Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Thoughts ❯ Confessions ( Chapter 2 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Ryu Kiari 
From Yami's POV this time... His thoughts, and finally the confrontation of the two spirits...
Anime/Manga: Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 11.27.2004 | Pages: 2 | Words: 3.4K | Visits: 223 | Status: Work In Progress
From Yami's POV this time... His thoughts, and finally the confrontation of the two spirits...
Anime/Manga: Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 11.27.2004 | Pages: 2 | Words: 3.4K | Visits: 223 | Status: Work In Progress
Ok here's chapter two, even thought no one but my good friend Hanna (lol) reviewed it....so this is dedicated to you ^^ And thank you so much for beta-ing this...ahead of time that is, considering I'm typing this for some reason before I even send this to you...oh well... On with the ficcie!
posting this version now, so that I can claim that I'm not as lazy as some people think /grins/ I proof-read it as best as I could, and I'll have the beta'd version up as soon as I get it back, 'k minna-san?
Thoughts
Ryu
Chaopter Two: Confessions
POV)
&nb sp; What the-? Is the first thought that comes to my mind as I read and re-read the note that Bakura-san, no the tomb robber , had left on top of my desk before leaving the classroom with some lame excuse. I feel my body go numb as I now stare blankly at the sheet of paper, almost hoping deep inside me that it would spontaneously combust. Sadly, all that happens is time being wasted by my stupid games.
Games. That brings back so many memories, some good and some so horrible that I wish to forget them all. Memories of Battle City, memories of the times I spent playing Shadow Games in the beginning when I didn't remember anything . And of times back in a land of heat and sand, of Pharaohs and ancient magic. Yes, I'm speaking of Egypt. Of my birth land, where I once reigned as Pharaoh. Now, until just recently, I had believed I had ruled as Pharaoh decently, defending the world from evil since the start.
But my dreams speak differently. Ishizu has once again given me possession of the Millennium necklace, and as I think of it now, I feel it's power stir as it sits harmlessly in the pocket of my school uniform. And with that possession I have been gifted with dreams of the past. I'm not one to be so rude as to mock a gift that a friends has given me , but I feel I must make an exception in this case. This 'gift' is so much more a curse to me than anything else. Just last night I had a vision of the entire West bank of the Nile ablaze, and simply because the Pharaoh had not cared enough to awaken to give commands to attempt to fix it, I watched as many died. Another dream was of the poor status that the peasants lived in, of the horrid conditions they had been forced into working under. And do you know who that Pharaoh was that caused all of those...those...disasters?
&nb sp; ME.
I let hundreds of people die! I practically sent them to their graves myself! And for what?! Because I was too busy wallowing in my own pity and self-doubt, that I told them to go fuck themselves. Obviously in nicer terms, but both ways gets the same message across: 'I didn't care'. I didn't care as my citizens suffered. I didn't care as people died. I didn't care as my soldiers abused their power.
And here I am now punishing those who are evil, when at one time, I was just as wrong.
/You're being too harsh on yourself Yami/ I hear Yugi say in my mind.
//Were you listening in on that, aibou?// I think back, afraid that he might finally know my dark secret.
I hear a mental sigh before anything else, and then he responds /Hai, Yami. But I saw those dreams along with you./ Before I can offer a rebuttal, he continues on, /You were only 10 at the time, any child would have accidentally let those things go on. They should not have let you rule at such a young age. In current times, we aren't even allowed to get jobs until we're out of high school, and yet you had to rule a country! You're obviously forgetting that once you were old enough to rule, you.../
/Yugi! How can you say such things?! You have no idea of what it was like to live back then as one of my subjects! I can never forgive myself for it, even with all I did afterwards, and what I did in this time! On top of that, how can I forgive myself for the horrors that took place to create the very item that allows me to be here right now?/
Pause. /So that's what this is about? I thought you were freaking out about something that wasn't even your fault, just a LITTLE too much./
I sigh, both mentally and physically, /Hai, Hikari. I keep trying to find something else to get my mind off of the Items and how they were forged. But the only things that can let me get them off my mind is thinking about everything else I did back in Egypt, and eventually blowing it all out of proportion./ And of course another thing, or someone, but I can't tell Yugi that. Not yet. Not until I find out what he wants.
