Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction / InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Par Tout Autre Nom ❯ Sweet Lies and Sweeter Truth ( Chapter 42 )

Disclaimers: Inuyasha and Yu Yu Hakusho belong respectively to Rumiko Takahashi and Yoshihiro Togashi.

A/N: Eh heh. I had a feeling I'd have to do explanations after that. ^__^; Sooo! First things first… for those of you who don't know the definition of Okaeri, or Okaeri nasai (the more polite/proper version) translates to "welcome home." Also if the situation is casual it can simply mean "welcome." It's the good manners response to Tadaimaa - "I'm back/home," but there are situations where it has a deeper meaning. I'll let you guys think whatever you'd like of that. ^.~ But suffice it to say, it's a common back and forth greeting among family members or friends returning to their homes to others who are already there. Or in other words, essentially in this context… Okaeri, Hiei = Welcome home, Hiei.

As for Yoshimi-cho and Shikoku… Quick mini lesson -whips out glasses and extendable pointer thing to gesticulate- Shikoku is one of the islands of Japan south of Honshu (the biggest chunk of land which has such major cities and prefectures as Tokyo, Kyoto, Nagano, etc) but bridges were recently developed allowing easy travel between the two as well as the smaller islands in between. Anyhow, Shikoku is famous for having its "88 Sacred Temples," and yes, Yoshimi-cho Rose Garden is a real place (but it's on Hakata-jima, which is a little island between Shikoku and Honshu that you can take the bridges to). It has a collection of all types of roses from all over the world, not just those native to Japan, but it's far from the only garden spot on the islands. Still it IS one of the spots more likely to have tourists despite Shikoku being pretty much the least visited of the major islands from a foreigner standing. -sighs and shrugs, putting pointer away- Ah well, that should be enough to insert a note of clarity before I get going on boring topics and confuse someone or give away how long it's been since I had to recall this. XD

I've had a few people leave reviews asking to use parts of my story for something they want to do themselves, but at the same time they never leave me addresses to get back to them, so I haven't been able to respond. -shrugs again- BUT~! On that same note, I got the most fabulous lovely email from autumnfire and that just had me rolling around happily even with the stupid splint. Just too uber.

<*:*IMPORTANT NOTE*:*> For those of you who might have missed it the first time around, I owe a great deal of inspiration for this story to Ookami-chan. We went to school together, and not only has she been a doll in listening to me and talking out plot-hammering, not to mention helping me edit or smooth things out that were bothering me here and there. But a MAIN point of the plot (that has yet to be completely discovered, but maaaaybe by the end of the chapter) was all her idea. She has been uber fabulous in giving me permission to use parts of it and expound it to my own devices, but in reading this, you may end up with a few spoiler concepts to the end of her story: Turnabout is Fair Play. She laughed and joked that my way of telling this story could almost be considered an alternate ending… give or take a few things of course. SO! Keep in mind that even though the rest of her chapters aren't posted yet, her version came first and I'm writing off what she came up and shared with me under her full knowledge and permission. You can even ask her, but keep in mind she was in a pretty serious accident a month ago and isn't as quick to correspond as she'd like to be.

With that being said, to all of you, my darling darling little faction-type collection of junkies, buddies, reviewers and readers… these notes are already long enough, and you've had plenty of wait while this chapter was made "just so." Now, I think it's about time you got a nice fat chunk of answers for being so sweet for so long, don't you? ^____~

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By Any Other Name

~Sweet Lies and Sweeter Truth~

Whatever Hiei had been about to say, ask, demand- hell, he didn't have the foggiest idea anymore, except to realize it had completely and totally fallen out of his head the instant those words registered in his mind. Home-? Did she just-?

Kagome splayed her fingers, her gaze falling down to his throat as she turned her palm and pressed it against the symbol before meeting his wide-eyed stare again to smile gently, "It only hurts if you push against it, Hiei. It's already inside you, a part of you. If you don't accept it openly, the process is more difficult."

"What's a part of me?" Hiei demanded, latching onto the distraction gratefully when that wave of weakness flowed through him again, forcing him to walk back until he could brace himself against the wall or else fall flat on his face. "You know what's happening, miko, what have you done-?"

"Shh, easy," Kagome lifted her other hand to press a finger to his lips and stop him as soon as his voice started to take a panicked edge. "Relax or I'll have to call Sesshoumaru in here, and he doesn't have much leniency with this part. Trust me, you'll enjoy it more if I'm the one walking you through."

