Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Stronger Than Before ❯ chapter17 ( Chapter 17 )

Stronger Than Before

by Dragondreamer and Yami Dragon

Disclaimer: We don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! If we did, we'd be rich. But we don't, so we're not.

Warning: This story contains shouenen-ai (guy/guy relationships) and yaoi (guys having sex with guys). It also contains coarse language and violence. If you don't like it, or become offended by such things, leave now! Don't bother flaming us, because we'll just laugh at you.

Note: /…/ Tristan's thoughts

[…] Joey's thoughts

{…} Seto's thoughts

[[…]]Yami's thoughts and mind link to Yugi

//…// Yugi's thoughts and mind link to Yami

`yak yak' (Artificial Intelligence) Sadie's voice

~*~*~*~*~

DD: So, we're all still alive after the hurricane.

YD: *groans* Speak for yourself, hikari!

Seto: Now that you're done One Way Street, are you ACTUALLY going to work on this one?

YD: Bite me, rich boy!

Tristan: I refuse to be held responsible for what happens in this chapter.

Joey: I am SO not taking the blame for it either!

~*~*~*~*~

It was mid afternoon before they got Joey home.

He had woken up in the early hours just after dawn in a lot of pain. The withdrawal was still causing him to have hallucinations and he alternately clung to Tristan and struggled to get away from him, thinking he was Keith.

After lightly sedating him, Master Kiotou had calmed him, managing, along with Bakura's help, to convince the blond that Keith was gone for good.

Tristan had spent a good hour with the herbalist, going over what ifs, ending up promising the old man he would contact him immediately if something happened. He had supplied Tristan with the necessary medication to help Joey through the night, saying he would be over early in the morning.

Yami and Yugi left for the game shop after deciding having everyone over would unnecessarily tire Joey.

Ryou would not be swayed from accompanying Joey and Bakura was intent on going as well, until his cell phone rang. Answering it, he excused himself from the room.

When he returned, his face was set, almost emotionless. He quickly kissed Ryou and told the others he'd be in touch and left without an explanation.

Ryou had simply shrugged when Seto questioned him, not even bothering to probe the link.

They were delayed another hour when Joey began throwing up. He passed out and they let him sleep until he woke up on his own, claiming to feel much better.

Tristan, Seto and Ryou had finally been able to get Joey in the car amid last minute instructions from Master Kiotou.

With a last word of thanks to the Kiotou's, Tristan had gotten into the back of the car, taking his trembling lover into his arms.

Now they were home.

Tristan unlocked the door and opened it, going in and allowing Ryou and Seto to help Joey into the house.

They got him settled on the couch and Joey lay back, feeling a little dizzy.

"How are you feeling, babe?" Tristan sat down on the edge of the couch.

"Not too bad." Joey smiled weakly. "Pain's starting to come back."

"It'll be a little while before you can take anything else." Ryou said, glancing at his watch.

Seto shifted uncomfortably. He didn't like the way Tristan was feeling. He wasn't sure how he could tell, but his best friend was barely holding it together.

Needing something to do, he picked up the paper bag they had brought from Master Kiotou's and took it into the kitchen. For the sake of being busy, he started a pot of coffee and then put on some water to make Ryou tea.

A few minutes later he went back into the living room to find Tristan and Joey talking quietly and Ryou curled up on the loveseat reading. The white haired man seemed content just to be in the same room with Joey.

"Here, Ryou." Seto handed him a large, steaming mug.

"Thanks." Ryou smiled up at him, accepting the tea and setting it on the table next to him before turning back to his book.

"Tris?" Seto interrupted the conversation on the couch. "Want some coffee?"

"No thanks, pal." Tristan immediately turned his attention back to Joey.

Seto went back into the kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee before joining Ryou.

"Everything okay, Seto?" Ryou looked up from his book.

"I don't know what to do with myself." Seto said quietly, running his hand through his hair. "I feel like I should be doing something to help out."

"Just being here with them is enough." Ryou assured him, reaching over to a pile of magazines and handing Seto one. "Here. Just kick back and relax."

Seto sighed and began flipping through the magazine, smiling a little when Ryou snuggled up to him, book in one hand, teacup in the other. He reminded Seto of Yugi…always wanting to cuddle.

Seto picked up his coffee, trying his best to tune out Tristan and Joey's low voices, wanting to give them a little privacy.

"How's your stomach?" Tristan took Joey's hand. "Can I get you anything?"

"I'm okay." Joey weakly squeezed the hand in his. "Feels good to be home."

"I'm glad you are. I was so afraid you'd never come back."

