Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Troll Smut ❯ The Unsmutty Prologue ( Prologue )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

"I really don't think this is a good plan." Ryou pleaded with his Yami, "Not that you've ever really had the best interests of other people in mind, but this is going too far."

"And how far is too far?" the alien soul thought at him. In control for the moment, his voice echoed around the dark chamber.

Ryou, propped against a more solid bit of the darkness, sighed. "You know what I mean. You've always been sort of sick, but at least it suited you. This plan of yours doesn't make sense."

A chuckle rumbled through the nonspace, "This will help me more than you think. The best way to succeed is to undermine those around you, after all."

Ryou sighed at his Yami, rubbing his head with a hand. The air of the void always seemed to fluff his hair more than usual. "So, once you toss them into the Shadow Realm, what do you plan to do then?"

"You'll see." As if on cue, light opened up in front of Bakura. He had a big-screened veiw of a street, that bobbed a bit as Yami Bakura walked down it. "You never know, you might enjoy it."
~

Hiroto and Katsuya were splayed on opposite ends of the couch, watching television. It was some sort of game show where the contestant had to answer questions in a certain amount of time, before a door opened and they were covered in goo or pudding or killer bees. Both of the boys had a blank look on their faces, both sets of eyes glues to the screen. Katsuya had the added bonus of potato crisps, which were migrating from bag to mouth in a regular rhythm.

A rhythm which was interrupted when a poor women had failed to answer the questions quickly, and was now covered with mayonaise. "That's disgusting!" Katsuya said, crumbs falling out of his mouth to land on the couch cusions and shirt, purpose forever unfulfilled.

Hiroto looked at the other boy from the corner of his eye. "The television, or you?" the tiniest smirk twitched his lip.

"What?" Katsuya blinked, fistful of crisps still forgotten half-way through their journey.

Hiroto adopted a deep, pseudo-American accent, much like the announcer on the wildlife shows his mum was so fond of watching. "And here we have the Jounouchi-yajuu. Watch how he decimates his prey, ripping them apart. As he tears into the poor animals, he makes a mess of himself and his best friend's couch. The most notable factor of the Jounouchi-yajuu is his uncanny ability to leave before parent get home, thus leaving his best friend to clean up after him."

Katsuya, who had been listening to the whole thing with wide eyes, slowly crushed the crisps in his fist, who would have sreamed as they were mashed to bits, is only they had little potato voices. "You bastard!" Laughing despite it, Katsuya threw himself at his best friend, mashing crisp crumbs into his hair.

Hiroto, his delecately crafted hair-point smashed, growled and entered the fray with a vengeance.

The doorbell rang a few moments later, and the two boys paused. Katsuya had just registered Hiroto's hand on his crotch, and was still working through that when Hiroto snatched it away. Mumbling something nonchalant, he wriggled out from under Katsuya (who had been besting him just when they were interrupted) and went to answer the door.

He swung it open to reveal Bakura, who had an inward-looking expression that Hiroshi had seen so many times on Yuugi that he barely noticed it. What he did notice, however, was the ring that hung around his friend's neck.

"Hello, Honda-kun." Ryou said, looking perfectly, normally abashed at showing up without calling first. His eyes took in the smooshed hair, then quickly looked away. Hiroto had a sneaking suspicion he was trying not to laugh. "Is Jounouchi-kun here?"

"Er, yeah. Come on in." Hiroto turned and padded back into the living room, leaving Bakura to let himself in. Katsuya was back on the couch in a circle of crumbs. Staring at the television, the crisps migration into oblivion back underway, he didn't even glance up. He made an inquiring sort of noise through the food.

"It's Bakura." Hiroto said, flopping over the back of the couch on the other side, feet dangling in the air. He snagged a crisp from the bag and munched upside-down, trying not to grin at Katsuya's incredulous look.

"Bakura! Has he ever come over before?"

Hiroshi shrugged upside-down, a difficult and odd-looking feat. "That's not all, he's wearing the Millenium Necklace." Hiroshi quirked a brow at Katsuya's expression.

The blond mulled the thought over a moment, then it clicked and he nearly choked. "The thing that makes Eevil Bakura?" (the name accented with spooky finger wigglies) "I thought you tossed it off the castle at Duel Island...?"

