Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ The Night The Earth Stood Still ❯ I ( One-Shot )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Disclaimer : I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!, or any of its characters.

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The Night The Earth Stood Still

by Igatona

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Ryuuji Otogi, owner of a prolific gaming store in Domino, was scouring the inventory of his store. A boring activity in itself, but it usually led to very interesting discoveries. For example, he never thought he had that much game soundtracks in his backstore. What was even worse was that he didn't even notice them due to the thick layer of dust.

"I should check the backstore more often." was what he always told himself after doing the inventory.

He never made good on that promise, not one single time.

That is why, when leaning against what seemed, looked, even felt like a wall and sipping some cola, he ungracefully fell backwards, alongside a wall of books, flailing his arms trying to maintain his balance.

He failed horribly at the task.

He got to his feet, rubbing his head, mumbling something about how even the dust camouflaged itself into the colors of the walls, and how he should get rid of unwanted stock more often. He picked one of the books, one that looked like an ancient grimoire of spells, and started reading.

"Dungeons and Dragons. Hmm, could be interesting..."

* * *

"I tell you, it was a stroke of luck that I leaned on that wall. There's tons of fun to be had with this game! Plus, we got all the expansions so there's even more things we can do! So, come on guys...please!"

Otogi had been talking about this for an hour, failing in his task of convincing the trio of Yugi, Jounouchi and Honda to come and play said game at his house, on saturday night. So far, only Yugi, who was always up for any sort of game, seemed genuinely interested, Honda had plans with his bike that night (mainly polishing it), and Jounouchi was being his stubborn self.

"Aw, come on guys, it'll be fun, and we haven't had time to ourselves ever since these crazy adventures started to happen to us, I think we all deserve a nice break, right?"

Thus, Yugi had spoken, which was enough for Jou.

"Oh, all right, I'll go, but that doesn't mean I'll enjoy it!"

Otogi was satisfied with that answer, as he knew Jounouchi would enjoy it very much, now there was a bit of a pickle. Otogi couldn't think of any possible way to convince Honda to come, as he seemed to be obsessed with his motorcycle at the moment. Otogi knew that Honda had his moments where he needed to be alone with his baby, but this definitely wasn't the best moment for him to want that kind of evening.

"Honda, your bike's shinier than Yugi's puzzle, why do you want it to be polished again? You've been doing it for the past week! Don't you think you should give it a break? You're going to scrape off the paint from the reservoir! Just...come with us saturday, okay?" said Otogi, who was getting a bit irate about Honda's behavior.

Honda looked at his bike, then at Yugi's puzzle. He sighed, as Otogi was right.

"Okay, I'll be there on saturday..."

He trailed off, as Otogi returned to his game store, and the trio waited until the week-end.

* * *

It was saturday night, at Otogi's residence. Otogi had revised all of the rules, made charts for character creation, he even had photocopied equipment tables and various other things, so that the player's guide wouldn't get torn in two by two people vowing to fight for it.

All there needed to be was for the rest of the guys to show up.

The faint doorbell rang, as Otogi ran down the stairs to answer, since his dad wasn't home (and he hadn't been there for a few weeks, which was getting to worry Otogi...though only a small bit, since he was occupied with the game store) and that it was the correct thing to do when you invited people over to your house.

In the doorframe stood Yugi, the "King of Games", as he was otherwise known.

"Oh, hello Yugi, you're the first one here!"

"Really?"

"Yeah, we should start on making your character before the others arrive, okay?"

They went back upstairs, where waited a pile of paper, books and dice. Otogi explained the character archetypes to Yugi, on how he could be a warrior, a monk, a barbarian, a cleric, a magician...

"Ooh! I like that one! I want to be a magician!"

Otogi was not surprised.

"Well, then you have to choose your race."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Well, there's all sorts of races in the world of Dungeons and Dragons. There's humans, of course, but there's also elves, they're a bit more charismatic and intelligent, but they're weaker than the other races, then, there are dwarves, who are a strong and sturdy race, but are small. There's also halflings, who are very agile and sturdy, but are also small and are often mistaken for children, even with their hairy feet. Gnomes are those little people that like to play tricks. Half-Elves are an hybrid between elves and humans, much like half-orcs are an hybrid of humans and orcs."

