Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Stalking the Elusive ❯ Yami Gets Angsty Late At Night ( Prologue )

~Stalking the Elusive~

By DarkFoxy

***

I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! The characters in this story, or anything else that has been patented! If I did then I would be insanely rich, I definitely wouldn't need to be writing fanfictions, and the show would be a little different, heh heh heh. The only things I own are the ideas for this story and crap laying around my bedroom floor. So anyway, DON'T sue me because all you will get will be six fifty in loose change, my school supplies, and an enormous lawyer bill.

Prologue: Yami Gets Angsty Late at Night

I'm not really sure when it happened; but in reflection, I think it was there even before I separated my body from Yugi's. Actually, some might argue that this feeling began in the root of my existence, when I was in Ancient Egypt. Of course, I don't remember anything but small snatches of that, but I have it on good-well, somewhat good-authority, as in Ishizu, Bakura, and Malik, that my feelings were definitely present then as well. My trusting of these people that know more of my past than I do, if hazy at best, but I've learned to live with it. Ishizu, though she never lived through the actual experience, as Bakura and Malik have, has seen it with present day eyes through the magic of her Millennium Necklace, so perhaps I trust her the best. Bakura... though our relationship is far from friendly, something about the way he talks about this issue conveys to me a feeling that he cares a lot more than he lets on. Malik? Well, his yami is, frankly, crazy; however, now that he's realized that what happened in the past is truly not my fault, we are developing a fragile understanding of each other.

Oh! But I realize I haven't even revealed what it is that plagues my mind! No matter that these are but empty pages, manufactured for me to fill with frivolous thoughts, but supposedly the transfer of these thoughts to paper is supposed to ease the mind. Ah well, it was a gift from Yugi's grandfather, so I figured that my gratitude to him for taking me in was worth a shot at it... that and Yugi's blasted pestering. One just can't be angry at him. I ramble on again... at this rate, the book will be half full and nothing will have come of it but meaningless scrawl.

I once heard in English Class a quote: 'there's a fine line between love and hate,' and I believe that's when I realized what was happening to me. Yes... by now any educated being would know of what I speak. I've fallen in love with my own rival, in fact I've fallen head over heels for the guy... yes a guy. I've got it bad-and the object of my affections is the one and only Seto Kaiba.

I think I'll start by hashing over how this horrible predicament came about, that only seems fair. If I'm going to pour out my soul on paper, why not do it properly? When Yugi assembled the Millennium Puzzle and awakened me from my long repose in darkness, I instantly felt an affinity for the young man, and a will to protect him.

At first, I merely helped out in problems with bullies, but then one day I saw a card game through his eyes. I felt instantly attracted to it; moves, strategies, traps, bluffs all raced through my head in a matter of seconds, and although I had no memory of ever seeing it before, or knowing the rules (I later found out that it was an ancient game played in Egypt) I felt my knowledge well up in me and I took over control of Yugi's body. I won the game with ease, the cards seemed to flow to my fingers as I called for them, and I felt more satisfied than I had ever felt before. More and more, Yugi would call on me to help, or play for him in these duels, and my joy in them grew as well. Yugi himself was a great duelist, but for some reason I was extraordinary. I know I ramble on about this beginning, but it does have a point, I promise. You see, it led up to the first time I saw... him.

One day, now it seems so very long ago, I was called in to duel, and I could tell from my partner's emotions that a lot rode on the win. I absorbed the happenings of the past minutes and frowned at what I knew. I came into being on top of the dueling platform, and looked across the field and saw him for the first time. I managed to keep my expression in a hard smirk, but the sight of the other boy excited me, he was so breathtakingly beautiful.

The boy's hair was a rich mahogany color, strands of it sweeping over his forehead and covering his eyes, his skin was pearly and smooth, his figure lean and muscled, his features so perfect despite the smirk on those luscious looking lips, but then there were his eyes; gods, even it was only his eyes I could have swooned! The deep cerulean color shone out of an alabaster face, the color ranged from depths of sapphire to the color of the ocean leagues under the sea, you could get lost in those twin caverns of color. But even in this perfection, there was a glimmer of contamination; there was a stony glint in those eyes, a hooded darkness of his countenance that appealed to dark powers within me. Without testing I knew there was some dark aspect of the other boy that had control of him. Focusing on this enemy I commenced the duel.

