and turning back to the sink, pressing his weight against the white wood and leaning forward, obviously losing himself in his head for a moment.
Yugi had a sneaking suspicion it was so that he could gather himself into being what he needed, so that he could bear the weight that Yugi had the potential of dropping on him, the weight that could possibly make his knees buckle and his legs give way beneath him. It was obvious that the stress of his grandfather as well as everything that had been happening recently was weighing him drastically and if he only pressed a little harder, he had no doubt that Yami would fold like a house of cards beneath it all.
No, responsibility looked good on him. But for the hundredth time he wondered if Yami was really serious in the way that he thought Yugi had chosen to love him back. Because he honestly wasn't sure he could ever do it.
Not at the moment anyways.
But how long would their relationship last–if he were to give it a chance–before he got bored of him?
Yugi was horribly confused when Yami started for the stairs, staring after him and croaking a weak "A-are you going?"
The taller teen froze on the steps and then turned around. "I need to lock the door," he murmured softly in explanation.
"Oh." Yugi pulled on his pajama shirt and wandered into his room, listening and breathing out a sigh of relief when he heard Yami's footsteps approaching as he came back up the stairs, standing in the doorway for a moment. When he stretched his arms out, the taller boy complied without hesitation, coming over to his side, laying down next to him under the covers that Yugi had pulled back when he started across the room towards him; in the darkness, beneath the skylight, where a waning sphere of silver hung, the two teens found themselves sinking into that small space between grief and comfort, desperation and mortality. The silence of this space was thick and overbearing, weighing them both down drastically, only to be broken away when Yugi let out a small gasp of air and moved closer to clutch at his shirt, burying his face into the fabric, his breaths fractured and weak but loud enough to make the other boy's ears ring with a sympathetic kind of pain. His long fingers danced up and down his spine in a soothing manner, gossamer touches rather than actually rubs, because pressing the weight of his hand against his back felt oddly wrong in that moment and Yami didn't truly understand why, but it did.
Yami had no idea if he would actually welcome the gentle weight of his touch, or retreat from him. For so long they had been on opposite sides of the mirror and now that he had climbed through to him, he had no way of telling if he could handle this without the pane of glass between them.
He was falling asleep, Yugi sobbing into his shirt first before moving to his neck as his fingers grew slower against his clothed skin, when he heard them. Soft, weak, choked, tired, a cry for help…Three words. Small words with huge implications. Words he would not be able to give an answer to should he say them out loud, face to face, instead of against his skin.
Stay with me…

"Are you all right?"
It was a weak stab at normalcy, and it was half ruined by the roughness of his own throat which made his voice raspy and broken. But he had to do it, because if he didn't speak now, he was somewhat afraid of what he might do, of what Yugi mightlethim, of what he couldn't bear to let himself have. He wasn't going to take advantage of him, though he knew that Yugi was willing to let him, would beg him to do so if he only gave him a hint of his want.
Yugi felt his lips twist up in a sardonic, reluctant half-assed smile as he dragged his eyes away from him with a visible effort, blinking and looking out the window as his gaze went from darkened, full of lust, to their regular blue-violet tone. A small, soft sigh like the whisper of the wind through the trees passed through his lips and Yami felt his body relax from where it had tensed in preparation to–Whathadhe planned to do? Jump Yugi's bones if he asked? Flee? Fight him off if he made an advance?
None of them made sense to him. He had been worried about his own actions, about unwittingly throwing himself at Yugi, but that was merely the stress talking and the fact that it would do nothing for Yugi at the end of the day. Fleeing would solve nothing; Solomon would still be in the hospital, Yugi would still be sad, and if he fled, he knew he would never be able to face the smaller boy again. It just wouldn't be possible, not after leaving him when it was so terribly obvious that he needed him, not after he hadaskedhim to stay; be it before he fell asleep or not, the words had still passed through his lips and Yami couldn't just disregard them because of his own selfish fears. Fighting off an advance when Yugi was so upset would just upset him more, so Yami truly had no idea what he intended to do.
"Thanks for…last night. I know it wasn't fun."
When he turned back to him, he looked completely sure of himself, not the least bit self-conscious, watching him; Yami had a split second where he wondered if maybe he had somehow imagined the way in which he clung to him, his body absorbing the smaller boy's tremors, the slide of his wet tears warming and trailing down his slender neck.
"I'm glad I was here." He watched Yugi for any sign of emotion but the smaller boy merely regarded him in return. "What can I do now? I could go downstairs…?"
"Yami, just being here is enough," he stated simply, letting out a small yawn that sounded more like a coo of a noise, soft and gentle in volume. "You don't have to do anything."
Yet his own body screamed for movement, for action, because if he didn't busy himself with something or other, he was going to drown and he knew that once he did that, he would never find his way back up to the surface again and his floundering in the chaos of his mind only did so much. "I could contribute–"
"You're always trying so fucking hard to prove how much you deserve things," he hissed softly, borderline spitting at the red-eyed teen. "Ever since I saw you the first time in ninth grade. You were always helping out and trying to be some kind of fucking fourteen-year-old butler. Quiet as all fuck, but always ready to jump in just because. Just fucking…stop. You don't need to. Not for me and not for anyone else. I don't know what the fuck your parents taught you, but you're welcome to stay here as much as you want. You don't have to fucking do anything around here. Just be here."With me.Stayhere.Don't run. Don't hide. And don't leave me.
Yami flinched and turned away, staring at the ground for a long time. "I just…I was taught to make myself useful. I have to be busy or else I'm wasting time…" He raised his right thumbnail to his lips and his teeth gnawed at it even as he spoke around it. "I…Fuck. I don't know what I'm supposed to do…"
"Youaredoing something, Yami. You're looking after me, remember?"
