Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction / InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Bane of Existence/Love of A Lifetime ❯ Chapter One ( Chapter 1 )

“I'm sorry Yusuke,” she started, staring straight into his eyes, “but I can't do this anymore. I can't be with you anymore.”

 

Yusuke was puzzled. He and Keiko had been together for as far back as he could remember, even if they had only started as friends. They had even spoken about marriage and kids; now she was…dumping him? What happened? He voiced his questions.

 

“Keiko, I don't understand. I know I am always being called off for missions, but being a Spirit Detective is who I am, not just something I do. I am in the service of Reikai and even if I could change it, I'm not so sure I would want to. I thought we had discussed this before.”

 

The young girl's eyes flashed briefly in anger, “We have discussed this before but we never found a solution. It isn't just your missions either, Yusuke. I just don't want a life with you. I can't imagine, nor do I want to, having demon children. Having demon children and being married, or mated, or whatever it is, to a demon were never on my list of “Things to Do”. I want a stable man who has a safe job; I want to have human kids that won't have to worry about being killed for their blood; I want a normal life and I can't have it with you. Good bye Yusuke.”

 

With the last of her words spoken, she rose from the table they had been seated at, their food not even having arrived yet, and left a dumbstruck detective sitting in her wake.

 

~*~

 

How long had he been wandering? He didn't know. All the Spirit Detective was sure of is that he had left the restaurant shortly after Keiko had left him and was now meandering about aimlessly. Nothing seemed to make sense in his jumbled thoughts. Yusuke had always known that Keiko wasn't happy with the way he lead his life or the things he had to do, but he was. Although he hated the inconsistent missions and unbelievably bad timing, such as when he was asleep, he did enjoy what he had to do. It made him feel special and strong, much as Keiko used to.

 

Now, as he walked about pointlessly, he realized he felt numb. Sure he had considered the fact that Keiko might, probably would, leave him at one point or another and he had to agree that a normal human couldn't adapt to a life filled with demons very well. So, in his mind when he thought over the fact that eventually Keiko would dump him, he had thought it to be because of the danger and instability that came with his profession.

 

Never in a million years had he thought it would be because she wouldn't want his children; his demon children.

 

It was that one fact that seemed to hurt the most and settle upon his heart with cold weight. Although he was crass, often times rude and rough around the edges, he had wanted a wife and kids. He wanted a family to take care of and be there for; the family he never had himself. For the last few years, he had assumed that if Keiko could learn to live with his job and lifestyle, that she would be the mother to his children.

 

And the fact that she wouldn't be, didn't want to be, slowly started tearing him up inside. Clawing and scratching at his soul as that one thought brought forth another: he would never find someone to take her place.

 

Not because he didn't want to, because already he did though he had loved her, but because he was now sympathizing with the fox. He now knew the true plight that was the kitsune avatar's life. Although both he and Kurama looked human, neither was. They both had the blood, or soul, of a very powerful youkai running through their veins, residing in their bodies.

 

And the more he walked, the more he thought about this new realization. And the more he thought, the more depressed he became. How many times had the fox been through this very thing already? Yusuke knew that Youko loved the feel of another and that Kurama truly wanted the same thing he did; a wife and a family. Apparently, they were both doomed and their very beings were now the bane of their existence.

 

For what human would both understand and except that he was a demon? Especially when the majority of the ningen population thought youkai to be myth? Of course, there was always the idea of taking a demoness, though as soon as the thought crossed his mind it was banished, trampled underfoot. Yusuke knew the ways of demons, and demonesses, and knew that they clambered for and craved power and wealth. Truly they were worse than ningen gold diggers.

 

Unfortunately, Yusuke knew that he could easily find a demoness to become his mate; for he had both wealth and power, along with lands in the Makai. However, this wasn't what he wanted. He had been human for the majority of his life and although he was demon now, he still craved a human for a mate. The detective loved the emotions that the human race was allowed and was easily entranced when watching them play across the face of a pretty young woman.

 

And a chill streaked down his spine to coil around his soul. He would never have a human female for his wife, or his mate. To find a human, male or female, which could believe in the existence of demons was extremely rare. To find a human female that would believe in him, trust in him and love him was something that was highly improbable of happening. Suddenly, he felt very small and alone in the world.

 

He realized now that he had been walking for hours and had found himself in a park. As he walked farther into the tree line, meandering past bushes and shrubs, he found a small stone bench seated underneath a Sakura tree in bloom. Abruptly, he plopped down upon the hard stone, not caring that he could have bruised something, and watched as the sunlight streamed through the trees and danced with the falling blossoms of the Sakura above him.

 

It truly was beautiful; he was in no mood to enjoy it. On any other day, even the obtuse and boorish detective could have found the simple beauty in the scene and would have let it swarm around him. Not today. Today, he had reached a sort of enlightenment, though he used that term loosely. The keen realization that had brought about this state of heightened clarification in his life was also responsible for his current dour mood.

 

While he sat upon the hard bench, he stared off into the expanse of the park and let his gaze become unfocused so the images of playing children and happy parents became blurred and hazy. `They're lucky.' He thought to himself, the sting of a life he would never have coming back and pinching at his heart.

 

Suddenly though, he felt an odd mixture of energy; something akin to holy and youkai. Thankful for the distraction, he focused on it and found them to be intermingled. He felt out the demon aura first and found it to be kitsune and the youkai's very soul seemed to be filled with happiness. `Odd.' Shaking his head, he turned his attention to the holy energy…and was shocked with what he felt.

