Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ White Padded Room ❯ Conception ( Chapter 4 )

Chapter Four: Conception

Idiot! I can't believe I just did that. All of that time I had spent telling myself that I wouldn't do things like that was lost. There was no point in trying to protect what I had anymore. Surly I had destroyed whatever trust Bakura had, had in me with a single kiss. He would never be able to look at me the same way nor will I be able to look at myself. I had taken advantage of the vulnerable state he was in. He shouldn't have trusted me.

Really, I shouldn't have trusted myself. I should've known something like this would happen sooner or later. It was inevitable with him so close by all the time. How I ever thought I could resist pulling him close to me, kissing his lips that were easily within my reach. It had been naïve of me to believe I would hold back.

How could I have suppressed these feelings? He had done nothing in order to make them go away. In fact he only made them grow stronger, even unknowing that he was doing so. Unaware of what he was doing he let me get closer to him, he nourished these feelings inside of me until I could hold them back no longer.

The feeling of my arms around him as he so openly wept before me was what had sent me over. The unquenchable thirst to silence his suffering had taken over me. I had acted merely on instinct. What self-destructive instincts I have! If only I had not let my mind become clouded by the soft lull of his breath, or the heave of his chest as he sobbed helplessly.

"Katsuya?"

The way he had said his name still runs through my mind. I couldn't tell his the tone in his voice. Was it wonderment? Disgust? Hate? Shame? Confusion? Surprise? Not single one of them seemed to fit. Perhaps it was a large sum of a many emotions put into the single bout of my name. That one simple word, my own name, was the one thing I had even been vaguely aware of… at least until I had kissed him.

Though I was fully aware of what I was doing by the time I had pressed my lips against his, I hadn't realized exactly whom I was doing it to. All my mind would register was the softness of the lips I had been longing to claim, the breath that mingled with my own as it drew sharply out from his mouth. At that moment nothing else had really mattered to me.

Then I realized exactly whom I was doing all of this to. I panicked. How could I not? Bakura was never known as one of the more friendly of creatures. If I had stayed there he would surely pummel me, even without his arms. Not that I didn't deserve it… it's human nature to protect oneself. No matter how deserving I was of whatever he had planned on doing, my body and mind had told me to run. So I did. The two of them combined out weighs how I feel in my heart. After all, human nature is what controls us all.

Unconsciously my hand has slipped up, my fingers now touching my lips. The sweet prickling sensation is still coursing through them. Part of me wonders what would've happened if I had hesitated just a few seconds longer. That part of me wonders if I had stayed, would he have returned my kiss or rejected me? I have a feeling that is also the suicidal part of me that seems to still be lingering inside of me.

Funny, I would've thought I would've been rid of it by now.

Day Seventeen

Over the course of five days something had been seriously bothering Bakura. Jounouchi had been avoiding him. Knowing that was a constant tug on the back of his mind, a not-so-friendly reminder that he should get up and do something about it. Bakura didn't enjoy being ignored even in the slightest bit.

Nor did he like the spaced out look that constantly lingered over the blonde's features. Those normally bright, full-of-life-and-energy honey brown eyes darkened a great bit as they stared off at nothing; it was like Katsuya had become a doll. He always seemed as if his mind was somewhere far away, locked up into the deep depths of his own mind.

It was really beginning to irk Bakura. He could understand why Jounouchi would distance himself if he had a chance to explain how he felt about what had happened. That was if he had, had the chance. Ever since the blonde had returned to the room the next morning he had not spoken a word. The nurses seem to think that his condition is becoming worse by the second. And to anyone who happened to look upon the blonde at that very time would think the same. That was only one more thing to rub Bakura the wrong way.

The only time the spirit was able to use to calm his nerves were times like this, when Jounouchi was in a session with Dr. Tenmai. The small amount of time he spent there was spent relaxing his muscles in minds in order to prevent himself from the self-induced heart attack he was sure would be creeping up on him. Technically it wouldn't be self-induced given the fact the reason he was so uptight was certain beyond frustrating, blonde roommate of his. If something such as that would indeed happen, he would be sure to haunt that damned blonde bastards ass. At that point, if the mentioned blonde got any worse, he would be hoping for it.