He started to open his mouth again, brows drawing low in a scowl when she let out a sigh and leaned forward to rest her forehead against his. Hiei tried to jerk backwards, smacking the back of his head on the wall in an abrupt reminder of his position as that steady wave turned into more of a tingle, "Miko-!"

"You saw it."

Confusion took over when she straightened, her oddly glazed eyes taking on a more melancholy feel that was giving him the most bizarre urge to comfort her when a jolt of pain snapped along his spine. Sucking in a gasp as his body went rigid, realization hit him fast and hard just as the images came flooding back. The voices, the blood, the fighting, the pain-

Hiei stayed on his feet stubbornly, gritting his teeth hard as his eyes flashed red, glowing darkly with the conflict of emotions as Kagome turned to face away from him, one hand sweeping the heavy curtain of hair over her shoulder. The pulse returned, slow and deep as the plain white gi seemed to ripple across her back in unison and began to hiss very softly, as though something was burning through it from the inside.

The play of muscle and material was strangely hypnotic, holding his attention as her hands worked where he couldn't see to loosen the sash. One last tug finally offered enough slack for the gi to spill down around her waist with a simple shrug, baring the full length of her back to his stunned gaze.

"Without the Jagan, it might not have been so intense for you, but you're the first youkai with such strong manipulation and mental control that I've touched. I wasn't prepared," Kagome's voice reached his ears, some distant part of his brain processing the words even through the shock holding him frozen in place at the revelation of this full version of the intricate symbols he'd come to know fairly well in the past two days. "I could feel your soul relive it with me, that's why I had to wake you so quickly. Under normal circumstances, I would have let you rest until the worst of things had passed."

"Normal circumstances?" his voice sounded foreign to his own ears despite the way the pulse had begun to settle, smoothing out to a low vibration and sending strength rushing back through his limbs with each beat. Wake me… then that was Kagome reaching out to me? Drawing me up out of the pain?

But even those thoughts were gone when the pulse changed until he could feel it chasing across the circle on her back, making the patterns glow and flicker like drops over a pond, and his hand tensed against the urge to push away from the wall and reach out to touch it.

Kagome chuckled softly, slanting him a look over her shoulder as her eyes flashed deep indigo-blue, "You think I make a habit of blowing up and getting smashed into rocks by hybrid apparitions?" Be patient. Rushing yourself will only make it worse.

Hiei blinked, focus shifting back to her eyes as the dry tone caught up to him and brought a sardonic snort from his throat as he processed both comments, "Point taken."

"The only time I've ever had a reaction like that before, it turned into a disaster," she sighed, shaking her head as her gaze turned inward, flashing through things he couldn't see. "Accidentally, I mean. It was in a fight like that too, and he was trying to protect me," she trailed off into uncomfortable silence.

But even without hearing her speak, there was still something…

He winced and lifted his hand to his throat, brows lowering at the wash of cold energy that snaked down around his heart before dissipating, as she seemed to rouse out of her trance, That was… her sorrow? I felt her pain?

"That won't always be how it is," Kagome's voice dragged him out of his own internal thoughts in surprise to see that same faintly apologetic smile on her face. "Right now everything is up on the surface, so we're passing things over the connection more easily. I try not to stay open like that unless I have to, or if I'm making sure."

"Making sure of what?" Hiei tilted his head, regarding her with open curiosity, his eyes continuously returning to her back. Stay open? What connection?

"Making sure your mind wasn't affected by touching mine," she tapped a finger against her temple. "I had you long enough to pass on the brand. My brand. But I won't bring you into the family unless you're strong enough to hold your sanity."

His hand lifted, covering the smaller rendition of that mark with his palm as understanding flashed through his eyes, "Your brand-? But then… Sesshoumaru isn't the head of this family-?" It's her? Kagome is the head of a youkai organization? She controls the Western Lord-?!

"Don't get ahead of yourself there, hybrid," Kagome grinned and let out a laugh, making a dismissive gesture with her hand as she gathered the edge of the gi loosely in the other to preserve her modesty and turned back to face him. "Sesshoumaru is, was, and always will be the head of the family. Without him, there would be nothing, regardless of whether or not he's the one doing this marking."

"Then why this? What's the distinction for the brand? And why do you claim it?" Hiei shook his head in a show that he didn't understand, inwardly practically bursting with delighted curiosity at so exclusively being offered the answers they sought.

