Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Yugioh Dating Game ❯ Ph34r the Cupid of DOOM. ( Chapter 5 )

THE YUGIOH! DATING GAME

By Bilbo-sama and Cap'n Spiffy

Disclaimer: We don't own Yugioh or Bill Clinton or anything that is copyrighted.

*******

*On Stage*

Random Producer: Okay..who ish a baka?

Bilbo-sama + LL123: *raise hands*

LL123: Why are you a baka?

Bilbo-sama: I trusted you with writing the chapter..the one you deleted...

LL123: -_______-;

Hammie: *somewhere in space* I KNEW IT!

Lonu: Oh yeah, Hammie is in some Intergalactic Hamster Race thing and WHY WAS I NOT INVITED?!

Bilbo-sama: do we have to go through the soul stealing discussion thing again?

Lonu: Ooooh. that!

Everyone: -_____-;

Random Producer: Because you both are such bakas your fans are coming after you.

Both: meeeeeeeep..

Lonu: Can I steal their souls now?

Bilbo-sama: NOOOO! WE NEED THE REVIEWS TO POWER US! *pauses* Did I just say that out loud?

Yana : you do realize that you spilled one of our secrets don't you?

LL123: SSSSH! maybe..if we stare at them for a really long time.. they will forget

*muses + authors stare at fans*.

Audience: *squirms uncomfortably*

Random fans: Uuuh...what were we doing..?

Bilbo-sama: ...sleeping?

fans: *ooohs..ahhhs *

LL123: I have an idea! Nina, smoke?

Nina: sure! *whips out smoke-maker-thingie*

Bilbo-sama: 8:48 ..LL123 has an idea..remarkable day..

*Evil Pirate laughter heard*

Voice: PH34R ME! ALL WHO SEE ME SHALL TREMEBLE! BWHAHAHAH!!

Lonu: No making smoke! *blasts smoke maker off to space*

*Smoke disappears, showing LL123 in pirate grub*

Bilbo-sama: LL123! What did I tell you about drinking the cleaning products..

LL123: They are for cleaning not drinking..

Bilbo-sama: Right! Good Legolas! *gives ll123 a cookie*

LL123: I SHALL NO LONGER BE CALLED LL123! I AM. CAP'N SPIFFY!

Everyone: o_____O;;;

Bilbo-sama: Erm...k?

Cap'n Spiffy: Arggh.. ye has entered the dating place.

Bob: The lucky girl tonight ish Hyper Akani

Lonu: *sounding bored* and her future dates are: Seto Kaiba, Bandit Keith, and Tristan Taylor

Tristan: I prefer to be called Honda-sama...

Lonu: Well I prefer to be having a nice soul sandwich...but you don't see ME COMPLANING!

Yana : With pickle!

Lonu: Mmm...pickle...

Seto: I don't like how the girls in the audience are staring at me...

Hyper: You don't like how ANY girl stares at you.paranoid baka..

Bilbo-sama: strange, I thought we used the anti-fan girl spray...

Cap'n Spiffy: Nahh..they use anti-anti-fan-girl spray..

Lonu: Can I steal their souls now?

Fan girls: MEEP! *runs off screaming*

Cap'n Spiffy: o____O;; 'kay..?

Yana : I believe that fan girls fear hamsters.

Cap'n Spiffy: I thought they loved fuzzy creatures mate?

Nina: No... those are only the Yugi fan girls..

Yugi fan girl: HAMSTER! *hugs Lonu*

Lonu: @_@ Can't breathe...can't use...soul stealing...powers...

Hyper: CAN WE PLEASE GET MOVING ALONG TO THE PART WHERE I GET SETO AS A DATE??!?!

Everyone: O_o;;

Hyper: Erm..i mean.LOOK A BEE!

Bilbo-sama: WHERE?!? *Runs off looking for bees*

Lonu: Your dreams are starting to scare me now.

Bilbo-sama: *far away*Ohhh.. Go have a fan-girl love you!

Bee: *to Bilbo-sama* Greetings Master. What orders do you have for me today?

Bilbo-sama: Hmmm....*grins evilly*

Yana : I pity the poor person who gets stung...

Hyper: Erm...hello? What about us here?

Cap'n Spiffy: Wah wah.. YER needs!

Bilbo-sama: Oh yeah! *to Bee* *gives it a picture of someone* GET HIM! *laughs evilly*

Bee: O_o; Yes master. *buzzes off outside and screams are heard outside*

Cap'n Spiffy: That sounded like former president Bill Clinton...

Bilbo-sama: *looks at pic* It IS former president Bill Clinton...wrong pic! Anyway, questions!

Hyper: *reads card* =O_o=

Bilbo-sama: Nani? *reads card* O_O;

Hyper: Who wrote this one?

Bob: It...wasn't...me... *winks at Lonu*

Lonu: sly...really sly...

Hyper: *points to Bob* GET HIM!

*No one moves*

Cap'n Spiffy: Lass, jest read the question!

Hyper: If you can choose someone to *bleep* with, who would it be?

