Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ The School-Theater ❯ The Cast ( Chapter 2 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Title: School-theater 2

Author : Ashray

Many thanks to Yokai-Braut who again Betaed for me. That’s a lot of work since whenever I get my chapter back from her I see all the errors that I’ve made. It seems that no matter how hard I try, I’m always at war with the damn grammar. And apparently I'm losing that war too.


Warnings:  Anzu-bashing, lots of swearing, horny Yamis, insane teachers…

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2. Chapter: The Cast
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The next day, everyone met back up in the theater room, like the polite and respectful boys they were.
Somewhere deep down at the bottom of their hearts.
All of them were SO happy as they eagerly awaited the beginning of their next class and the arrival of their most beloved teacher.
Peace and quiet filled the room, because everyone present truly liked their classmates too much to fight:

“Go away, damn mutt! You’re in my way!”
“Then quit stepping on my feet with your clodhoppers!”
“Some people need more space than you; we can’t all be little dwarfs like Yugi!”

“Don’t you dare to insult my Aibou, you walking iceberg!”
“Yeah, Kaiba, listen to Yami, or he will stab you with those dangerous spikes on his head!”

“Like you can talk, you should have to get permission for that thing you call hair, psycho!”
“Malik, give me the rod, that thief needs a beating! And since when do you help the pharaoh anyway?”
“No! And get your hand out of my pants, it's not in there!”

“That’s just a matter of opinion! But, you're right, this one won't be of much use against Baku! But it would help with my boredom, Hikari-Pretty.”

“Don’t call me Baku, you maniac! And I don’t help twerps! Aside from dieing of course.”

“Didn’t I tell you to stay out of my way, puppy? Or should I call the dogcatcher!?”
“Asshole, get lost in a deep hole!”

“Yami, please stop strangling Bakura!”
“But Aibou, he bit me!”
“No, that was our psycho here!”
“And I won’t ever do it again! You taste terrible! Urgh…”
“Your own fault, I don’t pity you!”
“My Hikari-Pretty tastes muuuucchhhhh better!”

“Don’t come near me! I’m warning you, I’m armed!”
“But you said you don’t have the rod with you just a minute ago!”

“Bakura, stop staring at Yugi's Puzzle, Yami is already growling at you!”
“Yeah, and why should I care? But fine, I don’t want to trample you!”

“At least Yami doesn’t try to steal everything, only to fail at it miserably every time before running away with his tail between his legs, scared out of his mind and ending up sobbing in some dark corner!”

“Wow, wait a minute, since when did you grow a backbone, Yugi?! Watch out or you'll get lost under the carpet!”

“I’m perfectly fine with my height! And mountain-air doesn't have enough oxygen anyway, it's very bad for the brain. You’re a very good example of that!”
“Very good, Aibou! Beat him up! Show him who‘s boss!”
“What? Our great pharaoh doesn’t know what to say anymore, so he lets his midget do the talking? Inhaled too much hairspray, or something?”
“And you look as if you’d just touched an electric socket! Typical blond”

“Hey! I’m blond too!”
“Sure, puppy, and just as stupid!”
“I’m the only one allowed to call him puppy, Malik!”
“Right, only he is… Hey, wait! Not right! I‘m not a dog! Don’t call me that!”

“All right, doggy, don’t you have a bone that you need to bury somewhere?”

“What in the devil's name is going on here?!”

The 'peace and quiet' was suddenly interrupted by their screaming teacher. (^_^)
(Why do teachers always have to do that?)
She had been trying to say something for a while now, but no one had even noticed her arrival, since they were too caught up in their ‘discussion’.
Quickly, they all got up, took their hands from each other, dusted their clothes clean and stared at Mrs. Gandon, the room was now completely silent.
“So? What do you want?” Bakura growled. “We're busy, you hopefully have something important to say, for your own sake!”

“So, my dear students, as I hope you all remember, we want to perform a play soon.”
“Want? You mean we don’t have to?”
“No, my white-haired friend, I mean that you will all do your best, you'll stop getting on my nerves, you'll play the role I tell you to play, and you all will do great!
You'll also keep your hands to yourself, you won’t fight with each other, you won’t try to kill each other and you will talk to each other like civilized people and not like a bunch of Neanderthals!”
She said with a pointed glare at her students.

Scowling, Bakura went to the window and opened it.
Marik went to the door.
“What are you doing now!?”  She asked shocked and confused over the sudden departure.

“Exactly what you just told us: All of us should stay in different parts of town.”
“I never said that! Now come back so we can get started!” she bellowed angrily “We already lost yesterday, maybe at least today we can get something done.”

//I know a thing or two I'd like to do with you, Aibou// Yami purred to Yugi through their mind link, along with some rather explicit pictures, all of them involved a trembling, sweating Yugi, a big, ruffled bed and absolutely no clothes.
Yugi turned red in an instant and turned around swiftly, but that didn’t do a thing against the pictures in his head.
/Yami! Not now, damn it! Don’t you think that has gotten us into enough trouble for now?!/
//And what about later?// unnoticed, he stroked Yugi's behind.

Calming down, Mrs. Gandon, who didn’t notice their talking, smoothed down her dress, before taking hold of a stack of thin, yellow books, that she had brought with her and laid on her table when she had walked into the room.