"Because that mark is one that only I can give, my choice," she responded before frowning and regarding him silently for a long moment, holding his eyes as he patiently waited. Something flashed through her eyes faster than he could catch and she let out a heavy sigh, "Before I tell you any more, Hiei, you have to understand one thing above all else."

"Which is?" he folded his arms over his chest, arching his eyebrow in question.

"That the secrets within this family are more important than any other alliances and friendships you have," her expression had changed, displaying a grave severity that he hadn't thought the miko had truly been capable of. "The choice is still yours right now, but I'm only going to tell you once that if you accept my offer, then what you find out from me can only be discussed with others of our kind."

"Our kind, miko?" the brow arched higher.

"Family," her lips curved up in a taunting smile, tapping her fingertip meaningfully against her throat where the symbol manifested on the others he'd seen. "What did you think I was going to say?"

"I had no idea," he shrugged and looked away for a moment, trying to banish the odd sensation that she had been well aware that he had suspected she would admit some form of youkai heritage. "Sesshoumaru already told me that I would only get my answers if I kept your secrets to myself, even from my closest… friends. I kept up my end of the bargain, Kagome, and you branded me. I think that shows I have a right to hear what I want to know."

Kagome sighed and braced her hip on the edge of the couch, lips twitching in amusement as she observed, "I have to admit, you're definitely not helping me disprove Shippou's theories about the pattern."

Hiei frowned at that vague generalization, "Pattern?"

"Arrogant, over-bearing, demanding, probably sadistic, even a little evil," she tapped her forefinger against her chest again for each point without releasing her hold on the gi. "It seems like every youkai that can hold their mind together after I'm through with them has to fit in with a few similar traits. Shippou attributes it to my `lousy taste in men,' since he suspects I have more control over who can and can't survive."

"You do seem fond of Kurama," he couldn't resist taking the moment to see exactly how she responded to poking fun at the kitsune.

Kagome let out a sigh of long-suffering, keeping her expression serious and even slightly pained as she nodded, "You see what I mean? Shameful."

Hiei grinned and started to chuckle, relaxing his stance more at the obvious sign that she seemed to share in the same wicked humor he'd hoped she would indulge in, "Perhaps there is hope still if you already openly admit to your failings."

Her eyes were sparkling brightly as she refolded the gi and absently tied the sash to free her hands, "The general consensus amongst the family seems to involve various parts of his body being displayed independently from the rest of him, but I rather like Kurama all in one piece."

"How heart-breaking."

"Sesshoumaru thinks so."

Hiei smiled at the dryness that crept into that remark, suggesting that Kurama was a point of considerable arguments between the miko and taiyoukai, to say nothing of the rest of the males in the family, "I can well imagine. Inu breeds are well known for being more possessive than average youkai, and less tolerant of the behavior kitsune are known for enjoying."

"Don't remind me," Kagome raked a hand through her hair as she turned and walked towards the window. "Everyone I've brought into our family on my own really should be wearing some sort of warning. `Unable to coexist peacefully with others, heads will roll,'" she made a sweeping gesture with her hand as though reading the words across a sign. "Still, we are very serious in protecting our own, and I do nothing to discourage taking whatever measures are necessary if the situation calls for it. So I guess that goes for me as much as it does them."

He couldn't stop the disbelieving snort, "You?"

Kagome half-turned to regard him again, this time letting a more enigmatic smile cross her lips as she sat back on the window sill, tucking one knee up to her chest, "If you know anything of Sesshoumaru, you're aware how little use he had for humans until the time came that it became necessary to mingle. Even now, he still limits his dealings with them to the few he believes have proven themselves worthy and have a… passing intelligence and skill. Do you think I would be as close to him as I am if I wasn't different even from other humans in the way I think? Behave?"

"You are different from a `regular' human, miko, I've seen your power for myself," Hiei reminded her, more than willing to let the conversation wrap back around to the serious tone she seemed ready to take on.

"Have you?"

Something in her voice had him going quiet, straightening his posture under a frission of suspicion that sent an odd tightness through his stomach, "Have I?"

Kagome averted her face from those piercing scarlet eyes, resting her forehead on the glass to stare out at the trees giving the house an illusion of solitude and undisturbed nature, "You saw the purification skills that I was born with, and I know they're probably stronger than anything you've ever seen but that's really the least of my powers. You felt the rest of them, even if you didn't know it at the time. What came to me after what you saw and experienced in my mind when you were knocked unconscious."