"Uh...okay. I want to be an half-elf!"

"Just write it down on your character sheet."

Yugi picked up the pencil, wrote down "Half-elf" and "Magician", then asked for what else he needed to do.

"You need to roll your stats using three six-sided dice. There's some on the table."

Yugi silently picked up the dice, rolled his stats, and then, asked for what to do.

"You assign each number to a statistic. Like Strength. Since you're a magician, Intelligence is your primary stat, so you should put your highest number there."

"Okay!"

Yugi did as he was told. After that, Otogi told him about skills and money, and the spells he could start with.

"But these spells are so weak!"

"I know, but everyone needs to start somewhere, right?"

Yugi agreed, so he chose the spells he thought would be more useful, and then, his character was finished.

"Not quite finished, I'm afraid, Yugi...you still need to pick a name for your character!"

"But wouldn't Yugi suffice?"

Otogi was stumped. He didn't really expect this kind of question, and the book really didn't mention it.

"Yeah...but you're roleplaying someone else, so you should give them another name!"

"Oh, I didn't think of it that way. Then I'll be...Takuma the magician!"

"Has a nice ring to it! I like." was Otogi's comment.

At which point, the doorbell rang. By deduction, he thought it would be Honda, as he had the fastest mode of transportation. He was wrong, Jounouchi was standing there, looking happy to just be there, but at the same time, disappointed they'd be doing something foreign. He walked up to Otogi, they exchanged greetings, and Otogi explained to him how to make his character. Jounouchi decided he would be an elven warrior, which, Otogi thought, was most definitely obvious.

Then, a scream of horror followed. Alongside a "Get off the sidewalk, you hooligan!"

Fear came into the hearts of the three boys, as they imagined the scene perfectly.

"Honda!" the three screamed in unison.

They rushed towards the door, looking at whatever Honda was doing, and he was effectively going over 70 km/h, on the sidewalk. He fortunately hit the brakes before crashing into Otogi's home, which would have been difficult to explain to his dad.

"Hey guys! How's it shaking?"

They were shaking with horror, as Honda almost ran over them.

"How d'you like my driving?"

"Honda you moron! You almost killed us all!"

Jounouchi never really liked Honda when he was driving. Sure, Honda was a good driver. He only had this love for neckbreaking speed and instinctive piloting which made Jounouchi run away in terror whenever Honda tried to give him a lift.

"Anyway, come in, I'm going to explain how to make your character, and I was waiting for you to arrive so I could explain how to play."

* * *

The table was tidy, sheets were in front of the players, and everyone was ready to begin. Otogi was the dungeon master, who would be running this game, Yugi, as mentioned above was Takuma the half-elven magician, Jounouchi was Wang Lang the elven warrior, and Honda was Mondoki the human war priest.

"Surprisingly enough, Honda didn't pick a barbarian." Otogi said.

"Hey! I resent that!" was Honda's answer, "Anyway, do you have anything to drink? I'm getting thirsty over here..."

Otogi flumped his hand on his forehead.

"I knew I forgot something!"

At that, Honda sprung up to his seat, his arm in the air, his finger pointing to the yellowish-white ceiling.

"Never fear, for the GUREETO HONDA is here!" declared Honda, in a mix of Japanese anime and American cartoons.

"Okay, then the great Honda's going to take this 20 bucks and will get us something to drink and something to munch on."

Otogi handed twenty smackers to Honda, who pocketed it and went to start his motorbike.

"Consider me already gone." was what he left the house with. The others got a feel for the system by making mock battles. As soon as they could hear the sign of incoming pain that was Honda's motorbike, they could also make out something else from the noise. It was a bad imitation of what americans called "Engrish".

"BIIRU RUN!"

Yugi was confused, Jounouchi didn't believe it and did what he does often, laugh, and Otogi was horrified, with good reason. Next, we will follow Honda.

* * *

Honda had stopped at the local convenience store, searching for everything they would need to have a good time. Basically, beer and munchies. He looked at the price, and then at the number of bottles he would get for such a price.

"I guess I'll have to pool in some money, since the stuff costs a lot. It'll be worth it though, especially if I can see the others drunk. Otherwise, I'm just going to spice up the game a little. Hmm...let's see. How much do we need? I need 6, I'll estimate Yugi at 3, and both Otogi and Jou at 4, maybe 5 for one, which gives us...18 beers. Dammit!"

