Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction / Fan Fiction ❯ War of Sanity ❯ Prologue

Nothing.
What was I?
Not a singer.
Not a guitarist.
Not an artist.
Not thin anymore.
Not lazy.
Not a good student.
I slowly sunk my head deeper and deeper into the pools water swimming with ease or there lack of. I swam and swam diving into the water twisting my body around as I broke through the waters surface; with each stroke my lungs were raw ready to explode till finally when my right arm extended up I took breathe putting my face back in kicking like crazy almost like a race against myself. The moment my hand collided with the water images from a race I lost brought me back to reality how I cried at not getting a good time falling me: The fastest swimmer.

The best student who trained for days at a time beating everyone’s time. I knew why the more tears that slid down my face the more I swam harder than ever till finally I blacked out. I woke up coughing water my friends crowded around me. No one knew what I did. They stared at me I knew what they thought of me: Stupid, Selfish, Perverted, Stuck-up, Loser. They weren’t my friends I just brushed them off walking down the steps they didn’t know anything they just sighed went out of my backyard as I sat down on the last step mouth in water taking off the cap.

I saw something in the dark me. What I use to be perfection. Now? I’m a bad person I knew it; it would forever eat at my soul. I was one of the worlds greatest liars. I don’t care if this one doesn’t either. I lost meaning in life. I was always thin flat stomach now as I looked at the four pack of jelly roll anger replacing that image in the dark tucked away gently like a new born baby. Even now I cry. Memories of me cutting, popping pills for headaches in my mouth everyday.

The bottles empty and hollow now like me. I was tired everyday of the lies. I dragged myself out of the pool my family hates me everyone does. Who’d blame them? I mean I just got over a drug addiction to crave attention. Taking on 7 years kick like crazy only pushed away to fight you now I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m not you. That song is stuck in my damned head. I laughed. That’s it. Laughed crying and the laughter turned into laughter. I’m dead. I’m not me anymore. I was just Ice the very ice that covered the mountains of Nevada.

I was so weak and tired I got up not caring if I get burned but what scared me and made me laugh was when I was assaulted. I won’t ever say who but I was strangled underwater I knew who it was she held tighter digging her small long fingered hands around my neck I let her. Then I all of a sudden felt all the emotions pent up in me grabbed her hands digging my own nails in her hand as I grabbed her hair shoving her head underwater screaming: I HATE YOU! I WAS ALWAYS AFRAID OF YOU!
Fuck you! I CAN DEAL WITH THE DEATH OF YOU JUST GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

Instead of me choking her it was me choking myself my vision clearing I was strangling myself I jerked up gasping throat clenching I was sick. I knew it. I just broke down in sobs getting inside my wet limbs connecting with the cold tile as I went to the bathroom. I knew. They didn’t know at all.
I was afraid I was a failure I failed at living. To live is to die. To die is to live to be sane is to be insane to be insane is to be sane.
I turned the hot water on as I stripped off every piece of protection. I rested my head against the white wall of the shower singing softly to myself as I shut my eyes. Dragging my bare cold body to my bed merely brushing off the towel changing into shorts and shirt my red black hair covering my pillows as I fell backwards holding an empty bottle and pills in the other. I looked above CD player going on:



Oh why can't I be what you need?


A new improved version of me.



But I'm nothing so good

no, I'm nothing...

just bones, a lonely ghost burning down songs
of violence, of love, and of sorrow.

I beg for just one more tomorrow!

Where you'd hold me down, fold me in

deep deep deep in the heart of your sins.

I broke again in tears shutting my eyes letting the song lull me into the tempting sleep.


I'd break in two over you

I'd break in two
and each piece of me dies a
nd only you can give the breath of life!
But you don't see me. You dont.

Something in my hand making a loud noise as it dropped to the ground

Here I'm pinned between darkness and light,

bleached and blinded by these nights.

Where I'm tossing and tortured till dawn

by you, visions of you, then you're gone.

The shock bleeds the red from my face,

when i hear someone's taken my place.

How could love be so thoughtless, so cruel?

When all, all that i did was for you...


“I love you mommy, daddy, my baby sisters Im sorry..” I popped all of the remaining sleeping pills that was held in my hand into my mouth keeping the song on repeat.



I'd break in two over you

I'd break in two

and each piece of me dies

and only you can give the breath of life!

But you dont see me. You don't.


Sleep… I was tempted and I shut my eyes then stopped weakly

I'd break in two over you


I'd break in two


and each piece of me dies

and only you can give the breath of life!

But you don't see me. You don't.


Numbly dialing 9-1-1 “I need an ambulance I took so many..pills….so pretty…” Then I dropped the phone as the operator sent an ambulance. I was fast asleep


I'd break in two over you,

I'd break in two over you! Over you

I'd break in two,

I would break in two for you.


Now you see me, now you don't.

Now you need me, now you don't.










I woke up hooked up to a machine. “Where am I?” I saw disappointment etched in a doctors face “Ms. Jaganshi you have amnesia .”
I screamed ripping the needles out of my arm madly running for the mirror as three men came in a red head, a short spiky haired guy, tough guy wearing a helmet on his head Or was that hair?
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Should I continue this story? Who’s this mystery girl?
Why she in Yukina’s body? REVIEW IF I SHOULD CONTINUE