Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Stronger Than Before ❯ chapter19 ( Chapter 19 )

Stronger Than Before

by Dragondreamer and Yami Dragon

Disclaimer: We don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! If we did, we'd be rich. But we don't, so we're not.

Warning: This story contains shouenen-ai (guy/guy relationships) and yaoi (guys having sex with guys). It also contains coarse language and violence. If you don't like it, or become offended by such things, leave now! Don't bother flaming us, because we'll just laugh at you.

Note: /…/ Tristan's thoughts

[…] Joey's thoughts

{…} Seto's thoughts

[[…]]Yami's thoughts and mind link to Yugi

//…// Yugi's thoughts and mind link to Yami

`yak yak' (Artificial Intelligence) Sadie's voice

~*~*~*~*~

DD: You're either going to need tissue, or frying pans for this chappie.

YD: Depending on you current mental state. *grabs frying pan*

Joey: Something tells me I'm in trouble.

YD: Always.

~*~*~*~*~

Joey hid a shiver as Tristan turned the car onto South Street.

Up ahead he could see the stand of trees where he was supposed to have met Marty two hours ago.

Half of him wanted nothing more than to keep driving, not giving in. Unfortunately the other half won out.

"Tris, I think I'm gonna be sick."

"Hold on, babe." Tristan quickly pulled the car over, stopping right where Joey wanted him to.

Joey already had his seatbelt off and he bolted out of the car, running for the woods.

"Joey!" Tristan called, cursing as he got hung up in his seatbelt.

Once out of sight of the street, Joey quickly scanned the area, seeing a strip of white cloth tied to a low bush. He bent over, parting the branches, and spied a small brown paper bag. He quickly grabbed it and stuffed it into the inside pocket of his jacket.

Spinning around, he hurried back the way he had come, meeting Tristan at the edge of the trees.

"You okay?" Tristan grabbed Joey by the shoulders.

"Yeah. False alarm." Joey smiled weakly. "Sorry."

"It's okay."

Once they were back in the car again, Joey looked down, trying to see if there was any way Tristan would be able to tell he had something in his pocket. Everything looked normal and he let out a sight, his head falling back against the headrest as his eyes closed.

"Tired?" Tristan asked, laying a hand on the blond's leg.

"Mmhmm."

"Try to get some sleep then. It's going to take us about an hour to get there."

"Okay." Joey settled more comfortably into his seat.

The warm, comforting weight of Tristan's hand did little to counteract the massive weight of the bag in his pocket. It felt like an anvil hanging around his neck, choking him.

[I don't have to take it. I'll keep it…just in case. The pain's not so bad, and I don't feel sick. Maybe this means it's coming out of my system. I'll just stash it away somewhere when we get there. That way I'll have it if I need it.]

His thoughts slowed down, eventually stopping altogether, as he fell into a deep sleep.

Tristan glanced over at Joey as the other man began to snore softly.

/I wish I could make it easier for him…take the pain away. It kills me to see him hurting so much. What's going to happen when the physical pain fades and he has to face himself?/ Tristan squeezed Joey's leg, tears coming to his eyes. /I love you, Joey. I don't care what the other's think. I'll take care of you. Seto was wrong this morning when he said I couldn't handle it by myself. We don't need anyone but each other. I'll see you through this, baby, I promise. I'll give up everything if I have to./

~*~*~*~*~

Joey woke up as the car came to a halt in front of the main residence of the Kaiba Corp. retreat.

He got out of the car, stepping away from the vehicle, looking around wide eyed.

"Wow." He craned his neck, looking up at the three story "cottage". "I can see why you like coming here."

"Yeah. It's a nice change from the city." Tristan pointed out the stables to the blond. "If you're feeling up to it, we can go for a ride later."

"I'd like that." Joey moved toward the steps, avoiding contact with Tristan.

The last thing he needed was Tristan finding out what he was carrying in his pocket.

Once inside, the butler greeted them politely and told them the main suite had been prepared for them.

Thanking the man, Tristan led Joey upstairs and down the hallway to the room in question.