Joey's eyes filled with tears. "Do you really want me back? After everything I've done?"

"Of course I do, Joey. I love you. Just because you were gone doesn't mean that changed."

"I tried to come home, Tristan. But he wouldn't let me leave. Once I tried to leave while he was out but…but he caught me before I even got out of the building." Joey shivered. "He hit me so hard I couldn't get up for a couple of days."

"Shh…it's okay." Tristan reached out, pushing Joey's greasy hair off his face. "You're home now, baby."

Joey's eyes widened as his gaze fell on the scar on Tristan's arm, still red against his tanned skin. He grabbed the brunet's wrist, holding him still to get a better look.

He quickly took in the nature of the shallow cut and caught the hazel eyes. Everything clicked into place.

"Tristan! Why?!"

Seto and Ryou looked up at the sound of Joey's raised voice and exchanged a quick glance, deciding by mutual, unspoken communication not to interfere.

"Don't." Tristan grated out, jerking his arm from Joey's grasp and turning away from the blond's shocked look.

He felt tears stinging his eyes and he fought them back, but not before one escaped to track a lone trail down his face.

"Tristan…" Joey's voice dropped to a whisper as he reached up to trace one finger down the wet path. "You…you're crying?"

Tristan flinched away from the gentle touch, standing and quickly leaving the room. A few seconds later the three remaining heard the back door slam with barely controlled violence.

Joey tried to rise from the couch, falling back with a groan of pain as his entire body protested the movement.

Ryou was instantly at his side. "Joey, lay back."

"What happened? Ryou, please…tell me what happened."

Seto hesitated a minute and Ryou looked over his shoulder, nodding.

"Go." Ryou moved up onto the couch, putting his arms around Joey. "I've got it under control here."

Seto spun around, heading through the kitchen and out to the patio at the back of the house. He found Tristan leaning on the railing, looking out over the back yard.

"You okay, buddy?" Seto asked, assuming a similar posture next to the shorter man.

"Leave me the hell alone."

Seto raised an eyebrow. "Don't get bitchy with me, Tris. I only want to help."

"You can't help me with this." Tristan said quietly, a hitch in his voice.

"Maybe if you told me what was wrong, I could."

"What am I supposed to tell him?" Tristan met Seto's eyes, his look devastated. "How can I tell him I gave up hope? That I was so weak I chose death over living without him?"

Seto straightened, reaching out and pulling Tristan against him, wrapping his arms tightly around him. "Tristan, you're not weak…"

"I am." Tristan interrupted, pressing as close to Seto as he could get. "A day hasn't gone by since all this started that I don't end up clinging to you."

"That's what I'm here for." Seto leaned back, and when Tristan looked up, he kissed him gently.

Tears spilled down Tristan's face and he buried his face in Seto's chest.

"You know, Tris, it's not right that I'm the only one that sees you cry. It's not going to kill Joey if you break down in front of him."

"I can't. Not now. He needs me to be strong for him."

"Put you're pride aside for a minute, would you? I think it would do him some good."

"I don't want him feeling guilty, Seto." Tristan pulled away, wiping his eyes. "He has enough to deal with."

"Don't be stupid." A note of irritation crept into Seto's voice. "He's going to feel guilty anyway. He already is. Come on, Tris. Think about it. He's doubting himself…and the fact that you really want him back. If you DON'T show him you're hurting, he's going to think you're doing it out of pity."

Tristan didn't respond, but Seto could see the wheels turning. He knew that if Tristan could just see past his stubborn pride, he would realize he was going about it all wrong.

"Go home, pal." Tristan looked him in the eye. "Take Ryou and go. Joey and I need to be alone."

"Easier said than done. Ryou's not going to want to leave."

"I know, but he has to." Tristan leaned up and gave Seto a quick kiss. "Thanks for talking some sense into me."

"No problem." Seto smiled. "Let's go back inside."

"You go on. Give me a minute to pull it together." Tristan pulled out his ever present pack of cigarettes.

Seto rolled his eyes.

"Bite me." Tristan smirked.

"That's more like it." Seto grinned, turning to go back into the house.

"Don't know what I'd do without you, pal." Tristan said quietly as the door closed behind Seto.

~*~*~*~*~

It took twenty minutes of arguing, but Seto had finally convinced Ryou to come with him, leaving Tristan and Joey alone.

"How's the pain?" Tristan asked, sitting back down on the couch and drawing Joey into his arms.

"It hurts. Feels like all my joints are dislocating."

"Let's get you something for it." Tristan stood, drawing Joey with him. "I can make you something to eat too."

Joey shook his head. "I can't eat."

"You need to eat, Joey."

