Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ You Make Me Sick ❯ The Bloopers. ( Chapter 7 )

Chapter 7 "Goof-ups galore."

Author's notes: Wow! 165 reviews! *Hugs everyone* Thank you so much! I'm very happy you all like this story. Now this is the blooper chapter, and for the rest of you that wanted another chapter, don't you fret! I already have a sequel idea churning in my head, just have to check if the gerbil in the wheel is dead… ^^; OK! Now I am sending out a message of help to all you Yu-Gi-Oh! Fans. The sequel deals with Yami Malik/Malik Ishtar, but I haven't seen him in an episode or really know anything about him. So if you would be so kind, please email me or in your review leave what you know about Malik, I'll be sure to give thanks! ^_^

Oh one more thing…you people are even more evil than I am! What's with everyone's obsession and having someone walk in on Yami and Bakura in a love scene? *Snickers* You're all EVIL! I'll see what I can do in the sequel.

* * *

~ Chapter 1 ~

*Bakura hates Yami talking so much…*

Bakura: Are you still talking?

Yami: Yes, that's generally what I do when I open my mouth and I make sounds.

Bakura: …there's no need to be sarcastic.

Yami: Of course there is! *Smiles brightly*

Bakura: Can I shoot him now? Please? *Looks pleadingly at Sasha*

Sasha: Nope! ^_^

Bakura: Damn it all…

~><~

*Yami seems to think Bakura cares…*

Yami: Why Bakura, are you jealous?
Bakura: Yes, because I dream of having a buckle-infested outfit.

Yami: *agitated* What is everyone's flipping problem with the buckles?!

Bakura: They're that damn ugly!

Yami: That's enough out of you!

Bakura: Ooh, I'm so scared of you! Your buckles might attack me!

Yami: No, but my fist might. *Clenches fist*

Sasha: Now, now, no violence you two! ^__^

Bakura: Why are you so cheerful?
Sasha: Because you're my slaves of amusement! *Cackle*

Yami/Bakura: o_o;;

~><~

*Ryou has fun with thought-speak. It's spiffy!*

Ryou: Bakura, what are you doing?

Bakura: Aibou, Yami's getting on my nerves.
Ryou: Oh I know! Everyone says that Yami doesn't shut up and by Jove, I think they're right!

Bakura: Um, Aibou…

Ryou: And did you see his hair? Talk about sticking the fork in the electrical socket!

Yami: HEY! There is nothing wrong with my hair! *Grumbles and fiddles with his hair*

Bakura: *ignoring Yami* Aibou…

Ryou: *going on, oblivious* And that whole heart of the cards dealie? Who believes that? Why I think that a duellist should-

Bakura: SHUT UP ALREADY!

~><~

*Ryou gets materialistic!*

Yugi: What's the matter Ryou? You were all right a minute ago.

Ryou: *dramatic sigh* Bakura just told me that my lottery numbers are all wrong.

Yugi: Oh no! *Pats Ryou's shoulder* You'll win next time!
Ryou: I sure hope so. I was counting on those big bucks.

Yugi: *sweatdrops* You sound awfully materialistic…

Ryou: I'm getting sick of being the nicey-nice doofus, okay?
Yugi: Uh…if you say so.

~><~

*Planning is always good…*

Yugi: Don't worry about that, Ryou! I have the perfect way!

Ryou: Oh good…because I was wondering if our Yamis wouldn't have noticed our diabolical plan.
Yugi: There's really no need to insult my intelligence.

Ryou: Sorry old chap, but it's because of your height.

Yugi: Oh shove it.

Ryou: *snickers*

Sasha: Hey! No dissing the short people!

Ryou: Oh … I almost forgot, you're short too.

Sasha: *eyes narrow* Watch it, bub.

~><~

*Bakura the Relic Hunter!*

Bakura: You want me to get what from the basement?

Ryou: I want you to go and get my rubber ducky! You know I can't take a bath without it!
Bakura: Uh, isn't that supposed to be your YEARBOOK, idiot?

Ryou: *pout* I want my rubber ducky…
Bakura: *smacks forehead* How did I end up with YOU as my light? Honestly…

Ryou: Get my rubber ducky! *Stomps foot*
Bakura: Oh get it yourself, moron…

~><~

*Yugi should take better care of his things, methinks*

Yugi: *sheepishly* I left my bag down there when Ryou was showing me around. I have to help him make supper, so do you think you can get it for me?