 

He remembered back to his confrontations with Sensui and the feeling of the ex-detectives sacred energy and was shocked by the differences he found. Up until he had run across a wayward priest with very minuscule holy energy, he had thought them to be much the same. Though he couldn't as of yet see the creature that was exuding such strong ki, he could feel the power and purity behind it. That was the difference.

 

Purity. Maybe it wasn't holy energy at all then.

 

That tidbit of information sent his mind whirling. Why would any creature that possessed a purity he could nearly taste have their aura so entwined with that of a youkai? What was the difference between holy energy and what he now felt? He didn't know, but the more he focused on that aura, the more it reached out towards him and sent pinpricks up his spine. Whoever it was that held that energy knew how to use their powers quite well.

 

As quick as the eerie feeling came, it was gone and a wave of sincere calm and warmth wrapped around him, just as he heard the voice of what sounded to be a child. “Come on momma! That's not fair! You're legs are longer than mine!” Though the octave was high, he could still tell it was a young boy. The boy's pleas were answered by a voice that shocked him.

 

“Aw Shippou,” she started, her voice a gentle whisper, as if telling a secret, “it doesn't matter if my legs are longer. You, my kit, have the natural ability of speed.”

 

Yusuke's eyes widened. `Kit?! As in, kitsune child? That must be the youkai ki he had felt. But, that energy had been mingled with the other…the pure one. If possible, his eyes widened further with recognition. `Does that mean his `momma' is the source of that power and purity? How is that possible?! That kit is full blooded youkai!'

 

The poor detective was utterly confused, more so than he had been at Keiko's proclamation. A human with energy like that and a kit was calling her momma? That was far beyond weird and even though he was thinking he misheard and the female had said “kid” rather than “kit”, a tiny spark of hope flared in his heart.

 

Maybe, he could have what he wanted.

 

That was when he discovered the faces that conjoined with the voices and energies. A few yards in front and to the left of him where what appeared to be a young human female and her child. As they resumed their game, of what looked to be tag, they began closing in on him. When the odd duo had come within ten feet of him, they stopped. The young woman went to her knees in the grass and the child crawled into her lap.

 

Now with their close proximity, he was able to study them better and came to two conclusions: one, the girl couldn't possibly be the kit's natural mother and two, the girl was the most enticing creature he had ever seen with her long, shiny midnight hair and the most beautiful blue eyes he had ever seen. Both conclusions were frightening to him. The first one because it made the situation make even less sense than it had before; if the girl wasn't the kit's mother she had adopted him. What human would adopt a youkai?

 

The second was frightening because he had just been delivered a harsh blow and had pretty much resigned himself to a lonely life, the fox becoming his new brother in despair. Now, as he watched the two in front of him, that spark of hope flared to life a bit more.

 

His mind lost focus on the energies, which were even now coming closer to his location, as his heart took up precedence. Just as his numbed heart began to seek out the small flame of hope, a gentle hand dropped on his shoulder. Before he could think about what was going on, he heard a voice…her voice, against his ear, her warm breath caressing his neck.

 

“You know,” she started, in that same soft, reverent whisper, “if you walk too far in the past, you can get stuck there. Try not to think too hard about the way your heart is hurting. Instead, find something that gives you a spark of hope and hold on to it.”

 

He sat stock still hearing her words. They seemed too profound and too wise to have come from a girl that appeared to be the same age as he. It almost sounded like something Genkai would tell him. The stillness in his body remained for only a moment, but when he turned to question her, he found that both she and the child were gone.

 

~*~

 

As Kagome returned home, she pondered over the boy she had come into contact with at the park; the one coincidentally located next to her family's shrine.

 

Shippou had come home with her this time, leaving a fuming Inuyasha on the other side of the well. It had been four long years since she first started traveling to the Sengoku Jidai and not even a year earlier had she found out that not only she and Inuyasha could cross. Now, nearly every time she returned to her era, Shippou was hot on her heals.

 

Such was the case with her current visit home. It was their last day in the future and Kagome had decided to take a human looking Shippou, claws, ears, feet and tail hidden with an illusion, to the park adjoining her shrine. They had been playing tag for twenty minutes when she felt a prickling of youki crawl up her neck. She knew that the owner of the energy was feeling her out and, since she could sense no malice, she let it go. Once the youki receded, she sent out her own aura and found the one who had been studying her.

 

Without pretense, she began taking their game of tag closer to the pull of youki. Once she was within a closer range, she was able to see who it was. A young man who appeared to be around her age, was sitting alone on a bench underneath a Sakura tree. Immediately, she felt his strength but was saddened to find his aura laced with sorrow and despair. When he looked up towards her, blue met brown and she felt tears pricking the backs of her eyes. His own chocolate orbs held a raw pain and a cold numbness; he was becoming dead inside while his mind receded to painful memories.

 

Before she looked away, Kagome saw a tiny flash across his steady gaze and recognized it as hope. He still held hope within his soul; he was still savable. She watched as he lowered his eyes once more and became lost in himself before she moved. Scooping Shippou into her arms, she walked behind him and gave him a piece of advice.

 

Now, she was sitting on her bed, absentmindedly packing things into her yellow backpack so she would be ready to leave that night, still thinking on the dark haired young man whose soul seemed to be torn in much the same way hers was. She felt drawn to him in a way she hadn't felt with any other before. She wanted to wrap him up in her arms while they lost themselves in one another's sorrows. After all, she wouldn't mind drowning as long as she wasn't alone.

 

Fleetingly, the young miko wished she had thought to ask his name.