“In here is your text, you need to memorize it before we can really start with the rehearsal.
But I know that won't be much of a problem for you. You’re clever boys, so you should be familiar with it by the day after tomorrow. You don’t need to know all words exactly for the moment, but at least the plot.”

And with that she began to give everyone a book.
Bakura gave her one of his darkest glares when she was standing in front of him.
At that she friendly tousled his hair with a bright smile: There, there. No need for such an angry face. I have something special in mind for you…”

“Great” the tomb robber mumbled. "I'm thrilled."
Everyone waited for him to lunge for her throat and kill her, only the poor teacher didn’t know how close to her end she really was.
She happily passed out her books, before dropping the bomb:
“I want for you and your tricolor-haired friend over there to play the leading parts!”

“What?” Yugi yelped startled.
All of them turned to look at the smallest of them, but he was just looking wide eyed at the title of the book in his hands like he’d seen a ghost.
Nobody beside him had looked until now, since they had been too busy with Mrs. Gandon and her upcoming death. But after Yugi’s reaction, they looked.
Ryou too became wide eyed, Malik glanced from Yami to Bakura with a grin, and Joey laughed so hard that he fell to the floor rolling around and crying.

But Yami and Bakura were now busy with a new discussion, because suddenly the thought of being here wasn’t all that bad anymore.
“It can be nothing but a success if I’m the lead character here!”
“Get the tomatoes out of your ears, she said I have the leading part!”
“You’re dreaming, wake up, idiot!”
“You’re the idiot, I’m better than you.”
“We will see about that!”
“You bet! I’ll act you in the ground!”
(And suddenly, they want to act!)

But before Yugi or Ryou could stop the screaming spirits they were separated by the woman:
”Both of you will play the leading roles, not just one of you. So be nice to each other, you'll have to work and act together!”

She pointed at Yami:
”You are Romeo!”
Then she pointed at Bakura:
“And you are Juliet!”

Joey, who had just gotten up from the floor, fell down again, followed by Malik, who accompanied him in his laughing fit.
Yami, Bakura and Marik couldn’t understand what was so funny about it and were just blinking a little lost, while they waited for an explaining from their Hikaris. All they really got was that it had something to do with the yellow… thing … in their hands.

Bakura slowly skimmed through the book: “Hey, there aren’t any pictures in here! How boring! I don’t like it!”
Yami had the little book upside down, while Marik bite a corner out from it and started chewing.
“Hmmm… tastes weird…”
The former pharaoh snorted spitefully, and Bakura turned to him: ”Oh, and you can read that, or what?”
“Of cause I can, I’m a pharaoh, not some filthy stupid thief!”
“Filthy? Filthy? I’ll give you filthy, you broken off lawn gnome!”
“At least I’m not looking as if there was a cloud of dust swirling around my head! I bet your brain just sneezed and now the dust is coming out your ears!”
“And I bet if I threw you against the wall you would stick there, with what you call your 'hair'!”
“At least I have a working brain beneath it and not just a dark empty hole!”
“Then use that birdbrain of yours and read for us what stands in there, Mr. Big-mouth!”
“Don’t call me Big-mouth, you loser!”
Determined, Yami opened the book, even with all the fighting (please note that he is still holding it upside down) and started to read with steady voice:
“Once upon a time in a land far, far away from here there was a princess,“ he ‘read‘, until he reached the last page, “… and they live happy and contend until the end of their days.
And if they didn’t die, they are still living until today…!
So what do you say now? Can I read, or can I read?”

/Umm, Yami? Hate to tell you, but this is not what the book says!/ Yugi told him carefully, but Yami was just grinning at him friendly.
//I knows that, Aibou. But he,// and he nodded to Bakura //doesn’t know that. And that is enough for the moment. And this is how most of your fairytales work anyway, so what?//

“What!” the thief suddenly snapped. “You pointed at me, I’ve seen it! So you were talking about me! I want to know what! I want to know, I want to know now!”
And with that he grabbed the puzzle-spirit by his collar and shook him.
“I want to know, get it? You were talking about me, so tell me what you said!”
“Why should I care about what you want! I won’t tell you, and there is nothing you can do about it!”
And he stuck out his tongue at the thief king with a cheeky grin.

“And these two are supposed to play the leading roles?” Malik asked doubtfully, and the poor teacher nodded enthusiastically: “Of course! They are perfect, can’t you see that?” she confirmed his fears, while the other two were screaming from the top of their lungs who was going be the better one on the stage.

By now Joey had finally been able to stop his mad laughing and got up from the floor. Gasping for air he leaned against Kaiba and breathed deeply without noticing against what he was leaning.
Kaiba just stared down at the blond without saying a single world, but also without taking a step away and letting him fall.

“I wonder if they will still be that delighted when they find out that they'll have to play a loving couple.” Kaiba mumbled and Joey couldn’t help but cackle at that: “Yes, or when Bakura finds out that he has to wear a dress!”
“Maybe he will simply do nothing, if Ryou wants him to do it!”
“Yeah, he just needs to look all cute and fluffy, and the thief does whatever he wants him to do!”
“And that is something you just noticed now!? Then you really are as stupid as you look, puppy, because it has been like that forever! And not only with these two!”
“I’ve said it once, and I'll say it again: Don’t. Call. Me. Puppy!”
“I just say what I see!”
Joey turned around to argue with him, when he noticed just how close they were and stared up into blue eyes, faces only few short inches apart from each other.