Hiei regarded her for a moment, trying to figure out just what the full meaning behind her words could be, what he was supposed to hear, "What do you mean that I `felt it?' What did you do to me?" The "rest of them" what? And what blending? What am I missing?

Her head stayed in that position, but her gaze shifted back to him as her lips quirked in a humorless smile, "You had been trying to protect me when the explosion hit, whether you meant to do so or not. I probably would have been able to hold back if you hadn't done that, but we both would have been hurt to some extent. And I decided I would rather hide inside you, make you stronger to help end the fight to show you how much your efforts impressed me."

Hiei jerked in alarm at that, instinctively stepping back and closing his hand over the hilt of his katana in a defensive stance when a thin ribbon of energy flared to life around her wrist, "What the hell?" Hide… inside me? She can't possibly be suggesting that she was-?

Kagome blew out a heavy breath, curling her fingers up and letting the flash of magic snake to the tips in a nearly blinding streak, "The Shikon-no-Tama is not what you were led to believe it to be."

The words barely penetrated when he was lifted off his feet and pinned up against the wall behind him as she slid off the sill with fluid grace and came back to stand in front of him with that same calm stare. Hiei could feel his right arm being lifted against his will, straining uselessly against the unseen force as it dragged his hand up and out towards hers until their palms were pressed together. He sucked in a sharp gasp, eyes filling with alarm when he felt her skin heat where they touched, passing along the sensation until it spread up into his wrist.

"What are you doing to-?" Hiei started to demand when her palm gave off the same pulse he'd felt through his soul ever since the brand had appeared. Nearly growling in his frustration at being helpless to such bizarre control, he stubbornly increased his efforts to twist and pull away while her skin paled to iridescent white and seemed to blur against his.

Kagome watched his face intently for any signs, any lost control as she felt the resistance against her hand soften the moment her soul matched the rhythm of his own, expanding and sliding into him with a deeper pulse. When his eyes remained clear, she breathed out a relieved sigh and reached forward slowly letting her hand absorb into him an inch at a time, "You were unconscious. But you felt it happen to me. When Inuyasha was fighting and accidentally made that wish, the one the jewel answered. You heard it speaking to me, and you heard what I said back. You heard exactly what it was, what it wanted to become."

Hiei's mouth fell open, drawing in a shaky gasp when his youki began to rise, multiplying at a staggering rate the more she seemed to be pressing into him, That- that voice? Was the jewel? I was playing Kagome's part in the memory?

Kagome leaned forward, pitching her voice to a soft murmur in respect for the way she knew his senses were heightening as her hand sunk farther into his soul. Drawing at the youki hungrily to smooth away the holes her intrinsic purification made in her own, she stubbornly held back against the whispering urge to take that step forward and slip inside him completely, "That was the first time it really spoke to me in that way, the first time the souls mingled together to reach me. It never had a need to grow a voice like that until it was ripped out of me."

More flashes rushed through his mind, the bandana burning away under the sudden flush of jyaki from the Jagan, feeling it eagerly narrow and clarify the images being fed into them from her mind. He could see a young hanyou pinned to a tree, a dark shape rushing at him, and just as rapidly felt a searing pain in his side as fangs tore into the flesh. Something echoed inside his head all the way from the depths of his soul, letting out a scream of pain and fury as it was ripped away from him, leaving him numb and disoriented until the force of the strike flung him empty and weak to the ground.

"We hated that youkai first," Kagome's voice changed, snapping him out of the memory and drawing his attention back to the fact that he was still pressed into the wall with her arm seeming to vanish almost clear to her elbow into his hand. He tried to pull back as he watched the images reflect through her eyes, glowing eyes while that inhuman white continued to spread up her arm and out along the rest of her skin. "She took advantage while we were sleeping peacefully and separated us from our miko so violently, but she made us realize that we would never be safe. That creatures just like her could feel us, smell us, and would always try to hunt us out for themselves. You understand that feeling, don't you, hybrid? Being hunted? You know why we did what we did to make sure we could not be parted from her again."

To be hunted? Hiei's chest heaved under his gulping attempts to fill his lungs with much-needed air. Any thief understands that, but what-? Kagome has the jewel still? It returned to her? But... what does it mean saying us?