Bachelors: O_________O;;;

Seto: O_O;

Tristan: *mumbles something that sounds like Miho-chan*

Seto: well..there was the girl at the supermarket that was kinda cute..

Hyper: NANI!?!?!?!?

Hyper: YOU'RE CHEATING ON ME>?!?! I-I-I'm gonna... *runs away crying*

Seto: O_o;;

Tristan: That is one of those things you shouldn't say. Especially when Miho here can pummel me into a pulp!

Miho: That's right, slave!

Tristan: Damn female mood swings.

*Anoka, Nichole, and Mali appear* [if you have no idea who they are go read TIRFOD or Mokuba's Crazy Yami]

Girls: YOU BREAK HYPER'S HEART...WE BREAK YOUR NECK!

Tristan: Eeep!

Bilbo-sama: should we stop them?

Yami: *cowering* That would be a bad idea

Cap'n spiffy: ;________; poor lass..

Anoka : Girls? ATTACK!

*Girls fighting Seto*

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Anoka : I feel much better now..

Nichole + Mali : Me too! ^_^:

Seto: Ite. @_@;;

Anoka: *Turns to Yami* now, come home! We're going to play a little game...

Yami: Does it involve whips?

Anoka: o_O; no.

Yami: YAY!

Anoka: We're going to play the 'see if the kids can talk yet' game

Yami: How do you play it?

Anoka: -____-; *drags Yami home*

Cap'n Spiffy: Ermm...okay? Movin' on, 'ere's the real question *hands Hyper a card*

Hyper: If I was in danger what would you do? A- Go have sex with some random girl at the supermarket.

B- Myeh...I'm FIX IT MAN. I can do anything..

C- *insert witty comment here*

D- Save..you?

E- Pssh..my motorcycle is calling me! I have no time for you..

Bachelor One (AKA Tristan): Er. This ish a hard one! *starches noodle* I'd have to go with.. B! Protector of truth...Protector of pretty innocents...protector of the universe....I AM FIX IT MAN! *thunder rumbling*

Miho: -__-; You overdid it again

Hyper: o_O; Bachelor Two same question.

Bachelor Two (AKA Bandit Keith): AYE! MOTOCYCLE-CHAN!

Bilbo-sama: -_____-;;; how did I know he would say that..?

Cap'n Spiffy: Aye. Maybe it's that ye put it on there!

Bilbo-sama: Ohh yeah!

Cap'n Spiffy: -_-;

Hyper: Same question person I-don't-know-because-he-likes-to-have-sex-with- random-girls!

Seto: o_O; I'd have to go with.. A. *sees Nichole + Mali backstage making a Seto voodoo doll* aaaaaaaaye..I'll go with.D!

Hyper: ^____^;;

Bilbo-sama: One question down! Three more to go! To keep you in suspense. We'll go to commercial..

Cap'n Spiffy: Aye!

***

Random Voice: Do you like cheese?

Tea: YEAH! CHEESE ROCKS! ^_____^:;

Random Voice: Are you currently on a mission to eat every single kind of cheese known to man?

Tea: Yeah!

Random Voice: Then buy the Cheese Radar! It senses the closest cheese near you!

Tea: And then?

Random Voice: NO and then..

Tea: And then?

Random Voice: NO and then..

Tea: And then?

Random Voice: NO and then..

Tea: And then?

Random Voice: NO and then.. and if you say that one more time I'm going to kick you to Mars!

*Silence*

Tea: And then!! And then!! And then!! And then!! And then!! And then!! And then!! And then!! And then!! And then!! And then!! And then!! And then!! And then!! And then!! And then!! And then!! And then!! And then!! And then!! And then!! And then!! And then!! And then!! And then!! And then!! And then!! And then!! And then!! And then!! And then!! And then!! And then!! And then!! And then!! And then!! And then!! And then!! And then!! And then!! And then!! And then!! And then!! And then!! And then!! And then!! And then!! And then!! And then!! And then!! And then!! And then!! And then!!

Random Voice: *Kicks Tea to Mars* Bwhaha...

Tea: WWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

***

Cap'n Spiffy: Ye know this is really random, but I hate Valentine's Day.

Bilbo-sama: WHYYYYY!?!? ZEEEE LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEE! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Cap'n spiffy: -___-;;; I blame ze hallmark..

Everyone: *face fault*

Hyper: I feel Cupid-ish...

Mali *in the audience*: I believe it's your Millennium Item activating.

Hyper: The Millennium Engagement Ring?

Producer: HOLD IT! It says here if the Bachelor or Bachelorette has the power of love, he or she cannot use them to win the game.

Hyper: Can I use it on the audience?

Producer: Fire away. *walks off*

Hyper: *sees a couple arguing*

*couple gets zapped*

Man: *blinks* What were we arguing about again?

Woman: KISS ME YOU FOOL! *pounces*

Man: Ite...(ow...)

Cap'n Spiffy: NEXT QUESTION!

Hyper: *reads it out loud* Why did the chicken cross the road?

Seto: To duel!

Keith: To pick up some hot roosters!