“Bakura is a girl?” Marik asked all of a sudden with sparkling eyes, as he appeared between both of them and they had to take a step back. The insane one happily clapped his hands and jumped up and down:
“I want to tell him, can I? Can I? Please, Malik, say that I can!” he begged to his light. That was a great chance to tease the thief, and he couldn't let it pass.

“I’m not a girl, you perverted psycho!” Bakura, who had overheard the last part of their conversation, yelled, but he couldn’t say anymore about it, as Yami pulled at his hair hard.
“Pay attention when I'm talking with you, tomb robber!”
“For that you have to say something important for once! And take you dirty hands out of my beautiful hair!”
“You call that beautiful?!” Yami mockingly asked, and they both forgot about Marik's comment, while Malik gave his Dark a blaming glare and tapped his foot impatiently:

“Did you have to interrupt the both of them just now?” and he gestured at Kaiba and Joey. “They were about to kiss each other! What would you do if someone was trying to stop you?”
“I would kill him, quickly and painfully, what else! Nobody gets in my way if I want to have my way with you!” and he finished with a teasing bite into the smaller ones neck.
“Hey!” Malik, Joey and Kaiba exclaimed simultaneously.

Malik because of the intimacy of the insane one, the other two because of his comment.
“We don’t want to kiss!”
“Why the hell should I kiss the mutt!?”
Malik gave a casual wink: “Sure, if you say so. Whatever.”
And he gave Joey a push in Kaiba’s direction: “You know you want to, so why fight it?”
Joey blushed a little as he stumbled against the brunet and was caught by him out of reflex before he could fall down.
But after that both of them immediately stepped apart and pretended nothing ever happened, and Marik snarled.

//Pig heads, they don’t have a clue what they're missing.//
And he buried his head in Malik’s soft hair while pressing himself against him, his hands around his waist.

Mrs. Gandon tried- and failed- desperately to separate Bakura and Yami from each other, until she saw that Marik had once again had his hands all over Malik and she stormed over to them.
Then she noticed Kaiba and Joey, who tried to glare each other to death and went to them.
At the same time, she was trying to convince Ryou and Yugi to pay attention, because they were laughing in a corner instead of reading the book.

Or at least pretending to pay attention.

None of them took their eyes away from his Dark, while they were laughing at the idea of Bakura playing the girl.
“Apparently, she isn't interested in the play's success, with them as leads.”
“And Romeo and Juliet of all things!”
“That means detention until the end of the year.”
“Or longer, if they keep doing that.”

At the same time, the teacher had made it so Kaiba and Joey wouldn’t speak to one another, after she said they should stop flirting with each other so much.
And the two blonds accompanied them into their corner watching Yami and Bakura, who just ignored every warning they got from their boyfriends, because they were so busy swearing and threatening each other.

“Hey, do you even know what Romeo and Juliet is about?”
That simple, innocent question caught the two angry spirits by surprise and had them freeze on the spot.
Yami had a fist full of white hair in his hand, while Bakura was chewing on a bit of Yami's black shirt. Both gave each other and then the Hikaris a clueless look.
Now the shorter ones definitely had their full attention.

“Treasures?” Bakura wondered.
“Duels?” Yami asked carefully.
“Riches?”
“Dignity?”
“ Tomb robbers!”
“Pharaohs!”
“Tomb robbers who steal from pharaohs!”
“Pharaohs who kill tomb robbers!"
And again they were in the middle of a heated fight, since each of them had his own idea of what an interesting story was about.

Sighing, the poor teacher turnes to the rest of the students:

“We will continue with you, until the two of them have calmed down a little. So please listen well now, this is important: Who is going to play which part!

I want Ryou to play Mercutio, one of Romeo's friends.”
Ryou smiled a little and Joey patted his shoulder
“Don’t worry, you will do fine.”

“Joey, you play Benvolio, Romeo's cousin and also one of his friends.”
“Yeah!”

“Yugi will be Tybalt, the ‘prince of cats’ and Juliet’s cousin.”
Malik and Joey snickered at that, because the part of a killer didn’t really fit the small, innocent Hikari. Beside Bakura being Juliet it was the biggest miscast she could make, and one of those days, she would notice that too.
Or maybe not…

“Malik is Dave Paris, the one who would marry Juliet if her father had anything to say about it.”

