Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction / Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction / InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ What Revenge Brings ❯ Chapter 8: Kougaiji's Pain ( Chapter 8 )

Disclaimer: I still don’t own anything except for my plot and my OC’s.

*What Revenge Brings*

Chapter 8: Kougaiji’s Pain

Kougaiji was sitting there in her garden crying. Kougaiji of all people was crying. Kagome was at a loss of what to do when he suddenly pulled her still form to him and sobbed. Okay, sobbed was to mild of a word. He bawled, whimpered and whined all at the same time. Kagome of course winced at not only the abuse of her sensitive ears but at Kougaiji’s obvious show of pain. He never showed pain. Perhaps that’s why they got along so well neither of them showed there true emotions.

“Kougaiji...” Kagome started off hesitantly. “What's wrong?” She asked keeping her voice soft, soothing. She didn’t give a damn what those demons lurking in the shadows thought of her now they were seeing her ‘soft’ side. All she cared about was Kougaiji and how to stop the pain that he was so obviously feeling.

“It wasn’t fair!!!” He cried and then she knew.

She knew exactly what he was talking about. Lirin. She had been the light of Kougaiji’s life. She was hyper and energetic, sweet, a real adorable kid. Kagome had been a few human years older then her at the time about two years older then her. She had been Yura’s age when Naraku had broken her, killed her. Kagome never forgot the look on her face. That haunted look. That look that broadcasted absolute pain and misery, torture. And the fact that Kagome couldn’t save her would also haunt her forever along with the fact that she couldn’t save Yura, herself or anyone else that had been involved in there abduction.

“Nothing in life is fair Kougaiji...” Kagome spoke softly, “If life were fair then none of us would have had to go through the things we’ve been through. But those things are the things that teach us, those pains are the one’s we learn the most from. Those are the things that shaped us into who we are today. We may not be the kindest or gentlest but we are those that protect what we have to at the cost of our humanity.”

“We gave up that humanity that all creatures have no matter what the quantity of it to become perfect so we could atone for all the wrongs we’ve done and let happen. But in doing so we let our ability to love and show true emotions freely. In becoming perfect we lost a part of ourselves. But we did it because that is what we needed to do to survive. We protect every single one of our people all the time from things they can’t even begin to comprehend. We do things because we have to. Not because it’s fair or unfair but because it is our duty, because it’s the right thing to do. The things that happened to us aren’t fair now and weren’t fair then. But the only thing we can do is move on and try to cope with what has happened, find some closure. And the only way you and I can find closure is if Naraku and his followers are dead.” Kagome said keeping her voice quiet.

“You’re right...I know you are and I just...can’t help but wonder if we would have been different if things had turned out right for us instead of them turning out so wrong.”

“I don’t know if they would have turned out different, but I do know that we can’t change the past and that we have to look at the present instead of the past. We can’t keep living like this...I wasted 4 years recovering from the wounds that Naraku inflicted on me. I wasted them on experiments, training, healing and I’ll never fully heal from the damage. But I can take my revenge for what happened and what he made me do. I will live with not only the guilt of what happened then but what’s happening now because I hadn’t been strong enough to stop Naraku from getting away.” Kagome said tears in her eyes refusing to fall.

“You will live with the guilt as well Kougaiji. The guilt of not being there to protect us or your sister and you will blame yourself for her death everyday. But there’s nothing you can do about it...nothing.”

“I know...I know...” Was all he managed before falling into a bout of heart wrenching sobs. Kagome wrapped her arms around his body from behind him resting her head on his shoulders considering he was still to tall for her to lay her head on his own even when sitting down.

She sung softly to him hoping to calm his rattled nerves and torn emotions.

~When you get caught in the rain with no where to run
When your distraught and in pain without anyone
When you keep crying out to be saved
But nobody comes and you feel so far away
That you just can’t find your way home you can get there alone
It’s okay what you say is~

~I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again, on my own
And I know that I’m strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day and I make it through the rain~

~And if you keep falling down don’t you dare give in
You will arise safe and sound, so keep pressing on steadfastly
And you’ll find what you need to prevail
What you say is~

~I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again on my own
And I know that I’m strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day and I make it through the rain~

~And when the rain blows, as the shadows grow close don’t be afraid
There’s nothing you can’t face
And should they tell you you’ll never pull through
Don’t hesitate, stand tall and say~

~I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again on my own
And I know that I’m strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day and I make it through the rain~

~I can make it through the rain
And I live once again
And I live one more day
And I can make it through the rain
(Yes you can)
You will make it through the rain~

As Kagome finished off the song she noticed Kougaiji bleary eyed, relaxed face. In fact, Kagome was certain that if his vocals allowed him to he’d be purring. The combination of her scent, warm arms and soothing voice was too much for Kougaiji to take he succumbed to temptation and fell into a deep slumber. Well...It was either that or take her and he certainly wasn’t foolish enough to attempt to seduce her.

She gestured for Conri to take him to his quarters so he could rest. She stayed behind dismissing Sirus to go to his room or go and curl up in her bedroom. She spread her senses searching for who was in her gardens. Apparently there was the kitsune Kurama, the bat demon Kuronue, the crow demon Karasu, the hybrid Hiei and one more person Yomi.