Brown as slipped close as Bakura found he lost himself inside his own head. He was acting just as Jounouchi had been recently. Minus the vacant expression, that is. Worrying about him had turned the spirit exactly like him. He frowned at that. Maybe he had been locked up in this place for too long. He was starting to become soft.

A sudden creaking coming from the door made Bakura snap away from his thoughts. His eyes opened looking at if possible an even deader looking version of Jounouchi then what had left the room just an hour ago. Jou's face was pale from what Bakura assumed was lack of sleep, from the highly noticeable bags underneath his eyes. Faintly, he noted how the blonde seemed to be having trouble walking. Ever couple of steps Jou would pause as if he was about to pass out at any second. "You okay?" Bakura asked looking over the blonde once again. He really was a mess.

Jou looked over at him, giving him a week smile. "I'm fine," he muttered softly. The expression that appeared on Bakura's face was that of total disbelief. Of course Jou wasn't fine. He looked like a train had hit him! Bakura's uneasy gaze made Jou sweat visibly. "I'm fine!" He said again, though this time a lot louder then the previous one. He knew Bakura wouldn't believe him anyways, but he just had to say it. He knew he wasn't fine. Jou knew he wasn't fine at all. His head was spinning with an intensity that made the muscles in his stomach clench. He hadn't slept or ate in days. All the nurses along with Dr. Tenmai were worried about his conditions. And quite frankly, Jou was afraid for himself with them.

A sudden wave of dizziness passed over Jounouchi. He felt like he was suffering from heroin withdrawal all over again. There was a steady aching throb in his head, ringing in his ears. He clenched his teeth to help fight it down. "Ech…" the sharp sound of pain squeezed through his clenched teeth.

"Jou?" Bakura said softly. His voice sounded so distant, like he was yelling from the other side of a long hall and not just a few feet away. Everything was going black and soon the cries of Bakura were unheard.

There was small thump as Jounouchi collapsed on the floor. Bakura's eyes widened, and then narrowed. "Baka!" He yelled, "Don't pass out on me! I can't do anything to help…" His voice trailed off a bit at the end. He got off the bed as fast as he could and ran to the door, cursing the fact that he couldn't open it. Bakura lifted his foot thankful it wasn't a doorknob he had to turn. Once he pulled it open some he stuck his other foot in the way so it wouldn't close then went to find the nearest nurse.

~*~*~

The slightest shiver ran through Jounouchi's body as he slowly came back to consciousness. There was something cold atop his forehead. That was the first thing he noticed aside from the splitting headache he had. However, he had had that prior to passing out. The second thing he noticed was that he wasn't on the floor as he should be, but indeed he was lying atop a bed that he presumed to be his own.

"Bakura?" He groaned out, sitting up. Sitting up was definitely not a good idea. A similar feeling of vertigo came upon him. Nope, really shouldn't have sat up. He opened his eyes, but couldn't see anything aside from a blur. Yet Jou could tell that there was someone sitting next to them. He could feel it. He fell back onto the bed with a soft 'plunk' vaguely wondering if the person beside him was Bakura or not.

"Baka," the word sounded distant, but there was no way he could mistake the harsh voice. The one next to him was undeniably Bakura and from the sounds of it, he wasn't too happy. "Baka…" he said again. That time it sound a lot clearer then the prior one, though Jou was sure it was merely a whisper. "You have got to be the most irrational, idiotic person I have ever met, Katsuya." Those words made Jou blink a bit. As he did things came into focus. Well, not completely, but everything was a lot less fuzzy then it had been before.

Amber eyes rested on the sharp features of Bakura. His eyes were darker then they normally were and a smirk was on his lips. As to what the spirit was thinking at that moment, Jounouchi was completely in the dark. "You never think before you make a decisions, even ones as ridiculous as not eating or sleeping for five days straight." Bakura was laughing darkly now. His chest rumbled with the deep guffaw. The scene made Jou shiver in fright. Bakura was defiantly at one of his more crazy points at the moment. One in which the blonde was not too happy with being on the receiving end. "You never conceder how your decisions might affect other people."