Immediately Marik hung on his Hikari’s neck and whined about how he didn’t want to share his precious Hikari-pretty with a stupid thief.
Malik was struggling like mad to get his insane boyfriend off his back, but sadly it wasn’t that easy. Marik just laughed happily and jumped on his back with his legs firmly around his waist.
He didn’t even let go of him when he let himself fall backwards against a wall.
That just earned him another bite into his neck and shoulder…
//I have you, Malik, and I'll never let you go!// he singsong-ed to the other, who sighed.
/I will never get rid of you, right?/
//Why the hell would you even want that?// Marik asked in wonder and licked over Malik’s cheek contentedly, who sighed again in answer and rubbed his forehead.
//You love me!//

Mrs. Gandon ignored that couple as well, like Bakura and Yami, who still/once again were fighting, complete with a big dust cloud and an arm or foot occasionally sticking out of it (like in comics, with knives and bombs too *g*)

“And I want Marik as the priest who holds the wedding ceremony and organizes the poison.”
“Yes!” Marik cheered at the word poison, while his lover moaned and with a loud “No!” put his hands over his face.
“Who can I poison?” he asked happily and eager under the paling gaze of the now very worried teacher: “Of course we don’t use real poison. That’s obvious!”

Needless to say that Marik was very disappointed, but his face lit up again as his Light lovingly rubbed over his arm.
“Don’t worry, maybe we can find some light poison that doesn’t kill anyone on the spot and someone you can kill and we wouldn't… She doesn’t need to know,” he whispered into his ear (What the hell… Malik! )

Joey watched the fighting spirits for a while, while Mrs. Gandon tried to talk Marik out of using real poison and killing someone, before he asked:
“Do they know that they are lovers?”
“What does it look like, puppy? Like some big love story?”
“I’m not a dog…”
And again those two began fighting, dust cloud surrounding them, while Marik jumped from one group to the other, cheering them on and laughing madly…

And the volume in the room was getting higher and higher…

Yami and Bakura were screaming at each other, Joey and Kaiba were screaming at each other, Marik was screaming at everyone and the Hikaris were screaming at their Yami’s.
It was no use, but that didn’t matter.

“Yami and Bakura are lovers!”

Everyone stared alarmed and unbelieving at Malik, and in the following silence, you could have heard a nail falling.
For a moment no one moved a finger.

*BOOM*

The door flew open and a brunet something stormed in squeaking and screeching and threw herself around Yami’s back.

“Yami-my-Yami-congratulation-you-are-of-course-the-be st-for-the-part-I’ve-just-heard-about-it-my-Yami-I-will-be-your-Julie t-and-then-we-will-show-them-all-what-a-happy-couple-looks-like-and-I-take- you-home-and-feed-you-and-bathe-you-and-I-will-love-you-forever-and-ever-an d-ever-and-never-let-you-go-….”

‘Oh god, please no!’

But nobody paid any attention to Anzu or listened to her brainless stupid jabbering.

Especially not Yami whose back she was still clinging to like mad, while he and Bakura slowly approached Malik and tried to surround him.
But the boy was faster and ran away, both angry Yamis hot on his heels.

“Take that back, Blondie!”
“That was a deadly insult!”
“Slander!”
“Defamation.”
“Come back, so we can kill you!”

And they chased the grinning Egyptian through the class (hey, didn’t we have that already).
Marik also followed them. “You better not hurt my poor Hikari-pretty, you rough, mean barbarians!”
Anzu was yet again murmuring how Yami was the best for the part of Romeo, and that she wanted to play Juliet no matter what…

Only the devil knew how she found out about all of that, most likely she was spying through the keyhole after she learned that Yami was in there.
Sadly, some details had completely escaped her:

The fact that Bakura had to play Juliet (either that, or he wouldn't see his Light as often)
Or that Yami was happy together and in love with Yugi. Which wasn’t a secret.
She just wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed.

Yami ran past Joey for the umpteenth time, when he suddenly was grabbed by the arm.

“Hey, Yami, just a minute, you have something ugly hanging there,” and he pulled Anzu from Yami's back and threw her into the corner carelessly like an old blanket, and she slid over the floor until she was stopped by the very hard wall.
“Thanks, man, I hadn’t noticed it!” Yami said with a shudder and he went after Malik again.


The girl lay there with a blissful smile: “Yami touched me that means we’re engaged” she sighed. (sorry, couldn’t resist the abridged quote)
Yugi snarled at her: “She will never learn…”

Mrs. Gandon gave Joey a disapproving look after the rough treatment of the poor girl and walked over to Anzu, who started whining and begging immediately, she wanted to play Juliet sooo badly, because it was that important for her future and the happiness of the world, and anyway, friends would do that for each other. (*blergh*).

She began weeping loudly when she learned that the part was already taken by Bakura, and that would not change:
“Because he is just perfect with that long, shiny hair, and his pretty face…”  (Sounds like he already has his first fan…)
After a lot of talking, Anzu was stopped from flooding the classroom with her tears, and the annoyed teacher promised her she could make the announcement at the beginning and the end of the show.
And that she could take care of the costumes and help backstage.
You could never have too many volunteers, after all.
Even when they are annoying like that.

The stupid girl was smiling widely, jumping up and down and would have hugged everyone, if they hadn’t been fast enough to get away from her in time.
Not that she cared, she just bounced back into her corner and took out her cell phone to spread the good news that she was in the play too.
But for some odd reason nobody answered her, so she filled their mailboxes with her crap, because the poor people couldn’t save themselves.

