Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ The Drugged Sleepover ❯ One-Shot

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

((WARNINGS: Nakedness, suggested shounen ai, drug useage, cursing, and mild sexual suggestions.))

~*~

Why I ever let the Pharaoh over I'll never know. A sleepover for Mokuba. He'd invited everyone. The Pharaoh, his wimpy hikari, that inu, the male cheerleader, and even the cringing Brit. I had planned to stay in my office the whole night, hide from them, as it were. It was nearly a flawless plan. I had a lot of work to do. Both school work and Kaiba Corporation work. It was maddening. I had a group of rowdy teenagers and an ancient Pharaoh one floor below me, making more noise than I've ever heard, even at lunch time in the school cafeteria. I hate that place, what makes anyone think I could stand this noise.

Come midnight, they were still being too loud for my likings, and it was way past Mokuba's bedtime as it was. I slammed the papers I was working on down on my desk in anger. "That's it!" I shouted, pushing away from my desk. I heard the chair crash to the floor behind me as I stormed from the room, ready to bang a couple of heads together. No sleep for days on end can do that to anyone.

Anyway, I stormed into the game room, where I knew they were playing, and stopped dead in my tracks. I couldn't believe the mess. Okay, I should have expected something like it, I had invited teenagers over. Teenagers I happened to know as ridiculous. Idiots that shouldn't be allowed to walk on the face of the Earth. But, the room... If I had been able to manage any speech, I would have shouted my lungs out right then and there.

There was popcorn thrown everywhere, including on the ceiling. The sleeping bags they'd all rolled out on the floor to sleep in were rumpled and thrown about. I noted at least one on the ceiling fan, which was, luckily, not on. The television had crashed to the floor to lie on it's side, the screen broken in. There were holes in the walls. Melted chocolate smeared the walls, floor, furniture, even the ceiling, although I don't know how it got there as a hand print.

It wasn't the shape of the room that most disturbed me, though. It was the shape of the room occupants. I was, suddenly, very glad I'd forced it to be an all male party. For, every single member, err... person, in that room was stark naked. Clothing had found itself numerous hiding places, including someone's underwear hanging from the middle of the ceiling. I continue bringing up the ceiling because I couldn't bare to think about what the occupants of the room were up to.

I was forced to look down when my little brother put his arms around my middle and giggled up at me. "Hiya, Niisama..." His smile was sloppy. I might have said alcohol, but I didn't smell the distinctive scent.

"Mokuba, what's with you?" I inquired, prying his arms from me.

"I feel all happy!" Mokuba laughed brightly, then left me for his prancing, naked, friends.

I groaned. I was not in the mood for this. "SHUT THE FUCK UP!!" I shouted at the top of my lungs.

The prancing and noise stopped and everyone turned to me. "Halo, Kaiba-boy." Jyou giggled insanely. The rest of them cracked up.

"Kaiba-boy! Kaiba-boy!" Honda repeated in a poor impression of Pegasus' voice. I could do better, by far....

~What am I thinking?! No! Seto, get a hold on yourself!~ I shouted at myself, then narrowed my eyes at the Pharaoh. "Yami, you're the most responsible person here. Why didn't you stop this madness?" I asked him in the calmest voice I could manage without shouting again.

"I found out about this thing that is better than sugar and we all had some. Would you like some, Kaiba-boy?" Yami's eyes dilated and he giggled. "Kaiba-boy!"

~Obviously I'm the only sane one left. Great...~ I made a face at the group, who were all cracking up again. "No, I don't want any of this crap. I would like you to flush what is rest of it down the toilet, though." I told him sternly.

Yami pouted at me. "Ooh, Kaiba-boy's no fun..."

"Niisama!" Mokuba whined.

"Come on, Kaiba. Loosen up." Yuugi and Ryou chorused.

"Absolutely not!" I glared at all of them. "If that shit is not flushed in five minutes, everyone is going home!" I threatened.

Yami glared at me and shoved past me to the bathroom, a small thing in his right hand. I followed him, to make sure he'd actually flush it. As we got to the bathroom, though, he spun around and blew something at my face, which I'd been prepared for, and I held up a baking pan in front of my face. "Cheater!" Yami shouted in a shrill voice.