Entering, Joey's eyes went immediately to the huge bed. He smirked. It was easily big enough for a half dozen people. Or one spiky haired bed hog and his two husbands.

Tristan dropped the bag containing his laptop on the nearby desk before laying their suitcase on the bed.

"I'll unpack our stuff, babe. Why don't you go out on the balcony and relax."

"Umm…okay." Joey began to take off his jacket but stopped, getting an idea. "Where's the bathroom?"

Tristan pointed to one of the two doors in the wall on his left. "The other one's the closet."

"Okay." Joey nodded. "Be right back."

Joey quickly entered the bathroom, stripping off his jacket. "Geeze, Seto. Are you trying to compensate for something, or what?"

The room was huge, as big as Tristan and Joey's bedroom at home. There was a monstrous shower with six showerheads and a four person Jacuzzi.

Shaking his head, Joey took the paper bag out of his pocket, dropping his jacket on the floor. Opening the bag, he found another one inside, this one of plastic.

"Bastard!" Joey hissed, looking at the contents.

Inside there was a single needle, and a glass vial with enough heroin for one shot.

[Damn it, Marty! You said one WEEK! Not one FIX! You fucking asshole!] Joey sighed, suddenly feeling tired again. [It doesn't matter. It's only just in case. I'm not really going to take it.]

Tears welled up in the bloodshot amber eyes. He knew he was lying to himself.

He went over to the toilet and lifted the tank lid, setting it aside. He put the sealed plastic bag in the water, watching with some small satisfaction as it sank.

Replacing the lid, he tensed as a small convulsion ran through him, causing him to drop it with a loud clink. He listened carefully. He could hear Tristan moving around the bedroom. He hadn't heard it. Joey sighed with relief.

[I should just flush it.]

Joey turned away, catching sight of himself in the mirror over the sink. Bloodshot eyes, sunken cheeks, his hair hanging limp around his pale face. He looked twice his age.

[Gods! What's happened to me?! What have I done to myself?!]

A sob wracked his body and he flew from the bathroom, startling Tristan who had just removed the suitcase from the bed. He dropped it just in time to grab Joey, who threw himself at the brunet, tumbling them back onto the bed.

"Joey! What's wrong?!" Tristan asked, worried as Joey began sobbing against his chest.

"Oh, gods, T-Tris…I…the mirror….I just….I'm…how can you…"

"Shh, baby." Tristan tried to calm the incoherent man. "Take a deep breath."

Tristan rolled over onto his side, wrapping his arms around his stricken lover. Joey buried his face in Tristan's neck, trying to control himself. He felt Tristan stroking his hair and it calmed him a little. What calmed him enough to talk, however, was the warm strength of Tristan's body against his own frail form.

"I-I just looked in the m-mirror. Gods! How can…can you w-want me like this?!"

"What are you talking about?" Tristan pulled Joey away from him enough so that he could see his face.

"I look…I look like a f-fucking corpse!"

"Oh, baby." Tristan stroked his fingers down Joey's cheek. "You do not."

"I do!" Joey insisted.

"Joey…love, listen to me. It doesn't matter. Once you get better, you'll put some weight back on."

"But, I…"

"No. I mean it. I love you, Joey. I don't care what you look like. I don't care if you're pale, or your hair is longer." Tristan placed his hand on Joey's chest, over his heart. "My Joey is here. The Joey I fell in love with is here. That hasn't changed."

With a small sob, Joey pulled Tristan into a deep kiss, full of love and desperation.

Tristan pulled the blond closer, one hand tangling in his hair, and responded passionately. He couldn't get enough of the feeling of Joey's lips against his own and he swore if he spent the rest of his doing nothing else but kissing the man in his arms it wouldn't be enough.

Joey broke their union to lay his head on Tristan's chest.

"Thank you." Joey whispered.

"For what?"

"For loving me. For taking me back."

"I'd rather be dead than be without you, Joey."

Joey winced, remembering the scar on Tristan's arm, and pressed closer. Tristan had made that point in spades.

"Better now?" Tristan asked, nuzzling his face in Joey's hair.

"Yeah." Joey lifted his head and pressed a quick kiss to Tristan's chin.

