Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ The Ladybugs Have Turned Belligerent ❯ Windows 51_1X0RZ ( Chapter 3 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Day 3

"A question that sometimes that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?"

[Einstein]

Apparently it was Mokuba who stole Kaiba's laptop. Last night I had just finished organizing the living room (which involved moving around several sleeping people) and I was passing by the girls room on my way to the kitchen so I could get the cleaning supplies I needed for the bathroom- when I heard Kaiba's voice.

Kaiba: I KNEW IT! YOU GIRLS ARE NOT SO INNOCENT, AFTER ALL! SHOULD HAVE KNOWN!

(noise travels through the ultra thin walls and wakes EVERYBODY UP!)

Duke: Joey! I think I heard a noise!

Pegasus: (banging the mallet up and down, with a funny bunny plushy clutched to his chest) What did you hear? (continues banging)

Duke: (curses) Damn Mallet... (goes back to sleep)

(Back to Kaiba and Serenity)

Serenity: (calmly) Actually, it was Mokuba. Now shut up, you'll wake everyone up!

Kaiba: (hissing) I want that computer!

Serenity: Let me finish with it! I spent all day checking Mai and Tea's e-mail for them, because all they use is stupid Windows!

Kaiba: I don't care and-- (slight pause) You know how to operate Linux?

Serenity: Hello! I am surfing the freaking internet?

Kaiba: You mean you aren't an evil, brainwashed minion of the satanic Windows?

Serenity: Do I 'LOOK' like I'm under the control of the Blue Screen of Death?

Kaiba: O___O ...

…

(glomps her) I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY IN MY ENTIRE LIFE! (anime teary eyes) (looks beyond her shoulder and holds his fist up) I HAD GIVEN UP HOPE ON FINDING A WOMAN AS SELECTIVE AND AS INTELLIGENT AS I AM! I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT FOR ALL MY LIFE!!!!! (pulls away and looks into her eyes) (intense stare) Will you bare my children?

Serenity: (pauses for a moment) Yeah… Sure- just let me check my e-mail... (eyes scan it) Damn solicitors. Can't they get it by now that I don't care? (eyes scan in) (glares at the computer) No… I do not want a three-inch penis! (Deletes them all) All right, let's go...

Kaiba: (grabs her hand and they do the romantic eye crap) Let's…

*Tiny Dancer plays in the background*

(they go into the empty closet in the hallway and close the door. Floating hearts appear from the cracks of the door and someone that sounds like Serenity says, "Oh, Kaiba...")

As you can see, even if I did magically become a contortionist overnight, I couldn't move out of the living room. Well, maybe the pantry. It's not like there's much food in there, since Malik has hidden all the canned goods in his room, and Pegasus has hoarded all his wine in "The Judicial Chamber" (which is a sloppily erected pillow fort). I'm sure the girls have their own stash of food, since they hardly ever make an attempt to get things from the kitchen. I imagine they used it to bribe Mokuba into betraying his brother.

The beeps from the pantry continue, although Kaiba and Serenity took the laptop into the closet with them. I wonder if missing my anti- depressants is taking a larger toll on me than expected. Either way, I'm saner than Joey. He recently found his rubrics cube has gone missing, and he's tearing apart the living room looking for it. At least the bathroom is mostly clean. Yugi, Yami, Kaiba, Malik and Duke and I have all showered today and the bathroom still remains mostly neat (partly due to the fact that they all took their towels back to their respective sleeping quarters). I'll probably give it a quick once over tonight, just for the sake of keeping busy.

I'm proud to say I managed three hours sleep last night before Pegasus woke up at the crack of dawn and started screaming that the court should rise to greet him. Oh, and today when Pegasus moved his hair out of the way, I noticed his eye was missing. I don't believe he's noticed.