Honda picked up a 12-pack and a 6-pack, then went onto the other kind of drinks, such as punches and juice. He picked up a few (he didn't want them to have too much alternative, otherwise he'd be left with a lot of beer.) and some chips, and went to pay, obviously.

"Are you 20?" asked the clerk, who looked younger than Honda.

"Sure I am!" said Honda, sure of himself, as if he actually did it thousands of times before, when it wasn't really the case.

"Can I see some ID please?"

Honda grabbed his wallet and showed them a forged driver's license.

"So...you're Kiyotada Kenshiro."

"Of course."

The clerk waited, looked at Honda, and waited again.

"Good enough for me. It'll be 34,75$."

Honda paid, got his change back, loaded the food and beverages onto his bike, and then rolled on back to Otogi's home, singing a bad enough rendition of Bad To The Bone.

* * *

Honda rang the doorbell, again, as Otogi opened the door, something he was getting tired of doing as Honda shoved the bags of food he bought and the beverages into his arms, saving the beer for him to transport.

"Ta-da! And Honda's back with the stuff! No need to thank me."

"I just hope you didn't..."

Otogi looked at what Honda was unpacking.

"...you did."

Honda grinned at Otogi, who just couldn't believe it.

"You spent the twenty on beer!?"

"No, the twenty was spent on munchies and non-alcoholic beverages. The beer comes from my own pocket, and since I'm such a generous soul, I even got you guys some!"

Otogi flumped his hand on his forehead, again, and shook his head, thinking mostly about hurting very very badly the biker boy, in ways we will not recollect here, as the author doesn't want to make his audience cry'.

"Just...haul your ass back in, please, you're embarassing me!"

Honda did exactly just that as Otogi put the refreshments in the fridge, the munchies on the table, and the evil glare on the Honda. Our red-jacketed biker boy sat down aside Jou, putting down the two packs of beer, cracking one open and taking a swig.

"God, Honda, man, I didn't believe you'd actually do it! I thought it was all a joke!"

"Believe it you should have, my son, your lack of faith almost makes me want to give you no beer."

Jounouchi acted shocked at this revelation as Yugi was laughing at the poor role-playing these guys were doing, and Otogi was just thinking that these two were pathetic beyond any sort of relief.

"No! Please! Not the beer!"

Honda looked at Jounouchi, and laughed hard.

"That'd be too cruel. Here, take this."

He handed him a bottle, unlike Honda though, he actually read what the bottle had written on it before drinking. First of all, he noticed that it wasn't Japanese beer, which unsettled him greatly as he had heard that other countries' beers were higher in alcohol proof. Especially since Jounouchi never had a drink before, and he knew that Honda didn't either, as they just acted tough to impress the ladies. He used the smell test, and as far as he was concerned, it didn't smell all that bad, so he went for a drink. Tasted good too, which was the most surprising thing of all.

"Hey! This stuff is great!" remarked Jou.

"My friends deserve the best, that's what I've always said!"

"Bullshit. You just picked one at random. Don't think I don't know how you work, Honda."

That was Otogi, the one Honda thought would be the most open to such an experience with alcohol.

"I've got some for you, too, you know."

To that, Otogi slapped Honda behind the head and laughed.

"I know that, and I'd have kicked you out if you didn't get some for all of the guys. You can't be greedy, even if it's your money!"

So Honda tossed him one, which Otogi catched. He uncapped it open but let it stay there, as they had a game to begin, and Yugi was growing impatient.

Although as far as Honda was concerned, this was just the beginning of a very interesting night...

* * *

"We start in the village of Shogoth, where there had been reports of raids by green monsters with pointy and sharp knives. You, smelling the accumulation of riches and the feeling of righteousness if you could find the lair and kill the monsters, in addition to a reward, decided to investigate. In the city, there are a lot of peasants, a blacksmith, a tavern and a general store, what do you do?"

All three were puzzled, but Yugi had a good idea.

"I'm going to go see the merchant in the general store, maybe he has an idea."

"What about you two?" asked Otogi.

"Uh, we'll follow him, I mean, we're his escort, right?" answered Jou as Honda was occupied finishing his first beer.

"That's damn right." continued Honda.

