Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction / Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction / Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ Screwed: Anime Style ❯ Uh oh! ( Chapter 1 )

A/N: Hey! I just felt like I should state this. I own none of the characters in this story, I don't even own they're personalities because this is based on the movie "Screwed." I just want ya to read the story, love the story and watch the movie! Now is that so hard?! The story begins around christmas time. ^.^ Even though the title may sound like a hentai, this is no hentai in this story. The rating is just to be safe. Oh yea, I'll have random characters and people pop into this story! Try to catch them!

~!~

Shigure was standing on a stool putting up the last ornament on the Christmas tree, the angel. He jumped off to take a good long look at the tree and admired his handy work. He let out a relieved sigh and was about to sit down in a chair when he heard it. It was a yell from his boss's raspy and old voice.

"Shigure! Shigure!" The voice said.

He made a little jump of surprise at the yell and quickly ran with all his might up the long stairs and into the room of where the voice was coming from. All this time the voice kept yelling. He burst through the door and there stood the old and wrinkling Genkai in nothing but her bra and underwear [1].

"Where the hell is my blue hat, Shigure?!" She yelled at him taking his attention off of her body.

"Uh, I don't know Genkai-san."

"Do you expect me to go to my meeting dressed like this," She pointed her exposed body. Shigure looked her up and down and grimaced.

"Ah, of course not Genkai-san, I'll go find your hat." He quickly walked into her walk-in closet avoiding her half naked wrinkly body. He looked around at all of her expensive clothes in awe. Just when he began to walk around Genkai yelled at him again:

"I'm cold! Are you taking a break in there, you lazy ass!"

Shigure frowned, he wanted so badly to yell back at her, "Well if you put some clothes on you wouldn't be so damn cold." But he shook his head and told himself, "This is a good job, a good job." A little growl was heard in the closet and Shigure looked down.

"Ah ha! I should have known it was you!" He narrowed his eyes at the dog with a blue hat in it's mouth. He jerked the hat free from the dog's mouth and patted it dry. His hand flew over a price tag that was still on it.

"345,000 yen?!" His eyes bulged, he was completely baffled and angry. He turned around and walked out of the door, keeping his anger in check.

"Genkai-san," he said as he exited the closet. "I noticed that you have such fine clothing and I began to think that maybe this is a good time to buy me a new uniform."

"You look fine Shigure," she snatched the hat from his hands. "You can leave now."

"But, my uniform, it's disintegrating, the buttons are barely hanging on."

"Gah, Shigure that's a perfectly good suit. Your father worked for me for 30 years and wore that suit everyday and never complained!

"Oh yeah, well he died and at his funeral you MADE the undertaker give it back to you so you could just stick me in it for another 15 years."

"Just what are you implying?" She said in a dangerous tone.

"Genkai-san, it's Christmas time, I'm only asking for a new uniform."

"Only a new uniform? And then pretty soon it'll be 'only a new broom'? And then pretty soon I'll 'only be bankrupt'?!"

Shigure rolled his eyes as she continued.

"Now get out of my sight before I kick you in the *ass*" She gave him a twisted, evil smile.

~!~

Normal working hours was now up and Shigure had on his warmest jacket he could find when he exited Genkai's mansion. He was tired to the bone and really all he wanted was to sleep in his makeshift covers he called a bed located behind the laundry room. But he promised Ayame he'd come to his Christmas party at his store. The little clothing store was filled with all kinds of people all talking, eating, dancing or kissing. Shigure heaved a sigh as he manage to get past the herd of people, towards the counter were Ayame was chatting with Mine.

"Hey Shigure, what took you so long?" Ayame called out to him in his usual happy manner.

"The old hag had me clean her chimney." He replied sleepy.

"Ha! Does she actually think Santa is going to pay her a visit?" Ayame asked mockingly.

Shigure stopped at the counter top and smiled meekly at the man before him.

"Let me go get you a drink," Ayame hurried over to the table next to the counter and poured Shigure some sake. "Now be careful it's a little strong." He stated, handing over the cup to Shigure, only to see him pour some liquor into the sake.

Ayame sighed, "Shigure you have to stop working for that ball buster! Show her who'se boss! Take a crap in her soup!"

Shigure gave Ayame frown, "Thanks, great advice." He said sarcastically and took a long drink, "You know how it is nowadays. When a man gets a job he keeps it."

"In your case, until he dies of old age!" Ayame countered hotly.

Shigure went limp, "Just like my father. You know what he said to me on his death bed, 'Stick with Genkai-san, you'll get ahead.' I don't know what he was talking about."

"Poor Shigure." Ayame thought.