Yami: It's not my fault you're so absent-minded. I keep telling you not to hang out with that Wheeler kid.

Yugi: Yami! *Stamps foot* You're supposed to agree with me!

Yami: Well what if I don't want to?

Yugi: *whines* Yami! I'll tell everyone about your teddy b-

Yami: No! No! Don't do that! I'll go! *Looks absolutely petrified*

~><~

*Yami proves even Pharaohs can have selective hearing*

Yami: *shocked* They locked us in here!
Bakura: *smacks forehead* Isn't that what I just said you idiot? If your head wasn't stuck so far up your ass you might have heard me!
Yami: *sniff* Well there's no need to be so mean!

Bakura: *sweatdrops* I apologise profusely…NOT!

~><~

*Yami likes his followers*

Bakura: Ha, not so easy when the person you're talking to doesn't say `yes Yami!' or `That's a great idea, Yami!', is it, Pharaoh?

Yami: *stamps foot* Why won't you listen to me? Damn it, I was the one that had all the power back in Egypt!

Bakura: I see you lost all your brainpower as well…

Yami: That's enough out of you!
Bakura: Touchy…

~ Chapter 2 ~

*Bakura isn't a fan of 20 questions*

Bakura: Or do you just like pestering me?

Yami: Yes! It's the grandest time of all! *Begins to poke Bakura incessantly*

Bakura: Argh! Quit it! Get out of here! GAH! *Swat*

Yami: No! Heehee~! *Poke, poke, poke JAB!*

Bakura: ARGH!!!

~><~

*He also doesn't like the cheerleaders*

Bakura: …I was wondering what the hell was so great about you.

Yami: Hmm, could it be that I defeated the undefeated Seto Kaiba with Exodia AND defeated the creator of Duel Monsters?

Bakura: Eh-oh shut up.

Yami: *smirks*
Bakura: *glares* I meant, why did they hang around you without realising what an ass you are!

Yami: They think I'm hot.

Bakura: *sweatdrops* Yes, that's always the reason…

Sasha: It's fan-girl logic. *Nods to this*

~><~

*Yami has a temper, oh my!*

Yami: Has it crossed your little mind what's going on here?

Bakura: *airhead like* Oh no, like, I didn't think, like, there was anything like, wrong here Yami! *Stupid girlish giggle*

Yami: …I hate you.

~><~

*He's also a little bit slow…*

Yami: What do you mean by that, Bakura?

Bakura: Well, if you don't know I'm not going to tell you!

Yami: …Is it that time of the month already?
Bakura: Do I look like a woman to you?

Yami: Well you're sure as hell acting like one.

Sasha: *ACHEM*

Both: *sweatdrops* …oh hello! ^^;

~><~

*Sings: It's the highway to hell…*

Yami: So what is it then? The highway?

Bakura: Yes, my highway.

Yami: What's it called?

Bakura: *blinks* What?

Yami: You said it's your highway. What's the name?
Bakura: You were dropped on your head as a child, weren't you?

~><~

*Joey's a gean-ass! (only those who have seen flowers for algernon will understand.)*

Joey: So wait, you mean to tell me that you two locked up Yami and Bakura in Ryou's basement?

Yugi: *beaming* I know! Isn't it an ingenious plan?

Joey: *sweatdrops* No, not really…sounds kinda cliché…

Sasha: I'd like to see you come up with a better idea!

Joey: DAH! *Jumps back* How'd you do that?
Sasha: Special author powers. You were saying?
Joey: Uh…Heh…nothing! ^_^;

~><~

*Misinterpreting words can be dangerous*

Joey: What about you, Ryou? Do you want some of the action?

Ryou: *blinks* Excuse me?

Joey: You know, the bets …

Ryou: Oh! *Blushes* I thought you meant something else…

Tristan: *blinks* The British have dirty minds… [AN: No offence to anyone that's British!]

~><~

*How dare you piss off Joey the mighty?*

Joey: I'm going to KILL him one day!

Yugi: Sure. That's if you manage to get past all his guards, computer-programmed traps and Mokuba.

Joey: You're a real killjoy, you know that?

Yugi: *sadly* Yami keeps telling me.