"The Shikon-no-Tama was vulnerable as a jewel, too easily stolen or broken, and too easy for some worthless idiot to get delusions of grandeur as soon as it was in their hands," she slowly leaned back as soon as she noticed just how much more jyaki she had pulled out of him, the way it was waking the darker parts inside her and tugging at her aura to lower her inhibitions on it. Pushing the whispers back with practiced care, she drew her arm out until she could solidify enough to lace her fingers together with his and squeeze until he met her gaze, "The stories I was told, what everyone knew… we didn't suspect it was alive, or think to question that it was capable of planning. But it was just gathering strength, waiting for one of us to say the words it wanted to hear to open up a path back to me."

"It attacked you," Hiei whispered, awe-struck by the way his youki so abruptly retracted with the extraction of her hand. The dull, empty ache left in its passing almost exactly mimicking the feeling he'd experienced after that bite in the shared recall.

Kagome shook her head, gripping his hand tighter as a shudder wracked her body under the effort it took to suppress the renewed urge to sink into him and more fully blend with his youki, "Not exactly." Not yet… the choice is still his to make.

"Are you all right?" he frowned at the sudden pallor in her face, catching himself when he was released from the restraining force in time to stop her from dropping to the floor. "Miko-!"

"It's normal," she assured him, gritting her teeth when the metallic taste of her own blood hit her tongue. "I just have to readjust any time I draw in that much unbalanced jyaki, and it's not the most pleasant feeling but I can handle it."

"What do you mean unbalanced jyaki?" Hiei lifted her off her feet effortlessly and carried her to the couch, setting her down with more care than he would thought himself capable. He brushed that off, stepping back and crouching down to be closer to her eye-level as he waited tensely for her to recover from that bizarre fluctuation in her aura.

"What else?" Kagome gave him a lopsided smile before a grimace chased it away, one hand pressing to her heart in reflex to the almost deafening pounding. "Youkai that I haven't jumped into before and purified to match exactly with my soul, the ones who still have nothing but youki and jyaki tangling together and fighting inside them. That's why youkai go wild you know, upsets in their internal balances." She wiped the back of her hand across her lips and made a face at the thin line of blood that smeared over the skin, quickly poking the vines still unwilling to release her forearm, "Don't you tell Kurama about this or I'll make you sit with Souta for a week."

"It's impossible to purify a demon without killing them, miko," Hiei prodded to get her attention back on him when the vines stirred and seemed ready to start their protests. He flashed it a quick glare with a reinforcement to exclude Kurama from their discussion and refrain from distracting the miko it had attached itself to before it had even begun to rear up in displeasure.

Kagome shook her head again in denial to his statement, gingerly dabbing the corner of her mouth until she gave up on that and pressed her sleeve against it, "Shouldn't that be the last thing you say to me after I just practically put half my arm in you without any of the standard burning and destruction that youkai are supposed to experience from miko power?"

"I've seen stranger things," he folded his arms, chin kicking up in an automatic display of arrogance. "Now you said that the Shikon-no-Tama didn't attack you, so what do you call what I felt happen?" If I'm right, that was the jewel, the pain and the blood… it shattered when it struck her back. Where did it go?

"The jewel was incomplete at the time, but most of the shards had been recovered by a really nasty hanyou named Naraku. We all thought it would have to have all its pieces before it would hear a wish," Kagome's jaw tightened in self-directed disgust over the naïve beliefs she had once held. "Hell, now that I look back, I have no idea what we all thought would happen after it was restored. All the legends and rumors ever said was that the jewel increased a youkai's power if they were to absorb it, but it would disappear completely with a selfless wish."

"But that wasn't how it worked," Hiei observed when she muttered a few darker curses under her breath, trying to bring her back out of her self-deprecating memories to continue giving him the story he wanted to hear.

"Sesshoumaru was the one who was right about it," she nodded to show he'd guessed right. "Unfortunately we weren't exactly on full speaking terms with him until after the damage was already done, and even then, he only really spoke with me. But that's not important now, not to what you want to know. Just that he said we only knew as much as the jewel wanted us to know, and it's not like we ever doubted our information."

"And what was your information?" Hiei fisted his hands against the urge to grab her in his excitement to get the truth.

"I was born with it inside me," her hand lowered to press against the scar, making Hiei's eyes widen in renewed amazement. "So everyone figured it was just a sign I'd been reincarnated from the last miko who was cremated with it. I never really questioned if that explanation was true, not the right way to get answers anyway, and none of my friends thought it could be that the jewel made me around itself instead."

