Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Your Heart in my Hands ❯ your heart in my hands ( Chapter 1 )

AN: This is the first fic I've written for myself alone. After one hell of a day I felt compelled to write this, also I want to say this disease is real, these facts are real, and this fear is real. I live with it and after a day like today I felt the need to write this if for nothing else than to make myself feel better. I'm sorry if you don't like it and it's not that I don't care if you do or don't but I wanted it to help me feel better and maybe it will help some others out. Anyway please read and enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh in any way shape or form.

"Your Heart in My Hands"

Honda staggered into the classroom with a hand-held orange juice giving his friends a thumbs up as he took his seat. He and Jounouchi now sported matching band-aids and stickers saying "Be nice, I gave blood." The whole school was a buzz with students going in and out of class as the blood drive continued through-out the day. Yugi, Jounouchi, and Honda had all already given blood. Bakura, even after all he'd seen his Yami do, was scared of needles and wouldn't go for it.

They found it very odd when their friend Anzu earlier that morning refused to even mention the blood drive and took off before they could question her. She'd seemed nervous and sad about almost as soon as she heard about the drive but they didn't know why. Just months ago she was excited about the drive and how it would be her fifth time giving blood. But today anytime they had time between classes she would disappear before they could talk to her or outright ignore them. Something was definitely up. Jounouchi stuck to his theory of her time of the month but they were pretty sure it was something more.

They all looked up at the clock to see they had three minutes before lunch. They planned on talking to her and seeing what was up. The bell rang and to their surprise Anzu didn't try to disappear. The four of them got up and walked over to her desk to try and talk to her.

"Hey Anzu, how are you doing today? You've been kind of quiet," started Yugi hoping she wouldn't ignore them again. They felt relieved when she smiled.

"Not so bad, but I'm so tired, I stayed up late last night stuck on math homework. I really wish I had one of those energy drinks, but I don't have any money."

"You could always get some from the blood drive. You get all the cookies and juice you want," said Jounouchi, with a bit too much enthusiasm for the rest as they wondered if the orange juice he had was the last of it. And as the blood drive was brought up once again Anzu became quiet.

"Anzu? What's wrong," asked Yugi mentally berating Jounouchi for bringing up the touchy subject. She quickly finished her sandwich and got up in a hurry.

"Ja," was all she said before quickly leaving the classroom.

"Jounouchi," yelled Honda punching his friend in the back. "You idiot, the blood drives been a touchy subject for her all week and when she finally talks to us today you bring it up."

"Hey be nice, I gave blood," he said quoting his sticker. Honda sweat-dropped.

"So did I you dolt. But you're still the idiot who brought up the subject."

"We should probably go find her and apologize," said Yugi but noticed something missing. "Hey where'd Ryou go," he asked looking around the classroom.

He huffed as he stopped at the stairwell catching his breath. He'd gone after Anzu as soon as she left, ignoring Jounouchi and Honda's childish fighting. 'Can't they see there something more important going on?' He was actually a bit happy earlier that week when he found out Anzu hadn't signed up and looked like she wasn't going to. He felt stupid when he was the only one of his friends who was too afraid to go through with it, and maybe he'd get to spend a bit more time with the girl he was infatuated with. But there was something more than fear plaguing Anzu and he was going to find out what. He turned his head as he heard the door to the roof, about two stories above him, close.

He made his way to the roof at his own pace and opened the door and felt a blush come across his face. She was lying on her back on the roof, her eyes closed, and her hair splayed around her soft face. Her uniform was disheveled and messy. She looked like a fallen angel. 'Come on, you've liked her for a while now; you can put that aside for now. She needs to talk to someone.' He slowly made his way over to her and felt his heart jump in his throat as her bright blue eyes opened, and turned to him as she sat up, a confused look coming across her face. 'She's so beautiful.' He pushed those thoughts aside and fought against the warmth trying to make it's way to his face as he closed the distance between them and sat down next to her.

"Ryou-kun, what are you doing here," she said her voice quivering. 'Why is he here? I came to get away, if he doesn't leave soon, I don't know how long I can hold this back,' thought Anzu frantically as she stared at the white-haired young man.

"I can't believe Jounouchi was so rude, and while everyone was fighting I thought you needed someone to talk to. If you don't want to talk about it with me, I understand. It's just you've seemed so not like yourself all week and I was wondering what could make you so upset. Anzu!" He felt his heart ache as he saw tears collecting in her eyes, not quite falling yet. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

"Ryou!" She buried her face in his chest and began to cry. She sobbed into his uniform; he could feel her damp tears soaking through the shirt but didn't care. He didn't know if what he was doing was right, but he put his arms around her holding her close, rubbing her back and whispering reassurances. They stayed like that even after the lunch bell had finally rung. It seemed like forever, but neither noticed, it seemed like only a few minutes to both before Anzu slowly pulled away much to both their displeasures. She wiped a few stray tears from her eyes as she leaned on his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to keep you up here this long. I wasn't expecting anyone to follow me or find me. I just needed to get that out," she said the last of her sniffles subsiding.

"I don't mind at all. You're more important than class." He put his arm loosely around her shoulders and felt the heat rise to his cheeks again but thankfully with her head on his shoulder she couldn't see.

"Can I tell you something and not have it get back to the others," she asked quietly.

"A secret," he asked a bit amazed she would confide in him something she wouldn't share with her friends. "Are you sure you want to tell me?" She silently nodded.

"I'm mad at myself, that's why I've been this way all week."