Joey: Because it's true! Quit trying to steal my thunder, damn it!

Téa: *accusingly* Have you been reading my female empowerment books?!

All: *look at Téa strangely*

Téa: What? I'm the only female on this main support cast!

~><~

*Yami can count, Yay!*

Yami: *shocked* One bed…

Bakura: *heavily sarcastic* Good for you, Yami! You can count! Here, have a gold star! *Sticks it on Yami's forehead*

Yami: *childishly* YAY! *Runs around the room in glee*

Bakura: *sweatdrops* Is it too late to quit? *Sasha nods* Oh flipping hell…

~><~

*2 Yamis, a bed and a basement…*

Bakura: I don't want to hear another word from your mouth, Yami!

Yami: Is it that time of the month…?

Bakura: That's it! *Strangle*

Yami: H-help!

Sasha: Sorry, you dug your grave now lie in it.

~><~

*Bakura needs soft skin cream*

Yami: Like I'd ever touch you anyway…probably feel like sandpaper.

Bakura: Now you shut up! It's not my fault my skin's dry! I have a condition!

Yami: *blinks*

Bakura: How would you like it if I made fun of your HAIR?

Yami: What is with your obsession with my HAIR?

Bakura: It's just so freakishly pointy…

~ Chapter 3 ~

*Bakura pulls a Squall Leonhart*

Yami: *yawn* Quit the internal monologue already…

Bakura: Now you're reading my thoughts? *Wails* I feel so violated!

Yami: *stares at him blankly* Have you skipped your medication?

Bakura: …maybe.

Sasha: Oi…next time take it…you're scary like this.

~><~

*No touchy!*

Bakura: Why the hell are you this close to me?

Yami: You're really not a people person are you?

Bakura: What was your first clue…?

Yami: Your lovely people personality.

Bakura: Yeah, it's great, isn't it…now get off! >_<

~><~

*Denial ain't just a river, baby!*

Bakura: No! I didn't! I couldn't have!

Yami: *snaps his fingers in a circular motion around his head* Denial ain't just a river, baby!

Bakura: *spins around, wide-eyed* Where the hell did you come from?

Yami: You keep forgetting to lock the door.

Bakura: I do keep locking the door!

Yami: Oh…Right! I keep picking the locks! *Big, fat grin*

Bakura: *long string of curses*

~><~

*Yami freaks out, finally*

Yami: I want to talk to you about what just happened!

Bakura: *stares blankly* What just happened?
Yami: You kissed me!

Bakura: …No I didn't.

Yami: Yes you did!

Bakura: I think you're dreaming.
Yami: I remember it so clearly…because it actually happened!

Bakura: I think you're just a little to crazy, Yami.

Yami: *sits down cross-legged* But I remember it…

Bakura: I know I'm sexy and everything, but I don't want to kiss you.

Sasha: *whispers to Bakura* Nice save.

Bakura: *whispers back* Why thank you. I thought so.

Sasha: *whisper* You're still gonna have to kiss him later.

Bakura: Damn it!

~><~

*Bakura has nifty reflexes!*

Bakura: I responded out of reflex.

Yami: Reflex? I thought your reflex would to shove me as hard as you could off the bed.

Bakura: Well after that whole thing with Yami Malik…

Yami: *blink, blink* What thing?

Bakura: Well you know, us being evil and everything, stuff sort of happened.

Yami: *becoming increasingly jealous* What kind of stuff?

Bakura: I don't think I can really say…considering its PG-13 and everything…

Yami: *spazzes*

Sasha: *rolls eyes* As entertaining as that was, quit causing your co-star to go into seizures.

Bakura: *pouts* But it's so much fun!

~><~

*He can also MIND READ!*

Bakura: I could hear you thinking out there, Yami.

Yami: You COULD? So does this mean my thoughts are no longer my own?

Bakura: Hey, wait a minute-

Yami: Does this mean I am no longer in control of my destiny?

Bakura: Hey, moron, shut up for a sec-

Yami: By Ra, this is an amazing revelation I've had here!

Bakura: OH SHUT UP!

~><~

*Zebra-vision!*

Bakura: Yami, you're about as disillusioned as I thought.

Yami: It's not my fault I'm colour-blind!

Bakura: You are? *Blinks*

Yami: Well no, I just wanted to see what your reaction would be.