Joey pulled away from Tristan with a whimper, backing up, his eyes wide and scared.

"Joey?" Tristan reached out for him. "What's wrong?"

I'm sorry. I just…I can't eat. Please don't be mad."

"Baby…hush." Tristan slowly approached him, keeping his voice low. "I'm not mad. I'd like to see you eat something, but if you can't that's okay."

He watched as Joey wavered between backing away further and going to the comfort of Tristan's outstretched arms.

The need for comfort won out and he threw himself at Tristan, biting back a sob.

"Tell me." Tristan whispered, holding him gently.

"It's just…one time I didn't want to eat and…and Keith got mad and hit me."

Tristan tightened his grip on the trembling blond. "I'm not Keith. I'm not mad at you and I'm not going to hit you."

"I know." Joey sighed. "I just keep getting confused. It's like I don't know where I am half the time."

"It'll get better, love." Tristan untangled himself and took Joey's hand. "Come on. Come into the kitchen with me."

Joey let Tristan lead him into the kitchen and stood, shivering, as Tristan went to the bag Seto had placed on the counter.

Wanting to help, Joey opened the cupboard and tool out a glass. His arm jerked suddenly and he dropped it. It hit the floor and shattered, small shards spreading out in an arc around the blond.

Tristan turned around at the sound of the glass breaking. "Don't move!"

He quickly moved around the table and came up behind Joey, picking him up under the arms and lifting him out of the sharp debris.

"Are you okay?" Tristan set him down and turned him around. "Did you cut yourself?"

Joey shook his head. "Sorry, I just wanted to help."

"It's okay, babe." Tristan dropped a kiss on Joey's forehead. "Listen…can you make it upstairs?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Go lie down and I'll bring you your medicine after I clean this up. Then maybe we can get you into the shower." Tristan ran his fingers through Joey's tangled hair.

"I'd like that." Joey pulled away. "I don't know if I can lie down though. Where's the bag we brought back? I'll unpack it."

Tristan bit back a protest. Babying Joey wasn't going to help him.

"It's at the bottom of the stairs. Just do what you can. I won't be long." He gave Joey another kiss and moved away from him.

Joey smiled a little before turning and leaving the kitchen.

He found the bag where Tristan said it would be and picked it up, starting up the stairs. By the time he got to the top, he was sweating heavily and his body was screaming at him to lie down. Not wanting to give in, he walked into the bedroom and dropped the bag on the bed. Taking a look around, a sob rose in his throat, nearly choking him.

[It's kinda hard to believe I'm really here. Tristan's just downstairs. If I call him, he'll come running. He still loves me. He loves me so much he couldn't live without me. Ryou told me he saw me with someone else and that's why he tried to kill himself. I can't believe he'd do that.]

Joey tossed his and Tristan's clothes into the hamper and went back into the bag, digging into the bottom. His fingers came into contact with soft, supple leather. He pulled the object out. His eyes widened and filled with tears when he saw it was the black leather plants that Keith had bought him.

Something inside him snapped and he tore open the bedside table drawer and pulled out a pair of sharp scissors he had always kept there.

Not even thinking, he began to cut into the pants, letting the small, decimated pieces fall to the floor. He threw the destroyed garment in the floor and left the room, heading for the bathroom.

He was sure he was going to be sick.

He stood at the sink, clutching the counter, fighting back the nausea. He lifted his head and stared at his reflection. His eyes were dull, sunken, and had dark circles under them, his face was bruised and thin and his hair hung in greasy, matted strands around his face.

Joey reached back and grabbed a handful of his long hair, bringing it over his shoulder. He still had the scissors in his hand and he raised them.

"How can he love me like this?"

~*~*~*~*~

"Joey?" Tristan stepped into the bedroom, a small glass in his hand.

His eyes went immediately to the leather scraps on the floor and he frowned.

He was about to call out to Joey again when he heard a muffled sob come from down the hallway.

He walked into the bathroom just in time to see Joey cut through the hair he held in his hand. Another sob escaped the blond and he dropped the scissors in the sink with a clatter.

Tristan came up behind him, setting the glass down and, without a word, picked up the scissors and finished cutting Joey's hair, evening it out to just below his shoulder blades. He tossed it in the garbage and turned to find Joey watching him in the mirror.

"Do you want it shorter?"

Joey just shook his head and picked up the glass Tristan had set down, downing it's contents.

"Well, let's get you in the shower then. Do you need some help getting undressed?"

Joey shook his head again and pulled his shirt over his head.

Tristan turned away to turn on the shower, a little unnerved by Joey's sudden quiet. When he turned back around, he found Joey had undressed and seemed to be waiting for Tristan to say something.

