Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ The Ladybugs Have Turned Belligerent ❯ w00t ( Chapter 1 )

~The Ladybugs Have Turned Belligerent~

By Yamiko: Dartz' Girl

And...

The Truly Traumatizing Somebody Else. ^__^

Pegasus: Hey?! What's with the author name thing?

Yamiko: Oh, I forgot to tell you. My dear friend Mihoshi/Somebody Else is going to help me write this chapter.

(Enter Mihoshi From Stage Left, Bringing with her the tune of Yoko Kannos "March For Koala" From Cowboy Bebop.)

Mihoshi: I'M HEEEEEEEEERE! OH! LOOK AT ALL THE CUTE MUSES! (Glomps the unfortunate muse who was standing by the door-- Yami.

Yami: (promptly turns blue) Can't… Breathe…

Kaiba: (sweat drops) Y'know... I ... uh... I... I think I left my lap top in the other room... (Runs out)

Marik: Yes... I too have...left my ... uh... lap top... somewhere....where Kaiba is going....

Yami Bakura: Wait a second, YOU DON'T HAVE ONE!!

Marik: I DO NOW! (Runs)

Mihoshi: (drops Yami, who is now unconscious) Oh, damn. They always go to sleep right after. Why oh WHY don't guys like to cuddle? (Starts looking for her next victim)

Yami Bakura: (pauses) WAIT FOR ME! (Flees)

Mihoshi: Good thing that I brought my Bakura muse for this fan fiction, we'll need him! Oh, and Yamiko-Chan, I write a little differently than you do...

Yamiko: No problem. At this rate, I am just worried how much Yami's medical bills are going to cost. You may proceed. Also, this fic is rated R for sexual content, violence(often at the same time when Bakura and Malik are together), adult language and implications of ... things…

Mihoshi: Other warnings include randomness and (w00t!) YAOI! ^____^

Yamiko: (whimpers) T___T I hate you!

Pegasus: Hmm... Mihoshi gives me an idea... (glomps Yamiko) NOW YOU CAN NEVER ESCAPE!

Yamiko: (trying to pry him off-with much difficulty) AS... I... WAS... SAYING! YOU MAY PROCEED!

Mihoshi: ^__^ (pulls her Bakura muse out of her purse and snuggles him, then pulls out her FLUFFY PINK GEL PEN OF ULTIMATE DOOM!!! (tm) and starts writing.) AND I FINALLY GET TO PUT YAOI IN ONE OF YAMIKO-CHANS FANFICS!! (evil laugh)

Yamiko: (goes from whimpering to wailing and doesn't put up a fight when Pegasus drags her away)

Pairings

Yami & Yuugi (strongly hinted-confirmed in the last chapter)

Pegasus & Various inanimate objects (hey, we said it was random)(and a little bit of Tea, but not really.)(then again, how do you tell Tea from an inanimate object? I mean, her I.Q. isn't that much higher... might even be lower... I'll stop now.)

Yami no Bakura & Yami no Malik (& their friend Sadomasochism)

Serenity & Kaiba (Serenity Uses Linux)

Tea & Tristan (So we could put this under the Horror category at Mediaminer.org)

Dartz & Isis (MORE randomness! w00t!)

Duke & Tristan (Ukii!)

Tea & Sieg (So Yamiko doesn't notice me bashing Tea.)

Possibly more if I get bored with these. Oh, and We now have a heterosexual incarnation of Bakura. Thief Bakura! w00t! We get to make the other two gay AND Emiko isn't going to kill us! (Yamiko isn't exactly thrilled though)

@~^~~~~~~ (<--- Mihoshi: It's a ROSE!! ^__^)

*~*~* (< --- Yamiko: I like MY layout…)

Mihoshi: Rose! Rose! ROSE!

Yamiko: LAYOUT! LAYOUT! LAYOUT!

Bakura: This could take forever, so let's just begin…

Day 1:

"Is our situation not dismal? Wonderland is so discombobulated that even the ladybugs have turned belligerent and enlisted in the queen's army. You must punish their conversion."

[The Cheshire cat from American McGee's Alice]

Weevil somehow managed to take over the world and confiscate everyone's duel monster cards. I have no clue how he managed this, since he's ... well... an absolute moron. No, that would be insulting to Bandit Keith. Not that I care for the dullard, but you have to feel something akin to pity for a fool who was murdered by the king of bugs. The only rebels were myself (Ryou Bakura) and my Yami, Yugi and his Yami, Joey, Tristan, Duke, Kaiba, Mokuba, Pegasus, and Malik and Marik (Malik's Yami). Oh, and Mai, Serenity and Tea. Though they disappeared immediately upon arrival to establish a "feminine space" where they could do things that no man has any right to know the details of.