Sasha: Yami that was lame.

Yami: *sadly, hangs head* I know…

~><~

*Emotion Roller-coasting!*

Yami: So this is what they call emotion roller-coasting…

Bakura: No this is what they call character development. Or PMS.

Yami: Ah. That makes more sense.

Bakura: Doesn't it?
Sasha: As lovely as this revelation is, you do realise whom you're with and just how you two are positioned?

Yami/Bakura: *stare at each other for a moment*
Bakura: You know, you have really pretty eyes.

Yami: Wow, no one's actually been in coherent thought to say that before. All I get is, "what were you saying? I was lost in your eyes…"
Bakura: Well they are a really nice purple.

Yami: It's amethyst.

Bakura: Oh really?
Yami: Yeah.

Sasha: GUUUUUUUYS!

~ Chapter 4 ~

*Bakura rants for about a page and half about how weak Yami is*

Yami: *listening in on all this* Holy hell! Am I really that bad?

Bakura: Yes, worse in fact.

Yami: What did I do?

Bakura: Well-

Sasha: Ah! No revealing the plot until Yami has his revelation in chapter 5.

Yami: Wow, I get it that quickly?

Sasha: I like to advance my plot.

Bakura: There was a plot?
Sasha: Oh you shut up! I could've done far worse.

Bakura: *challengingly* Like what?

Sasha: Put you with Téa.

Bakura: *goes deathly pale* S-sorry…

Sasha: Haha! ^___^

~><~

*It's time for some more internal hell! YAY!*

Bakura: What's wrong with me? Why am I suddenly changing?

Yami: It's this magical thing called character development!

Bakura: WHAT THE HELL!?!?! HOW do you keep doing that??

Yami: Doing what? *Cute, innocent blinking*

Bakura: (censored) sneaking up on me like that!

Yami: It's MAGIC!

Bakura: *rolls eyes*

~><~

*Bakura likes the sight of pretty blood*

Bakura: *stares stupidly at his hand*

Yami: I don't get it. Why is he staring at his hand? Blood isn't shiny.

Sasha: He has a weird fascination with it. Now shut up.

Yami: But that's sadistic!

Sasha: It's BAKURA.

Bakura: *is trying hard to ignore this*
Yami: It's disgusting.

Bakura: *strangles Yami*
Sasha: Well…don't say I didn't warn you…

~ Chapter 5 ~

*Yami's a psychic*

Yami: (voice over) It was that feeling…

Bakura: *mocking him* That I'm flying Jack! *Spreads his arms out like in Titanic*

Yami: *face turns red with anger* That's just the stupid line, you ass!

Bakura: *snickers* Sorry, but it just sounds so lame…

Sasha: Yeah, okay … maybe it does…but just shut up and continue…

~><~

*Flashbacks are fun!*

Flashback Bakura: You know how much I love you…and your beautiful eyes…

Flashback Yami: Everyone loves my eyes! *SIGH* When will they realise that there's more to me than good looks and amazing eyes?

F. Bakura: *blinks* You're really vain, you know that…?

F. Yami: I can't help it if I look this good!

Sasha: Argh…just one more flashback quote to use…and this time get it right!

~><~

*I'll take `past screw-ups' for 1000, Alex*

Bakura: Do you expect me to spill the beans to you so quickly, Yami?
Yami: Of course I do! I'm the main character.
Bakura: *sweatdrops*

Sasha: Actually, you're both main characters.

Yami: Still. He should tell me everything I want to know.

Bakura: No I shouldn't…

Yami: *snaps fingers* damn it, you should've fallen for it.

Sasha: He's not as stupid as the dub villains are, Yami.

~><~

*Yami has a temper, pt. 2*

Yami: There's more you idiot!

Bakura: Hey, easy there Madonna! You didn't give me reason to think there was more.

Yami: *glares*

Sasha: *snickers*

Yami: Oh now what!

Sasha: Just … Hehe…you've been acting like a prima donna lately…

Yami: *glares*

Bakura/Sasha: *snicker*

Sasha: Hehe…sorry…*ahem* Let's continue.

~><~

*Bakura shouldn't assume things*

Bakura: Even back then it was the same. I thought it would be different in this age.

Yami: Well you're still as ambiguous as ever.

Bakura: Hey! How the hell would you know?