"Oh, baby…" Tristan's eyes filled with tears and this time he let them fall.

Cuts and bruises aside; Tristan had seen Joey worse; he was painfully thin, looking almost emaciated.

Joey's expression flickered slightly at the sight of Tristan's tears, but it seemed like he wasn't quite there. There was something in his eyes Tristan couldn't place.

"Joey, it's okay. You're going to get better." Tristan held out his hand, relieved when Joey took it.

He drew the blond to him. "Can you handle it yourself, or do you want me to get in with you?"

"Up to you." Joey mumbled, shrugging.

"Alright then, come on." Tristan helped Joey into the shower before quickly stripping off his own clothes and getting in with him.

He put his arms around Joey, noting the minute trembling and isolated twitches the shorter man was plagued with.

"Please talk to me, Joey."

Joey buried his face in the other's chest. "Do you…do you really love me?"

"Joey…of course I do! How many times do I have to say it before you'll believe me?"

Joey moved back and looked up at Tristan, blinking the spray of water from his eyes. "Please…kiss me."

Tristan reached up and cupped Joey's face in his hands, searching his eyes for a moment before leaning down to softly press their lips together. Joey's immediately parted under the tender onslaught and Tristan delved in, sighing at the familiar taste of the man in his arms.

Joey pressed himself close as the kiss ended. "I love you, Tris. I love you so much."

"I love you too, babe." Tristan picked up a bottle of shampoo. "Let's get your hair washed."

Joey stood quietly, trying to control his trembling, just enjoying the feeling of Tristan's hands in his hair. It took three washings to get it clean.

"If you're feeling up to it, we can go out tomorrow and get your hair cut shorter." Tristan said, working conditioner into the tangles of Joey's hair.

"S'ok." Joey leaned into the spray, letting Tristan rinse his hair. "I kinda like it long. I just…I don't know why I cut it."

"I understand." Tristan dropped a kiss on the top of Joey's head. "We'll just get it tidied up then."

Joey nodded, sighing in contentment as Tristan soaped up a washcloth and began washing him. He couldn't really remember when he had last had a shower. All that had mattered was his next fix.

[Tristan's being so good to me. I really missed our showers together. He's so gentle…not like Keith. What did I do to deserve this? I really don't. I really should show him how much I appreciate all this.]

Tristan finished rinsing the soap from Joey's thin form, stifling a moan as the blond moved up against him. His body was starting to react to the feel of Joey's warm, wet skin against his own and he struggled to keep it in check.

Joey wrapped his arms around Tristan's neck, rubbing against him, smiling at the feeling of the brunet's growing arousal pressing against his stomach.

"Joey…don't…" Tristan's groan of protest was cut off as Joey pulled him down and kissed him.

Tristan couldn't help responding, kissing Joey back hungrily, his hands going to the blond's hips and pressing him closer. /This has to stop. We can't do this…not now…/

"Joey, stop." Tristan pushed away.

"It's okay, Tristan." Joey looked up at him with pain glazed eyes. "You can fuck me if you want to."

"Joey!" All the desire fled Tristan's body at the other's words.

"But you're being so good to me. I just want to show you that it means a lot, what you're doing." Joey's eyes filled with tears. "Don't you want me?"

"It's not that." Tristan pulled Joey to him again. "I'd never just fuck you, Joey. You deserve better than that. I'd love nothing more than to make love to you right now, but you're not well."

"But…"

"No, babe. I mean it." Tristan looked into Joey's eyes. "You're still in a lot of pain, I can see it. Let's get dried off and I'll tuck you into bed."

"Our bed?"

"Of course our bed." Tristan stroked Joey's cheek. "I don't want you anywhere else."

Joey whimpered softly, burrowing into Tristan's chest. Tristan held him tightly for a moment before gently untangling the blond from him and shutting off the water.

He quickly got them out of the shower and dried off, toweling Joey's hair almost dry. He grabbed a brush and took Joey's hand, leading him into their bedroom.

Once there, he helped Joey into a pair of flannel pajama pants. He pulled on a pair of sweatpants and grabbed a small garbage can to begin cleaning up the scraps of leather littering the floor.

"Sorry about the mess." Joey flushed guiltily.

"Don't worry about it." Tristan finished what he was doing and sat down next to Joey. "Let me get the tangles out of your hair."

He began gently working the brush through the now clean golden locks, trying not to pull too hard. By the time he was through, it was dry and Joey looked half asleep.

"Better, love?"

"Yeah." Joey lay down, pulling the covers over his shoulders. "I'm still hurting though. The medicine isn't working very well."