"Sensei? I wish to go get a drink, I'm feeling a bit dizzy, may I?" I ask as I stand up behind my desk.
"Yami? Sure, just hurry back," sensei responds, before returning back to her lecture. The lecture which I'm sure is very interesting, but I'll have to miss it this once. I begin to gather my bag, hoping she won't notice and question me on it, I have no plans on returning to class. I need some fresh air, and this classroom is boring as hell.
/Yami? Where are you going?/
//Just to talk to a friend, do not worry, aibou. I'm gonna skip off on the rest of the school day, so I'll see you later.//
I look over at him, and I can clearly see the confusion sparkling in his violet eyes. I don't blame him, I'm confusing myself right now. /Ok Yami, see you at dinner./ And with that being said, I cut off our mental link, I'm not sure where this conversation with Bakura is going, so I decide to just play it safe.
I pull the note out of my pocket, and look it over once again, "Charming as usual, Bakura," I mutter to myself in the empty hallway. I wish I could clear my mind, it would make this go much easier, but I succeeded mere seconds ago in muddling everything up, and the conversation with Yugi just reinforced my thought on the item I'm wearing around my neck right now and it's counterparts. No matter how much I try to pin my guilt on my bad job at handling my position of Pharaoh in my younger years, the pin keeps slipping back to it's rightful place, so to speak. Yugi's right, the country was too much for a boy merely 10 years old to handle, but I do feel as if I owe it to Bakura and the people of his village to bear some of the responsibility for my father's actions.
I mean, if I don't, then who will even bother to remember the pain that took place to create items that would enable the Pharaoh and his chosen advisors to wield unimaginable power? And if I don't, who will be able to pay for those sins? Whose death will finally give Bakura the satisfaction he deserves? The satisfaction that the deaths of all the people of Kuru'Elna will be repaid?
No one.
Which is why I put my mind through so much torment. All for him, for that lousy Tomb Robber. For Bakura.
As I think all this, as my mind runs through the same loops it's been going over for the past year or so, my feet take me closer and closer to my destination. I feel the cold metal of the door leading up to the roof beneath my fingers as I push it open, and I hear the resonating sounds of my shoes on the steps as I climb upwards. I experience all this as though through a filter, my mind wandering to the question of why Bakura has called me up here.
Has he finally decided to duel me again? It's been so long since he last challenged me, I'm almost beginning to think something's wrong with him, other than the usual that is. Well, I guess I'll find out soon enough, considering my fate is currently leading me right up to the door that separates us. And it's forcing me to open the door and step through. Then again, maybe there is no such thing as fate, but now's not the time to question my outlook on life, at least I think.
There he is, his back turned to me, his white hair hanging loosely over the school uniform, the normal spikes sticking out every which way, as they normally do when the darker side is in control. "Nice of you to finally join me Pharaoh," I hear him say clearly, despite how far away he is. Not that he yelled it or anything, he just has a way of making people realize he's there and of making people listen. Of making people look at him, into his dark brown eyes, eyes that were once crimson and that could stop a person's heart with their intensity.
But now, as he turns around and steps towards me, I find myself looking into his eyes, not from their intensity, but from something else. Something familiar, but I can't quite place a word for it. "Well, are you gonna say something, or should I go over there and carry on a conversation with that wall instead?" he demands impatiently, as he stops a few feet away from me, his arms crossed.
"I-....I'm sorry Bakura," I stutter, not too sure of what I was saying, until it was already said. I gaze down at my feet, not wanting to meet his eyes. "If you wish to challenge me to a duel now to finally reap your revenge, I shall do nothing to stop you from claiming victory. I deserve to die for what I did, I-"
"Shut up." My head snaps up, and I gaze at his face, trying to figure out why he stopped me. He should have been gloating in my defeat. "And what did you do that makes you deserve a death by my hands?"
"Kuru'Elna..." I state simply, knowing very well that he knows where that thought is going.
"Was not your fault, Pharaoh," he states just as simply. "I've had a long time to think about you, about it . And during that long time I've come to many different conclusions, many of which were born simply from my utter and absolute hatred towards you." He sits down, leaning up against the wall right next to the door, his hands resting behind is head.