I dueled not at my best that day, magic and trap cards seemed to lose my meaning as for the most part I threw out monsters in defense mode. Those captivating eyes had locked with mine, that in combination with his own skills, he had my knees feeling like jelly. In the back of my mind I could hear Yugi's worried thoughts and triumphant crows when I took down one of his monsters, but I barely paid heed.

In the end, I did win, and the look of surprise, denial, and defeat written across my opponents face twisted at my heart as I watched my Exodia obliterate his three Blue-Eyes White Dragons. The dark presence in the other's head was rearing it's head, clouding the beautiful face of the other boy, and my face hardened as I felt my own magic rising within me. Barely knowing how I was doing it, I cried out and banished the dark presence away from the handsome stranger, and looked grimly at the now clear face that stared emptily at me in confusion. I stared across at that beautiful boy, and suddenly I hated myself. I remembered everything that the self safe boy had done to my partner, his grandfather, and his friends, what a bastard he was! Why the hell couldn't I do anything but moon over his good looks? He was inconsiderate, he didn't deserve a second glance. The more I thought about what he had done the more my new found loathing grew as well. Part of it was disgust with the boy's actions, but most of it was on my part for forgetting all about it. Yugi took over again, and we left, but that was only the beginning.

My dealings with Seto Kaiba, it started out with attraction on my part, I didn't like to admit it since I knew what he had done to Yugi's grandpa... although I've often justified it in my mind since he had that dark influence in control of his mind. Upon later reflection, I denied myself the admittance to attraction because of the group's feelings against Kaiba. We thought him a cold hearted idiot, arrogant bastard is the phrase I believe Joey liked to use.

With each of my rival's acts my beliefs in this hardened. I hated Kaiba as much as the others did, he was a cruel figure who would bend people to his will. It got to the point where the mention of his name caused me to grimace and frown. My hatred grew at each passing encounter, I found myself thinking about his cold smirk and raging inside even when he was far from my presence. Whenever I saw him an incessant need to-well, piss him off arose. I needed to have his attention on me; 'look arrogant Mr. Kaiba, you can't keep your cool around me!' that type of thing. Later, it developed into an obsession, I had to match up to Kaiba every chance I got, had to make every meeting into a confrontation. In my free time I would think of him, and how I could find him and again draw his haughty stare.

Now that I'm looking back on everything I thought and did, I think that I was truly insane. When I say that it became an obsession, I hear a truer tone in that word than any other person. It was around that time, I had since gotten my own body through the slowly unfurling powers of the Millennium Puzzle, that I heard the quote by chance. Upon hearing those words, my entire world jumped.

I quite clearly remember sitting in my desk at English class staring at the chalkboard blankly; at those nine words as if they were made of fire. Yugi says that my mouth hung literally open, and I was oblivious to anything, including the tentative thoughts of him, the snores of Joy beside me, and even the reprimands of the English teacher who stood by my side all of five minutes before giving up and continuing the lesson. It turned out that I didn't move a muscle until the bell rang and the teacher erased the board. At that point, nearly half of the class was out the door, and I self consciously packed up my books and headed for the door, nearly last in line. I say nearly last, because there was a solitary figure in the back of the classroom, that took time to carefully fold up a laptop and put it away, causing himself to be last in line. I stood tensely as the figure came to stand slightly to my right and behind me, it was Seto Kaiba.

My heart raced as I was conscious of his tall frame and cold countenance, as the last of the other students squeezed through the doorway, I was so flustered that I tripped over my own foot and fell forwards, letting out a cry of surprise. Kaiba, probably taking advantage of my still shape had moved towards to door to pass through when I fell forward, so it was against the yielding chest of the other I fell.

We crashed into the wall beside the doorway, knocking the breath out of him. I stood there stunned, all my weight leaning into him, my face smashed into his front. I could smell him, a slightly musky sensation that made my eyelids flutter closed. His chest was warm and firm, the material of his shirt soft against my face, I held back a sigh as I remained in place. Then a shuddered breath on the part of the blue eyed boy jolted me back to my senses; my eyes snapped open and I leaned back, I looked up and into the confused eyes of the CEO and froze. For a second we remained in that position and I could almost see the bewildered wheels turning in the other boy's head, suddenly I realized I was still pressed up against him from toe to collar and I jumped away and fled out of the room without a word.