She dismissed them all as harmless. They were all at least A class youkai. So it was kind of a blow to there pride when she didn’t even seem to acknowledge them. She seemingly ignored there very presence. A blow to the ego if any.

“May I ask what you are all doing in my gardens?” She asked her voice soft yet threatening.

No reply came. Big surprise there. They weren’t expecting her to acknowledge them. Kagome rose a brow at the silence not that she expected an answer. She of course decided to ignore them anyway, stood and walked away but not before saying one last thing to the demons in her gardens.

“Hurt anything in the garden and forfeit your lives. So much as look at anything in the garden wrong and you will lose your ability to see. Goodnight.”

Youko was surprised, that women had the audacity to say such things to him? Did she not know of whom she was dealing with? Well that was what most demons in the clearing were thinking but Yomi followed after her silently wondering about her last comment. ‘Did she not know I am blind?’ he thought to himself. Kagome felt Yomi following her all the way back to her room. She was getting quite tired of it.

“Is there something that you needed General Yomi of the Western Lands?” She asked formally.

“Why did you make that last comment of losing one’s eyesight?” He asked coldly.

Kagome narrowed her eyes at the tone. “I’d forgotten that you are blind. Please excuse my lack of respect towards you.”

“Now if you would be so kind as to excuse me I’d like to get some rest.” Kagome told him politely before entering her room leaving Yomi to his thoughts.

However when Kagome entered her room Sephiroth was there looking at her or rather in the general direction of the door as if waiting for her to come in. She paused for a moment looking at him blankly. She turned behind her to see if someone had managed to sneak up behind her and found no one.

“Is there a reason you’re staring at me?”

“Kougaiji wanted you to come to his quarters. He needs to talk.”

“And you believe otherwise.”

“Yes.”

“Well that’s to bad. He’s one of the generals of hell it’s his responsibility to run documents and tactical strategies by me. If you want to think there is something going on between Kougaiji and I then that’s your business.” Kagome said before turning and leaving the room. She transported herself to Kougaiji’s room as soon as she stepped out of the hallway. He was on his bed silent tears falling down his face. Although his facial expression of calm blankness never wavering she could still see the pain in his eyes that he made no attempt to hide from her. She laid beside him and cradled his upper body and head in her arms resting her head on the crown of his she held him as he cried for himself, his sister and everything else that had gone so wrong in his life.

Kougaiji was eventually lulled to sleep by Kagome’s comforting arms and intoxicating scent. Kagome looked down at the sleeping general in her arms, closed her eyes and fell into a light slumber. ‘It wouldn’t do us any good if someone were to sneak up upon Kougaiji when he’s in such a state of turmoil.’ Kagome thought silently.

The next morning found everyone in the dinning hall eating. Besides Kagome and Kougaiji that is. Sephiroth having been well enough to move so he left Kagome’s room shortly after dawn. Kougaiji slept in, Kagome let him. She watched over his sleeping form since dawn wondering when she’d gotten so weak.

‘Sometimes, I too wonder if things would have turned out differently if none of what happened with Naraku happened. Would I be like I am today? Or would I be able to trust people? But so many things led up to my ‘trust’ issues.’ Kagome thought to herself. ‘The thing with Riku, Naraku, My own childhood, an uncaring mother, a blind father, a traitorous sister...So many different things. And because of things said and did I wanted to be better so I could take better care of Bankotsu, Hiten, The Generals, Hell, Our People...myself.’

“I strived for perfection...because I despised myself.”

And that was the true revelation behind all of her training. She hated herself, blamed herself for all the bad things that happened that she couldn’t change. She blamed herself for Kougaiji’s sister’s death, Kohaku’s death, Yura’s death...And her own fall from grace. There are so many things that she blames herself for that she can’t even say them all. Behind her facade of cool aloofness is a burning pit of rage, sorrow...regret.

Kougaiji awoke to Kagome’s statement of perfection. He looked at her watching as the wind from the open window tossed her hair about behind her like a cloak. He watched with sharp violet eyes as emotion filled those normally cold golden eyes. Fury, pain and sorrow were the only emotions in her eyes but what he failed to notice was the bitter regret that lingered if only for a moment before all emotions were shut away.

“I believe that it’s time for breakfast Kougaiji. Get dressed I will meet you outside of your quarters in 30 minutes.” Kagome said before taking her leave.

Kougaiji sighed and ran a hand through his silky red locks before proceeding to the showers to bathe. Kagome did the same thing letting the scalding hot water run over her body, relaxing her tense muscles. She noticed Sephiroth gone from her room this morning and figured he was strong enough to go to breakfast and take care of himself now. He no longer needed her to monitor him.