*End Diary Entry*

AOL - 12:00 AT NIGHT

AOL Screen Name: pharaohiam_worshipme
YOU HAVE RECEIVED 11 MESSAGES FROM -- pharaohzLUVslave@hotmail.com

pharaohzLUVslave@hotmail.com Even if you have passed on 4:30 AM

pharaohzLUVslave@hotmail.com Oops! 4:31 AM

pharaohzLUVslave@hotmail.com What I had for breakfast 6:28 AM

pharaohzLUVslave@hotmail.com Guess what I am wearing today? 7:03 AM

pharaohzLUVslave@hotmail.com I'm on my break now. ^__^ 10:00 AM

pharaohzLUVslave@hotmail.com Guess what I had for lunch?! 1:13 PM

pharaohzLUVslave@hotmail.com I went shopping… T___T 4:30 PM

pharaohzLUVslave@hotmail.com I had dinner… 6:19 PM

pharaohzLUVslave@hotmail.com … 6:41 PM

pharaohzLUVslave@hotmail.com T___T It's just not the same! 9:30 PM

 

Bakura gleefully licked the Millenium Eye, his latest acquisition. "Hm…" he glared at the his Ring and his new Eye. "I still need a third ring." He glared at them some more as if they were supposed to produce one.

. . .

>< "DAMNIT WHAT'S WRONG?! DID I GET YOU THE WRONG GENDER OR SOMETHING?!" (glares)

. . .

O.o;; "Uh… that's O.K. then… I'll get something else from somewhere… sorry guys." Bakura finishes off his soda while contemplating what he could use for another "ring." "God… there's nothing powerful and easily accessible around here." *tosses soda can*

. . .

"MWAHAHAHA!" *sizes the bottle of Bawls* "YES! YOU, HOLDER OF THE ALMIGHTY LIFEBLOOD THAT IS CAFFIINE! YOU ARE WORTHY OF BEING MY RING!! MWAHAHAHAH!!" Lining up his three rings with a huge, evil HETEROSEXUAL grin on his face, Thief Bakubunnie turned towards his PS2, all of his HETEROSEXUAL teeth revealed, his eyes glinting maliciously and switched the PS2 on…

…

but nothing happened…

Enraged, he hollered, "YOU PIECE OF CRAP!!!" He flailed his HETEROSEXUAL arms around, accidentally knocking over the empty bottle of Bawls, hitting the edge of the LCD Screen, causing it to switch on. (The PS2 Logo flashes across the screen) He paused for a moment, before seizing the bottle (which had landed in the meat vender) and holding it to his chest. "Yes," he spoke, stroking it, "I knew I made the right decision by appointing you as supreme ring being." With that, the Lord of the Rings theme played again…

The World has changed… I feel it in the water… I feel it in the Earth… I can smell it in the-

Bakura narrowed his eyes and hissed, "I feel you are an idiot…" and hit the R2 button (the fast forward button for those who are PS2 illiterate) and fast-forwarded through the boring crap. He then paused at where he left off… He grinned even more sadistically then before. Three were given to the elves, immortal, wisest and fairest of all beings. He grinned evilly (while staring at his three "valuables"), Running a hand through his hair, he said "If I do say so myself…" (A/N Keep in mind that he is HETEROSEXUAL!!!) (A/N I am having serious Sailor Moon Dub Flashbacks…) (A/N For God's sake, Mihoshi-NOT AGAIN!!!) (A/N ^___^) (A/N -__-;;; Jesus…) -Seven, to the dwarf lords, (Bakura's mouth drops) great miners, and craftsmen of the-

He cried into the air, "GOD DAMNIT!!!" and kicked it and accidentally turned it off… (Luckily for him, his PS2 is custom, made out of Gundanium Alloy-he'd needed Gundanium Alloy, because under normal circumstances involving a very HETEROSEXUAL Thief Bakura alone with it in the fridge, and possibly, a mutated cucumber, it would shatter.

T.B.C.

Yamiko: We are getting tired, so…

Pegasus: (emerges from the room next door) THERE YOU ARE! ^__^

Yamiko: (shrieks) SHIT!!!