Yami offered a small smile even as pain laced through his finger from where he had torn the nail-bed open and it was now bleeding into his mouth. "You are a full time job," he murmured thoughtfully, teasingly.
"And you are hired. You're more than qualified anyways," he stated. Because he was. Yami could handle him where others would break and freak and run for the hills. Yami took him at his worst, at his best, and everything in between and he was still there.
He hadn't run. Yugi was literally counting his blessings. Because Yami had notrun.
He hadn't taken off in the middle of the night. He hadn't tried to sneak out despite waking up before him. He hadn't gotten out of bed. He hadn't even opened his eyes until he knew that Yugi had, instead opting for laying there with his eyes closed, peeking an eye open hesitantly before looking at him hesitantly, a clear sign that he would leave if he wanted but he would also stay if he only asked, that he was willing to do whatever Yugi needed him to. He hadn't even moved from his position all night of having their limbs tangled beneath the sheets when Yugi grew even sadder and needed more physical connection. When he had woken up after he snuggled into him and they had locked eyes for that split second, Yami hadn't tried to push him away, instead complying to wrap his arms around him and pull him that much closer.
Yami gave him a small smile and pulled his finger away from his mouth, ignoring the way that the air stung it.
Okay, this is okay,Yugi thought with a small swallow, anxiety biting at the edge of his consciousness, painfully aware that all it took was moving too fast and the other teen might scatter. Or maybe it was just his imagination, his fear of being left behind, that fed this thought to him, because if Yami had not pushed him away in the middle of the night, had not run off when he woke first, had done nothing to disrupt the joining of their limbs, then he didn't think he would run now.This is good. He is here and he is not pulling away.
"I'll put you to work at once. First item on the agenda…" He thought it over for a moment and watched as those red eyes studied him pointedly. "A good morning kiss."
"That's fucking unprofessional," he sneered, wrinkling his nose indignantly before smirking at him wolfishly. "I would suck as your nanny."
Yugi burst out laughing, the noise bubbling into Yami's mouth as their lips moved against each other for a moment before he pulled away again, looking down at his bleeding thumb thoughtfully; the smaller boy followed his line of sight and watched the blood escaping what should have been a peachy-pink nail bed that was now almost black with the liquid beneath.
"We…need to talk, Yugi."
"Well, here I am," he said softly, feeling sick to his stomach; if Yami was going to leave him…no, he shook the idea out of his head. He wouldn't. He had to believe that Yami wouldn't because otherwise he would break and he couldn't afford to break. "I am all yours. Let's talk."
The blood was oddly mesmerizing and sickening.
"Oh god, don't do that," he pleaded, distressed and feeling weak, his head spinning but his mind remaining focused on the sound of his desperate voice.
Yami looked up, confusion painting a mask over his features. "Do what?"
"I'm not stupid. I know what's going on right now, Yami. You're starting to do it. You're starting to doubt it all. Me. You. You're wondering if you made the right decision staying here last night."Don't pull away from me…
He wouldn't survive if he pulled away.
Yami stayed silent, studying him with dark bloody eyes, until finally, after a few long minutes, his mouth opened and his voice came out, cold in tone but mostly stressed out and tired with the sleepless nights his face spoke of. "This is complicated, Yugi. I have fucked up and I need time to think."
"So, what does that make me, Yami? Am I just some kind of stupid terrible mistake? You know something? I envy you."
"You envy me," he deadpanned, letting out a bark of dark humor. "Please explain to me the logic of that statement, Yugi, because I am drawing at a blank."
"You have the right to think this is complicated. You get the chance to see all of your actions, choices, options, consequences. You're looking at this as obligation versus self-preservation. For me, there really is no choice. There is onlyoneoption."And you're it…
"That's bullshit and you know it," he spat. "You are the one who kept pushing me away, kept saying that this was only for fun, that the attachment was stupid, that I was an idiot to love you and now you're over here acting clingy, like I might just be your fucking lifeline."
Yugi blinked wide eyes and opened his mouth, growing angry.
"You had to know that I wouldtry. Did you really think the distance I put between us wasjustbecause of stupid little Rebecca?" he sneered, curling his lips back; a load of good that distance did, considering he came crawling back like an abused dog wanting its master's affections, sleeping with him all the time but avoiding anything even slightly related to emotions, a constant shield up at all times, his mind cautious in all respects when he thought of answers to continue a conversation with the other boy. And that date with the blonde girl was not so far around the corner now… "Put yourself in my fucking place, Yugi. What ifyouhad to deal with all of these fuckers doing all of this bullshit to get your ass of a father back for something that had nothing to do with you in the first placewhilejuggling some kind of convoluted bullshit love-hate relationship…thing?"
"And who says that I haven't had to deal with this crap too?" Yugi barked. "If you don't remember, I am part of this love-hate relationshipthingas you put it. And I have had to deal with bullshit about how I'm the school slut and you saying that you love me too. Do you know how fucking messed up that is?"
And I'm just as fucking confused and lost as you are. You don't get the right to say that I'm not. Because if I wasn't, you sure as fuck would notbehere.
"Oh, the inconvenience. You didn't get disowned for being gay or anything like that. I hardly think you could even possibly hold a flame to the shit I am going through."
"Maybe not, but it's just as hard having people throwing microphones in my face as it is for you, Yami. And fuck if my grandfather's health is not good enough to be put up in the same amount of stress that you've accumulated," Yugi sneered at him, glaring into red eyes that went from being narrowed to widening drastically in response.
"I…I…" Yami stammered before slowly shaking his head and looking away. "I'm sorry. I just…I'm stressed."
"I know."
And he could handle him being stressed.
Because Yami just needed to vent and Yugi would happily let him.
It was what they did.