Tristan frowned. "I'll have to call Master Kiotou."

"I think I'll be okay. Will you lay down with me…please?"

His voice was so pitiful, so pleading; it was all Tristan could do not to cry. He lay down next to the blond, putting his arm around him.

"Gods, Tris…it hurts."

"I know, baby. It'll get better though."

Joey moved closer. "I don't know if I can do it."

"Of course you can. I'll be right here to help you."

Sad amber eyes locked with hazel. "Just like last time."

Tristan's answer was cut off as the phone rang. He debated not answering it, but something told him it was Seto…and it was important.

He reached over Joey and picked up the phone. "Yeah?"

:Tris, I know this is the worse time for this, but you have to come over to the office.:

"Why?"

:Bakura found Panik. He…well…convinced him to give us what we need to put a dent in this bitch.:

Tristan looked down at Joey. "I can't leave Joey here by himself."

:Ryou's on his way over with Lenny.:

"I don't know, Seto. I don't want to leave him." Tristan was torn between staying with Joey and putting an end to what had been the cause of half their problems. "Hang on."

"What's wrong?" Joey asked as Tristan covered the mouthpiece of the phone.

"We've got Panik. He's going to give up the Adams woman."

"And Seto thinks you should be there, right?"

Tristan nodded. "But I don't want to leave you. Ryou's already on his way here with Lenny."

"I won't have to be alone then."

"Joey…"

Joey struggled to free an arm so he could reach up and cup Tristan's cheek. "Go, Tristan…please. Put an end to this. Then maybe we can get on with our lives."

"Are you sure?" Tristan searched Joey's eyes.

"Yes. I want you to do this…for us."

Tristan put the phone back to his ear. "I'll leave as soon as Ryou shows up."

:Sounds good. Joey'll be fine with Ryou and Lenny. Let's get this over with.:

"I hear ya, pal. I'll see you in a bit."

~*~*~*~*~

Ryou entered the house ten minutes later and, instructing Lenny to stay downstairs, made his way to Tristan and Joey's bedroom.

Quietly opening the door, he stuck his head in and found Tristan sitting, dressed to go, on the bed with Joey sleeping in his arms.

"How is he?" Ryou asked softly as he came to sit on the edge of the bed, rubbing Joey's leg.

"I think he's asleep." Tristan whispered. "It's hard to tell. The things he's been saying…he's all over the place."

"It's the withdrawal. He's confused."

"Yeah, I know." Tristan kissed the top of Joey's head. "Where's Lenny?"

"Downstairs. It's okay, Tristan. We can handle him." Ryou smiled reassuringly. "He'll probably just sleep."

Tristan sighed, easing Joey down on the bed and reluctantly rising. He tucked the covers more securely around the blond and brushed his hair back from his face.

"I'll be back as soon as I can, babe." Tristan bent down and gently kissed Joey before turning to leave the bedroom, taking Ryou with him.

~*~*~*~*~

Joey opened his eyes as the bedroom door closed.

It had felt so good to lie in Tristan's arms again, listening to his heartbeat and his soft, even breathing. But it didn't help the pain, or the nausea, or the fact that every muscle in his body was cramped and on fire.

There was only one thing that could stop it.

He lay still, hearing Tristan's car pull away from the house, knowing that Ryou would be in to check on him.

Sure enough, just a few minutes later, the bedroom door opened.

Joey lay as still as his body would allow him to, eyes closed, as he listened to Ryou's soft footfalls cross the room.

A cool, gentle hand was placed on his cheek and a pair of soft lips lighted briefly on his forehead.

"I'll take care of you, Joey. Sleep now."

Ryou left the room and Joey stayed where he was until he could hear the muted sound of the piano coming from downstairs.

[I can't do this. It hurts too much. I just can't do it.]

Joey rose from the bed and, as quickly as possible, changed, finding an old pair of sneakers in the back of the closet.

He moved to the bedroom window and opened it silently.

[I'm sorry, Tristan. I need it.]

He forced back the tears that threatened and slipped out the window, using the large tree there to make it to the ground.

[Marty'll help me. If I can get downtown and back before Tristan gets home, everything will be okay.]

He didn't have any money, but he forced from his mind the way he'd have to pay for what he needed.

He'd deal with that when the time came.

~*~*~*~*~

Joey: I TOLD you I'm not going to be responsible for this!!

YD: *shrugs* I was in a mood.

Seto: Take the woman's Tim Horton's coffee away for a few days and look at what happens.

DD: Really though.

Tristan: Please review. The next chapter is one the way.

Joey: I won't be held responsible for that one either!