"And...?"
"And I was wrong, ok Pharaoh? For three freaking thousand years, I thought about you, and thought about you. That's long enough to drive me to insanity, and that's exactly what it did. I've become a killer, I've developed a decidedly sadomasochistic streak, and I'm everyone's worst enemy. And y'know what the worst part is...?" He looks up at me, his bangs falling away from his face to show his eyes gazing upon me with such intensity that I nearly back up a step.
"The worst part is that everyone thinks I'm the bad guy, everyone thinks I'm the sinner, the one in the wrong, and yet, it's not my fault.
"And what really irks me is that, the only person who could possibly understand any of this, doesn't seem to care enough to listen to me. All he did was prance around with his 'Aibou' and save the world. Give speeches about the heart of the cards, and that was it. Nothing on his conscience about my past. No thoughts in his mind about me, and yet he's all I thought about, he's all I think about, he's all I'll ever think about. Because I want him to be MINE. And do you know who that person is, Pharaoh?" he finishes, a half-smirk, half-grin plastered on his face, almost taunting me to answer him.
I assume that my puzzled look is enough of an answer for him, since he gets up and takes a few steps towards me, and stops with our noses barely inches apart. "You might know him, his name's Yami," he whispers to me, before pushing me up against the wall and claiming my mouth roughly.
My eyes slid shut, and I feel his body pressed up tightly against mine. One of his hands snakes it's way around my waist and the other wraps itself in my tangled hair. As his hand slides up my shirt, I can't help but let a deep moan escape my throat, and I feel him smirk against my lips. He licks my lips slowly, then pushes his tongue past them, and I open my mouth eagerly, accepting his tongue. I wrap my own arms around his shoulders and around his neck, enjoying the feel of his silky hair between my fingers.
For moments that seem like minutes this goes on, before either of us begins to realize exactly how far we're going with this, with what probably just started out as a kiss, but was starting to become more. He pulls away first, seeing as I'm pressed against the wall, and for the first time I realize that somehow we had both slid to the ground, and he was leaning over me, his hair falling around us.
He looks at me before whispering harshly, "You have no clue how long I've wished to know what kissing you would feel like, Yami."
All I can do for a second is sit here and soak in what just happened. I came up here expecting a duel to the death, and instead I got my first kiss?! "W-What was that?"
"A kiss, dumbass."
"No, I meant, why...why did you kiss me?"
"I told you, you're all I ever think about nowadays. I've been pretending to be Ryou just so I could talk to you. I guess you could say you're my obsession," he replies, smirking down at me. "But don't expect me to act this way often, I've just been doing a little too much reminiscing today."
I smirk back, some of my old confidence already seeping back into my mind, "Well then, I guess I should take advantage of that, ne?" I lean up to capture his lips in mine once more, but he pulls back, stopping me.
"Yami, do you...do you love me back? Or is this just a physical attraction?"
"Bakura, koi, I love you. I might not have known what the feelings I had for you were called in the beginning, but now I realize that my heart belongs to you." I lean up and gently capture his lips in mine. A chaste kiss to show him, to some extent at least, how I felt. I only wish I knew exactly how he felt for me... Does Bakura truly know how to love someone? Or is this just friendship, and he doesn't realize it?
//It's definitely deeper than friendship, Yami-kun. I won't say this out loud, Ever, so listen carefully. I...I Love you. If you said so, I believe I would even kill myself. I hate being this weak, I hate having someone else have this much control over my life. But in a way, I think it's ok if it's you, Pharaoh.//
//Wha-? How did y-// Before I have a chance to finish the thought he explains.
//That one day when Ryou gave your Hikari the pieces of the Puzzle, I inserted a piece of my soul into one of them, originally so I could get the puzzle from you, but it seems it allows me to talk to you this way. Convenient, ne? Without out it, I might just always have to act like and speak like a bastard to you in public. Now I can do that outwardly, and inwardly say stuff quite the opposite.// I swear, I feel a mental smirk as he says that.
He leans over again, this time kissing my forehead softly, and then resting his head against my chest. I play with a few stray locks of his hair absentmindedly, wondering at this strange turn of events.....