"Go out and sit on the balcony then. It's quite a view."

"Okay." Joey removed himself from Tristan's embrace and stood, turning toward the large glass doors.

He was stopped when a pair of strong arms wrapped around him from behind.

"I meant everything I said, love." Tristan said quietly. "Remember that."

"I will." Joey replied in equally low tones, feeling empty inside when Tristan let him go.

Tristan watched as Joey went outside, closing the door behind him.

He shook his head, going over to the desk and sitting down. He set up his computer and opened up his email. He didn't want Joey to know just yet what he was going to do.

Seto wasn't going to like it, but Tristan pushed the thought aside. Joey needed him.

/I'm sorry, Seto. I have to do this. Please understand./

~*~*~*~*~

"What the hell happened?" Seto glared coldly at the head of his security force. "How is it that someone managed to accost Ryou in the lobby of this very building?"

The man shifted in his spot in front of Seto's desk. "Master Kaiba…it happened so quickly, and I had my hands full with Bakura."

"There were six men on duty in the lobby. It only took four of you to hold Bakura back. Where were the other two?"

The man shuddered, remembering the insane strength of the white haired man whose eyes had spoken of murder.

"I'm waiting for your answer, Walters."

"They weren't at their posts, sir."

"Why not?" Seto's voice was as cold as his eyes.

"I don't know, sir." Walters answered honestly.

"Get out of my sight." Seto growled. "I should fire you right now…especially after you allowed Mokuba to be taken by surprise by that reporter last week…but I won't."

Walters hid a sigh of relief.

"But ONLY because Ryou asked me not to."

"Yes, sir."

"If you screw up like this one more time, Walters, you're through."

"Yes, sir."

Seto watched, his blood boiling, as the man beat a hasty retreat.

It had been a bitch of a day so far and it wasn't even half over.

After a night of too much coffee and no sleep, he had gotten into a fight with Tristan. He had suggested to his friend that someone accompany him to the retreat to give him a hand with Joey.

Tristan had taken offence, thinking that Seto was implying he couldn't take care of Joey himself.

It had turned into a raging fight and Bakura had to step in to keep them from coming to blows, demanding that they "kiss and make up".

After a few minutes of mutual apologies they had; under Bakura's watchful glare.

He had gotten to the office to find himself without a secretary when Gina called in sick. Then the computers had gone down and he lost an hour's worth of work.

Then, to top it all off, Bakura and Ryou had come by to pick up a check from Seto to pay for Ryou's tuition for the term when the hikari was grabbed by a reporter in the lobby, trying to find out if the allegations of Tristan abusing Joey were true.

The only upside was that no blood was spilled…depending on your point of view.

Ryou, in typical fashion, had begged Seto not to fire Walters, even though he was still shaking when they left to go home.

He was just considering calling Yugi to see how he was doing when there was a knock at the door.

"Enter." He growled.

"Hey there!" The door was flung open, rather dramatically, to reveal Otogi.

"Otogi! What are you doing here? Our meeting's not until next week."

Otogi pouted, dropping down into a chair in front of Seto's desk. "Can't I just stop by?"

Seto raised an eyebrow. "Well, if you want to talk about your contract, we can't. The computers are down. Besides, Tristan's out of town."

"I know." Otogi's demeanor suddenly turned serious. "Master Kiotou told me."

"Just what did he tell you?" Seto asked defensively. "And how do you know Master Kiotou?"

Otogi held up a hand, stopping the tirade he could see forming on Seto's lips. "Calm down, Kaiba. Let me explain."

"Very well." Seto sat back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. {This better be good.}

"My parents divorced when I was fourteen and my mother got custody of me. We were living in California at the time. Mom only fought for me to spite my father, she didn't really care. I started hanging around with the wrong people and…"

"What does all this have to do with anything?" Seto interrupted angrily.

"Background for my point. Now shut up and listen." Otogi ignored the icy blue glare directed his way. "I started using drugs. Nothing big at first, mostly pot, but by the time I was sixteen I was hooked on crack…hard."

