Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction / Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction ❯ Dragons of Shame ❯ Chaptire 17 ( Chapter 17 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

By: monkeyking2089

Dragons of Shame

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho, Saiyuki or Journey to the West. They belong to their respectful owners.

AN: Yes, yes…I know. It's been over a year since I updated. So I figured that I should post this chapter. Yes? Yes. Mmmmmmkay! Here it is everyone!

Chaptire 17: The Fox in the Snow

I just want to feel…safe in my own skin…

Botan was sitting in bed alone, the covers wrapped around her tightly, when her cell phone rang. She recognized the specific ring tone she had for the caller, it was Ken. The first call was easily ignored, the second was somewhat tough and the third was just irritating, so by the thirteenth call she was ready to bash her head in with the damn thing. When she finally answered Ken gave a sigh of relief at the sound of her voice.

“It's so good to hear your voice!” He breathed “Did Ranma come home? Is everything alright now?” Botan didn't answer immediately, she bit her lip and wondered how she should respond.

After a long moment she answered tentatively “Well,” she closed her eyes, fighting tears “He'll be spending some time with his uncle. I think its best for both of us. What I've done to him is…unforgivable, Kenichi.”

“Falling in love is unforgivable?” He scoffed.

Botan frowned “No,” she snapped “But falling in love with the wrong person is.” Ken went silent.

“I'm…the wrong person, eh?”

“I'm thinking so.” Botan sighed “I'm sorry, I know we've been through a lot together but my son comes first, I'm ashamed of myself for forgetting that.” Ken remained silent “Kenichi, I'm sorry.” More silence. “I'm hanging up now.”

“DON'T HANG UP ON ME.” Ken snarled “You think you can just dump me like this? Who do you think you are?” Botan didn't know how to react “This isn't over. This will never be over.”

“Kenichi,” she breathed “I-“ She was cut off by a loud click as he hung up. There was a soft knock on the door.

“Botan, are you alright? May I come in?” It was Kurama, his soft voice was comforting, even through the thick wood door. When allowed entry he closed the door silently behind him and sat at the foot of the bed. “I heard your phone ringing.”

“Ah,” the blue haired woman said softly “So you heard some of the conversation, as well.” Kurama nodded.

“I didn't mean to eavesdrop.” Botan shook her head and grabbed hold of his hand. The contact sent a small shiver down the fox's spine. He gripped tightly to her hand as he brought it to his lips “God, Botan…” he closed his eyes as she touched his cheek “I've missed you so much.”

Botan wrapped her arms around him and rested her head on his shoulder as she had done in the past countless times before “I've missed this,” she sobbed “I didn't want to leave…But I had to for Ranma. I couldn't let him know what happened. And I refused to ruin your friendship with Hiei.”

Kurama shook his head “He was never really my friend, now was he?” he growled “Doing that to you…I'll kill him the moment I see him again.”

“I…” Botan bit her lip again “don't think he was completely himself that night.”

“You're defending him?

“No.” she said defiantly “I'm just trying to make some sense out of the situation. Kurama, I'm so confused and angry with myself for hurting my child, for thing you, for hurting everyone. I've done more harm than good, and now I'm paying for it. I might not ever see my son again!” A strangled sob escaped her and she hid her face in her hands. “There's something going on, and I have no idea what it is. All this time I've felt this...this…this dark force present, and recently it's just been growing!”

“What do you mean `dark force'?” Kurama asked.

“It's as if there's someone in my head half the time, telling me what to do. I'm worried that I'm going crazy or something!” She cried “I'm not trying to say I'm not at fault for the things I've done, because I take full responsibility for my actions, but there's someone or something watching me. Watching everyone. And I think even Ranma was aware of it. I'm so worried, Kurama. If I'm not in control of myself, then someone could easily make me hurt someone I care about.”

Kurama listened to his former fiancée's words without interruption, trying to make sense of what she was saying. Trying to make a connection. She told him about the moment when Ranma had attempted to strangle her, and how he had run into the street, screaming in agony and she told him what the gods had told her before they left.

“Botan,” he soothed when she had run out of breath “we'll get Ranma back..” He pulled her into his embrace “I promise you, we will return him home safely.”

“No!” she sobbed “He can't be near me! I'll only hurt him…I can't do that. Besides, the gods are too strong, you won't be able to defeat them and rescue the boys. They won't hesitate to kill you, especially Goku and his gang.”

“You forget who you're dealing with,” Kurama chuckled “We're all too stubborn for our own good.” Botan gave a small laugh “If you had only seen how stubborn I was at trying to find you.” Botan sniffled and held him tighter.

“I can imagine…” she mused allowed in a soft whisper “I wanted to contact you…I wanted you to be Ranma's father…but Goku said it would be best not to do so.”

“He was stupid for saying that.” Kurama replied “I would have cared for Ranma as if he were my own.” He pulled away slightly to gaze into the lavender pools of Botan's “I will care for him still…if you'll accept me.” Botan shivered at his words and for a moment, she honestly wanted to accept.

The words “Yes, yes, of course!” played on her tongue, but she stifled them and pushed her former love away.

“No,” she answered quietly “I can't allow that.” Kurama felt his heart sink.

“'No'?” He repeated “But-I already…why not?”

“It's my selfishness that got us into this situation in the first place.” She responded “And I refuse to hurt Ranma any further. Forcing my old love on him won't be helping him, he might think you're his father-“

“Then let him!” Kurama exclaimed with a slight panic to his tone, he didn't want to lose Botan for a second time “I can be his father! I would be his father if that idiot Hiei hadn't fucked things up!” Botan sighed again.

“No, Ranma wouldn't be Ranma had you been his father.” She stared at Kurama seriously “His is Hiei's child, and one day they will meet each other as father and son.”

“And how do you expect Ranma to react when he finds out the way he was conceived?” Kurama snapped “Do you think he'll be okay with that?” Don't you think that will hurt him even more?”

“That is none of your concern, Kurama.” Botan replied coldly “And neither is his `rescue.' I was told to sort out my life, and I'm going to try. Then the gods will return him to me. And then…” tears stung her eyes “Then I can explain everything to him.” She stared at Kurama again “Please,” tears now falling freely from her eyes “just leave everything to the gods. They won't hurt Yusuke's son.”

Kurama stood up and walked towards the door, he glanced at Botan over his shoulder “I can't do that.” He replied.

Botan gripped the bed sheets tightly “Then you will die.” She said in another cold voice “Because Goku and the others will not show mercy.” Kurama slammed the door behind him as he walked out. Yusuke and the others stared at him quizzically as the fox demon came down the stairs.

“Is Botan alright?” Kuwabara asked.

“Go see for yourself.” Kurama snarled and he walked outside, yet again slamming the door behind him. The free falling snow was thick and the freezing wind was strong but at that very moment he felt neither as they whipped at his flesh. He walked across the yard, leaving thick footprints that would be covered with fresh snow in a matter of seconds, through the ankle deep snow towards the empty street. He looked back at the house and saw Botan staring at him from her window, the moonlight gleaming off her pale skin.

They locked eyes for a moment that seemed to last forever until Botan turned away, another ache passed through the fox demon's heart before a surge of anger overtook his body. In an instant Yoko-Kurama was in his place glaring at the place Botan had been standing. He turned away and stared at the moon “I will get my mate back.” He growled “And I will make Hiei pay for what he did.”

And I'm so lonely I don't even wanna be with myself…anymore.

AN: So this was a bit of a long chapter, I think. I apologize for the delay in the chapter. I hope you enjoyed it! Please Review.