Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Together ❯ Together ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Author's Notes: Still having computer issues. My computer is still hundreds, if not thousands of miles away. Getting on a decent computer to type my fanfics is near impossible (in fact, right now I'm on a computer that is extremely difficult to type on). I'm starting some new stuff until I know for a fact I can start updating my old stuff regularly.

I wrote this while I was on vacation visiting relatives, and had no computer access whatsoever.

Disclaimer: The characters and setting from Yu-Gi-Oh! are the intellectual property of Kazuki Takahashi. The lyrics from the song, “Together,” are the intellectual property of Avril Lavigne. However, the sequence of plot, monologue, and dialogue are the intellectual property of Lightning Sage. Do not copy this story, edited or otherwise.

Lyrics Note: Lyrics from Avril Lavigne's song, “Together” will be displayed in italics (with the exception of the title, point of view, and single words or phrases within the monologue). THIS IS DIFFERENT FROM HOW I NORMALLY WRITE SONGFICS. Only important words, ones that I want to be emphasized within the song will be displayed as bold italics. Again, I apologize to MM users, because sometimes the upload process causes my chapters to appear differently than intended. In that case, remember that lyrics are separated by hyphens.

Name Note: You may notice that Yugi calls Seto Kaiba by the name “Kaiba” rather than “Seto.” This is intended to show distance, emotional detachment on some level.

Final Note (PLEASE READ!): Normally I say, “if you don't wanna read the song lyrics, you don't hafta,” but I think this song in particular really compliments the piece (and I just adore this song). If you really, really, really, REALLY don't want to, just read the bold lyrics, `cause they're the important ones.

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Together

Yugi Mutou's Point of View

If somebody told me three years ago that I'd end up with Seto Kaiba, I admittedly would have dismissed the statement as complete insanity, or “psychic mumbo-jumbo,” as he likes to call it.

Things started out really well with Kaiba two years ago; I made him promise to be open and honest with me, and he kept his promise to the best of his ability. It was difficult at first because Kaiba is a naturally closed person, but he opened up as he became more comfortable with me.

Well, to be precise, Kaiba wasn't more comfortable with me. Over time, he got to know my other half, my dark side, Yami. I realized nearly a year ago that Yami was spending more time with my boyfriend than I was. I'd talked to him about it, so Yami made an effort not to be the one conversing with Kaiba. He would never want to upset me.

That's where problems started. Kaiba, who refuses to believe that two souls occupy my body, doesn't realize that the person he's been interacting with these past years is not the person he thinks.

Something just isn't right

I can feel it inside

The truth isn't far behind me

You can't deny

Even if he remains steadfast to his anti-paranormal beliefs, Kaiba senses two different personalities sharing my body. Unfortunately, as soon as he senses my presence, his mental barriers go up. He won't talk to me. He doesn't trust me.

He trusts Yami, though.

When I turn the lights out

When I close my eyes

Reality overcomes me

I'm living a lie

I really brought this onto myself. Initially, I was the one to ask Yami to help me get Kaiba to open up. Soon, it became natural for Yami to start conversations with Kaiba. When it was just the two of them, everything always seemed to flow effortlessly. Yami is so easy to talk to, and he always knows what to say to people, especially Kaiba.

It's incredibly ironic; as much as I've watched Yami talk to Kaiba, I can never emulate him. I could repeat his exact words, but somehow, Kaiba doesn't respond to me the same way as he does to Yami. He just shuts me out, and his emotional detachment makes me feel awful. Here I am, doing everything I can to interact with the man I love, to get him to trust me, but he simply closes himself off.

I sincerely love him. It's not something I can expect to fade with time. Instead, everything he's told Yami has only caused my love for him to grow. I've realized the true extent of his love for his brother. I've learned about his incredible ambition and determination. I've discovered how much he strives for the approval of those he cares about. I love him for his strengths, and in spite of his few flaws. I love him for him.

But knowing he doesn't feel the same way is a terrible experience.