"Flush it, now." I growled, not letting the pan down. One of us needed to stay sane in this household. That someone was, it seemed, going to be me.

I peeked out at him as I heard a plop in the toilet water. He had dumped the package in the bowl. He flushed it. "There." He pouted.

"Wash your hands. I refuse to trust you when you're on drugs." I told him darkly.

"But Se~to!!" He whined.

"Wash your damn hands, Yami!" I rose my voice, giving it a deadly edge. He washed his hands and I lowered the baking pan cautiously. "Good. Now, why don't you guys go out back and play in the yard?" I asked in as calm a voice as I could.

Yami let out a cry of joy and bounced through the kitchen and out the back door. The others followed him, having been told by Yuugi, no doubt. ~I'm glad it's closed in.~ I decided, walking over to an intercom button and pressing it. "Ledia, may I borrow you and a clean-up group for the game room? It's disgusting." I sighed, attempting, and failing, to keep the weariness from my voice.

"Of course, Kaiba-sama." My head housekeeper replied.

I returned to the game room to clean it up some. I put the clothing in one pile, the sleeping bags in another, and their bags of things in a third, all to be sorted later, and including the things on the ceiling and fan. Then the housekeepers came in and took over, taking the clothing to the washing machines and going after the walls and ceiling with vigor and cleaning supplies. A couple of my bodyguards came in to take out the broken television.

I walked out to the back to keep an eye on the naked freaks in my yard. ~This is just so embarrassing...~ I sighed mentally. ~Of course...~ I smirked to myself and walked back inside to grab my new camera, then went back outside to get myself some blackmail. ~I am a businessman, and my rival is running around, stark naked, in my backyard. Like I'm letting this chance pass me by!~

"Oi, Kaiba-boy, is that a camera?" Honda asked suspiciously.

I twirled the camera cord around a finger and shrugged. "Maybe."

"Yaro!" Jyou and Honda ran at me together.

I rolled my eyes and tripped the two of them with ease. "Like I'm giving this to you." I hung the camera around my neck and turned back towards the house. "When you all have calmed down, you may return to the game room. Until then, remain out here." I told them, then left, with a wave of my hand. I returned to my office to upload my new pictures and get back to work.

~~^~~

It took them until dawn to wear off whatever drug it was the Pharaoh had gotten. I waited to hear the shouts when they got back to the game room, only to find that their things were gone, as I'd requested the servants do.

Yami's voice carried the loudest. "Kaiba! Where the hell are you! I know you stole my clothes! Don't make me tell Mokuba you think he's hot!" I rolled my eyes at his threat, about to get some sleep when I heard my worst nightmare, come to life.

Yami's voice laughing: "Whee! Dust!"

I rammed my head into the wall as the noise started up again. "Oh, fuck. Here we go, again...."

~~~

A/N: That was fun! This fic was inspired by the foolish joining of Yu-Gi-Oh! and ONDCP(Office of National Drug Control Policy) to promote anti-drug feelings in young children around de US. In one of the lists I frequent, I brought this up and we all found it very funny. They even have a clip for dear Yami's "Anti-Drug". Here, de link http://www.freevibe.com/hangtime/yugioh.shtml for the clip.

One of the ppl on the list came up with that last bit that Yami said, and now we are considering a contest. I dunno, are we actually gonna do it, Sarrasi? The "I'm On Weed" story contest. Well, if it's definitely gonna happen, here's my entry, if not, this was just fun. I got to diss Yami, ignore Anzu, and make Seto's life living hell!

Hope you liked reading this as much as I liked writing it! And remember kids: Don't do drugs. *stern look*

DISCLAIMER: Why can't I have them?! Why?! I wouldn't do them any harm, I swear! I'd just give Yami some weed and lock Bakura, Malik, and Marik in the same room as Anzu... I swear it wouldn't be that bad! I swear! *cries* I WANNA OWN YGO!!! *hides in her corner*

~KK =^.^=/Junshin/Noa Girl