All: O_o;

Keith: What?! That's the only thing I can think of!

Tristan: To...not get eaten by carnivores?

Cap'n Spiffy: ALL HAIL VEGITARIANS!

Hyper: Dueling ish fun...

Seto: Isn't it so?

Both: ^_^

Mokuba: AHA! You do care for each other! *turns to a random girl* Pay up, Nabiki.

Nabiki: -_- *pays him 1200 yen*

Ranma: Nabiki lost a bet?!

Akane: IT'S A SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE! *rushes off screaming*

Ranma: That's rather not like her...*clears throat* KAWAIIKUNE! (uncute; or in the manga, sexless tomboy)

Akane: *appears out of nowhere* WHAT DID YOU SAY?!

*zap*

Ranma: Erm, I love you?

Akane: I didn't know you cared! ^_^ *glomps him*

Genma *sitting two rows behind them*: Ah, Tendo, I believe the wedding will happen after all and both families will become one!

Soun: *cry #560: The wedding will happen after all and both families will become one*

Genma: GET AHOLD OF YOURSELF MAN!

Nina: *blinks* Erm, k?

Bilbo-sama: It seems that characters from a random anime appear when I'M here.

Yana: You just noticed that?

Bilbo-sama:...yes.

Cap'n Spiffy: I didn't notice! Next question!

Hyper: *after zapping another couple* *reads* What is your favorite band? Gee, someone's needs a new job after this...

Cue Card Boy: *nods*

Seto: Gackt...and other Jrock peeps...*starts humming `Another World'*

Bilbo-sama: They scare me. *hides*

Keith: JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE! ^_^

Bilbo-sama: Evil!

Cap'n Spiffy: *hisses* IT BURNSES!

Keith: I mean...Stevie Brock

All: Who?

Keith:...

Tristan: AFI!

Hyper: EEEEEEEE! TRISTAN, I LOVE YOU! *glomps him*

Miho: Grrrrr...

Seto: *gets a random flashback of Ancient Egypt* *blinks* HEY! THAT'S MY GIRL! *beats up Tristan*

Hyper: Gasp-ness! MY HERO! *glomps*

Tristan: *is somehow not that hurt* Ha! The power of *spazzes* FIX IT MAN *stops* has help me!

Miho: ^________^

Bilbo-sama: Well. We WERE going to start a game but this question filled it in. -___-

Bob: And that would be?

Bilbo-sama: Wrestling match.

Producer: We ran out of time 40 minutes ago. THE *BLEEP* CAMERAS ARE STILL ROLLING!

Bilbo-sama: And your point is?

Producer: *sighs* I'll be in my trailer...*rushes off*

Cap'n Spffy: Stupid randomness!

Bilbo-sama: But we need the randomness! Without it, we wouldn't be here with Hyper!

*Hypnotoad appears*

Bilbo-sama and Cap'n Spiffy: @_@ Yesh master...we will end the chapter...

Hammie: *appears from a blue beam holding a giant trophy* I'M BAAA-AAACK! *no one notices* I SAID I'M BAAA-AAACK!

Bilbo-sama: Huh? Oh hi Hammie. How was Planet X and the Intergalactic Hamster Race?

Hammie: *lifts up the huge trophy* PH34R!

All: OoOoO!

Hypnotoad: *clears throat*

All: @_@ Yesh...master...

Bilbo-sama: @_@ Next will be the date. Who will win Hyper's heart? *glares at some random Heartless* And I'm sure it won't be them.

Heartless: *sulks*

*******

And now a random message from the Authors:

Bilbo-sama: Hello, I'm Bilbo-sama.

Cap'n Spiffy: *continues watching Johnny Depp Movie* oooh! Obscene-ness! @________@;;

Nina: *pokes* SPEAK TO ZE PEOPLE!

Bilbo-sama: And she's Cap'n Spiffy. -__-; And she will speak first. PH34R!

Cap'n Spiffy: oh...the people...uh...sorry for the random chapter. Bilbo-sama got random. -_-; Thus the long chapter.

Bilbo-sama: HEY! You contributed to ze insanity too!

Cap'n Spiffy: Anyway...updates might be sooner than you expect. Maybe or maybe not. We would have updated sooner but i've had some private family problems, which I don't want to speak of (and if you try to make me speak of them, Hiei will take care of it)...so I don't know when bilbo-sama or myself will update.

Nina: And school...don't forget about school...

Bilbo-sama: -__-; Yes that too. For some reason we have to do the Terra Nova test next week. Everyone is going to be taking tests except most of the seniors who will be in the gym having the senior Olympics. And my English teacher is going to give us ANOTHER evil project of DOOM next month. *falls over*

Hammie: So see us next time with Hyper as she chooses her guy. If you read Bilbo-sama's fics then you would probably see it coming. Plus, random characters from a future season to come will pop up in order to try to ruin the date.

Amelda: If Hyper chooses Seto...grrrr...he's mine dammit!

Hammie: O_o; Aren't you a guy?

Amelda: I am? *blinks and walks off to somewhere*