Once I was in the safety of the library, my next class period being a study hall, I folded my arms and flopped my head down upon them. In all outward appearance I was sleeping, but my mind was racing. Everything made sense in a sort of morbidly sick way; every move I had made ever since I had met that brunette idiot who I thought I had loved to hate. What better way to cover one's emotions when uncertain than to display ruthless hatred? I'd always needed to be in control and these feelings denied boundary, so what better way to cope than to deny them by expressing the opposite? The longer I knew Kaiba, the more intense my hatred had grown, or had it in fact been the other way? Why had I banished that dark presence from the boy's mind in our first meeting? Why had I strived to help his little brother along with Yugi? Why had I experienced an almost telepathic connection with said boy, feeling that he was alive when all facts pointed to his death? Why, when all hope had appeared lost in my duel with the Marik-controlled mime, had only the appearance of that certain CEO put new spirit in me and led me on to winning?

All along, my attraction to that brown haired genius had only progressed. I admired Kaiba's fierce loyalty to his brother, the soft side that appeared only when Mokuba was present. I admired his ability to cope with every dire situation, his determination, his will to succeed and drive to win. I loved look in his majestic blue eyes when he was plotting his next move in duel monsters. In short, I finally admitted to myself, I loved...him.

Well, after my harsh realization, I had yet to come to complete terms with it. I refused to reveal any of this to my friends, or even Yugi. When around my newly found object of affection, I became uptight and nervous. I exchanged quick nervous words with him, and followed his movements with my eyes, seeing the same bewilderment in him as I had the day in the classroom. I just couldn't face him, I couldn't face myself. After a week of this, Kaiba seemed to assume that I had lost what little sanity he had granted that I had, and chose to ignore me. I wasn't sure wether this was an improvement or not. Yugi and his friends were a little confused by my sudden replacement of hatred for tight lipped silence, but shrugged it off eventually since Kaiba would no longer try to antagonize me as I had to him.

Another two weeks passed as I slowly came to terms with my feelings. I began to act normal again with Yugi and my friends, for which they were happy, but my eyes always followed Kaiba's lanky form. I watched him perform simple tasks, marveling at the gentleness of his fingers when he chose to work on one of his latest inventions instead of listening to the teacher in class; fairly drooling whenever I saw him lean down to drink from the water fountain, seeing those lips gently open to capture the crystalline water, his blue eyes softened, and his hair falling over his eyes. Ra, I'm in love with every aspect of him.

All this culminates in my writing this of course. What am I to do? My obsession remains, but the basis has switched entirely. I never thought of myself as shy before, but for some reason the prospect of trying to initiate any type of relationship with Kaiba leaves me trembling with nervousness. I'm the King of Games, but my heart is as fragile as any other. I would like to just leave this, so I'll never be hurt, but then again, that course of action will only cause pain as well.

Oh well, I've been amazingly philosophical tonight, but I feel that I've written enough. Ra, it's past two in the morning now! This journal stuff is really much more therapeutic than I thought it would be, perhaps I'll continue after all. Great, I just remembered that I have Ancient History tomorrow, that class is a bore, we're currently on Ancient Egypt, and what is there that I don't already know? I wish I could just shake the teacher and make her take the subject more seriously, but then I've lived in it, so what's the use of paying attention anyway? Ah, perfect, I shall continue my entries in class.

Well, I'm tired. Does one say 'goodnight' to a book? I'm not sure, so I'll leave it at that.

***

Alright, I know that this is going to be a romance/humor fic, but the first chapter is a little angsty because late at night Yami tends to get 'philosophical.' Don't worry, he's not like that all the time, and don't expect him to always be decent at writing. All in all, this fic is compiled of only journal entries from Yami, but from the view point that he carries it with him EVERYWHERE so updates can be as frequent as every five minutes as well as every day. He is, after all, a teenager, so he's going to get bored in classes! I hope people like this, once again THE BEGINNING WILL BE PRETTY DIFFERENT FROM THE FIC! Please, please, please, PLEASE review, it would be great, and comments, suggestions are welcome! Oh yea, and I don't really know how Japanese schools are, so I'm kind of just basing it off of the English system... sorry.

Oh yea, before I forget. If any of you are reading Heart Behind Blue Eyes, I'm sorrysorrysorrySORRY, but I'm not quite finished the next chapter, it's having a hard time coming out. So it should show it's sorry face around her soon.

Preview! In chapter one Yami takes his journal with him to school, makes rude comments about his teachers, and is inspired by his nutty psychology teacher who wants them all to keep a running log (like a documentary on paper!) of one of their hobbies.