When all alone I feel so much better

But when I'm around you, I don't feel

More recently, I've felt that Kaiba's withdrawal has induced my own. I can't talk to him about anything. Sometimes we sit in a room together, not moving, not speaking. Utter silence consumes us. It only breaks when Yami rescues me from my living nightmare. Kaiba speaks then, although hesitant and wary at first.

Together, it doesn't feel right at all

Together,

Together, we've built our wall

Together, holding hands we'll fall

Hands we'll fall

I know things can't continue like this. I either need to break the ice barrier that surrounds Kaiba's heart, or let him go.

I'm praying it's not the latter.

The relationship has been moving up and down constantly (the low points being during my shifts of bodily control), and that's obviously not healthy. It's wrong to force Kaiba to deal with my incompetence. And it's wrong for me to fool myself into believing Kaiba actually loves me. I need someone who loves me for me.

This has gone on so long

I realize that I need something good to rely on

Something for me

I wish Kaiba loved me.

When all alone I feel so much better

But when I'm around you, I don't feel

Together, it doesn't feel right at all

Together,

Together, we've built our wall

Together, holding hands we'll fall

Hands we'll fall

I know he doesn't love me, though.

He loves Yami.

Yami loves him.

My heart is broken

I'm lying here

My thoughts are choking on you, my dear

On you, my dear

I can't pretend I didn't notice it all along. It's not like they kissed or anything; Yami would never do that to me. He'd feel as if he betrayed me. But I could tell that they've fallen in love with each other. Yami's the only person to get Kaiba to open up besides Mokuba. And Yami's willingly told Kaiba things he's never even told me. They trust each other above everyone else.

All the small things add up. All the slight touches on the shoulder, the encouraging pats on the back, all the quick hugs of support. Oddly, as jumpy as I've seen Kaiba, I've never seen him flinch once when Yami touched him.

They love each other, but my love for Kaiba is preventing them from having a real relationship.

But I can't do that to either of them. I can't deny them true love. I love Yami like a brother, and I've grown to love Kaiba more than anyone or anything in the universe.

I have to let go. I have to let them be together because I care deeply for both of them.

I'm not the person for Kaiba. I realize that.

Yami is. My other half, my dark side.

When all alone I feel so much better

But when I'm around you, I don't feel

Together, it doesn't feel right at all

Together,

Together, we've built our wall

Together, holding hands we'll fall

Hands we'll fall

As much as I love Seto Kaiba, I know our relationship doesn't feel right. It's agonizing, knowing that I can't make him happy.

Does that make me a failure?

At least I know Yami can make him happy. That knowledge convinces me that I'm doing the right thing. As long as they're both happy, I can try to be happy for them.

And I know they will be happy as long as they're together.

When I'm around you,

I don't feel together

When I'm around you,

Together,

I don't feel together, no,

I don't feel together

Together…

-owari-

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Author's Notes: Ok, now I've seen the word `together' so many times that even the correct spelling looks wrong to me. - .-U

I think I started to get a bit redundant, ne? I made a few revisions as I typed it up (which took days b/c the keyboard is so messed up). Suggestions and constructive criticism would be great.

Style Note: I should mention this piece kind of follows the stream-of-consciousness style, so at times the subject can shift very suddenly.

When Yugi says “living nightmare,” he's revealing that one of his fears is not being cared about by those he cares for, and not being able to talk to those he cares for.

Song Note: One of the things I really like about this song is that throughout almost its entirety, there are two distinct voices. Sometimes, one seems to overpower the other, and that's why I think it's so fitting for this piece. At first, it seems that there's this Yugi vs. Yami conflict going on, because Yugi thinks of Yami as an obstacle to a certain extent. Once he makes certain realizations, however, it becomes more of a Yugi vs. Self conflict. The voice of Desire vs. the voice of Reason.

Go, Reason!

Now that I'm in the imperative mood, I'll end with this:

Review! (please)