Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction / InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ A Changed Miko ❯ Scars and Confessions ( Chapter 17 )

It was now settling into the early evening hours and the Shard Hunters, plus one Inu Taiyoukai, were currently sitting around a blazing fire in front of the elder miko's hut. After the event with Kagome's restoration of Sesshoumaru's arm, the Great Dog had joined the Fox in a hunt for that night's meal, while Kagome and Sango had gone to the hot springs.

 

~*~

 

Upon slipping out of the ill-fitting miko garb that she had been dressed in, she guessed it was Kaede's, Kagome began walking into the warm mineral water to join her sister in a much needed cleansing. However, hearing a sharp intake of air from said female, Kagome stopped dead in her tracks and regarded her friend with a questioning glance. It was then that she noticed the tears in Sango's eyes…the eyes that seemed trained onto Kagome's own flesh. Following the gaze of the huntress, Kagome too looked down the length of her body and instantly understood her friend's reaction.

 

No one had seen the damage done to her body save Youko and Kaede who had healed her. In fact, this was the first time Kagome had even seen the expanse of harm to her person, though she wasn't shocked really. She knew what she had been through…she remembered how it felt. She knew too that Sango was only seeing her front and cringed at the reaction she was sure to get once she turned around.

 

Kagome could feel the deep scars that streaked across the pale flesh of her back strain and pull at her movements. She assumed the odd feeling was because the skin was forced to heal so quickly, due to her own powers and those of Kaede and Youko. That knowledge did little to settle her emotions though. The feeling of those claws -his claws- tearing through the tender skin on her back seemed to be forever fresh in her mind. How many times had she held onto that clawed hand? How many times had those dangerous talons been wrapped around her in a hug of sorts?

 

Desperately, she wanted to believe he was in a youkai rage. She wanted to think that he didn't know what he was doing and she remembered the way her heart fell when she saw gold still prevalent in his crimson gaze. He had known on some level exactly what was occurring…he knew and he didn't fight it.

 

The young miko stepped fully into the hot springs and settled down in the warmth, leaning against a nearby rock. `And to think, he might have carried out his plan too…had it not been for my toying with the Spirit Detectives in my time.' She was shaken from her darker memories by the gentle voice of her friend.

 

“Kagome, will you be okay? I hate to sound selfish, but I -we- need you. Shippou needs you. I know that you have always been one to put others before yourself Kagome, but you deserve to be happy too. We will understand if you can't stay here with us anymore.” Sango whispered softly, her voice coming out harsher than she would have liked with the effort to staunch her own sobs. She knew how badly Kagome had been hurt and truly did understand if she couldn't stay…but her heart broke a little at the thought of her leaving them for good.

 

The priestess could only smile at the down bent head of her friend. “Sango, don't worry. I won't leave you by my choice. When the Shikon is complete however, I don't know what will happen. I have a duty to finish here in this era…and finish it I will. I refuse to let Naraku continue to saunter around as though he has done no wrong. That bastard deserves what will come to him. It was my fault the jewel was broken in the first place; my fault that your village and kin were destroyed; my fault Shippou's parents were killed. Despite what has recently occurred, I will continue on as long as I am able.”

 

Sango could only stare, open-mouthed and wide-eyed, at her friend. The slayer knew the miko was both passionate and compassionate, but had never heard her say something with such vehemence and determination. She realized in that instant how much Kagome had grown over the years. She wasn't the clueless little girl from the future anymore. Kagome was a woman and a very powerful one at that. Her restoration of Sesshoumaru's arm was testament enough.

 

Sighing heavily at her own doubts of Kagome she spoke softly, “I'm sorry Kagome. I guess if it had been me that had been through such an ordeal, I would have been ready to hide away from the world. I should have known that you would not break as easily. When did you become such a strong woman anyway?” She added the last question to lighten the mood. She could see the dark shadows that had crept across the miko's blue depths and knew it couldn't be good for her so soon.

 

Watching her friend's reaction warily, Sango immediately relaxed when the shadows left and her blue orbs brightened once more. `Now, Sango thought, time to find out just what is happening in the love life of our favorite miko.'

 

Kagome shifted restlessly against the rock she was leaning on when she noticed the wicked gleam that entered Sango's eyes. She knew those looks…those looks were mischievous and devilish. Sango was planning something.

 

“Kagome, what is going on with you and all the youkai anyway? It is obvious that there is something between you and Hiei. What about Youko and Sesshoumaru?” Seeing her friends face flush crimson, Sango nearly wanted to dance in triumph.

 

The young miko first paled and the blushed furiously. She knew what Sango was referring to. She and Hiei were already extremely close for some reason and she had felt a pull of attraction to Kurama as well. As for Sesshoumaru? Well, how could any girl not admire his beauty? Honestly?

 

Normally, one would out right laugh at the thought of using such a term to describe such a deadly male. That didn't matter though…he was beautiful. He seemed untouchable and held the same godlike quality that Youko did. Kurama and Youko were both gorgeous males and Hiei? Hiei was fire, passion, determination and skill wrapped into a nice little package.

 

Her blush not lessening, especially in light of her current thoughts, Kagome decided to answer Sango. “Well, nothing is really going on with any of them. Hiei and I seem to be almost connected somehow. Even if I am a human, we have a lot in common. He makes me feel safe. I feel the same sort of pull to Kurama, Youko and Sesshoumaru too, just not to the same extent. It doesn't really matter though. I am just a ningen while they are all incredibly attractive and powerful youkai who could have any demoness they set their eyes on.” Forcing down the lump in her throat, she spoke once more, softly “I am not good enough for any of them.”