"Aww...thanks guys! That really means something to me!"

"You enter the store as the merchant greets you with a cheerful "Hello!", what do you do?"

"Greetings!" Yugi, erm, Takuma said.

"Hello." Wang Lang, Jou's character, said.

"Yo." was pretty much Honda, and not Mondoki, who didn't understand the concept of roleplaying. Otogi cringed at the introduction of popular culture in a medieval setting, but he let that slide for now, as Honda needed to adapt.

"What can I do for you?" said the merchant.

"We're travelling adventurers and we've heard you've had a problem with green monsters. We'll slay the monsters for you!" said Takuma, ever the cheerful mage.

"Ohhhh! So you are the adventurers I've heard about! Please! Everything I try to order from the town over at the request of the villagers, and every sending of food we've sent the town has been attacked by monsters! Can you help us?"

"Sure we can! I'm always up to kicking some monster butt..."

Otogi glared at Honda.

"...for the Lord of war!"

Otogi smiled and nodded at Honda. Honda uncapped his second beer, and emptied the contents of one subtly into a glass, and slid it over to Yugi, who decided to drink it, thinking it was some soda. Jou and Otogi quietly and slowly drank their beer.

"Ahhh! Thank you adventurers, please, accompany the next convoy to the next town. If you can find where these monsters come from and exterminate them, I'll be so grateful, I'll even pay you triple what I'm ready to pay!"

"What are you ready to pay anyway, merchant?" asked Wang Lang.

"Fifty gold pieces."

Jou, Yugi and Honda looked at each other, and nodded.

"Then it's settled. Fortunately, you won't have to wait long as the convoy will depart soon."

Jou got ready to rumble by finishing his beer, digging into Honda's stash grabbing another one. Honda followed Jou by chugging down the rest of his under the skeptical eyes of Otogi, who hoped he wouldn't need to deal with a drunken Honda later on. Otogi just unparched his throat with a drink as he continued his dungeon mastering.

* * *

"The trip is pretty much an uneventful one as you continue towards the other town. However, you see three green skinned humanoids in front of you, who are barring the way. They seem to be talking an unknown language. Does anyone know how to speak ork in your group?"

They all looked on their character sheets, and indeed, no one took that language. As the convoy showed no sign of stopping, the green creatures attacked!

"Okay, guys, roll initiative."

They did. Yugi got a 14, Jou, a 4, and Honda a 20.

"Wow, Honda, you're fast!" was Yugi's comment to the whole situation. As stated, Honda was the first one to actually do anything in the fight.

"I kick ass in His name!" said our out-of-character war priest, who was of course referring to his god.

Mondoki executed a flying kick onto one of the green monsters. Honda rolls...

...a 18, he hits for 3 damage, in addition to his strength bonus, the monster is knocked out.

"Whoo! I rock!"

"Honda! Can't you stay in character?"

Honda blinked, and stopped caring for a bit.

"This calls for a celebration!"

Honda took a long drink, and laughed at nothing in particular.

"Let's go back to the game, okay? Yug, it's your turn."

"I cast Magic Missile on one that's still standing!"

"Okay, then, roll your damage."

Yugi took a four-sided die'' and rolled. He got a 4, which equals, for this spell, at 5 points of damage, effectively killing the ork.

"Jou, you notice that the ork, seeing that his two companions are down, is fleeing."

"I'm going after him!"

"Wait, Jo...I mean, Wang!"

Yugi corrected himself resulting in making Honda roll into laughter.

"Hey, Jou, he called you wang."

"Yeah, dumbass, 'cause that's my character's name!"

Jou put his sheet in Honda's face.

"See, it's written here, Wang Lang!"

Otogi snickered as Honda wondered why Jou picked such a sexually suggestive name, or rather, a name that evoked a certain part of the male anatomy. Honda decided to drown his wondering in the rest of the bottle, taking yet another one after that.

"Hon, you should stop drinking now, I don't want you driving drunk."

Honda tried, in his state, to understand what was going on, but the only thing that stayed in his mind was that Otogi called him "Hon"

"Did you just call me your honey?"

Otogi was taken aback by that question, especially since Honda seemed dead serious.

"No, I didn't, Honda, Hon is the short term of Honda, right?"

