Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ The Tomb Robber, the Psycho Killer, and the Insane Writer ❯ Evil people obsessed with taking over the world are not polite! ( Chapter 1 )

The Tomb Robber, the Psycho Killer, and the Insane Authoress

A/N - This was originally posted on Fanfiction.net, but it's in script format so it's obviously not a real story. *rolls eyes* I feel like killing something right now... mainly FF.net...

Anyway, I'm one of those weirdos who calls Yami Bakura "Bakura" and Ryou Bakura "Ryou." Deal with it.

Disclaimer: I do not own Yuugiou. I Am not repeating this again in the fic.

Chapter 1 - Evil people obsessed with taking over the world are not polite!

(Yami) Bakura: *talking to his "Army"* ...And THAT is the master plan for taking over the world!

Bakura's "Army": *are hundreds of marshmallow peeps*

Bakura: MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!

Malik: *wonders in* Hey, Bakura? Do you have any soda? Isis won't let me have any more sugar. *sees army of peeps* SUGAR!! *bites of the head of a random peep*

Bakura: You ate General Peepers!

Malik: *though a mouth full of peep* Huh?

~* Um... that was... odd... anyway, my first beautiful entrance! MUHAHAHA!*~

TN5: *walking home from school* Stupid school with it's stupid homework and it's stupid students that don't know the stupid square root of the stupid number... *stand on the corner a waits for a brake in the cars so that she can cross the street*

Cars: *are driving abnormally fast*

Truck: *crashes into a mini van*

Traffic: *comes to a complete stop around the wreck*

Drivers involved in the wreck: *exchanging swear words*

TN5: This is boring... Maybe if I go THAT WAY - *turns to the opposite street* - then I'll get home!

Guy in Car: SURFS UP, DUDE!!!!! GET JIGGY WITH IT LIL' MAMA!!

TN5: ...Alright, that's it. *wonders down street*

~* Back with Malik and Bakura... *~

Malik: *happily chowing down on peeps*

Bakura: You're EATING my army!

Malik: They're just marshmallows. *bites the head off of one*

Bakura: YOU INSULTED THE PEEPS!!! NOW YOU MUST DIE!!! *tackles Malik*

*Dust cloud fight starts*

~* With me, TypoNumber5 *~

TN5: *is standing in the middle of a forest* Um... I think I'm lost... *ponders*

Mysterious Voices: Go... to the riiiiiiight...

TN5: *looks around* Al? Was that you?

Squeaky Voice 1: Who's Al?

TN5: The voice in the back off my head that comes out every once in a while to demand ice water.

Squeaky Voice 2: It's the voice in the back of her head!

Squeaky Voice 1: I can tell.

Squeaky Voice 3: Do you think we should call that guy in the white coat who took Bob away? I mean, HIS voices thought the padded room was boring but he certainly liked it...

Squeaky Voice 4: Are you kidding?! That guy doesn't work for people like HER. Only people like US, the Rabid Chipmunks to Rule the World!!

TN5: What do you mean- *hair suddenly stands on end* Do you feel that?

Squeaky Voice 2: Feel what?

TN5: SUGAR! *runs off*

Squeaky Voice 4: ...On second thought, what was the guy with the white coat's number?

~* With Bakura & Malik *~

Bakura and Malik: *in a dust cloud fight*

TN5: *runs in* WHERE'S THE SUGAR?!! *sees peeps* *narrows eyes* Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeviiiiiilllll!! *starts stomping on them*

Bakura & Malik: *stop their fight*

Bakura: You're killing my army!

Malik: You're killing my sugar!

Malik & Bakura: *tackle TN5*

TN5: NOOOO!! *is squished under the two boys* Must... destroy... evil... peeps...

Malik: What do you have against my snack?!!!!

TN5: Well...

**FLASHBACK**

TN5: *doing homework*

Peep: *hitting TN5 with a daisy*

TN5: *looks down at peep*

Peep: *keeps hitting her*

TN5: *blink*

Peep: *still hitting her*

TN5: *eats peep*

Giant 40-foot 346734562361346-pound Peep: *destroys TN5's house*

TN5: *sitting in the middle of what remains of her house with her half done homework* I wonder if (insert teacher's name here) will except this as an excuse for not doing homework...

**END FLASHBACK**

TN5: And she didn't! So not only was I stuck living in a trashcan, but I had make-up work! *shakes Bakura* MAKE-UP WORK!!!!!

Bakura: Well... erm... that was an interesting story. Will you go away now?

TN5: No. I want to know why you two are sitting in the middle of a shack built in an underwater cave surrounded by an electric fence with peeps all around you.

Bakura: That is top-secret informa-

TN5: Oh. So you're plotting world domination?

Bakura: HOW DID YOU KNOW?!!

Malik: Um, Bakura? *points to a giant banner reading, "Welcome to Bakura's secret hide out. Please go away now so he can have quiet as he plots world domination with his almighty army of marshmallow peeps."*

Bakura: Oh... *sweat drop* I knew I should have gone with, "Leave now or DIE!!!!" But nooooooo... Ryou wanted it to be POLITE. *starts ranting about how evil people obsessed with taking over the world are not supposed to be polite*

TN5: *blink* Um... *gets an idea* Hey! Can I help with world domination?

Malik: Why do you want to help?

TN5: *thinking* Because if I act stupid enough then I can trick the into helping me own YGO and when I own YGO, I'll own THEM and if I own THEM I'll own the WORLD!! MUHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! *out loud* I have no life.

Malik: *thinks a moment* Well, since I ate most of Bakura's army I guess you could-

Bakura: NO! I will NOT be help a stupid weak GIRL in taking over the world.

TN5: What do have against women?!

**FLASHBACK**

Chibi Bakura: Mommy? Can I have some bread?

Bakura's Mother: NOOOOO!!!! GO AWAY YOU EVIL DEMON BRAT!!!!!!! I HATE YOU!!!!! DIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *throws a pot at him*

Chibi Bakura: *is hit in the head* OWCHIES!

**END FLASHBACK**

Bakura: And all I did was gnaw her hand off when I was teething!

Malik: O__________________O *slowly backs away*

TN5: Aaaaawww!!!! You were such a cute little chibi! *hugs Bakura*

Bakura: Erg! I'm not cute anymore! GET OFF OF ME!! *pulls TN5 off*

TN5: So can I help you in your quest for world domination?

Bakura: If you never hug me again, then yes.

TN5: Never again?

Bakura: Never.

TN5: What about in other fics?

Bakura: No.

TN5: reviews?

Bakura: No.

TN5: Bizarre dreams I've been having about Yugi trying to steal my shoes?

Bakura: No.

TN5: PLEEEASE!!! Make it just for this fic!! *Chibi eyes of DOOM*

Bakura: *scoots away* Alright! You can help me take over the world as long as you don't hug me again through out this fic and NEVER MAKE THAT FACE AGAIN!!!

TN5: ^_^ KAY!!

Malik: u.u *sigh*

TN5: Let's go!!! *drags Malik & Bakura out of the "secret hideout"*

-

My friends claim I have abnormally big eyes. The Chibi Eyes of DOOM are a huge joke among them.

Yeah... I'll post the second chapter (I have chappies 1-12 already typed) as soon as I proofread it. Judging by my frequent laziness sprees, it'll probably be up tomorrow.

Please review.