Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Thoughts ❯ Realizations ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

I hope you all enjoy this fic, it's my first attempt at Yugioh fanfiction, but not my first fanfic. It's told from (Yami) Bakura's POV, and this is simply the first chapter.
I do not own Yugioh, but I do own a cardboard duel disk I made over the summer /grins/ And this plot of course!
Swearing, this is Bakura we're listening to. And shounen-ai, Darkshipping of course, don't like don't read.
PG-13
Three thousand years is a long time for a person to think. A very long time for someone to think about another. What kind of realizations might one come to under such conditions? What would a person go through before they finally escape? Yami Bakura knows the truth all too well. Darkshipping Yami/Bakura

Thoughts

By: Ryu

Chapter One: Realizations


          It was as normal a day as any other. My hikari (1) was in control of the body, and I was sitting in here, in my soul room, reminiscing about...stuff. What kind of stuff, you may ask? Well, that question could be answered several ways in my opinion. Choice A: None of your business, dumbass. Choice B: Oh you know, stuff. Choice C: An actual explanation.

         Now, knowing me as well as I do, I would have to say that on any normal occasion you would hear me answer with something along the lines of choice A. Give or take an expletive or two. But today, since I'm feeling rather bored, I will go along with Choice C for awhile.

         Over the several millennia that I spent in the Shadow Realm, I had quite a bit of time on my hands. And what else did I have to do aside from dwell on the person who had sent me there? Not much, I'll tell you. And so I found myself picking apart his character, his thoughts, piece by piece. At least I had thought I had. But now that I'm out of there, I'm beginning to realize that I might have jumped to a few 'wrong' conclusion during that time. As the days went on, my hatred towards the one who had caused my village's demise grew. He had sacrificed every single soul in Kuru'Elna (2) just for the sake of the forging of the Millennium Items. Granted, it was Akunadin (3) who had actually been in power at the time, but the sins of the father were traditionally passed down to the child in that day. And so who was to blame for what I became, for the destruction of those I had loved? Atemu. The pharaoh. The bloody Pharaoh.

         While he was surrounded by luxury I lived out in the cold, in the streets. I passed the days learning how to 'steal', how to gain what I needed to survive for free. I slowly moved up in rank among the thieves, and several began calling my the Thief King. And at the peak of my power, a realization hit me. I now had enough connections, enough skill to attempt to achieve my revenge. The Pharaoh, sitting on his high-and-mighty ass would pay. I began surveying the grounds around the palace, only working in the pitch black of the night. The guards new of my movements, but could never find me, and so they began calling me 'the darkness'. In a way I had truly become the darkness in mind as well. Where I once could have had a free life, living openly amongst others, I hid in the shadows, ever moving with them to avoid detection. I new of the horrors of this world.

         I new of all the things that went on in the Pharaoh's lands. Of the cruelty of the human race. After years of watching as others were killed, I had eventually become a murderer myself. I had been driven into a corner, with no escape but to kill the ones who were after me. I still remember the night that I killed that first guard. I was terrified. No, don't look at me like that. I'm telling the story here, and yes, at that time I was terrified. Not necessarily something I'm proud of, but then again, what I've become now isn't exactly something I'm proud of either. I had stolen some jewelry, realizing I could exchange it easily, and then just buy the food, but I hadn't noticed the disguised guard hidden in the doorway. As I had walked off, I thought I had felt someone following me, but whenever I had turned, there was no one there aside from the pathetic citizens of Egypt going about their merry little lives.

         I had not caught onto the guard following me until it was almost too late, had I not gotten defense training from one of my fellow thieves, I would not be talking to you right now. I had turned around, my dagger instantly in my hand, and with a quick slashing motion, caught the guard in the gut, the knife slicing through the fabric and flesh smoothly. I remember staring wide-eyed at the red liquid flowing easily out of the gash, the guts threatening to fall out between his fingers as he clutched at the wound. I had backed away, my heart pumping fast and adrenaline racing through my bloodstream. His face was contorted in pain, and his breathing was uneven and harsh as he collapsed to the ground. And as I looked up at him, something snapped inside me, as if another voice was talking to me. He deserved it. You did a very good job. The voice had been crisp and cold, and days, even weeks after, I still heard ti ringing in my head, and my mind began to twist. Yes, they did deserve it, didn't they? They all work for that filthy Pharaoh. And he deserves, so they do as well, ne?