Those dark eyes trailed over Jounouchi, glaring intently. There was no denying it, Bakura looked beyond pissed. "I don't like being worried about you, Katsuya," he said dryly, the words in the form of a gruff murmur, "I don't like it, but I am. Baka, why do you have to be so nice to everyone all the time? Why couldn't you just act hateful towards me like everyone else does? It's not like it would matter to me, I'm used to it."

The glare deepened, making the blonde squirm under its passion. It burned wherever it settled upon. "But you had to be nice. You had to care about how I felt. And for once I don't understand exactly what I'm supposed to do. I don't know how to take control of this situation. You've made me weak like no other person could," Bakura laughed again, his head shaking so his soft gray locks fell in his eyes.

A little bit slower this time, Jounouchi sat up. There was the sharp sting in his head, telling him to lie back down. He paid it no heed. Bakura was trembling before his eyes. Jou didn't know what to make of it. He did the only thing that came to his mind, something that seemed to come naturally to him and even more so when it came to Bakura. He reached out and wrapped his arms around the shaking spirit, pulling him against his chest. He didn't know if there was anything more that he could do.

"I hate you," Bakura stated plainly, the words coming out as if it, it were an everyday thing to say. For Bakura, it probably was. Nevertheless he let himself fall into the warm embrace of the blonde boy. It was so easy for him to let himself stay there. He didn't understand why, but it was. It was so easy to let himself be consumed by the warmth the other produced, the pleasure from his body just being near by. It was both comforting and exhilarating knowing that the blonde had no idea what was going on in his head right then.

Jou stared at the top of Bakura's head for a moment, sitting in silence. "I know," he finally said after the long pause then repeated it again, "I know…" Then Jounouchi's body tensed completely. He had felt the faintest brush of Bakura's lips against his neck. It was just an accident. They were close enough for something along those lines to happen. It had to have been an accident and that was what Jou was going to believe.

Lips brushed against the skin of his neck again. This time they were more apparent, pressing themselves for a lingering second before pulling away to relocate themselves. The kisses became more aggressive, pushing themselves in a bruising manner over every millimeter of soft flesh they could find. The rough teeth that they concealed would pick at the skin leaving small purple-red marks wherever they wished. Once Bakura bit too hard, piercing the flesh they were so relentlessly attacking. Jounouchi could feel Bakura's lips quirk upwards into a smug smirk against the nape of his neck. His warm tongue darted across the blood-damped skin, just grazing it enough to lap up the blood and nothing more.

Finally Jou regained his sense of control. He pushed Bakura away so he could look into his cavernous black-brown eyes. His hands were shaking against the spirit's shoulders, holding him back with the weakest of force. Red tinted the skin of his cheeks showing how flustered the insistent ministrations had left him though not indicating the warm feeling he had in his chest and his gut. "W-what… are… you doing…?" Jounouchi asked, panting out the words.

"Giving you everything you've denied yourself of," the statement that left the spirit's lips was simple and to the point. "Don't you like it?" Bakura asked, his voice husky, deep and still but a whisper. Easily he had gotten past the arms holding him back. Katsuya wasn't even trying to hold him back. He wanted every little bit of everything that Bakura had to offer him.

A small whimper was extracted from Jounouchi's throat as Bakura's mouth came in contact with his own. He froze again. Those lips were demanding, pushing up against his mouth harshly but moving slowly to torture him. Honey-hued eyes fluttered closed as a moan escaped from Jou. He could feel the sensation squeezing at his heart, its invisible hands tightening around it, urging him to give in. He turned his head to the side, drawing himself away from the divine tormenting kiss of Bakura. "You don't have to do this for me…" He murmured only loud enough for his voice to reach the spirit's ears.

The sound of an amused chuckle filled the room. Bakura drew near to Jounouchi's ear, letting his breath fall upon the shell before he spoke. "Did I ever say that I was doing this for you?" He chuckled again, mocking the blonde for assuming such things. "I am giving you what you want, there is no mistaking that. However it's just an added bonus. Really all I am doing is taking what I want, what you have denied me of as you have denied yourself." The scornful tone had left his voice replacing it with one of raw blandishment. "I want you, Katsuya."