~!~

It was a beautiful Christmas Eve morning. The Christmas tree seemed to have a new shine to it with Genkai and Yusuke exchanging gifts by it.

"Oh Yusuke! It's lovely." Genkai exclaimed holding up a flowing purple dress, she quickly dismissed it and the box. Tossing it to the ground as if it was trash. "Now open yours!"

Yusuke grinned as he opened the tiny rectangle box and peered into. "Oh Genkai, what a sweet gift!" He said looking down at a stack of yen.

"Well, I know how much you love money. It's (50,000 dollars in usa) yen.

Shigure watched the two kiss one another's ass as if there was no tomorrow [2], completely disgusted at the sight before him. He shook his head, "Why is she able to throw money at Yusuke but not at me?" He thought sourly. Genkai obviously noticed that Shigure was doing absolutely nothing, for she began to nag at him.

"What are you just standing around for? Look at this mess!" She pointed to the discarded wrapping paper and boxes. Shigure obediently followed her orders and picked up the trash.

"Will that be all Genkai-san?" He asked hoping without a doubt to leave the room.

"No that will not be all." Her voice softening at him and she winked at Yusuke, whom just nodded at her. She picked up the present next to her and made her way to Shigure.

"This is for you Shigure." She smiles sweetly at him.

"Genkai-san I wasn't suspecting this at all!" He was shocked at her kindness.

"Well, I thought of something that I know that you'll love!"

He looked down at his disintegrating suit and then to the present in his hands.

"You are a good woman!" He said with true feelings in those words.

"Open it, Open it!" She encouraged.

"Hey, what's this?" He looked dumbfoundly at the rice ball that was in box.

"It's you're favorite rice ball."

"Where the hell is my suit?!" He yelled.

"Goodness, I thought you'd like it."

"Like it?!"

"Yes, and I even put a pair of cufflinks too."

"Oh you went all out didn't you?," he tosses the box that held his so called present. "A pair of crappy cufflinks and one shitty rice ball!"

Genkai gasps at his sudden outburst.

~!~

Shigure's muscles were aching from the strain of sitting in the dog house. He just got into the most comfortable position able in the tiny dog house when he heard the crunching of shoe against snow. The foot steps stopped next to the dog house and he was greeted with Ayame's confused face.

"What are you doing in there, you're going to miss Hatori's Christmas party."

"Well, Genkai-san said I had to spend the night in this shit box because of my outburst."

"Damn." Ayame winced.

Shigure became annoyed at the pity shown clearly on Ayame's face and he huffed. "Leave me alone!" He yelled.

"Heh, fine."

Shigure blew out some air from his mouth, watching it turn into a steam puff. He was deep in thought. "Maybe if I apologize to her, she'll forgive me." He knew she probably wouldn't but it was a better idea than staying in hell hole.

He crawled out of the dog house and stretched his muscles. Let off a relied sigh and walked off. He quickly notice the window shining out light, Genkai and Yusuke could be seen eating. He walked closer, trying not to be noticed to listen in on their conversation.

"I can't believe I've tolerated him for as along as I have!" Shigure heard Genkai say.

"He was just using you." Shigure heard Yusuke reply.

"Excatly! Enough is enough. Tomorrow I'll fire him, throw his stuff in the furnace."

Shigure head was spinning around, he couldn't listen anymore. He felt the blood from his face drain and he did the first thing that came to mind. He ran out off of the mansion and screamed.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!"

~!~

Ayame was peacefully relaxing after Hatori's boring party. If he was going to throw a party at least make it good, like invite some strippers, serve saki, have music playing that you could actually dance too. Hatori has gotten so dull. He was just about to lock up his shop when Shigure burst through the door like an evil madman.

"You're not going to believe this, the old bitch is going to fire me."

"That's just ludicrous! Why would anyone want to fire their slave?

"Because she's heartless, she picked Christmas Day to fire me!"

"Damn! Shigure, you need revenge!"

Shigure frowned at Ayame, already his mood beginning to lighten being with his carefree friend. Ayame was taking the idea of getting revenge at Genkai into deep consideration.

"Nah, that's crazy talk." Shigure dissmissed Ayame's thought

"No it isn't! We'll grab granny and hold her ass for ransom!"

"Ayame what are you talking about? We're not criminals. You make dresses and I drive a car."

"And when the money comes in I'll go crazy!" Ayame continued, ignoring Shigure.

"Hey, shut up, ok. We know nothing about kidnapping an old lady!"

The two men fell silent until Shigure was hit by an idea, "Hey, what about her dog?"

"You mean Biscuit?"

"No, Muffin! Yeah, she loves him more than anything! I bet she'll pay plenty for that dog!"