         The Pharaoh had indirectly stolen my innocence back in Egypt. Which is one problem I have with him today. His fucking cocky attitude about how he has to save the world, believe in the heart of the cards. Blah. Blah. BLAH. He says that now, but what about 3,000 years ago? What about saving me?! Why am I suddenly the bad guy?!?

         I'll tell you the answer to this as well. Because I'm trying to steal his Millennium Puzzle. I'm trying to steal what should rightfully be Kuru-Elna's, considering they paid with their lives for it's creation. But just because I'm trying to get revenge, just because I've become what I have, I'm the bad guy. Tell me Yami, Pharaoh, what would you do if someone ever killed all of your friends but let you live? I know. You'd Mind Crush them, send them to the Shadow Realm, destroy their souls. You'd do SOMETHING. So why do you look upon me as filth, as the bad guy?
         Now, you might retaliate to that with something like, Why do I hate you so much? Well now, that's an interesting thought. To tell you the truth, I never hated you , per se. Sure, I loathed you, who wouldn't given my position? But as I said earlier, 3,000 years is an awfully long time for a soul to think. I constantly thought about you, what other memories did I have that were of any importance? I never really had a childhood to reminisce on, I never had any friends. So I thought about you. I thought long and hard about why I loathed you, and so I began to realize that it wasn't really you're fault. Now don't think I came upon this thought quickly, it took years of struggling within myself to finally realize it, and when I did, it was difficult to swallow. I had died attempting to exact my revenge on you, for something that wasn't even your fault. As my ring passed from owner to owner I was able to view the outside world from time to time. And I learned that guilt is not rightfully passed down from parent to offspring. Which completely set you free of the blame.

         At the same time it gave me no meaning in life. My teenage years were spent training to defeat you, eating so I could defeat you, et cetera. And so I set my sights on acquiring the seven Millennium items. And my mind slowly became possessed with that thought, and everything, even memories of you, was driven out of my mind. I've learned form several sources, through my hikari of course, that I was possessed by an evil being during that time, and he was the fault for my warped mind, but I'll take all the blame until he steps up to me and says it was him to my face.

         Bringing up the topic of my hikari starts another question in your head doesn't it? Something along the lines of How did poor Bakura Ryou get stuck with me as a Yami? Put simply, fate. In the beginning, when I first awoke, I thought it was fate giving me my chance to collect the seven golden items that I so wished to possess. And so I had proceeded to forcefully take control of my host's body as I pleased and search for the items. I had managed to steal the Eye from it's owner, and I added it to my collection. But after that, I was unable to get anymore of them, I came so close to getting the Rod, only to have the darker half of that fool Malik seal me into the Shadow Realm, again. And so I began to rethink my whole outlook on my position. Hmm...seems to me as if I can blame the majority of my problems on the Shadow Realm to tell the truth.

         And so, I reached the conclusion, that quite possibly I had been given this second chance at a life to make up for my past deeds and sins, so my heart would finally be able to pass on into the afterlife. Now this might sound insane to any modern day mortal, but back in Egypt, we lived our lives preparing for what would await us in the afterlife. If one's heart was not pure enough to pass, it would be eaten by the monster Ammit (4). My heart would have gone straight to Ammut, if it had not been for the Pharaoh sealing my soul away into the Millennium Ring. And so my mind was able to logically relieve the Pharaoh of his guilt finally, and now I'm left, again, with no purpose in life, aside from dealing with my Hikari of course. He's still the girly-Aibou that he was in the beginning, but I've taken it upon myself to protect his care-free soul. If it hadn't been for outside intervention, I could have lived out my life as he is now, and I'm not going to let anyone ruin his pure soul. Which, I believe, brings me one step closer to redemption in the process.