Yugi stood beside her and listened together with Ryou, while he tried to stand out of the way of the rambling others.
“She looks like you just told her that she could have Yami.”
“No, of course not! But Mrs. Gandon let herself get roped into it letting her stay. She is now the understudy for Bakura, in case he suddenly dies.”
“What?!”
“Oh, don’t worry, the possibility that someone managing to kill Bakura is as high as Marik taking over the world! And that means slim to none!”

“Hey! I heard that!” Marik, who had heard the last part, roared when they were passing by.

Suddenly Malik rushed to his fellow Hikaris and grabbed them by the shoulders and hid behind them. With a wide grin, he looked over their shoulders and stuck out his tongue at the Yamis in front of them:
“And now try to catch me! You two will safe me, right?” he whispered to his friends, who reassuringly nodded.
You can’t let a friend die just like that. At least not at school with so many witnesses! (*g*)
And for that, they both got a small kiss on the cheek from the blond, and they both blushed slightly.

“The teacher allowed Anzu to stay with us!” Yugi told them to change the topic, and in an instant a growl was heard from all of them, since everyone knew what that meant:
Endless rants about friendship and sick speeches of her love for Yami….

“But that's all right. It could be worse.” Yugi didn’t let them interrupt him.
All of them stared at him as if he was suddenly insane.
“What?”
“Are you crazy?”
“There are a few loose screws in that head of yours!”
“I’ll get the straight jacked, you call the doctor. He blew a fuse.”
“Don’t worry, Yugi, we will find someone who can repair you. It will be all right.”
(Is he a machine now?)

Everyone stared at the small Hikari who just blinked back at them with big, innocent eyes.
“What? I thought she could help behind the stage, with the costumes. Together with Malik. And Marik.
And power cables.
And sharp, pointy objects.
In the dark where no one sees…”

And the innocent blink turned into a very Yami-like grin.
A very Yami-Bakura-like grin to be precise.

And Malik and Marik started grinning, too, like psychos when they got what the short one tried to point out.
They took each other by the hand, started dancing in circle and sang:
“We can torture Anzu. We can torture Anzu…”

Bakura mumbled something ‘toddlers’, at that they took him in their middle and danced around him: “We can ….”
But the white-haired thief soon had enough of the two maniacs and smashed their heads together.

“Shut the fuck up! When I want to hurt someone, I don’t need to ask for permission, I just do it!”
He smashed their heads together again, just for fun and to reinforce his point.
And because he liked the sound of it.
“And I even less need to ask someone who is smaller then me!”

“Kura! Leave them alone, you hurt them!” came Ryou's angry voice from the side, and Bakura immediately let them fall as if he had just burned himself, and he strolled to his little Light.
“Don’t worry, they have thick heads, it's not that easy to break something in there.”
“That’s not a reason!” the small boy railed, and the others snickered at Bakura's face:
“What did you just say? Nobody who’s smaller then you can tell you what to do?!”
“Ryou is special!” the tomb robber defended himself.
//At least as long as I don’t intend to sleep on the couch//
At that Ryou couldn’t help but giggle a little and he patted his head:
/Good boy, Bakura, very good./

Marik chuckled and patted Bakura too:
“Nice doggy, be good and lay down!”
And again he danced around Bakura with his Hikari. Bakura soon snapped at them:
“Get lost, you crazy loser, before I forget myself!” but they didn’t care.
“Bakura is Ryou's little lapdog!”
“Do you jump trough rings at his command, too?”
"And walk around at a leash?"
“We can kill Anzu, and you can’t!”
“Because Ryou won’t allow it to you, poor Kura, poor little Kura…!”
“We can kill Anzu, we can kill Anzu!”

And so the big bad tomb robber grabbed the two Egyptians by the collar and dragged them out through the door. A few moments later he came back alone, grinning smugly.
And even with all the questions asked to him, he never told them what he did with the two tomb keeper. Not even sweet Ryou could get him to talk this time.

A short time later:

With a loud bang, the door flew open.

“You Ra-damned asshole! How dare you to bind me to the ventilator?!” Marik screamed pissed off, while he staggered towards the laughing thief king. He looked very ruffled and apparently he had a hard time walking a straight line and keeping his balance.
Apparently he didn’t just hang him up there, he also switched it on for a while.

“I gave you both a clear warning: Shut the hell up or I make you shut up!” he said with a satisfied smirk, while the others stared at him in horror.

After the third failed attempt to grab Bakura and throttle him, Marik had to give up for the time being. He couldn’t see him clearly, let alone kill him, since the world refused to stop spinning.
So he just looked around, before he found out what was missing: “Hey, you Bastard, where is my Hikari? I hope you didn’t hurt a single, soft hair on his pretty head!”

Before he could tell him what ugly and painful things he would do to him, the door flew open again (the thing should be broken by now!).

“If I get a hold of you, you are dead!” violet eyes darted around angrily, as barely suppressed laughter was heard.
Malik’s Hair was sticking out in all directions like Marik's, however, his was fluffy and puffy like a cloud and the boy smelled like Honey and Vanilla (my fabric softener).

“Ah, I see, the washing machine is finished. Did it spin-dry you? I hope you didn't lose too many brain cells... It wouldn't be good if you ended up as insane as Marik!”
“I will get you back, ring spirit, just wait and watch your back!”
“Right! Nobody messes with the Ishtars and gets away unscathed.”