Seto's eyes widened as he realized where Otogi was going with his story.

"My mother couldn't, or didn't want to, deal with me, so she shipped me here to my grandfather. He tried to help me, but I was out of control. One night I lit my pipe and I woke up four days later in a clinic. My grandfather put me there. It saved my life."

"Hang on." Seto interrupted again. "You're grandfather is..?"

"Master Kiotou." Otogi smiled. "He's an amazing man. I owe him my life in more ways than you can imagine."

"But what does this have to do with Joey?"

"Joey needs professional help, Kaiba. Sooner or later Tristan's going to crack under the strain."

Seto sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I know. I tried to tell him that this morning, but he wouldn't listen. I can't convince him to put Joey in the hospital. Not after what happened to him the last time. Even your grandfather agrees with that."

"He does, but when we talked this morning, he said that Joey would recover in the same clinic I went to. It's a private clinic."

"But then why did he tell us Tristan should take Joey from the city?"

Otogi shrugged. "He said something about it being the only way to make Tristan see."

"Gods, that man talks in riddles."

"Yeah, Grandfather's weird like that." Otogi smiled.

"So, this clinic…you said it was private?"

"No one will ever know he was there." Otogi said. "Their methods are rather unorthodox. They cater to the rich and famous, so privacy is a big thing. Grandfather had to pull in a lot of favors to get me in there. It ain't cheap."

Seto waved a hand dismissively.

"How am I going to convince Tristan?" He said, more to himself than the man sitting with him.

"Don't tell him. Make the arrangements first. I know you'll be able to make Tristan realize it's for the best."

"You don't know him. He's so damn stubborn."

"I know it's going to work out, Seto." Otogi flushed slightly, seeing Seto's surprised look at the emerald eyed man's use of his first name. "You don't mind, do you?"

"Of course not." Seto smiled, feeling a new respect for the man. "All my friends call me Seto."

"Well," Otogi jumped up from the chair, his cocky attitude firmly back in place. "I can't sit around here all day."

"Otogi." Seto called to him as the opened the door, waiting until the other man turned around. "Thank you."

"No problem." Otogi flashed him a smile. "Call me if you need me, okay?"

"I will."

As the door closed, Seto realized that Otogi hadn't told him the name of the clinic or where it was located. He reached for the phone to call the front desk and have them stop Otogi, when he noticed a business card on the edge of his desk.

Picking it up, he saw it was Otogi's and it bore the information he needed.

{Hmm…he must have heard out our little bug problem. For a guy whose entire demeanor screams `look at me' he sure knows how to handle a delicate situation.}

He reached for the phone again, this time being interrupted by a beep from his computer.

{Finally.}

He immediately went to check his email, opening up one that had come in from Tristan before even glancing at the others.

The color drained from his face and his heart began to pound as he read it.

{No…Tristan. Don't do this…please!}

He bolted from his chair and ran for the elevator.

He had to get to Tristan.

~*~*~*~*~

"We can leave the horses here." Tristan said, sliding from Cricket's back.

Joey looked around from his spot on the back of the half Percheron that was Seto's favorite horse. Any other time, he wouldn't dream of riding the walking sofa, but he didn't feel up to the challenge.

They had stopped in front of a natural rock wall with a set of stairs carved into the stone. A hitching post, complete with a trough stuffed with hay, stood nearby.

Joey climbed down from his horse as Tristan led his mare to the post.

"Come on, Thunder." Joey followed.

Once there, both men took off the animal's bridles, leaving the halters and clipping on the lead lines attached to the post's rail.

"Give me a minute and I'll get his too." Tristan said, removing Cricket's saddle.

He removed the saddlebags, throwing them over his shoulder, before going over to remove the tack from the big black.

"Will they be alright here?" Joey asked as Tristan took his hand and began leading him toward the rock wall.

"They'll be fine. The tide just went out so we're good for a while."

They went up the shallow staircase and over the top, following a wide, beaten path down the other side.

"Oh, wow." Joey breathed. "This is beautiful!"

Stopping in the center of a wide, enclosed strip of beach, Tristan pointed out over the water to another low wall. "When the tide goes out, that wall creates a natural lake."