         I also earned myself the only true friend I have. I don't think Ryou could be more loyal to anyone else, I was there for him whenever he was lonely. I was there for him when he needed to cry. I never was able to soften up enough to comfort him and hold him like I'd like to, but he understands that. He's the only one that knows what I've gone through, aside from the Pharaoh that is. And instead of forgetting about it like a certain narrow-minded Egyptian I know, he accepts me for who I am. Without him, I don't think I could ever have been able to live with myself for all these years. It's been hard accepting that I lived for a lie. It's been harder for him to convince me not to just give up on what I've realized and go back to taking over the world. Or even worse yet, it's been hard for my hikari to live with me while I still let my sadistic tendencies rule my actions. And yet he still accepts me with open arms, and I find comfort in knowing that we'll most likely be stuck with each other for quite some time. Not that I'm in love with him, you morons, it's more of a deep friendship. On top of that, our souls are stuck together thanks to the Millennium Ring, which is now his as much as it is mine.

         Besides, he knows the one true secret that I hold from everyone, even from the Pharaoh, whom I seldom converse with, in the disguise of Ryou. He knows who my heart belongs to.

         Didn't think I had a heart did you? Well, neither did I, until the realization of my feelings hit me like a freakin' brick wall. I'll give you three guesses who it is.

         Ryou? Nope, I already told you, FRIENDS. Just friends.

         Anzu (5)? Nuh-uh. I might have grown less...sadistic...but I don't think I could be left in a room with her without tying and gagging her.

         Malik? Well, he certainly has a nice body, I have to give him that, but he's my Hikari's obsession, and therefore off-limits.

         Now, who could it be. Guess anyone else you please, and unless you happen to be an intelligent mortal (highly unlikely) the answer to all of them are no. My heart belongs to none other than the person who destroyed it so many years ago. That's right, Pharaoh-boy has stolen from me what I had not known until now that I had.

         Those years in the Shadow Realm had developed a deep obsession with the crimson eyed ruler, and now that obsession has finally shown it's true colors. And so I find myself sitting here in my soul room, willing Ryou to look over at Yami, who has separated from his host and is sitting across the room form my hikari. The Pharaoh has yet again gained total control over me. This time not because he was born int a position of power whilst I was born into a destiny of peasantry and thievery. This time it is because I have pushed too far.

         I spent my free time trying to figure him out, only to find that I couldn't. That he was a complete enigma to me. The only other soul who might possibly be able to remember some of our old time, and I know nothing about him. I spent time with him, pretending to be Ryou (with his permission of course) and found out that he's slowly beginning to remember his past. He's slowly beginning to remember the horrors that he committed while he was Pharaoh, and I began to realize that I felt the need to comfort him. I felt the need to hold my once-arch enemy in my arms, and tell him it was okay, that I forgave him long ago. And to confess to him these feelings that are hidden deep down below the surface of my soul.

         Which is why I take over control of our body, simply telling Ryou that I need to do something. He trusts me, and I feel him slip away into his soul room to watch. I never was one to want to sit around and watch things happen around me, and so I'll take matters into my own hands. I scribble a note in hieroglyphics, this way no one will read it except Yami, and I get up out of my seat and head for the door tossing the note onto his desk, which I pass on my way up to the front desk. I tell the teacher that I'm not feeling well, and must go to the nurse's office. Before waiting for a reply I stride out the door and head for the roof of the school.

Pharaoh,
is Bakura, no don't be alarmed, I am not writing this to threaten you or your friends. I should let you know that the few times that 'Ryou' has asked you to come to our apartment and talk, it hasn't really been him. If that isn't enough reason for you to come to the roof right now and see me face to face, then I'll come back and break every bone in your body...twice.

         ~Bakura


) The dark halves go by Yami, which means Darkness, shadow, etc, and so logically the lighter halves are called Hikari, which means light.
) The village that Bakura lived in, which was sacrficed to make the Millennium Items, only Bakura survived
) Akunadin- this is the name of Pharaoh Atemu's father. Atemu is Yami back in ancient Egypt.
) I believe this is the name of the beats that eats the hearts fo those unworthy of going itno the afterlife in Egyptian mythology.
) Tea Gardener in the American version. Her name in the original is Anzu Mazaki. Just to clear things up, I am in no way a 'Tea/Anzu-basher; I was just being mean to her in this because it's from Bakura's POV

SO there's the first chapter of my first YuGiOh fic. This is dedicated to Tanin, one of my best friends, who finally gave me the final push that it took to get me into writing for this fandom. I didn't know if I was comfortable enough with the characters to write with them yet, but I'm pretty proud of how this turned out. If you guys like this so far, please REVIEW and I'll be more than happy to post more for ya!
hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Ja ne.