Kougaiji stepped out of the room clad in long tight black pants and a long sleeved white dress shirt with a black vest over that. He also had his two earring on his left ear as was tradition. Lirin gave him those earrings. He had a sword strapped to his hip and a Smith and Wesson .22 Magnum. It could hold 6 rounds, weighed 45 ounces, had Pinned Patrideg front sight and an adjustable black rear sight. It’s overall length was 11-1/8 inches. Kagome had given it to him as his 2nd gun when he’d been promoted to general. In fact he’d gotten several gifts such as this revolver from her along with traditional weapons. There were a few things that Kagome forgot to mention to the other’s about Naraku that Kougaiji told them. Naraku used guns as well. He enjoyed shooting Kagome and Yura up but not enough to kill them. Just enough to hurt, to sting badly.

Kagome was waiting just as she said she would be. She was armed as was usual but her dress was a little different then usual. She wore a tight long sleeved shirt that was made from possibly lycra but it cut off just under her breasts and long baggy black pants with black shoes, not boots, shoes. She had one sword strapped to each hip and a crossbow on her back. She had, no doubt, many concealed weapons on her most likely including anything from kunai to ninja stars to poison darts to blades and guns of all caliber and sizes. She had something hidden in her hair. She always did.

“Come on. We’re late enough as it is.”

When the two walked in together it raised some suspicions as to what the two were doing in just about everyone except Hell’s generals, Bankotsu and Jakotsu. Botan’s eyes stayed glued to Kougaiji even as he glared at the insolent women. It was like she was possessed to like all the hot guys in the room. She started dressing even more provocatively then most of the women of hell and started flirting her way up to Kagome’s brothers where she was roughly pushed aside by Kagome who glared daggers at her. Botan shrunk away immediately choosing easier prey...Suikotsu.

‘Kagome!!! Help!’ Came his cry for help.

Kagome stood from the now quiet table and sauntered her way over to where Botan proceeded to sit in Suikotsu’s lap. She yanked her out of his lap and threw her to the floor, backhanding her sending her into the wall. She stalked her like a great cat stalks it’s prey and she sped her way over to Botan grasping her neck in a crushing hold.

“If you wish to touch one of your people then that’s your business, but when you start to touch one of my people then it becomes my business.” Kagome hissed in the ferry’s ear. Botan’s eyes were fearful as she nodded.

Kagome smirked predatorily. “Good then. We understand each other.”

As Kagome walked towards the table she heard the dagger whistling through the air, turned and caught it before it could hit her. She shook her head at the woman and looked at Koenma.

“Your woman tried to kill me, for that she forfeits her life. “ Kagome gestured for Sei to come out of the shadows he slithered his way over to his mistress eager to make amends. She stroked his large, scaly face and said something in the snakes mind that caused him to consume Botan.

“What did you say to him?” Koenma asked softly looking up at her.

“I told him to kill her.” Sei slithered his way back to Kagome and laid his head on her lap as Saber entered the room and sat at Kagome’s left opposite of Sei. They regarded each other with a grudging kind of respect before turning to their mistress. Kagome nodded there head and that was all the permission they needed to go to the hunting grounds.

Breakfast was a silent, tense affair after that to everyone besides the generals of hell, Bankotsu and Hiten as well as Kagome who seemed unaffected by it all. The generals were conversing with Bankotsu and Hiten. Kagome nodded her head in the affirmative or shook it in the negative once in a while when asked a question. She noticed the glances everyone gave her but ignored them. She was used to it.

After breakfast the Reikai tantei met in the library. Yusuke and Kuwabara were outraged that Kagome had Botan killed. Not that they weren’t worried about her mental state when she proceeded to fuck anything that moved. They still didn’t think she deserved death. Kurama, Hiei, Sanzo, Goku, Gojyo and Hakkai however knew why Kagome did what she did. It is after all a rule heavily enforced, you don’t attack someone when there back is turned or they have permission to kill you.

“Yusuke, Kuwabara. It was Kagome’s right.” Koenma’s calm teenage voice flowed out into the room as the Reikai Tantei turned to look at Koenma, beside him was Kagome.

“She attacked me whilst I was not looking, It was a direct challenge to my authority therefore she had to die.”

“She didn’t know!” Yusuke cried.

“Oh, she knew, it’s her job as the ferry girl to know all the realms and the rules in them including the main rules held by all realms besides Ningenkai of course since they don’t know about the other worlds.” Kagome spoke her voice clear and curt.

“She was expendable, nothing but a waste of space, I don’t care how many times she fucked you or your friends but when she starts sleeping with the men in hell then it becomes my business. Especially when she starts trying to seduce unwilling men of hell. Your lucky that it was me that killed her and not some other angry female who was out for the blood of your friend. They would not have been so kind.” Kagome said.

“Kind?!?!?!?”Kuwabara screeched.

Kagome glared at the man. “Yes, what I did was something considered kind, because I normally kill the disturbances and delinquent fools in a much more agonizing way.” Kagome replied smoothly to the aggravated man.

“Now settle down.” Kagome said using a burst of power to send them to the floor in sitting positions. “Good boys.” They complained, loudly might I add. Kagome’s eyebrow twitched in annoyance.

“You will shut up or I will make you.”

They shut up.

“There you are Koenma. If you need to discuss anything with me later, I’ll be in my study. Good luck with your boys Koenma, you really need to consider having those two trained better the others are very well behaved.” Kagome said leaving the room from whence much cursing and degrading comments were being directed her way.

She didn’t even blink.