Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ You Make Me Sick ❯ Play the Game ( Chapter 4 )

Chapter 4 "Play the Game."

Author notes: Thank you so much everyone for reviewing, it really lifts my spirit. Don't think everything is going to be sunshine and roses since they kissed. It's all I'm going to say. ^_^ Oh, and about the rating…uh…is there a 14A rating? ^^; Um, I'm making up a few things to Bakura's past when he was a tomb robber…eh, you'll see. Enjoy!

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We were on the bathroom floor, with Yami underneath me, his amethyst eyes staring up into mine. If you think for one moment I was becoming attached to the freak, you're wrong. This is only a game to me. It's always been a game but no one realises it. All you have to do is play it correctly and you'll get what you want. I was determined to make Yami realise that it's no longer about him. He's no longer the central character here. I could feel that he was letting himself be guided by his feelings. That's only for the weak, those who have no other way to defend themselves.

I'm not that weak. I didn't need my feelings to guide me. I thought that Heart of the Cards deal was complete bull-shit. What kind of duellist doesn't know what cards are in his deck and in what order? Was Seto Kaiba the only one that knew what the hell he was doing? But back to the present…I had Yami right where I wanted him. Right to the point where he was the most vulnerable-and at my mercy. This is all I've wanted since I first really saw Yami at the Duellist Kingdom. To have him know that he's not all he thinks he is.

I suppose what I'm trying to do is shatter that big-ass ego of his. It's hard to do, considering the fool believes it all. But his feelings-those pesky feelings of his-would prove to be his downfall. You don't get emotionally attached to anyone or anything. All that comes out of that is getting yourself hurt. I learned that a long time ago. I was determined, or hell-bent, whatever you prefer, to play the game, not to be involved in it.

"So this is what they call emotion roller coasting," Yami muttered as he stared up at me. I didn't know what to say to that, so I just kept looking down at him. He was right at my mercy-something he wasn't used to. I wanted to relish every moment of this, but I realised then what the game was all about-making sure your opponent doesn't know what's coming next; keep them on their toes.

Abruptly, I got up and tightened the towel around my waist. Pushing him to the side, I opened the door and went into the bedroom to change. I knew what he was going to do as soon as I left-he was going to try and sort out what had just happened. Yami was going to try and reason out what had happened. I didn't much care for such after-thought. Things happen, get over it and move on. There's no damn reason to sit there and reflect on shit that happened before. It happened, whoo-hoo. So tell me something, if you go over what occurred, does that change anything? No. So why do you do it?

It must be one of those things they do to inflict self-guilt because they did something wrong. Please. I have done thousands of things wrong and I haven't thought about it since. And this was going to be my coup, making the great Yami Yugi fall to pieces with nothing but words. All the world's greatest duellists and especially Pegasus made Yami sweat, but they never properly tested him. They never gave him a real emotional challenge. Yami is great at Duel Monsters, there's no denying that, but how is he at life? So caught up in his own little world he doesn't realise what an idiot he is. Yami may have proved that he was a good duellist and that he believes in his ability, but what about himself?

That's where his flaw is. That's where the biggest flaw of Yami is. He doesn't know anything about himself. He's the King of Games; he defeated Pegasus … big freaking deal. No one knows anything about him other than that because he doesn't even know himself. I know what he is-he's all talk when it comes to things that don't involve Duel Monsters. Because he's done what he's done at the Duellist Kingdom no one's questioned him. And just because Yami's a pharaoh doesn't mean he's so great. Now this may sound like jealousy, and I suppose to a degree it is, but that's not it, you see. What it is…is bringing him down to earth. He's been sitting on some pedestal thinking he's the freaking king of the world.

But in reality, Yami's nothing but a lost child. When he's confronted on his feelings, he's defenceless. None of his cheerleaders or his Aibou even realise how fragile he really is. A shell of praise protects Yami, and to expose the real Yami, all you have to do is break the walls down. That's what I intend to do, because quite frankly, his attitude pisses me off. He doesn't know what it's like to be hurt, to be in pain…I intend to make him feel it all.

Walking over to the dresser, I opened up the drawer and pulled out my clothes. Before I put them on, I opened the drawer that held Yami's jacket and stared at it for a bit. He wasn't wearing it when he came into the bathroom. My hands travelled across the fabric of the jacket. No conscious thought was running through my mind as I touched the jacket, then suddenly I pulled away. What the hell was I doing?! Bakura, this is nothing but a game. That kiss meant nothing.

Nothing…

Somehow I couldn't convince myself that it meant nothing. I knew a kiss bounded two people together, no matter who they are. But that kiss didn't mean anything. It was only a tool I utilised to play this game. That is all it was. It didn't mean anything. Nothing at all…right? Oh shut the hell up Bakura! You've become too soft since the end of that tournament! Quickly I slammed the drawer shut that contained Yami's jacket and put on my own clothes. I stared at my reflection in the mirror and demanded answers.