"Mad, why," he asked confusion in his voice.

"For being so weak," she said spitefully.

"Anzu, you're not weak. You're one of the strongest people I know and-"

"No," she cut him off. "Not like that…physically weak."

"Anzu? I don't understand…" He felt the pressure lift from his shoulder and his arm dropped from her small frame as she sat up hugging her knees and looking out into the sky beyond the fence.

"Do you remember three months ago when you all invited me over to Yugi's but I said I forgot I had to baby-sit?"

"Yeah it took us by surprise, after meeting Honda's baby cousin Yugi told me about they were sure you'd never go for something like that."
"I didn't," she said softly, her voice almost breaking. There was a long silence as they stared out into the blue sky and a cloud covered the sun if only for a second. "I went to the hospital, I didn't want you to know."

"Hospital? Anzu, what-"

"I was having chest pains," she choked out. She continued even though her voice was shaky. "My parents were gone for two months, I have no relatives in Japan, and I didn't want to worry any of you in case it was nothing. I went and stayed over night, I was afraid I was having a heart attack." She stopped to choke back the sobs that threatened. "That's when I found out, I had a heart condition."

"C-condition?" He saw her eyes tearing up again and her frame start to quiver. He pulled her into an embrace as she stifled the sobs and tears that threatened to spill. "Anzu," he began quietly. "Please, what is it," he asked in a pleading voice.

"Mitro-valve regurgitation," she said and actually chuckled when the poor boy looked dumb founded. "The blood in my heart backs up and it hurts a lot. It's something people are born with and it's one of those stupid diseases when you can live your whole life without it occurring or live with it since infancy. It comes and goes when it wants. It can happen while I'm sleeping in the middle of the night or when I'm in gym chances are the same. The attacks can be mild and go away in ten minutes or so or I may be in the hospital for days."

"Can't they do anything," Ryou all but yelled as he felt like his whole world was crashing down. All those months she was smiling and laughing and bearing all of this on her own. 'Anzu, why couldn't you tell us, tell me.' He felt his own tears threatening to spill.

"There's nothing to do. Unless it gets to a critical stage they can't do a thing. And when it reaches that point there's only one thing to do for it, surgery. That's why I can't donate," she said sadly. "I used to love being able to help others, but now my bloods no good, my body is no good, I'm no good. Now every time I even go to do something simple like go to the dentist I have to take a handful of antibiotics because I get infections and diseases easier. I wish I could go back a few months, ignorance is bliss," she began sobbing into his chest again.

"Anzu," he held her tightly to him. He put his head on her own as they heard the bell ring again signaling class change again. "Why couldn't you tell me," he asked. 'Him,' Anzu thought confused. 'Doesn't he mean them?' "Why did you have to pretend to be so happy when you weren't? That one time we all went to the movies just a few weeks ago and you had to go to the bathroom, you looked scared, it happened didn't it?"

She felt herself stiffen as she listened. 'How did he notice? I was sure I was smiling.' "Even when you smile," he began. "Your eyes give you away." Anzu felt her face begin to blaze. 'How could he notice something like that? About me?' "That's why I came after you today, you looked so sad, so scared when you left."

"I am afraid. Every time it happens even if it's not for very long, it hurts so much. I'm afraid one day, it'll just stop," she said choking back a sob. "I wish I weren't so weak, I'm afraid of my own body, worried it will let me down, without any warning."

She felt his arms pull her back from his soaking chest and looked her strait in the eye. His hand went to her face and brushed away a few stray tears. "Ryou-kun," she asked feeling the blush spread to the rest of her face before noticing a matching pink tinge on his own.

"I won't," he said softly, almost a whisper.

"What," she asked not really understanding what he said. She felt her heart quicken as he placed his hand on her chest, just over her heart. "I won't give up on you, Anzu. You're body might not be 100%, but almost no one's is. But I won't stop looking out for you." He took a deep breath. 'It's now or never,' he thought. "I've been looking out for you for as long as I can remember. I was so scared when I thought my Yami might hurt you, I was afraid, but I also wanted to be there for you. I couldn't leave you alone, and I'm not going to start."

"Ryou-kun," she whispered feeling her heart beat a bit faster with his hand over it.

"I-I love you Anzu," he finally let out. "Even if you may not like me, it doesn't mean I'm not going to look out for you. As long as I'm here, I'll make sure your body never gives out on you. As long as I'm here, I'll make sure your heart keeps beating." 'That has got to be so corny, she probably doesn't even think I'm serious,' he thought gloomily. 'She probably doesn't like me that way either. But even if she doesn't, I'm not giving up on-' His thoughts were cut short as he felt her lips on his and closed his eyes.

Her soft lips caressed his own, soft as velvet as his own lips took the initiative and rubbed against the velvety touch. Her lips were sweet with the raspberry lips gloss she was wearing but below that was her own unique taste and he could very well get used to that taste. But as soon as it has started it seemed to end as he opened his eyes once again to peer down at the crimson face of Anzu, he was pretty sure his face was a shade darker.

"Did you really mean all of that," she asked breathlessly.

"Yes," he said with compassion in his voice. Tears once again filled her eyes, but unlike before a smile accompanied them. Her lips once again found his as the bell signaling the end of the school day rang. But the tones fell on deaf ears to the two on the roof, as they found new life in their fragile hearts.

AN: Sorry if I was a bit forward above, but I hope that you enjoyed this in one way or another. Thank you for taking the time to read this, I appreciate it.