Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction / InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Memorial Address ❯ Memorial Address ( Chapter 1 )

Memorial Address

 

Sayonara ne mou nidoto aenai basho e itta none

Eien no wakare no tsumetasa o uketomerarezu ni

Kikasete hoshikatta uso de kamawanai kara

Atashi wa anata ni tashikani aisarete itatte

Tatta ichido de iikara

 

Memorial Address, Ayumi Hamasaki

 

 

 

Kagome's eyes opened as she felt the body next to her slide out of the bed. Looking up, she watched him dress silently, white silk covering tanned skin. She watched the muscles in his arms and shoulders flex appreciatively, and saw the large triangular ears turn in her direction when her heart sped up. Kagome sat up, the warm sheets falling away from her nude body.

 

“ You're leaving again,” Kagome stated softly. The youkai turned and nodded. Kagome sighed inaudibly and removed herself from the bed. She wrapped herself in a robe hanging from a hook on the wall. She turned back to her lover, blue eyes searching his face.

 

“ I wish you wouldn't leave so often,” Kagome started. His hard, golden eyes regarded her indifferently. Kagome wondered how such a warm color could appear so cold.

 

“ If you don't like it, you could always just leave,” his baritone voice said. Kagome rolled her eyes, an old habit that refused to be forgotten, no matter how long she remained away from the twenty-first century.

 

“ Youko, you know I don't mean it like that. I just would like it if we could spend some more time together,” Kagome told Youko. He sighed through his nose.

 

“ You are so troublesome…” he murmured. Kagome's face twitched as she struggled to keep the hurt from crossing it.

 

“ I see…” Kagome gave a false smile, “ If you really need to leave, I suppose I really don't mind.” She finished. `Though I really wish you would stay and be with me, for a little while…' Youko glided over to her, looking down at her from his impressive height. He gently tilted her head up to look him in the eye.

 

“ Why does my leaving always bother you?”

 

“ It doesn't bother me, not really. I just like spending time with you,” Kagome answered. `That doesn't include sex.' Youko glanced at quizzically.

 

“ You seem to almost need me to…spend time with you,” Youko said. Kagome shrugged.

 

“ It's what humans do,” Kagome replied. Youko's eyes narrowed, and Kagome knew she had said the wrong thing.

 

“ I am not human. You know this, and yet you still insist on me acting like one, pretending I am one,” Youko said. He stepped away from her, and Kagome instantly missed his warmth. She bowed her head to hide her tears.

 

“ Yes, I suppose I am guilty of that,” Kagome said meekly. Even from her position away from him, she could feel his body relax as she accepted her mistake obediently. `I just…when was the last time we had a real conversation that didn't include this type of thing, me asking him to stay with me? When was the last time he held me? Has he ever held me? I don't think I can remember…' Kagome felt Youko's claws briefly caress her face before he moved towards the exit.

 

“ I must leave now if I am to make it to my destination on time,” Youko said. Kagome looked up into his face, watching him watch her.

 

“ Goodbye then, Youko,” Kagome told him. Youko nodded in response. He was nearly out the door when Kagome stopped. Maybe it was the way the dawning sun cast light about him, or maybe it was watching his back and getting this dark feeling growing in her stomach, but she had to tell him.

 

“ Youko, wait!” Kagome ran to his side, where he turned to regard her once more. She grasped his biceps, using them as a lever as she pushed herself on her tiptoes. She brushed her lips against his, reveling in his smooth, silky skin. She lowered herself, looking into his molten eyes.

 

“ I-I love you…and…” she peered at him through her lashes shyly, a blush coming over her face from her admission, “ and please…be careful.” Kagome said. He stared at her for awhile, his head tilted, and slowly, his eyes softened just a bit.

 

“ I will return soon. I will have a gift for you then,” He bent down and kissed her thoroughly, before making a swift exit. And Kagome stared after him, watching his form disappear into the dawn. `A gift…?'

 

OooooO

 

It was two days later when Sango came by to visit Kagome. She greeted her old friend happily, inviting her in for a hearty meal.

 

“ Kagome-chan! It's been too long since we last saw each other. How have you been doing?” Sango asked. Kagome smiled at her friend.

 

“ Yes, I am well. Please, tell me what has occurred in the village since my absence,” Kagome said. Sango folded her hands.

 

“ Well, Miroku hasn't returned yet from his journey. Inuyasha is still cooped in his forest, only coming out during attacks from demons, but the youkai have become so weak that I can take them on my own. Kaede…she died last summer. And you weren't there…” Sango glanced at Kagome almost accusingly. Kagome's shoulders slumped, and she felt her eyes tear. `How could I have not known?'

 

“ Why do you stay here? Look at you! You've become pathetic, Kagome-chan,” Kagome flinched at Sango's harsh words.

 

“ You sit there like some meek village girl, when you used to be a woman who stood up for herself. When was the last time you picked up a bow and shot a youkai?” Kagome bit her lip.

 

“ Youko doesn't like it when I fight, and he's perfectly capable of protecting me, so there's no point…” Kagome said timidly. Sango snorted.

 

“ So if he doesn't like something, you stop doing it? Will you stop breathing for him, when he decided he doesn't like you being alive anymore, Kagome? All you are is nice warm body for him. You were better off with Inuyasha,” Sango spat. Kagome shook her head in denial.

 

“ That's…That's not true. I love Youko…I'd do anything for him. And he…he feels something for me too. He's getting me a gift,” Kagome smiled softly at the thought. Sango stared at her, dumbfounded.

 

“ I don't believe it. You've fallen in love with someone who doesn't love you back. I thought you could recognize the good from the bad, Kagome-chan,” Sango sighed. The demon slayer raised hardened eyes to meet Kagome's.