's the end of the chap ^^ an extra page longer than my usual chapter length ^^ Hope you enjoyed it! Not many more comments to add other than that, and PLEASE REVIEW THIS! I was hoping fo rmore than one review...but I'll be happy if you guys so much as leave a review to say you read this, just so I know more than one person is reading this! /grins/ Til next time everyone!
note that there will be a next chapter, I just hafta figure out what to do with it. Ideas are welcomed if you have something you'd like to suggest.
posting this version now, so that I can claim that I'm not as lazy as some people think /grins/ I proof-read it as best as I could, and I'll have the beta'd version up as soon as I get it back, 'k minna-san?
Thoughts
Ryu
Chaopter Two: Confessions
POV)
&nb sp; What the-? Is the first thought that comes to my mind as I read and re-read the note that Bakura-san, no the tomb robber , had left on top of my desk before leaving the classroom with some lame excuse. I feel my body go numb as I now stare blankly at the sheet of paper, almost hoping deep inside me that it would spontaneously combust. Sadly, all that happens is time being wasted by my stupid games.
Games. That brings back so many memories, some good and some so horrible that I wish to forget them all. Memories of Battle City, memories of the times I spent playing Shadow Games in the beginning when I didn't remember anything . And of times back in a land of heat and sand, of Pharaohs and ancient magic. Yes, I'm speaking of Egypt. Of my birth land, where I once reigned as Pharaoh. Now, until just recently, I had believed I had ruled as Pharaoh decently, defending the world from evil since the start.
But my dreams speak differently. Ishizu has once again given me possession of the Millennium necklace, and as I think of it now, I feel it's power stir as it sits harmlessly in the pocket of my school uniform. And with that possession I have been gifted with dreams of the past. I'm not one to be so rude as to mock a gift that a friends has given me , but I feel I must make an exception in this case. This 'gift' is so much more a curse to me than anything else. Just last night I had a vision of the entire West bank of the Nile ablaze, and simply because the Pharaoh had not cared enough to awaken to give commands to attempt to fix it, I watched as many died. Another dream was of the poor status that the peasants lived in, of the horrid conditions they had been forced into working under. And do you know who that Pharaoh was that caused all of those...those...disasters?
&nb sp; ME.
I let hundreds of people die! I practically sent them to their graves myself! And for what?! Because I was too busy wallowing in my own pity and self-doubt, that I told them to go fuck themselves. Obviously in nicer terms, but both ways gets the same message across: 'I didn't care'. I didn't care as my citizens suffered. I didn't care as people died. I didn't care as my soldiers abused their power.
And here I am now punishing those who are evil, when at one time, I was just as wrong.
/You're being too harsh on yourself Yami/ I hear Yugi say in my mind.
//Were you listening in on that, aibou?// I think back, afraid that he might finally know my dark secret.
I hear a mental sigh before anything else, and then he responds /Hai, Yami. But I saw those dreams along with you./ Before I can offer a rebuttal, he continues on, /You were only 10 at the time, any child would have accidentally let those things go on. They should not have let you rule at such a young age. In current times, we aren't even allowed to get jobs until we're out of high school, and yet you had to rule a country! You're obviously forgetting that once you were old enough to rule, you.../
/Yugi! How can you say such things?! You have no idea of what it was like to live back then as one of my subjects! I can never forgive myself for it, even with all I did afterwards, and what I did in this time! On top of that, how can I forgive myself for the horrors that took place to create the very item that allows me to be here right now?/
Pause. /So that's what this is about? I thought you were freaking out about something that wasn't even your fault, just a LITTLE too much./
I sigh, both mentally and physically, /Hai, Hikari. I keep trying to find something else to get my mind off of the Items and how they were forged. But the only things that can let me get them off my mind is thinking about everything else I did back in Egypt, and eventually blowing it all out of proportion./ And of course another thing, or someone, but I can't tell Yugi that. Not yet. Not until I find out what he wants.
"Sensei? I wish to go get a drink, I'm feeling a bit dizzy, may I?" I ask as I stand up behind my desk.
"Yami? Sure, just hurry back," sensei responds, before returning back to her lecture. The lecture which I'm sure is very interesting, but I'll have to miss it this once. I begin to gather my bag, hoping she won't notice and question me on it, I have no plans on returning to class. I need some fresh air, and this classroom is boring as hell.
