Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Thank You, Next Question ❯ Thank You, Next Question ( One-Shot )

Thank You, Next Question

By Houou and Liger Zero Schneider

Disclaimer: Don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, (or Digimon or LOTR, or InuYasha, or DBZ OR Kingdom Hearts which get mentions). DON'T TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY!

Liger: Hi everyone! Me and Houou got a bunch of Yu-Gi-Oh characters to answer some questions.

Houou: First question's for Yugi! Out of the cast of Yu-Gi-Oh, who's the hottest?

Yugi: The hottest? Well, Seto is pretty cute, Yami is fine… [Seto blushes, Yami smirks] But I think the hottest person here is Shadi. [Everyone stares at him.] What?

Liger: Riiiight. Yami, why do you not eat?

Yami: I'll show ya! [opens himself up to show he's a shell with a spirit inside]

Everyone: Cool!

Houou: Yami Bakura, why are you such an ass!

Bakura: I watched way too much American Idol! Simon is my idol, my god! Of course, Anne Robinson, but she's a girl, so she doesn't count.

Houou, Liger, Tea, Mai, Isis, Serenity: MALE CHAUVINIST PIG! [beat Bakura up until he's a pulp]

Liger: Okay, next question. Ryou, how come you have white hair?

Ryou: Camera, zoom in really close. [Camera zooms in to a strand of hair] See? It's not white; it's a pale pink.

Houou: Thank you, next question. Pegasus, what did you do with Grandpa, Kaiba, and Mokuba's souls while they were out of body?

Pegasus: [goes to Houou and whispers in her ear. Houou blushes]

Houou: Even Grandpa? [Pegasus nods] Eeeeewwww.

Liger: So spill!

Houou: He set the souls up for porno photos.

Liger: Even Grandpa? [Houou nods] Eeeeewwww.

Houou: That's what I said.

Liger: Let's change the subject quickly. Espa Roba, how come you and your brothers look exactly alike?

Espa Roba: Well, actually, they aren't my brothers. They are clones of me created at different times.

Houou: Duke.

Liger: Who?

Houou: The Dungeon Dice Monsters guy.

Liger: Oh.

Houou: If you were stuck on a deserted island, who would you want to be stuck with, Tristan or Yami?

Duke: Hmmm. [Frenches Yami and then Tristan] Tristan.

Liger: Oookay. Tristan, how did it feel to be kissed by a guy?

Tristan: Can I have seconds?

Duke: Sure! [They begin making out. Liger puts a screen around them.]

Houou: Yaoi forever! Weevil, are you the illegitamete son of Pegasus?

Weevil: [wide eyed] Maybeeee…

Houou: Who's your ma then?

[Jun comes out]

Jun: Weevil, my son!

Weevil: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! [runs off stage]

Jun: Pegasus, my lover!

Pegasus: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [runs off stage]

Houou: Jun Pegasus?

Liger: Or Jun Crawford?

Houou: Neither sound that good.

Liger: Next question's for Mai! Mai, are those real? [points to Mai's breasts]

Mai: What makes you say that?

[Houou slams the flat of her giant spatula on Mai's knockers. There is a loud popping noise as the balloons in Mai's shirt pop.]

Everyone: MAI'S FLAT CHESTED! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Mai: [begins crying] QUIT PICKING ON ME! [runs off]

Houou: Joey, we don't have a question for you. We do have this. [puts a necklace around Joey's neck.] SIT! [Joey falls down] Now Kaiba can really treat you like a dog!

Liger: If Houou's done playing, Serenity, are you from the moon?

Serenity: Well, not Earth's moon. I'm from one of Saturn's moons, named Hyperion.

Liger: Cool!

Houou: Rex, are you related to Boromir?

Rex: What kind of question is that?

Houou: Well, since you're both obnoxious and pains in the asses and have weird voices, I thought you were related.

Rex: Well, we're not.

Liger: [looks at Tea] Naah! [knocks Tea out of the studio]

Houou: Grandpa, can you get my hair like that?

Grandpa: Sure! [They go to the side]

Liger: Shadi, did your face freeze that way?

Shadi: Yes it did.

[Grandpa and Houou come back. Houou has Grandpa's hairstyle.]

Houou: Croquet, who the hell gave you such a fruity name?

Croquet: My mother, and it's not a fruity name!

Houou: Suuure it's not.

[Croquet tries to kill Houou but follows Tea out of the studio]

Liger: Kaiba, who's a better lay, Yugi or Yami?

Kaiba: Neither, what's best is a threesome of me and them!

Houou: Yaoi forever! Mokuba, how does Kaiba run an entire company by himself?

Mokuba: Well, not all by himself. He has robots that look like him that run the company while he's out whoring.

Kaiba: Wha-?

Liger: Isis, are you pissed because America changed your name to Ishizu?

Isis: Hell yeah! I'm starting a riot to restore our original names, who's with me?

Malik: I am!

Duke: [from behind screen] Me too!

[Everyone more or less agrees to help.]

Houou: Bandit Keith, why are you so obsessed with machine monsters?

Keith: It's because I'm an android.

[17 and 18 come out.]

17: 11! Get back to destroying the world with us!

Keith: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!![ dragged away by 18]

Liger: Malik, are you pissed because your American name is Marik?

Malik: Heck yeah!

Houou: Mako, did you ever find your dad?

Mako: Here he comes now!

[Ansem comes in. Everyone beats him to a pulp]

Liger: Last question! Bonz, why are you so ugly?

[Bonz is asleep.]

Liger: And that's all the time we have! Bye!