Yami: I remembered more than just that, you know.

Bakura: Oh sh*t.

~><~

*Yami sure likes to poke Bakura*

Yami: Bakura! *Poke*

Bakura: Argh! Didn't I tell you to quit doing that?

Yami: You won't answer me.

Bakura: Well maybe I don't want to.

Yami: Oh not this again.

Bakura: Yes, this again!
Sasha: Oh shut up you two!

~><~

*Remember, breathe in, then out!*

Yami: Bakura, calm down! There's no need for this. I'm sure we can calmly discuss-

Bakura: Is that your solution to everything?

Yami: Eh-well yes, actually it is.

Bakura: It sucks!

Yami: It works most of the time…*pout*

Bakura: …I don't know what part of that to tackle first…

~><~

*I can see you!*

Yami: Oh Ra…it was you in those visions…

Bakura: Wow, you're such a genius!

Yami: Oh shut up! Sasha wouldn't let me figure this out before you know.

Bakura: YOU made him into such an idiot?
Sasha: Well no…just played up his whole `self righteous I can solve anything' attitude in the show.

Yami: I'm not like that!
Bakura/Sasha: *give him knowing looks*

Yami: ……………oh shut up.

~><~

*All together now … Awww~!*

Bakura: I forgive you, love…

Crowd of Yaoi fan-girls: AWWWWW!~ *glomp Yami and Bakura*
Bakura/Yami: o_O;;

Sasha: Out! All of you! Out! This is a really closed set! Out the lot of you! *Shoos the fan-girls away* Cripes, how do they keep getting in here?

Yami: It's one of those mysteries of the universe…

Bakura: Well make sure someone finds it out soon!

~ Chapter 6 ~

*Is Bakura a softie?*

Bakura: (voice over) …a tremendous weight was lifted off of my shoulders…and my heart.

Yami: Oh that was so lame!

Bakura: Will you shut up? This is about as mushy as I can get!

Yami: It's pretty bad.

Sasha: Oh shut up…I think it's cute.

Bakura: See! Argh, but not `cute'. I hate that word.

Yami: (ALA Romeo and Juliet) Cute? I hate that word, as I hate all Montegues and thee!

Sasha/Bakura: Uh…right…

~><~

*Toss the cards in the hat is fun*

Bakura: Don't even say a damned word. I'm amused here.

Yami: Wow, sure doesn't take much to keep you occupied, does it?

Bakura: *smirks* I suppose not, since you're mine.
Yami: Hey! I hope you realise that you also insult yourself by saying that.

Bakura: I do not …

~><~

*Can't resist urge … to insult…Yami*

Yami: *frowns* Even now you can't resist to insult me?

Bakura: But it's so EASY! You just walk into everything!
Sasha: Hate to say it but he's right, Yami.

Yami: Why are you against me?
Sasha: I'm not. I think you're a cutie. Just on the show you can be a little ditzy, that's all.

Yami: *glares*

Sasha: Hehe … *Hugs* You know I love you!

Yami: Eh-yeah, yeah …

~><~

*Evil spirit and pillow to all is Bakura*

Bakura: *pokes Yami's nose* I do not appreciate being your pillow, Yami.

Yami: You're bony, I don't know why I'm using you as a pillow!

Bakura: You're one to talk! Have you seen the size of your waist and legs?

Yami: Eh-oh shut up.

Bakura: Haha!

Yami: …just shut up…

~><~

*Let's slam the door all dramatic like!*

Yami: What should we do?

Bakura: We're standing here at a door. We want out. We're going to RAM it!

Sasha: Stick to your lines, Bakura.

Bakura: But I like being this blunt.

Sasha: Oi…yeah…right…forgot about that…

Bakura: You call yourself a Yu-Gi-Oh writer?

Sasha: Well no not really…considering this is my first YGO fic and I had no idea what I was doing throughout most of it.

Bakura: Oh … well then…

~><~

*Let's tease Bakura some more!*

Ryou: I think I would've been more worried if you had turned into a gushy mess.

Bakura: I'm not that pathetic.

Sasha: You could be!

Bakura: Oh please, let me be happy!

Sasha: Hehe okay…well sorry the ending was so lame, but please review and please, if you have any info on Yami Malik, please review or email me! Peace out and thanks a lot!