Inevitably those blunt words made Katsuya shiver. They were words that he had never expected to hear Bakura says yet they had been clearly said and now out in the open for the blonde to bask in their lavish promise. He let himself fall onto the warm softness of his bed, gazing up at Bakura with his now submissive ocher orbs. If Bakura wanted it and he, himself wanted it, there was no reason for him to deny either of them any longer. "Do as you wish," he whispered, looking right into the other's eyes, "I will no longer stop you."

The sounds of movements were heard as the silver haired spirit made his way over the laying blonde, his legs straddling the submissive one's waist. "Glad to hear it," Bakura replied in a low voice, letting his head dip down to capture Katsuya's lips just as roughly as before. The kiss was slow like the unfinished first one with Bakura's lips relentlessly pushing themselves against the slightly parted ones of Jou's. This was going to be dragged out as far as Bakura could get it.

He caught the blonde's upper lip in-between his teeth, letting his tongue roll across it. He kept their eyes locked the whole time, watching every bit of the reaction he got out of Jou. Honey eyes flickered into the back of Jou's head as he let out a small moan. Satisfied with that reaction Bakura let the said boy's lip roll out of his teeth, not letting the contact between their eyes break.

"Tease," Jou muttered through hard breaths. Bakura smirked again, quite pleased with the reaction he was getting. He brought the fair-haired boy into another kiss, this time letting it go further then the last ones. It wasn't slow, but rather fast and passionate causing both of their eyes to flutter closed. Gradually the kiss became something slower, softer and heaven forbid, almost gentle. It wasn't originally how Bakura had intended it to be. Annoyed with himself, he jammed his knee into Jou's thigh.

The blonde pulled back from this kiss, letting out a small hiss. "Ow! What was that for?" He shrieked letting his eyes narrow rather angrily.

"For making me care about you, that's what!" Bakura yelled back at him, his own eyes narrowing mockingly.

Jou could only stare at him. The glare that he had been maintaining slowly faded away. He turned his head to the side so he was looking at Bakura from the corner of his eye. "Couldn't you wait?" he asked.

"Of course not," Bakura said. He had intended it to sound a lot harsher then how it had came out. "Right now I can't decide whether or not I would rather fuck you or beat you."

"If you can't decided, do both!" Jounouchi snapped feeling a little more then annoyed with the fact that Bakura choose this moment to become confused. To say it wasn't the best of times would be an understatement. Jou could still feel the affect of the spirit's body being fully pressed against him coursing through his veins. It was beginning to get quite uncomfortable inside of his pants. The sudden sound of laughter made his eyes narrow. "What?"

Bakura shook his head, letting silver strands of hair fall into his face. "I never thought you the masochistic kind Katsuya," he said with an amused grin on his face before laughing again.

"Just shut up and touch me already."

The demanding tone of voice Jounouchi had chosen to use caused Bakura to raise a fine silver eyebrow. He nodded his head downwards to the straightjacket that currently confined him and said, "If you haven't noticed my hands are still sort of preoccupied." Amber eyes blinked for a moment until an adorable look came across Jou's face, showing that he had indeed forgotten about it.

His hands moved up behind Bakura's back, working their way to the belt-buckles, which held the jacket close. Jou took this time to sneak in another kiss, pressing his lips firmly against the mouth of Bakura. His lips along with his teeth were already parted, inviting the spirit to consume him in a kiss. Willingly, Bakura slipped his tongue inside, brushing it across the of the blonde's mouth.

One part was undone and eager hands moved onto the next. The lightly heated air hit the silver haired spirit's back, causing him to shudder. He began to kiss Jou more brutally, adding a harsh force to draw small moans of pleasure out of the other's throat. The second part came undone exposing more of his back to the warm air. The sounds he had craved for fell into his mouth which muffled them, but he could hear them ringing inside of his ears. And as the soft mewls of bliss reached his ears the last buckle holding him back was undone. Bakura pulled away as the straightjacket in which had confined him for so long was pulling off of his body.