"Yeah, I guess you're right. Just wanted to know. I mean, I have the right to know if you've got a crush on me, right?" Honda said while smiling. Otogi returned to the game without even thinking about that, just as if it was a learned process.

And Honda shut up, and there was much rejoycing. (Yay.)

* * *

"You follow the ork until the ork runs into a cavern, what do you do?"

"Did the others follow me?"

"Yes, they did, but they're not here yet, what do you do?"

Jou thought of the following two scenarios. He imagined a chibi Celtic Guardian running in the cavern and getting slowly mutilated by orks.

"Well, that's out of the question." he told himself. His second thought process featured another chibi Celtic Guardian, but it stayed there to wait for its compatriots, the chibi Dark Magician and the chibi...well, Honda.

"I think I'll stay and wait." finally said Jou.

"You two eventually arrive, what do you do?"

They argued amongst themselves for a bit as to who should lead, and eventually, Jou entered, followed by Honda, with a torch, and Yugi, behind, as he wasn't the most powerful of fellows.

"You trek through the caverns when the roads splits in two. You can go left, or you can go right."

The group talked, and they went left. Otogi eventually described in excruciating detail the room they were in, and he also slid in a word or two about the two orks there. The orks, of course, went to attack our heroes. The author not wanting to go into dice mechanics this time, will only mention that the heroes easily won, and that Jou had finished drinking his second beer of the night, and had tossed Otogi another one. Honda was sipping his in tranquility, since he sensed he wasn't all there, yet eventually finishing it. Since he was still thirsty, well, you guessed it, he wanted another one. It took a minute, and a whole bunch of laughter as Honda tried to pick one from the obviously almost full 12-pack. Otogi snickered, but wondered what kind of effect a drunken Honda would have on his game.

"Then again, he thought, Civics don't drink."'''

Where does that leave Yugi?

Yugi had finished his a long time ago, the only reason as to why he hadn't asked for another was that he had guessed it wasn't a soda, and didn't trust Honda enough to let him give him some real soda, so instead of just asking for something to drink, he simply got up and filled his glass.

* * *

Eventually, they cleared the dungeon, got back to the village to collect their reward, and basically bought other stuff for adventuring. Otogi gave them all a level, and Yugi tried to learn some more spells. Jou bought better armor, and Honda, by heavy influence of Otogi, had to sacrifice a part of his reward to his god. AFter that though, both Jou and Honda were getting way out of their minds, and let me tell you that it wasn't all pretty.

Which led to the following scene.

Jou and Honda's characters decided to go to the pub, since they were well-equipped and were done for the night. Otogi grinned and sighed, as he knew he didn't like where this was going, but he knew the results would be extremely funny.

"Now that we've finished our adventure, my dear Wang..." said Honda, roleplaying, Otogi knew that was an effect of the alcohol.

"Yeah, Hon?"

"...it's time for ALE AND WHORES!"

"Whoo-hoo!"

"Uh, guys, there are no whores in the pub, it's a small village, there aren't any." said Otogi, describing the scene while laughing very hard, Yugi following him in suit.

"Aww man...but you know, Otogi, you can be my whore! My very own sexual fulfilling person-type thingy!"

Otogi felt two things. Embarrassment, and...lust?

"Okay, that's it. Anyway, the game's over for now, we can resume when these two aren't morons."

Yugi giggled at Jou, who had fallen off his chair.

"But Otogiiiii...I was having fuun!"

Yugi approved Otogi's decision, because these two were simply out of it. Yugi got ready to leave when Otogi asked him a strange request.

"Uh, Yugi, could you sleep here tonight? I think I'm going to have my hands full with these two, and I'd appreciate the help. Sorry for the inconvenience..."

"I'd be happy to help." said Yugi, looking at the drooling Honda on Otogi's shoulder.

"Thanks, Yugi. You can have the guest room with Jou, and I'll watch over Honda, hoping he won't do anything stupid."

Honda took great offense to what Otogi said, in fact, he backed off from Otogi's sexy shoulder and pouted, arms crossed.

"I never do schtupid thingz!" was his only answer.

* * *

Yugi, with the help of Otogi, set Jou in his bed, and swiftly proceeded to join him in a manly, non-sexual fashion. Which was basically not touching Jou at all. However, Jounouchi, lovable blonde guy, had other plans. He turned around, and wrapped his arm around Yugi.