"I bet she'll pay 120,000,000 yen."

The smiled wickedly at one another, forming the perfect plan for quick revenge and quick money.

~!~

A beat up truck parks into Genkai's mansion, two men dressed in black get out of the car with little stealth. The long haired man carried a bag while the short hair man carried a box. They walk cautiously to the front door, using the keys Shigure had to slip into the house with little effort. They tip-toed up the stairs to the hall way were Genkai's room was on.

"Now we have to be quite, Genkai-san is a light sleeper." Shigure whispered.

"You don't have to worry about me." Ayame whispered back, pulling out a hair spray can from his bag. He proceeded to spray the area of the hall way with it.

"What the hell are you doing?" Shigure asked in disbelief.

"I was checking for electric eyes."

"There's no electric eyes!"

"How would you know,. they're invisible?"

Shigure gave him an a funny face, "I've lived here most of my life, trust me there is no electric eyes!" He walked slowly to Genkai's door with Ayame behind him. He slowly opened the door with trembling hands.

"So this is were the old bitch sleeps!" Ayame declared louder than a whisper causing Shigure to nearly jump out of his skin.

"Shut up!" Shigure whispered fiercely.

They walked more into the bedroom, the bed were Genkai and her dog Muffin laid was smack in the middle of the room. Muffin slept peacefully next to it's master.

"Ok give me the weeny." Shigure wiggled his right hand at Ayame, who nodded and dug around in the black bag slouched across his shoulder blade. Ayame handed over the hot dog tied up to a thin white cord. Once he handed it over he processed to lick his fingers hungrily, stopping when he noticed Shigure giving him a look that practically said 'What the hell are you doing?', and took the box from Shigure's hands. Shigure cracked a little nervous grin and turned his body to the bed.

"Hey Muffin, here's a special treat for ya!" Shigure can instantly see the dog perk up to the sound of his voice and the smell of meat. Shigure's tongue pokes out from the corners of his mouth as he launches the hot dog into the air. They look on as the hot dog lands in the water filled glass on night stand next to the bed.

"What kind of aim was that? I can't imagine you aiming that bad when you use the rest room." Ayame teased. Shigure frowned at the other male's comment and pulled the hot dog back to him. He took aim again, "Hey Muffin, bite my weeny!" It lands in front of the dog this time catching it's full attention. Shigure pulls at the cord trying to get the dog to follow the hot dog off the bed. But his attempt was in vain for Muffin quickly bite down on the hot dog and chewed it up.

"To hell with this! On to plan B!" Shigure announced before running up to the dog and snatching it. Ayame opens the box but quickly closes it as Shigure runs past him with a barking Muffin in his hands, Ayame follows after him out of the room, through the hall way and down the stairs.

"Will you shut that dog up Shigure!" Ayame said, reaching the bottom of the stairs in the living room. He watched Shigure try to muffle the dog's barking with his hands, only to give the dog a perfect shot at his hand. Biting down between Shigure's thumb and index fingers. Ayame paled at Shigure's wails.

"Wasn't Genkai supposed to be a quite sleeper?" Ayame thought to himself as he watched Shigure wail and thrash about the living. "Hey, will you keep it down?"

"Keep it down? This thing is biting my hand!" Shigure squeaked out as he saw the blood oozed out of where Muffin had a good grip on. Shigure grabbed his wrist with his free hand and flung his arm around, spilling blood on the walls. He backed up into the cupboard and moved forward to trip over the coffee table.

"This is bad." Ayame thought paralyzed in his spot at the sight of a wailing Shigure fighting of a dog. Shigure jumped up and faced Ayame. "Open that box now!" Ayame obeyed and timidly walked to him. Shigure throw his arm in the box and pulled his arm free the dog's mouth.

"Ha! Who's the boss now!" Shigure yelped and took the box from Ayame, who was at the desk looking for a pencil and a piece of paper.

"What should the note say?"

"Um, um. We got him, pay us 120,000,000 yen or he's a dead dog!" Shigure answered, directing the last part to the box in the box. "How was that?"

"It was fine."

"Good, now lets get the hell out of here." He tossed the box to Ayame and they both made a mad dash out of there. They reached the beat up, old truck, allowing Ayame to place the box in the back of the truck, forgetting to lock the doors. The two males grinning ear to ear as they pile into the truck. Ayame starts the truck up and drives off.

"120,000,000 yen! This is the happiest day of my life!" Ayame exclaimed, beaming.