 

“ Kagome. Pack your things. I'm taking you from here, and when you've healed from his abuse, you'll see how mistaken you were when you chose to go with him,” Sango said. Kagome shook her head firmly.

 

“ I can't, Sango. I have to stay here, to welcome him when he comes home,” Kagome's face become wistful.

 

“ What for? He doesn't love you! He never will!” Sango shouted. The words echoed in the cave, leaving a deafening silence in their wake.

 

“ That's not true…Youko just needs some time to develop some feelings for me. He's not like us humans,” Kagome whispered.

 

“ Kagome, he won't love you, ever! Don't you get it?” Sango asked desperately. Kagome raised her eyes to her friend's.

 

“ Get out, Sango. I don't want to talk to you anymore,” Kagome said coldly, before turning her back to the exterminator.

 

“ I don't believe this!” Sango's voice dropped as she began to mutter to herself. Before she left, she gave Kagome a few parting words.

 

“ If you ever come to your senses, you can always come back to the village. I know that you're only saying this because of his abuse,” Sango said dejectedly. As her footsteps faded, tears fell from Kagome's eyes. It really was true, no matter how hard she tried to deny it. She had fallen in love with a man, no, youkai, who didn't love her back.

 

OooooO

 

Two weeks had gone by, and Kagome became mildly concerned for Youko. If he said he would be back soon, it would have only taken a week at most. After three weeks, Youko was on Kagome's mind constantly. After a month and a half, she was rapidly losing her weight and she gone pale with mild sickness and lack of sleep. She was very worried for Youko, and wondered what was taking him. He hadn't abandoned her, had he?

 

Finally, when two months had passed, a visitor stopped by. Kagome recognized him to be one of Youko's pack, the only one who had ever shown any kind of respect towards her. At times, Kagome thought he felt sorry for her. When she was older and looking back on her life, she would see why.

 

“ Oki-san, what are you doing here?” Kagome knew if Oki had come by, he probably had news of Youko.

 

“ Kagome-san, I see you are well. I bear news of Youko-sama,” he started. Kagome's lips quirked at his blatant lie. Kagome herself knew she looked horrible.

 

“ I see,” Kagome said slowly. Oki paused before speaking. Kagome found it odd, since Oki was typically very harsh and straightforward with his words. Was the news so terrible he was perhaps thinking of a way to soften them for her human ears?

 

“ Youko-sama…he received bad information for the heist he was going to do. They were waiting for him at the vault. He…he died. It was all I could do to recover this,” Oki removed the pack that rested on his back and presented to her. With trembling fingers, Kagome pulled the ties loose, revealing a blindingly bright pelt of fur. It was silver, and when the light hit it right, streaks of light blue and white shot through the silky fur. When glancing at it's full size, Kagome realized…it was Youko's pelt. Oki had gone to the trouble of retrieving it for her.

 

“ His…body?” Kagome choked.

 

“ Burned,” was his short reply. Kagome licked her lips and nodded absently.

 

“ I…see. Thank you, Oki, for your kindness,” Kagome looked up and gave him a watery smile. His face softened, or so she thought, before he gave a goodbye and left Kagome alone with Youko's pelt and her sorrow.

 

OooooO

 

It was a battered Kagome that arrived in the ordinary village one day, a large parcel on her back, hand clutching a bow. It was a joyous and worried Sango that greeted her.

 

“ Kagome-chan! You're back!” She cried. Kagome gave a weary smile and held up the bow.

 

“ Look, Sango-chan, I learned how to shoot a bow again,” and with that the girls collapsed into a mass of crying, sobbing flesh. Sango later learned of Youko's fate, and she was kind enough to keep any harsh words inside of herself. She also learned that Youko had never expressed any kind of caring feeling towards Kagome. And it was during this time that Kagome began to heal.

 

It was months later when Kagome was fully settled into her role in the villages, picking herbs and defending its inhabitants, and it was at long last that Kagome forgot the dull ache in her chest that Youko had left. Except for at night. At night, Kagome weeped tears over his magnificent pelt, holding close, and whispering gently to it. And one night, before she could stop herself, a question slipped from her mouth.

 

“ Why didn't you ever love me?”

 

Only Sango knew of her continous sorrow, but even she was oblivious to how deep it ran. However, she sent the good news of Kagome's return to Miroku, who returned almost immediately to greet his old friend. Even Inuyasha and Shippo, who had left to live with a fox clan, came out of their seclusion to see what had once been the glue of their ragtag group. All were disappointed with the meek girl left who had taken Kagome's place, who didn't even dare scold Inuyasha when he had affectionately called her wench. Only Sango knew of the progress Kagome had made since her return from Youko's home. Sango tried to convince them of Kagome's slow recovery, but they were adamant that the old Kagome would never return. They were right.

 

It would be a very old and tired, wrinkly Sango that would step into Kagome's hut, wondering why she had yet to awaken for the day, only to see her dead in her sleep, smiling softly. And in her arms would be what could only be the pelt of the notorious Youko Kurama, the youkai who could not, would not love Kagome. Kagome's wrinkled and gnarled fingers would be in the motions of lovingly stroking the pelt, frozen forever in her sleep. And Sango would wonder.

 

`Why did she ever fall in love with him?'

 

 

OooOooOooOooOooOoo

 

Goodbye --- You have gone to the place where we can never meet again

I can't accept the coldness of the eternal parting

I wish I could have heard from you

That I had certainly been loved by you

Only once, even if it had been a lie

 

- Memorial Address, Ayumi Hamasaki