A wide array of scars greeted the honey-brown eyes of Jounouchi. They completely covered the pale white flesh, coming in every shape and size the blonde could possible think of. He took a moment to view the site before him, the disfigured flesh, the way the dirty gray locks of hair fell upon them, then unsure look in Bakura's black-brown eyes. He studied them all, mesmerizing the shape and length of each of the scars as he ran his fingers over them.

There was one particularly long one that ran from the upper part of Bakura's inner arm all the way down to the end of his wrist. Jounouchi let his fingers trail over them, brushing by in a feather-light manner. He vaguely noted the sharp breath Bakura let in as he did so. "Did you do these yourself?" the blonde asked letting his fingers trail up the scar again before heading back down.

"Do you think anyone else would've gotten close enough to cut me this many times?" Bakura asked him, trying to suppress another shiver as the placid ministrations on his arm continued. He failed in doing so, shivering into the gentle touch.

The comment made Jounouchi blink. "I suppose not," he answered smiling lightly. It had been the first time in a while Bakura had seen Jou truly smile at him. The small action had made a rush of warmth pass over him and again he shuddered.

"Yes, I did them myself," Bakura whispered. He hadn't understood why he had done so, but the tone had seemed to suit the mood entirely. A mood in which somehow had gone from aggressively passionate to soothingly loving. A transition in which made no sense in Bakura's mind, he wasn't used to acting this way. Yet it was a perfect fit to how he felt he should act around Jounouchi. How could he be rough with someone so kind? He chuckled slightly to himself. The soft titter was left unquestioned this time. Jou understood exactly why he was laughing.

The said blonde wrapped his fingers around the slender arm his fingers had been brushing against. He brought closer to his face affectively pulling the Bakura closer to him. Jou's lips brushed lightly against the scar, admiring how it felt against his lips. He had been expecting it to be course since it was so large and wide, but it nothing like that at all. He trailed his lips over it again, the second of many kisses to come. A trail in which the scar was the path to their final destination, each one kiss planted softly upon it. Once at the top Jou released the arm, letting it fall limply beside him. His hands reached forward, cupping both sides of Bakura's face. He placed the last of his planned kisses against the soft lips there, and then whispered against them, "You're crazy."

A small laugh escaped Bakura's lips. His hands reached for the shirt in which covered Jounouchi's chest, taking the ends and pulling them over the aforementioned blonde's head. He let his fingers brush over the smooth flesh in a similar fashion, as Katsuya had done to him before. He lowered his lips to claim the others again, pausing for a brief moment to mutter two small words, "You're beautiful."

The space between them closed in a soft kiss, both of their mouths shut. Small jolts of electricity raced through both of them as the closed mouthed kiss continued. They weren't the same jolts of passion they had experienced before. No, they were quite different. They were something else, something sweet that sent comforting warmth through out their veins. It was indescribable.

They parted, staying silent for a while with their eyes locked. Jounouchi was searching for something in those near black eyes. He himself didn't fully understand what he was looking for; he just knew it was something. After a while he had stopped, letting the words fall of his tongue naturally, "I love you." He hadn't known where it had come from, but what was said he wouldn't deny.

The silver haired spirit's eyes widened considerably. Instinctively he had jerked away, not out of disgust but rather out of utter surprise. Whatever it was that he had been expecting the searching blonde to say it defiantly hadn't been those three words. "Katsuya…?" He whispered unsure of what he should say.

Jounouchi just looked at him, quite unsure of what how to act right then himself. "Bakura… I think I love you…" Again the words fell of his tongue easily and for a moment all they could do was look at each other.

~*~*~

Oh look! My Bakura/Jounouchi is off too. *twitches* I hoped everyone enjoyed it despite my lack of creativity this time around. It's so much shorter then I wanted it… Oh well. I do hope everyone enjoyed this chapter. As you can probably tell the lemon, if written, will be a continuation of this chapter. Which is why it's so short to begin with. Umm… I tried to explain things a little more for Bakura this chapter. I hope that worked. Drop me a line, comment, question, suggestion or just plain say hello!