"With that money we can do anything and I know what I'm going to do. I'm going to better myself and go to one of those four year university!" Unknown to them, Muffin had pushed off the lid of the box. Having more brains at the moment the dog jumped out of the opened back door of the truck and fell onto the pavement with a 'thud'. He quickly regained his balance and ran off back to his master, Genkai.

~!~

Genkai awakes to a bright and warm sun glaring into the little openings of the blinds. Her beloved, Muffin laid sound asleep next to her. She removed her ear plugs and thought, "Wow, I slept like a log last night with these things."

She softly awakes Muffin and gets out of being in a lazy manner, rubbing her cheek against the little dog. "Did you have a lovely sleep Muffin?" She asked playfully while walking down the stairs. As soon a she reaches the living room she was struck into shock. Her book shelf was face down on the floor while many books laid sprawled here and there. The table was in pieces and blood stained her walls and her self portraits. She walks around the room quickly and spots a white paper with writing on it. She grabs it in a panic and reads it aloud.

"We got him, pay us 120,000,000 yen or he's a dead dog!," She pauses to think. "Who's a dead dog?! Shigure? Shigure!!!"

~!~

Shigure and Ayame are walking down a busy street with a little more feeling into their step. They were without a care in world. The only thing on their minds was the great amount of money that was about to roll in soon.

"Man I got so many choices!" Shigure said lightly.

"I wanna get out of Tokyo. I was thinking the Caribbean would be nice with a hot and feisty girl like Machi [*1*]! "

The duo walk past a newspaper and take a quick glance at it and walks past it. The stop dead in their tracks, turn around and runs back to the news paper.

"AH!" They both scream. They panic and snatch the paper at once.

"Oh Kami-sama[3] I'm dead!" Shigure was horrified.

"We're going to jail! We're gonna be somebody's bitch!" Ayame panicked.

"What do you mean 'we'? That's my picture on the front page!" Shigure pushes Ayame to the side to get the whole newspaper in his hands.

"Who would of thought kidnapping a dog would make the front page!"

Shigure ignores Ayame and reads the article slowly, drinking it all in. "They think it was me! They think I was kidnapped! They don't even mention Muffin."

"That ridiculous! Why would anyone want to kidnap you?" Ayame in total disbelieve, he grabs the paper out of Shigure hands in an attempt to read the article himself.

"I don't know but they think someone did!" Shigure grabs the paper back from Ayame and reads in aloud to him. " There was signs of a fight, the butler's blood was on the wall and with note 'We got him. Pay us 120,000,000 yen or he's a dead dog!' "

Realization just sanked in and they ran off back towards Ayame's broken down truck. Ayame pulls the truck door open with ease since the lock was already broken. They look down in horror at the lidless box with Muffin no where in sight.

TBC *maybe* It'll get more funny later! I hope! ^.^()

~!~ Preview of Ch.2 ~!~

Kurama and Vegeta in the house!

Vegeta took a deep breath to calm his nerves, he desperately wanted to punch this old lady over and over again. He stared down at his blank notebook and let out a tiny cough.

"Genkai, Shigure Soma has worked for you for 15 years and you don't know if he has any friends or if he has any relatives?"

"Look detective, Genkai-san just told you everything she knows!" Yusuke spat out at Vegeta with a questioning look on his face.

"What are you talking about?! She hasn't told me anything!" Vegeta snapped losing his patience bit by bit.

~!~

Ahhh, that was refreshing. Listening to music does help you write...well for me it does. *sigh* Anyways this chapter took me a long time to do becuz I lost my rough draft. Since I couldn't find the script of this movie, I had to watched the movie in parts and write down what the characters said and minor details in what they were doing. When I lost my rough draft I total left this fic alone. Then I was writing this other one but I put that on hold. Since I'm a very lazy person and I'd rather read someone else's work than my own, it was very easy for me to stop writing. But I got in one of my *I gotta do some work* moods. I watched all the anime that I recorded but had put off to watch later and cleaned off my book shelf and I found my rough draft! XD I was quite glad. Now I had to post this!

[1] You know, I really don't want to imagine Genkai half naked, in nothing but her underwear.

[2] HaHa, I really don't wanna see Genkai and Yusuke kissing one another ass ~_~

[3] You hear me say Kami-sama I sound soooo dumb saying it! XD

Different character popups:

[*1]* I had to! Machi the best female girl in Hunter x Hunter. I just love the way she kicks ass and turns down Hisoka!! ^.^

"Those who know nothing, understand nothing," Ansem, Kingdom Hearts.
"Hard work pays off later, but laziness pays off now," Alex Dominguez.
"Your just jealous the voices talk to me, not you!" Unknown.
"I dont suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it," Unknown.
"Those who cannot remember the past, are condemned to repeat it," Unknown.