Pouting, they settled down on a table, back to back and leant against each other to comfort after having been disgraced like that.
Marik brushed through Malik’s hair and tried to straighten it out a little, but he had to admit that the smaller one didn't smell bad.
He couldn’t hold back and buried his face in the sweet smelling, blond locks, as he dragged him onto his lap.
Marik sniffed at his hair again and looked as if he was on cloud nine; Malik was glaring at everyone, which made him somehow look like an angry little kitten, even if his darker side was the one who was purring.

That was the moment Mrs. Gandon chose to clear her throat loudly to get their attention.

Yami stared at the small yellow book unhappily. It still hadn’t vanished into air, and he was still supposed to read it…
That would have to wait till he was finished laughing at Malik’s new look…

“Yugi? Do I really have to read that?”
Bakura, too, didn’t seem to like the idea, but suddenly Ryou beamed at them:
“Hey, I have a much better idea. Last year, we watched that movie with our class…mmmmppppffffff!”

Before he could say anything else concerning the matter, Yugi was holding a hand over the albino’s mouth and shoved him into a corner.

“You don’t really want this, right?” he muttered, but Ryou just blinked at him blankly;
“What do you mean? I just wanted to tell them that there is a movie-version! You know, we watched it last year, together with the whole class, the one with that DiCaprio-guy. That would be much easier for us, and we don't need to listen to their whining because they have to read a book.”
“Yes, and what happens at the very beginning? A gas station explodes after a gunfight! Do you really want to show that to Marik or Bakura?”
Ryou's brown eyes widened as he recalled more scenes from the movie:
”No, that wouldn't be good. We better keep our mouths shut about it… We'll just read it aloud and make them listen, and threaten them with the couch if they don't listen…”
“That is certainly more secure. You know Marik. And Bakura enjoys explosions too. It's just not safe to let them watch it, and get their hopes up. They will think that they are really allowed to blow each other up, or use real guns!”

But sadly, their plan failed the second they returned to the others, seeing how all the Yamis were waiting for them with a smile.
“Aibou! You know what? Kaiba told us that there's a movie, so we won’t have to read that stupid book! Isn’t that great?” relieved, Yami threw his arms around his Light's neck and hugged him tightly.
The book went flying over his shoulder, and hit a growling Marik on the head.
“Isn’t that great! Kaiba even wants to give us the DVD’s tomorrow!” Yami smiled, while he generously ignored Marik's: “Hey, you’re crazy?”

“That’s great, thank you!” Joey said, relieved he didn’t need to read it, he gave Kaiba a quick hug, until he noticed what he was doing, and moved away blushing.
Ryou and Yugi both glared angrily at Kaiba: “Really? Is that so?!”
“That’s just great!” they mumbled threateningly, until they got themselves together again and smiled sweetly at the taller one:

“You know what? I just noticed that Kaiba still has no part assigned to him!” Yugi smiled, and the CEO looked at him, a little shocked. He really had hoped they would just forget about him so he could leave.
Ryou nodded eagerly: “You are right, Yugi! We have to change that!”
“Do you have any ideas, Ryou?”
“Of course I do, and I bet you too, Yugi!”

A little worried, Joey looked from one to the other. Somehow the whole harmless and sweet sounding talk sounded wrong to his ears.
As if they were plotting something.
Something horribly mean.
The blond shook his head. He was imagining things, because the both of them were probably the most harmless, innocent and friendly people in the whole town.
Even if their boyfriends sometimes walked a little out of line, that wouldn’t rub off on them.
Again Joey shook his head.
‘Damn paranoia!’

“I think Kaiba should play the nurse, who takes care of Juliet! Right, Ryou?”
“Absolutely, Yugi! And he should wear a dress!”
“Without a doubt, Ryou!”
“So we agree, Yugi?”
And the both of them shook hands as if they just made some kind of business deal, while the normally calm Kaiba paled noticeably!

“What? No way! I want to be one of the fathers, they don’t have much text! And they don’t have to wear dresses. And I know how it is to lead a family!”
“And where did you learn that? On TV?”
“Sure, in ’The Godfather’, as you can see.”
“So, who else agrees?”

Yugi and Ryou eagerly threw their hands up.
Yami and Bakura didn’t know what the question was about, but since their Hikaris were for it and Kaiba was that upset about it, they held up their hands as well. If Kaiba was against, it had to be good.

And Mrs. Gandon was enthusiastic about the idea and scribbled it down into her ever present clipboard at once, and with that, it was settled!
Kaiba would play the part of the nurse!

“I don’t want to play that!” complained Kaiba, but she just smiled at him:
“My dear boy. I thought we went through this! We are all on the same side, all of you will play along, and in return, you will have less detentions! How many times do I have to repeat myself?!”
Kaiba grumbled something under his breath, and Joey grinned at him: “So our great Kaiba will wear a dress!” he mocked, which only served to darken Kaiba's mood further.

Ryou and Yugi were glad the discussion was already past them, when:
“Yugi, tell me Marik was talking bullshit and I don’t have to pretend to be together with Bakura, right?”
Frightened, the thief king also glanced at his Hikari, when he remembered one of the reasons he was mad at the tomb keepers…
“I don’t want to do that! No way, no matter what you do! I! Won’t! Do! That!”