"Well, I'm pretty sure I did, but he's wearing it. He doesn't seem so evil now, though, so maybe-"

He was cut off by a soft fwapping as Ryou wandered into the room, looking around. Hiroshi's house slippers were in his room, where he had forgotten them the night before, and Katsuya was wearing the guest slipper, so Ryou had put on the only ones by the door. They belongs to Mr.Honda, and flopped about oddly on Bakura's (much smaller) feet. "Were you talking about me, Honda-kun?"

"Yeah." Katsuya said, never one for preamble. "It's just that you've never come over before. And you're wearing the freaky necklace thing again."

"Oh, this." Ryou fingered the Ring and smiled, "I don't know what was wrong with it before, but it seems fine now. Nothing to worry about, Jounouchi-kun."

(Meanwhile, Ryou was giving his window a disgusted look. "You're terrible at this. I can't beleive you're fooling them."

(The disembodied voice cackled. "People will beleive anything they want to be true, Ryou. Those two don't want to think of their friend Bakura being crazy and trying to kill them. They're not entirely sure most of the Duel Island garbage happened at all. Besides, the part you'll enjoy is coming up.")

Hiroto was patting the couch space between him and his friend, while trying to wipe some crumbs off the cusion. "Sit down. Me and Jounouchi were just hanging out." When Ryou eyed his hair, he felt the need to add, "Watching television."

Ryou perched on the edge of the couch, watching the two boys pretend to watch television while they were actually watching him.

("Three... Two... One...")

"Rauauraugh! I am evil Ring Yami Bakura! I shall suck your souls out! Bwa-ha-hah!" Ryou wiggled evily.

Instantly, both Hiroto and Katsuya were on top of him, the blond holding him down while Hiroto pried the ring off Bakura's neck. "I knew it! The ring still makes him go crazy!" As soon as the loop was pulled from his neck, Ryou stopped struggling and adopted a confused puppy look.

("I still can't beleive they're falling for it." Ryou muttered, hands pressed to the window and peering out at Hiroto dangling the (fake) ring in front of him. "And I still don't know what purpose of yours this serves."

("Patience, my whiny host. You'll see soon enough." Ryou knew the Yami had created the fake Ring with magic, and that its purpose was to bring Katsuya and Honda to the Shadow Realm. But beyond that, he was lost. 'Well, can't be helped, I guess. Poor Honda-kun, poor Jounouchi-kun, I wish I could warn them, but I don't even know what to warn them against...' Ryou settled himself back down to watch whatever was going to happen. He had grown surprisingly numb to the spirit's plans lately, and had a sneaking suspicion this entire set-up was just to scare a reaction from him.)

"-I'm confiscating this," Hiroto was saying. "Obviously tossing it off a cliff didn't help, so I'll just have to keep it here."

Ryou blinked up at him. "My Ring...?! Honda-kun, Jounouchi-kun, what happened? Why am I here?"

Katsuya sighed, "You don't remember anything, Bakura? Anything at all?" He shook his head in a way that made ryou-inside-the-head feel slightly nauseated.

"You were taken over by the evil spirit again." Honda tossed the Ring on the couch. "Go on home, Bakura. I'll walk you to the door."

Katsuya followed behind, and together they saw Ryou out, bowing and apologizing the whole time he put his shoes on and half-way down the walk.

"Well, that fills my weird factor for the next three months." Katsuya muttered, throwing himself on the much-abused couch and rising again with a yelp. He held the Ring in one hand, and was massaging his arse with the other.

Hiroto chuckled, watching Katsuya's hand for a moment before snapping his eyes upwards. "What the hell do we do with that thing?" He asked, gesturing towards the Ring.

"Dunno." Katsula flipped the thing over in his hand a few times, hefting it, "Doesn't feel very evil to me. Just a little... tingly."

"Tingly?" Hiroto was about to question the use of the word "tingly" for anything as he stepped forward to take the Ring from Katsuya. As his hands closed around it, he met Jounouchi's eyes, and the world exploded in a flash of argyle.
~

"Argyle?!"

"I happen to like argyle, thankyouverymuch." His Yami sounded far too amused for the world to be safe.