Of course my reflection wouldn't reply. My Aibou would, but of course, he's out with his friends while I'm down here going through emotional hell. "What is wrong with me?" I whispered to my reflection. "Why am I suddenly changing? I am used to this. I am the master of assassinating the mind. Fuck Yami! This is his entire fault! He's the one changing me!" My reflection stared back at me. "The hell am I saying? You're not going to reply…" I sighed and pressed my palms harder against the dresser, as if I thought that if I pressed hard enough, my palms would press through the wood.

Pull yourself together, Bakura! You're being pathetic! You're becoming worse than those screwed up mortals, worse than Yami himself! There's no point in brooding on this. Swallowing, I set my face in its usual expression. There would be no more thought on this. This is only a game, and nothing more. There is no attachment to any of this. I gave up on that a long time ago. After that one time…matters of the heart mean nothing to me.

**Flashback**

I walk up to him, locking my arms around his waist. He turns around suddenly, his beautiful eyes laced with worry. "What are you doing here? You could get caught," he whispers fearfully.

Laughing, I shake my head. "Come on, you know about me. No one could catch me. We're safe."

He didn't look convinced. "I'm not so sure…what about the last time? They nearly caught us you know." I kiss him gently on the lips to quieten him. He relaxes, and I smile. I rarely smiled, but when I was with him, I smiled.

"You worry too much," I say to him. "It's dark, most of your guardians are sleeping. There's nothing to keep us from being alone together, love."

"What would they say, if they found out?" he asks, and I sigh. He'd been doing this a lot. Wondering what would happen *if*. "That a tomb robber was in love with the Pharaoh of Egypt…?"

My eyes narrow. "Is that what you still think of me? Even after what we've already been through? You still think me a thief?"

Immediately, his beautiful eyes look worried. "You know that's not what I meant. It's what they would say."

"What they say!" I explode. "Who cares what *they* say! It doesn't matter what they say! All that matters is … us. That's it."

"Please don't be mad at me," he begs, his eyes saddened. "I couldn't stand having you mad at me, love." To everyone else, he was a powerful ruler and arrogant. When he was with me, he was…different.

"Why does it matter to you so much what they say?" I ask quietly.

He gives a little sigh. "I need acceptance."

**End Flashback**

Clenching and unclenching my fists, I glared heatedly at the mirror, hating myself for letting someone control me like that. Ever since that night, ever since that moment, I trusted no one but myself. No one could hurt me then. If you don't let yourself be exposed, there's no way they could find your weakness. There was no way they'd win. And that's what it was all about back then. Winning…no one cared about feelings, all they cared about was gain. And that's where I became like I was-am-today. I adapted their attitude, and it worked for me. I profited, and I didn't get hurt again.

That's what mattered the most. Not getting hurt. Now I was the one hurting people, I was the one that held all the cards. I was the one that gave back a fraction of the pain I had endured. Sounds selfish but have something like this happen to you and see how self-righteous you act. I picked up the Millennium Ring, the confounded place where I had spent over five millennia in limbo waiting for someone to unlock the powers; and put it around my neck. Again, I clenched my fists tightly. This time, I went a bit far as the skin broke and a small trail of blood trickled down.

Momentarily stunned, I raised up one of my hands and stared fascinated at the red substance leaking from the punctures. There were four nail marks, and a small trickle of blood running down from each of them. It felt good in a way, to have the blood trickle from the marks. I felt like I was being purified almost. But I would never be purified. I'm an evil spirit; there's no way to ever change that. And I couldn't be happier with it. When you're `evil', you don't have to think about anything that you do. All you do is because you wanted to. There's no rhyme or reason that you do what you do; it's all because you want to.

Now that's all changed. Now I'm beginning to think what the repercussions might be. I'm thinking of the consequences. I never used to think about stupid crap like that before. But now it's coming into my mind like a tidal wave-one that crushes entire cities, and one that I want to go away. I didn't like feeling like this. Feeling the … no! I am not feeling that way! That bastard deserves everything that's coming to him! He deserves every single bit of pain and suffering and brooding that he's getting. He deserves it all.

Every single minute of his brooding, every moment he wonders what's going on, every second that he's scared of his feelings, he deserves it. Yami hasn't ever felt true pain. He's felt his Hikari's pain, but he's never felt his own pain. He's never felt like he's at the bottom of the barrel, he hasn't felt what it means to fail in life. All of these things that he hasn't experienced I will make him feel ten-fold.

Why am I doing all of this? Yami's good, you say. He's changed; he's not like how he was during the duellist tournament. He doesn't think of just himself anymore, you protest, Yami thinks of his friends. Don't make me throw up. Yami doesn't think about anyone but himself, he just humours those idiots he calls friends.

And the reason he deserves all of this suffering is because…he doesn't remember that it was him that caused me all that pain 5000 years ago.

-TBC-

Author's notes: *grins* Things aren't so clear now, are they? Please review and let me know what you think. I really value your feedback. ^_^