I worry that our supplies may not last. We have a lot of packaged food, but most of it is in cans and Joey traded the can opener to Marik for a rubrics cube. Marik has declared himself a sex god and is demanding that anyone who wants canned food must "worship" him. Our supplies will run out before the month is over, forcing us to turn to Marik. Of course, we might be able to entreat Pegasus to share his supplies, but he only brought comic books, a funny-bunny plushy, and wine. Well, if all else fails we can all commit suicide by way of alcohol poisoning.

However, I fear that before we can run out of supplies, the politics will destroy the precarious legal structure we have somehow (Not democratically, I assure you.) achieved within the past half hour. Yami (being the egotist that he is-- my dark half's words, not mine), has already claimed the role of 'Almighty' Pharaoh. Pegasus has gotten a mallet from somewhere and has declared himself to be the Supreme Judicial Officer. Which is just a fancy way of saying that if you fuck up, he's the one who'll sentence you. And bang his mallet. He REALLY likes banging his mallet. Yami said he appointed Pegasus as the judge since he is the oldest (which is ridiculous since he's only 24), but I suspect that he was bribed with wine. This could probably explain the plans he's been coming up with.

As I passed by him and Yugi, I overheard Yami's plan for vengeance against the almighty king and lord of insects-- and the world, (shudders) Weevil. It went something a long these lines:

Yugi: Yami, I have put my trust in you-- since you are the pharaoh and all- so anyway... You have come up with a plan, right?

Yami: (banging his head on the cavern wall-- pulling away after ten bangs) Yeah I have a-- WAIT! Back to the drawing board... (continues banging) All right...

(draws out teeny little Japanese collectible figures of the Yu-Gi-Oh cast and puts them on the table) All right, we all run for Weevil's castle... (pushes them all to a little Lego castle (where he got the Legos, I do not know)-- which is only about two blocks because he was in a hurry) We summon our strongest monsters

(throws Dark Magician, Red Eyes Black Dragon, Blue Eyes White Dragon, Relinquished and a bunch of other monsters towards Weevils castle) ...and we launch an attack and destroy Weevil and the world will be restored to its peaceful state!

Yugi: ... Attack Weevil's castle?

Yami: (nods) Yup.

Yugi: ... With our monsters?

Yami: Uh-huh.

Yugi: ... That is your plan?

Yami: That's it!

Yugi: (turns bouncy) Well! I love it! So how do we get our cards back?

Yami: (opens his mouth... then stops)

(Knock-Knock)

Yami: (immediately) ^__^;;; I'LL GET IT!!! (sprints for the door)

(opens it up, revealing Dartz holding out his hand.)

Dartz: -___- Rent Please.

Yami: (goes through his pocket, fishes out lint, a block of bubble gum, a Pokemon card and finally grabs a ten dollar bill) Here yah go...

Dartz: -____- I let you and your pathetic group of friends hide in my kingdom of Atlantis and all you give me is a ten dollar bill?

Yami: ^__^ Yup.

Dartz: VV007! (runs out of the room) LAS VEGAS, HERE I COME!

Yugi: So, about getting our cards back?

Yami: (Opens his mouth... then stops for the second time that day)

Yugi: You do know how? ... Don't you?

Yami: (moves the figures about two feet from the pathetic Lego castle). All right, we all run for Weevil's castle... (pushes them all to a little Lego castle) We summon our strongest monsters...

Yugi: Oh for Christ's sake!

As you can see, the pharaoh has lost it (fortunately, so has Dartz, but that's not the point). This worries me for me reasons then one, as he was supposed to be our only contact with the outside world by way of Isis. You see, she is supposed to keep us (Yami!) updated on Weevil's status and tell us (Yami!) when to come out of hiding and "smite him" (her words! I don't use the word "Smite" unless I'm talking about God, which Yami is not. Don't tell Isis I said that.) I have little faith in the future of our little rebellion if somebody does not beat some sense into our head political figure sometime soon. Unfortunately, I believe that things will get worse before they get better. If they get better. Oh, and I forgot all my anti- depressants back at my apartment. So, overall, life sucks.

*End Diary Entry*

LINUX - 7:00 AT NIGHT

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___

Kaiba frowned as he logged out of Yami's account, muttering, "Idiot." He then logged onto mediaminers.org and grinned as he updated his NC-17 Fictions.(A/N: The Language for these fictions is courtesy of four snickering second grade girls! Just like most other NC-17 fics on that site.)

~~~~~^~#@

Mihoshi: w00t! A ROSE!
Yamiko: I give up...

T.B.C.

Yami: (awakens) BECAUSE THE PHARAOH DEMANDS IT!!

Yamiko: >__>;; Riiiight...

Mihoshi: *glomp*