Joey took a deep breath, enjoying the salty smell of the ocean. The sky above them was cloudless, a deep blue and the sun shone down warm on the hidden cove.

"I thought maybe we could go for a swim." Tristan dropped the saddlebags, removing a large, soft blanket, spreading it on the warm sand.

"Sounds like fun." Joey grinned, stripping off his shirt. "Wait a minute. We didn't bring any swim trunks."

"Private property, love." Tristan pulled off his own shirt. We might as well be on another planet."

"Oh…okay."

Joey stood, watching as Tristan undressed, making no move to rid himself of the rest of his clothes.

[Gods, he looks good.] Joey felt a stir of desire as he looked at his dark haired love.

Not knowing how he had missed the fact that Tristan had obviously been working out, he let his eyes rake over Tristan's body, noticing that his chest was broader than he remembered, his abs more finely sculpted.

A soft, ragged moan caught Tristan's attention, and he turned to Joey. "Are you okay?"

Joey's eyes met Tristan's and the need there nearly broke Tristan's heart. He went to Joey and took him in his arms. Joey pressed close to the brunet with a small whimper.

"Talk to me, baby."

"I need you, Tris."

"I'm right here." Tristan brushed Joey's hair back. "I'm not going anywhere."

"No, I mean…I want you."

Tristan bit his lip. He could feel Joey's arousal pressed against him, fell his own body responding. But he also knew that Keith had been a brutal lover, and if he made love to Joey now, it would cause him more pain than pleasure.

"Please, Tristan." Joey laid his head on Tristan's chest. "I know you're worried about hurting me, but I need you to touch me. I need…I need to know you still love me."

"Joey, I do love you. Why do you need me to prove it to you?"

"I thought Keith loved me." Joey's arms tightened around Tristan, nails digging into skin. "Every time he touched me, he hurt me. He wouldn't let anyone else touch me. The only one who even dared was Marty. He always stroked my hair when I…"

"Shh…hush, babe." Tristan kissed the top of Joey's head as the blond's voice choked with tears.

He could feel Joey trembling against him, but whether it was from withdrawal or need, he couldn't tell. He brought Joey over to the blanket, drawing him down and helping him remove his boots and the rest of his clothes.

He gently pushed Joey over on his back, hovering over him. "I love you, Joey. I always have. I always will. I don't want you to ever doubt that."

Joey reached up and pulled Tristan down on top of him. "Kiss me."

Tristan complied, immediately delving in, tearing a whimper from the blond. He took his time, wanting to convey his emotions to his lover.

"Tristan!" Joey gasped, pushing him back. "Please!"

Tristan ran his hand down Joey's thin body to caress his hip as he bent his head to kiss an already taught nipple. He felt Joey's hand on the back of his neck, moving to caress his back and shoulders, his touch hesitant and almost shy.

He looked up to see Joey doing something he hadn't done since the early days of their relationship. He was blushing…and there was a look in his eyes like he was afraid he was doing something wrong.

"Is…is that okay?" Joey whispered.

"Of course. I like it." Tristan smiled, relieved when Joey smiled back.

Tristan felt a stab of anger as he moved to kiss Joey's stomach. /Damn you, Keith. I'm glad you're dead./

He had quite suddenly come to the realization that Keith had not only abused Joey physically, but emotionally as well. He had severely wounded Joey's self confidence, leaving him needing constant reassurance.

Joey grabbed Tristan by the arms and pulled him back up.

"What's wrong, love?" Tristan asked, lying on his side next to the blond.

"I don't want you to…I-I just want you to touch me. That's all."

"I'll do whatever you want me to." Tristan touched his face. "I'd never hurt you like that, Joey."

Joey took Tristan's hand in his, placing it flat against his chest. Holding the brunet's wrist, he moved his hand down his body. Tristan let Joey guide him until he felt the blond's arousal brush the backs of his fingers.

He leaned down and kissed the hollow of Joey's throat, his tongue flicking over the sensitive flesh as he wrapped his fingers around his lover's erection.