 

The taijiya's eyes watered slightly before anger replaced the sadness tenfold. It was all that damn dog's fault! He had her broken down and crushed underfoot long before he attempted to rape her. Kagome had given her heart and soul to that ungrateful hanyou and he had torn it asunder. Now, it was obvious to everyone that the aforementioned youkai had some sort of feelings towards the young miko; hell, she had even caught Yusuke looking at her with something akin to longing in his eyes. Yet here Kagome sat, tears building in the corners of her eyes, oblivious to her chances at love because of the first one she gave her heart to.

 

While Sango was busy entertaining thoughts of redemption towards the inu hanyou, Kagome was busily washing the long length of her blue-black hair. Once done, she scrubbed vigorously at her body until her skin turned pink. Finally, she felt clean. Wringing the water from her hair she stood from the springs and grabbed a towel to wrap around the strands. Turning fully to step out of the warming water, she heard the gasp she knew would be coming.

 

“Kami Kagome,” Sango started in a soft, nearly strangled voice, “how did you even live through that?”

 

Tilting her head to the side to regard her friend, she answered “I don't really know Sango. I guess it just wasn't my time to die.”

 

That said, she continued out of the springs, dried off and dressed in a clean kimono before combing through her hair. Sango soon followed her and they made their way back to their group.

 

~*~

 

All allies, new and old were milling about the campsite waiting on the two females to return. The Demon Lord and Kitsune Thief had returned with their catches and had them cleaned and sitting over the fire. The almost comfortable passage if silence was shattered when the group heard a violent growl sound out from a nearby tree. All eyes turned to regard the Fire Apparition.

 

Hiei was positively livid and realized he had not wanted to tear into the hanyou half as bad before as he did now. He had been reclining in a tree near the camp waiting for Kagome to return when the Jagan flared to life and focused intensely on Kagome. He was hoping that the slayer could help coax the miko farther from her mind and, with the Jagan being an eavesdropper, thought she was succeeding. He felt proud of her, hearing the determination overshadow the depression and sorrow that came from the miko.

 

Then, he had anxiously awaited her answer to the question posed by Sango. He had come across that small place in her mind where he was and was curious as to what she thought they had, if anything. At hearing that she felt something towards the Fox and Taiyoukai as well as him, he growled lowly but stopped himself from getting angered. At least she wasn't thinking of the half-breed. He knew youkai shared mates on occasion and didn't necessarily mind the arrangement, should she choose it. But they had to fight him first.

 

He had calmed considerably at this thought only to have him in an uproar, literally, when he heard the phrases that fell from her lips next. She still thought she was worthless, despite all she had been through and lived through.

 

That was when the growl burst from his chest and startled the daylights out of the ones below him. Now they were all looking at him expecting an explanation. Hiei wasn't a conversationalist, but he knew that her friends needed to know that she was more damaged than she appeared.

 

Sighing heavily, he leapt from his perch on the tree to land gracefully on the ground. Taking a seat on a nearby log next to the Fox, Hiei recounted what he had just `heard' from Kagome and was met with much the same reaction as he himself had: pure, unbridled anger. They all knew though, that the dog's fate lay within her hands.

 

As if thoughts could summon her, Kagome and Sango stepped free of the trees and walked back to the campfire.

 

~*~

 

Kagome knew as soon as she set foot outside the trees that something had transpired. Every single being in their camp was rigid and seemed to be seething. Curious as to what could have brought on such a thing, Kagome walked briskly into the group and settled herself down on the ground between Hiei and Youko.

 

“What's going on guys? Why is everyone so tense?” The young miko asked, obviously oblivious to the dark thoughts of inexplicable torture that was passing through the minds of her companions. Not gaining an answer to her question, Kagome formed a solid wave of calm in her soul and released it, efficiently surrounding them all.

 

Sesshoumaru was the first to completely calm his beast and turned his regal head towards her. “It has come to our attention that you are not as well as you pretend to be, Kagome. Why would you still consider yourself so worthless after surviving what should have killed you?”

 

Confusion at the Dog Lords' statement settled in her eyes briefly before she turned her head upwards towards Hiei. “What did you hear?” She said in a soft, nearly inaudible voice. She was praying to Kami he hadn't heard everything, though she was sure he had. However, she knew Hiei wouldn't impart such personal things, such as her feelings on certain youkai, to the group and relaxed slightly.

 

Locking his crimson gaze with her blue one, Hiei spoke softly, so as only the other youkai could hear “Only that you still believe yourself to be unworthy of us. Do you honestly believe that we would voluntarily stay here with you if we thought so?”

 

Tears filled her eyes at his softly spoken words. “I truly don't know Hiei…not anymore. A few years ago, if I had known you and you had said such a thing, I would have believed you without question. But after years of hearing how worthless and pathetic you are, you believe it.”

 

Scenting the salt in the air and hearing her broken confession, Youko decided it was his turn on the soapbox. “Kagome,” he called quietly and waited until she turned her attention to him, “you don't deserve to hurt this way…not over him. He was ungrateful and selfish. He had the most precious of treasures in you, and he threw it away. Please, let someone else cherish you.”

 

~*~