/Yami? Where are you going?/
//Just to talk to a friend, do not worry, aibou. I'm gonna skip off on the rest of the school day, so I'll see you later.//
I look over at him, and I can clearly see the confusion sparkling in his violet eyes. I don't blame him, I'm confusing myself right now. /Ok Yami, see you at dinner./ And with that being said, I cut off our mental link, I'm not sure where this conversation with Bakura is going, so I decide to just play it safe.
I pull the note out of my pocket, and look it over once again, "Charming as usual, Bakura," I mutter to myself in the empty hallway. I wish I could clear my mind, it would make this go much easier, but I succeeded mere seconds ago in muddling everything up, and the conversation with Yugi just reinforced my thought on the item I'm wearing around my neck right now and it's counterparts. No matter how much I try to pin my guilt on my bad job at handling my position of Pharaoh in my younger years, the pin keeps slipping back to it's rightful place, so to speak. Yugi's right, the country was too much for a boy merely 10 years old to handle, but I do feel as if I owe it to Bakura and the people of his village to bear some of the responsibility for my father's actions.
I mean, if I don't, then who will even bother to remember the pain that took place to create items that would enable the Pharaoh and his chosen advisors to wield unimaginable power? And if I don't, who will be able to pay for those sins? Whose death will finally give Bakura the satisfaction he deserves? The satisfaction that the deaths of all the people of Kuru'Elna will be repaid?
No one.
Which is why I put my mind through so much torment. All for him, for that lousy Tomb Robber. For Bakura.
As I think all this, as my mind runs through the same loops it's been going over for the past year or so, my feet take me closer and closer to my destination. I feel the cold metal of the door leading up to the roof beneath my fingers as I push it open, and I hear the resonating sounds of my shoes on the steps as I climb upwards. I experience all this as though through a filter, my mind wandering to the question of why Bakura has called me up here.
Has he finally decided to duel me again? It's been so long since he last challenged me, I'm almost beginning to think something's wrong with him, other than the usual that is. Well, I guess I'll find out soon enough, considering my fate is currently leading me right up to the door that separates us. And it's forcing me to open the door and step through. Then again, maybe there is no such thing as fate, but now's not the time to question my outlook on life, at least I think.
There he is, his back turned to me, his white hair hanging loosely over the school uniform, the normal spikes sticking out every which way, as they normally do when the darker side is in control. "Nice of you to finally join me Pharaoh," I hear him say clearly, despite how far away he is. Not that he yelled it or anything, he just has a way of making people realize he's there and of making people listen. Of making people look at him, into his dark brown eyes, eyes that were once crimson and that could stop a person's heart with their intensity.
But now, as he turns around and steps towards me, I find myself looking into his eyes, not from their intensity, but from something else. Something familiar, but I can't quite place a word for it. "Well, are you gonna say something, or should I go over there and carry on a conversation with that wall instead?" he demands impatiently, as he stops a few feet away from me, his arms crossed.
"I-....I'm sorry Bakura," I stutter, not too sure of what I was saying, until it was already said. I gaze down at my feet, not wanting to meet his eyes. "If you wish to challenge me to a duel now to finally reap your revenge, I shall do nothing to stop you from claiming victory. I deserve to die for what I did, I-"
"Shut up." My head snaps up, and I gaze at his face, trying to figure out why he stopped me. He should have been gloating in my defeat. "And what did you do that makes you deserve a death by my hands?"
"Kuru'Elna..." I state simply, knowing very well that he knows where that thought is going.
"Was not your fault, Pharaoh," he states just as simply. "I've had a long time to think about you, about it . And during that long time I've come to many different conclusions, many of which were born simply from my utter and absolute hatred towards you." He sits down, leaning up against the wall right next to the door, his hands resting behind is head.
"And...?"
"And I was wrong, ok Pharaoh? For three freaking thousand years, I thought about you, and thought about you. That's long enough to drive me to insanity, and that's exactly what it did. I've become a killer, I've developed a decidedly sadomasochistic streak, and I'm everyone's worst enemy. And y'know what the worst part is...?" He looks up at me, his bangs falling away from his face to show his eyes gazing upon me with such intensity that I nearly back up a step.