//And there's no way I going to wear a skirt!// he told Ryou trough their mind link.
/You did it when you were still alive!/
//That was several thousand years ago!//
Bakura stubbornly crossed his arms over his chest and pouted.

And in another corner of the class, Yami did the same. Without noticing, of course.
Of course!
But Yugi didn’t let himself be irritated by his Dark's sudden ‘No’
/But Yami! You should get the leading part/
//But I don’t want to, together with the thief! Yugi! Aibou! Little Light! My sweet lover! Do I really have to?// Yami asked desperately, while he tried to imitate Yugi's puppy dog eyes, without much success.
The little Hikari hung onto Yami's arm and blinked up at him sweetly pouting. And he was much more successful than Yami.
/And if I ask you very, very nicely?/

Of course Yami took him in his arms and looked down into wide, shimmering eyes, took the small, pale hands into his and squeezed them lovingly. Yugi laid his cheek on Yami's strong chest and nuzzled him lightly.

‘Either I say no, and Yugi will beg until I give in. Or I just say yes now and even get the opportunity to tell him it was out of my own free will, and not because of a pouting Hikari, that I’m doing this shit! Because sooner or later, I will give in anyway, no matter how much I struggle. I just can't resist him if he looks at me like that.’
Yami cuddled the smaller one more against himself who smiled sweetly and purred at that.

‘Who could resist. But if I agree now, maybe I can still save some of my pride, and no one can say that I have a weakness for my begging Hikari and can’t stand against one single glance with his ‘puppy dog-eyes’. Even if it's true…’ the former pharaoh thought with a nasty grin in Bakura's direction, who got his very own share of the treatment with at those eyes…

In the other corner of the room Ryou tried the same thing Yugi did with his Yami. He smiled lovely, made big eyes and even squeezed out a few tears that were now running over his ivory skin.

Before he did something cruel to his poor, unsuspecting Dark:

/But Yami will act, my thief king! And he even said that you better go and hide, because you don’t stand a snowball's chance in hell against him! And something like you isn’t fitting to stand in the spotlight anyway, and the text is way too hard for your little empty brain to remember, and you should hide under a rock like the coward you are, because you are going to go down anyway. And you would never do something as nice as this for me, even if you have to sleep on the couch, you would rather not get anything than do something nice for your fluffy little Hikari…/
Ryou sniffed a dramatically, before he continued talking with trembling voice.
/You're not leaving me behind, are you? You wouldn't abandon me, leaving me alone, without you here, and Yami always glaring that scarily, and Marik always freaking out and doing terrible things, and.../ Ryou kept over exaggerating, looking totally scared and helpless!

And guess what happened?

Bakura hugged him tightly and calmingly rubbed over his back, and that was also why he didn’t see the victorious grin on the small Hikari's face.

Would anyone be surprised if I said that he gave in in the end?
Not really, right?
Because that is the power of the Hikaris, and this is stronger than any shadow magic or darkness could ever be!

“And what about you, Marik? Are you in or…?” Malik asked his other half, glaring at him playfully. They had watched Bakura and giggled the whole time, he couldn’t resist his Hikari. Yami didn’t make as much of a fuss as the tomb robber, but maybe he just chose his fights better, and knew when he had lost… You could never be sure with him, and the look Yugi had given him had spoken volumes.
Marik looked down at the boy in his lap and had a hard time not leering:

“You'll have more time, if we do this, right? And I will get to spend time with you, and maybe I even get to poison someone. Of course I’m in, if it will help you. You know that I would do anything for you, Hikari-pretty!“ the crazy one said, while thinking to himself
'And my chances of ending up in the closet with you will be much higher. That was fun, we should definitely try that again…'

“Since when do you think like a normal person?“ Malik asked warily.
Sure there were some ulterior motives just like last time, and he had a pretty good idea what they were about.
Marik wasn’t as good at playing innocent as he thought he was.

“Normal?” Marik tried distracting him so his Light wouldn’t think about what he was thinking and why he really was doing this.
“Last week it was sane, now it's ‘normal‘! Really, you shouldn‘t hang around with the other Hikaris so much, they teach you too many bad words!
If they ever do something bad even once in their lives, I’ll eat my boxers!
And yours too.” Marik said and took another bite from his book, which was in his hand the whole time.

After a few bites it tasted better and better!

None of them really listened when Mrs. Gandon told them that she had to go to the teacher’s room for a moment, that they shouldn’t do anything indecent, and that they were supposed to stay in the class and be quiet.
She really was in need of a short break, so they all could work better.
Maybe the ‘lovely boys’ would have stopped all that unnecessary fighting by then, they surely couldn’t keep that up for the rest of the day.
(Obviously she really doesn't know them!)

In the meantime Yami had let go of his Light to tease Bakura. He had given in to Ryou easily, and Yami made sure to tell him that, and Bakura couldn’t let that challenge slip!