"Mmm...warmness."

Yugi didn't care. He did feel a little worried about Jou though, as Jou was feeling him up.

"Mmm...soft skin..."

NOW, Yugi was worried. He turned around to look at Jou, who seemed half-asleep.

"Jou! What's the meaning of this?"

"Whuzu?" was the answer.

"Stop...touching me like that!"

"Aww...you don't like it?" asked Jou, seemingly sad. "I knew it! I knew I wasn't good enough for you, Yugi! An' now you reject me just as if I was nothing! I'll just...uh...!"

And Jou started crying.

"Jou! Jou! Don't cry...don't cry. It's not that. I just didn't expect you to be..."

"Be what?"

"Well, you know...attracted, to me."

"Yeah! I juss lurv the way you're so innocent and stuff..."

"Jou..."

"Yugi! Give Jou a hug!"

And he did.

* * *

As much as Otogi insisted, Honda refused to lay down, saying something strange like "I lay down for no man! You want what's mine? You gotta beat me!"

Otogi tried to silence him, saying he was only doing this for Honda's own good. Honda looked like he was about to fall down, but he picked himself right up and slurred something out. It sounded like : "...but nobody EVER beats me!"

"Honda, damn you, go to bed!"

"But I want to stay up."

"You're drunk, you need to go to sleep."

"Will my whore come with me?"

"Stop calling me that!"

"But admit you're attracted to me, heh, heh? Come on! Just say it, I won't mind, I already find you dead sexy enough as is..."

Otogi denied, but Honda cupped his right hand on Otogi's privates.

"If ya don't like me then what's this then?"

"Okay, so maybe I like you, just a little."

"A little? You look like you want me to fuck you hard."

"I don't! Now let's go to sleep."

"Shh...don't worry. I don't kiss and tell..."

And slowly but surely, Honda ripped off his clothing and pushed a willing Otogi on the bed...

* * *

The bright, chirping sun passing through Otogi's blinds woke Honda up as he got dressed, not looking at the form that was in the bed he just slept in. All he knew is that he had a headache and that he needed to get dressed, fast. So he did. After that, he went out of the room to see if anyone else was awake. He vaguely remembered the last night, except the end, so he wondered if there was anyone around that could fill him in.

Fortunately, he found Jou and Yugi up. Unfortunately, they were kissing passionately, removing any chance, for now, of Honda finding out what happened.

"Wait a sec...Jou and Yugi, kissing?"

The truth finally hit in, the two had slept together last night. That much he could guess. Jou turned his head around, noticing Honda was up, and looked even more worse for wear than he.

"Whoa, Honda, what happened man?"

"I don't know, I feel this strange feeling of satisfaction."

The two looked at themselves for a bit.

"SCORE!" they both yelled in unison.

"Ahem!"

Yugi felt his presence known, as Jou excused himself for acting like a juvenile moron. Then, they kissed.

"Erm, Jou, I didn't know you were..."

"Yeah, neither did I, I woke up this morning, nude, and then I looked at Yugi, and I realized what I did. When reality kicked in, I guess it's not all that bad. I mean, sure, it's different, but..."

Jou realized something.

"You fucked Otogi last night!"

Honda looked at the room he slept in, and a very nubile, and angry, Otogi got out of it, holding what can be interpreted as "his ass" and putting upon Honda a rather evil glare.

"Honda..."

And Honda fled from his naked angel, as he knew that said naked angel was about to get medieval on his ass.

-----

'I have read the "120 Days of Sodom", believe me, I know more about certain perverted and murderous thoughts than I want to.

''Yes, 4-sided die exist.

'''Yes, that's an HORRIBLE pun.

And now...to play a little game.

In the course of the fanfic, I have littered little references to movies or different animes, nothing major that is completely obvious, but it's more of a thing I tend to do at times. Just see if you can catch all of the references. If you do, well, I don't know what I'll do, but if you like this fic I guess you could request one if you want. As to why I do this? I most sincerely doubt anyone will catch them all, or even half. Just e-mail me at omega_nineball@hotmail.com with the answers if you want them, or just leave a review! All in all, there are 4. One comes from an anime. Two come from movies (One is horror, the other is comedy) and the last one comes from a webcomic (just citing the author is enough).