"The worst part is that everyone thinks I'm the bad guy, everyone thinks I'm the sinner, the one in the wrong, and yet, it's not my fault.
"And what really irks me is that, the only person who could possibly understand any of this, doesn't seem to care enough to listen to me. All he did was prance around with his 'Aibou' and save the world. Give speeches about the heart of the cards, and that was it. Nothing on his conscience about my past. No thoughts in his mind about me, and yet he's all I thought about, he's all I think about, he's all I'll ever think about. Because I want him to be MINE. And do you know who that person is, Pharaoh?" he finishes, a half-smirk, half-grin plastered on his face, almost taunting me to answer him.
I assume that my puzzled look is enough of an answer for him, since he gets up and takes a few steps towards me, and stops with our noses barely inches apart. "You might know him, his name's Yami," he whispers to me, before pushing me up against the wall and claiming my mouth roughly.
My eyes slid shut, and I feel his body pressed up tightly against mine. One of his hands snakes it's way around my waist and the other wraps itself in my tangled hair. As his hand slides up my shirt, I can't help but let a deep moan escape my throat, and I feel him smirk against my lips. He licks my lips slowly, then pushes his tongue past them, and I open my mouth eagerly, accepting his tongue. I wrap my own arms around his shoulders and around his neck, enjoying the feel of his silky hair between my fingers.
For moments that seem like minutes this goes on, before either of us begins to realize exactly how far we're going with this, with what probably just started out as a kiss, but was starting to become more. He pulls away first, seeing as I'm pressed against the wall, and for the first time I realize that somehow we had both slid to the ground, and he was leaning over me, his hair falling around us.
He looks at me before whispering harshly, "You have no clue how long I've wished to know what kissing you would feel like, Yami."
All I can do for a second is sit here and soak in what just happened. I came up here expecting a duel to the death, and instead I got my first kiss?! "W-What was that?"
"A kiss, dumbass."
"No, I meant, why...why did you kiss me?"
"I told you, you're all I ever think about nowadays. I've been pretending to be Ryou just so I could talk to you. I guess you could say you're my obsession," he replies, smirking down at me. "But don't expect me to act this way often, I've just been doing a little too much reminiscing today."
I smirk back, some of my old confidence already seeping back into my mind, "Well then, I guess I should take advantage of that, ne?" I lean up to capture his lips in mine once more, but he pulls back, stopping me.
"Yami, do you...do you love me back? Or is this just a physical attraction?"
"Bakura, koi, I love you. I might not have known what the feelings I had for you were called in the beginning, but now I realize that my heart belongs to you." I lean up and gently capture his lips in mine. A chaste kiss to show him, to some extent at least, how I felt. I only wish I knew exactly how he felt for me... Does Bakura truly know how to love someone? Or is this just friendship, and he doesn't realize it?
//It's definitely deeper than friendship, Yami-kun. I won't say this out loud, Ever, so listen carefully. I...I Love you. If you said so, I believe I would even kill myself. I hate being this weak, I hate having someone else have this much control over my life. But in a way, I think it's ok if it's you, Pharaoh.//
//Wha-? How did y-// Before I have a chance to finish the thought he explains.
//That one day when Ryou gave your Hikari the pieces of the Puzzle, I inserted a piece of my soul into one of them, originally so I could get the puzzle from you, but it seems it allows me to talk to you this way. Convenient, ne? Without out it, I might just always have to act like and speak like a bastard to you in public. Now I can do that outwardly, and inwardly say stuff quite the opposite.// I swear, I feel a mental smirk as he says that.
He leans over again, this time kissing my forehead softly, and then resting his head against my chest. I play with a few stray locks of his hair absentmindedly, wondering at this strange turn of events.....
's the end of the chap ^^ an extra page longer than my usual chapter length ^^ Hope you enjoyed it! Not many more comments to add other than that, and PLEASE REVIEW THIS! I was hoping fo rmore than one review...but I'll be happy if you guys so much as leave a review to say you read this, just so I know more than one person is reading this! /grins/ Til next time everyone!
note that there will be a next chapter, I just hafta figure out what to do with it. Ideas are welcomed if you have something you'd like to suggest.