Joey twitched and let out a small moan as Tristan began stroking him.

"Can I…is it okay if I touch you too?" Joey asked.

"If you want to." Tristan trailed small kisses across Joey's jaw before looking into his eyes.

"It's all I've wanted since the day I left."

/I wish I had put that bullet through your head, you son of a bitch./

"I'd like it very much if you touched me, baby." Tristan said softly.

Joey nodded, reaching out a trembling hand to touch Tristan's body. His fingertips lightly traced the new, yet still familiar muscles of the other man's chest, drifting down to outline the ridges of his stomach with a single finger.

"Joey…baby…" Tristan moaned, desire flaming through him at his lover's gentle touch.

Joey whimpered in pleasure as Tristan began pumping him harder and wrapped his hand around Tristan's arousal, matching his pace.

Tristan groaned deeply and took possession of Joey's lips, kissing him hungrily.

Soon their motions became harder, faster, the kiss only pausing for quick, gasping breaths before they resumed that particular caress.

"Tris!" Joey cried out. "Please…coming…please…Tristan!"

"That's it." Tristan kissed Joey's temple. "That's my boy…come on, Joey."

Tristan shuddered hard as Joey's body arched against him, screaming his pleasure and spilling his passion between them.

"Joey…" Tristan whispered into Joey's hair as his own release claimed him. "I love you."

He held his golden lover close as they came back to earth, sighing in contentment as Joey nuzzled his neck. "Now we REALLY need to go for a swim."

Joey looked up at Tristan, eyes twinkling. "It was worth it. Love you."

"Love you too, babe." Tristan stood, offering his hand to Joey. "Let's get cleaned up."

~*~*~*~*~

Seto cursed as he turned onto yet another side street, trying to find a way around the accident that was blocking his way out of the city.

{I won't let you do this, Tristan. You can't do this to me. I need you.}

Seto growled, leaning on the horn, as someone cut him off.

{Why would you do something like this?}

He finally found a clear path to the outskirts of the city and jammed the car into high gear, praying he wouldn't be stopped.

~*~*~*~*~

"How are you feeling?" Tristan asked as he threw open the bedroom door.

"Sore." Joey replied, kicking off his boots. "I think I need a shower. The salt water made me all itchy."

"Well, you go ahead." Tristan sat down at the desk. "I have to check on a few things. When you're done, I'll give you a backrub."

"Sounds nice." Joey headed for the bathroom. "I won't be long."

Joey closed the door and quickly undressed, leaving his clothes scattered around the room. He went to the shower and stared at the taps for a moment, trying to figure out how to turn on only one showerhead. Giving up with a shrug, he turned on all six.

He turned to get a towel and his gaze fell on the toilet. A hard shiver ran through him.

[No. I won't do it.]

His hands started to shake and he took a step forward.

[I…I can't.]

Three more steps brought him directly in front of the toilet. His hands reached out of their own volition and removed the lid from the tank.

[I can't help it…I need it.]

He reached into the water and pulled out the bag, taking it over to the sink. Opening the medicine cabinet, his eyes lit immediately on a silver spoon lying next to a bottle of cough syrup.

[Where am I going to find a lighter?]

Joey began rummaging through the cabinet. He was about to give up when he saw a book of matches crammed into a corner.

[These'll do.]

He took what he needed and moved across the room, crouching down and leaning against the wall.

His jeans were in reach and he removed his belt, placing it in front of him.

[I don't want to do this…but I can't help it. I need it.]

Joey prepared the needle and slipped his belt around his arm, putting the end between his teeth to keep it tight. He searched his still infected arm, looking for a clean spot. Finding one, he poised the needle.

[Tristan…please stop me.]

~*~*~*~*~

Joey: Oh for the love of..! I can't BELIEVE this!

Seto: Suck it up, mutt. They're the authors and you should know by now you have no control over them.

Tristan: I do.

Seto: Yeah, well, that's because they love you best.

Tristan: *smug grin*

YD: This is getting to be SOOO much fun! Oh, the torture!!

DD: *rolls eyes* Are you PMSing?

YD: Nope.

Ryou: Please review.