“Ah, isn’t he great?” Anzu suddenly sighed lovesick beside Yugi, who winced.
He hadn’t noticed her sneaking up on him, and now she was standing right beside him and watched Yami and Bakura trying to kill each other (again) yearningly.
Or rather dreamingly watching the former pharaoh:

“What do you say, Yugi, don’t you think Yami is the coolest? Oh, I just know that we're meant to be together, he just needs to realize it! This play is the perfect way to show him, don’t you think that too?” but she didn’t look at Yugi or Ryou while talking to them; otherwise she would have noticed them both making a face at her.
Yugi grabbed Ryou's arm and whispered: “Ryou, please, make sure that Bakura plays his part, or…”
“Don’t worry, if he doesn’t, he will sleep on the couch, I already told him that. After all he got me into the mess to begin with! And not for the first time. And so, he will share the punishment this time, not just the fun…” the white-haired Hikari grinned assuring.
Yugi let out a sigh of relief, while Anzu was still talking about Yami, and how she would talk Bakura into changing his part, and how sexy and cool Yami was looking, and how happy they would be after the wedding, and how many children they would have…

She didn’t even notice Yugi slowly turning red, and for once it was not due to embarrassment.
All he wanted was for her to shut the fuck up, and when he looked at Bakura, he had a great idea.
The small Hikari turned around to the still ranting girl and said, with a shocked face and much louder than necessary:
“What? But why do you want to bury Ryou in a dark, deep hole? He would choke! He would die!”
Anzu stared at him like he had lost his sanity: She had been talking about Yami the whole time, why was he talking about Ryou?
The Albino wouldn’t help her to get what she wanted, she already asked him to talk to his dark for her!

“ HUH???” (Very smart, Anzu)

“Oh, I understand. If he never came back, maybe even died…” and before he could say more, Bakura stormed past him, duel deck in hand, golden eye on his forehead and roaring loudly while storming after the girl.

“Just wait, you crazy bitch, you will never lay a single finger on my lover, you…” and he summoned every monster he owned, while Anzu turned around and ran into the wall two times before noticing the door just beside her and fleeing through it, the thief and his army hot on her heels.
Somewhere outside they heard her screaming, as she was apparently falling down some stairs during her hurried escape.

The little puzzle holder walked over to Yami, who just blinked at the sudden disappearance of his two enemies, and he slung his arms around the taller one's waist like he was some sort of gigantic stuffed animal.
“Mine!” Yugi stated, pleased, and cuddled him close.

Yami used this chance, and lifted Yugi up into his arms leering:
//Now its later, Aibou! And you said we can have some fun later!//

But before Yugi could answer, or could even blush, Anzu stormed back into the room with a loud scream. In her blind panic she looked for a way out and Bakura followed her laughing insanely all the while, a whole army of the scariest monsters of the shadow realm behind him, and the thief was the worst of them all.

As fast as she could, she jumped out of the window, seeing it was the only way that wasn’t blocked, and in his eagerness to kill her, Bakura almost jumped after her.
But Ryou got a hold on his shirt at the last possible moment and dragged him down from the windowsill.
“Just wait and think a moment! She isn’t worth it to jump out of a window. You can hunt her down later…” he murmured gently and stroked the growling tomb robbers back.
/It's okay, my thief, you will get her later…/

Yami looked around and noticed something great:
“Hey, guys, the weird bitch isn’t here anymore! We can go!”
Relieved they all ran for the door to use their chance to get out, Yugi still in Yami’s arms, and Bakura had flung Ryou over his shoulders again as if he was prey.

Which he, in a way, was…

Shortly after that Mrs. Gandon came back into the (demolished) classroom (hey, so many monsters have to leave a mark).
The room was empty, and there was not a trace of her students anywhere.
“Now, should I hope they come back, or be glad they're gone?”

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TBC:
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So, at first: I don’t own the movie ‘Romeo and Juliet’, just the DVD. Its one of my favorites.
When I saw it the first time I thought it was a Parody because at the beginning, at the gas station, they are referring to each other with ‘Sir’, and then they say ‘Take away your sword’ when they are holding guns!

Okay, and for the cast:

I’ve taken Yugi as Tybalt because I’m mean! Now Yugi will have to kill Ryou and be killed by Yami!
*the cast is excited without end*
Yes, I know, to be exact, Mercutio was killed in a fight without guns, and by accident, but you can call that artistic license.
I want Yugi to kill Ryou!
And then Yami go after Yugi!
Marik is the priest, because I’ve already written a big part of his part on the stage, and I like the idea way too much to not do it. And here the priest is the one who gives Romeo the poison.
Because Marik will be happy if he’s allowed to kill someone!
And we want him to be happy.
Because an unhappy Marik is dangerous!
I considered if Malik or Joey should play Romeo's friend, but then I decided on Joey, because Malik looks better beside Bakura as Paris.
Maybe I let Mokuba without any reason and just by chance be the Chief of police, because he would be the least suitable and the funniest for that, even if he doesn’t go to this class/school…

What can go wrong with Bakura as Juliet (besides… everything?)  
The teacher chooses him because of his long hair…
I find it kind of funny, even because he is the least suitable for that, and I really find the picture I had in my head funny: Bakura with curly hair, make up, a swirling dress with ribbons und bows.

Oh, and they will deal with the teacher in some way, and Anzu will also get what she deserves (I have a purpose for them, really... I think)



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