"The legends did mention a guardian of the jewel," Hiei rocked back on his heels, his mind racing at all the implications in her words. Made around-? The Shikon-no-Tama created a miko for itself? To protect itself?

Kagome shrugged carelessly, showing him that she'd come to terms with everything she was passing on to him long enough ago to have no difficulties retelling what she knew, "I was the guardian. And it would have been happy to stay in me like that, sleeping while I guarded, but it was pissed off that someone tore it out of me. So it decided to get stronger and then make sure that it couldn't happen to us again." It decided that the only way to prevent it was to make sure there was no "jewel," nothing that could be removed.

Hiei started to ask for more clarification when everything he'd seen and heard suddenly clicked into place, making his eyes flash bright scarlet as he jerked back instinctively under the wave of incredulity, "You're the Shikon-no-Tama." But that's impossible! And- wait, if it is true, then what really happened to us? That day, when I was unconscious-?

"The Shikon-no-Tama decided it wanted to be able to choose -that I choose, who is worthy of carrying it, and we decided to give you a spin so to speak. See how we liked the feel of your youki from the inside," she wiped the sleeve over her mouth once more to be sure the blood was gone before gesticulating absently with her hand.

"You… were inside me," he repeated, taking in a very precise breath as his mind tried to wrap itself around the unexpected answer.

Kagome leaned forward, dipping her head to catch his eyes as she reached out to cup his cheek and explain, "Why do you think I knew how to control energy the way I did? Your attacks might be damn impressive, Hiei, but trust me, it's cake to handle compared to being fused with an artifact like the jewel and having to learn how to control having entire hoards of youkai souls bonded to mine."

"But the legends are from centuries ago," Hiei's eyes narrowed on her face. She can't be the same… it's not possible. Unless she's-

"I didn't say I survived it," Kagome smiled at him as she retracted her hold, keeping her answer vague enough for now to steer him away from that line of thinking. No need to overload him any more than necessary before his soul completely settled past the point of danger, "I mentioned that I was fifteen before I realized I even had miko powers, remember?"

He continued to stare at her, searching her face until his shoulders slowly relaxed under the honesty he could feel in those words and he focused his thoughts to include her, Then… the accident they mention from time to time. It caused everything to resurface, your memories of the jewel, and your miko blood.

"Imagine my surprise," Kagome dipped her head.

"Sesshoumaru is the master of the jewel, and that's why the two of you are so close?" Hiei sat back to be more comfortable, folding his arms over his chest as he tried to withdraw from her mind enough to work at putting all these bits and pieces in their place amidst the bigger picture.

"Sesshoumaru is my master-carrier, for lack of a better term, my partner," Kagome's nose wrinkled, imagining the look on his face if he heard her actually refer to him as her master in any way. "I need him more than you can possibly understand right now, just to live and keep control. He's the only youkai strong enough to hold all of me as long as he wants without losing his mind. Kouga is close, but even he starts to feel it if I'm inside him for too long."

"How many people do you jump into?" he glanced up, carelessly brushing his fingertips across the mark to feel it hum now that he knew the source.

"Not everyone who has a mark can take that kind of contact from me, so less than you're imagining. So far, I've only successfully been carried by seven who lived through the experience, five youkai, one hanyou, and one human," she closed her eyes for a moment, unable to stop the tender smile from crossing her lips at the memory of Miroku's visit. "All male, so it's obvious the jewel has certain preferences."

"Your husband was the human," Hiei straightened with a decisive nod, mentally trying to pinpoint each one with the creatures he'd seen branded himself. "When he was alive."

Kagome's eyes shot open with a start, brows lifting and sitting forward so quickly her hair tumbled forward over her shoulders, "You know about my husband?! How did you-? When did-?"

"The wolf told us," he smirked at the look of surprise on her face as it melted to confusion over that source. "I doubt he realized it at the time, but he mentioned after you were dragged off by your overzealous family that your husband would have liked Kurama if he'd been alive. Something about being a fellow pervert?"

She blinked and tried to hide her giggle behind her hand, "Actually, that's true, even if my husband would deny it. But I don't understand, Kurama has known that I was married before ever since you met Kouga?"

Oh he's going to owe me for giving him this, Hiei kept that thought private as he nodded. "He said he thought you'd tell him about it when you were ready, but it didn't change how he felt about you or his intentions," he didn't look particularly happy to be passing along the message, but the thoughtful look on Kagome's face suggested the kitsune was going to be at his mercy for this favor for a good long while. "I'm right, aren't I? Your husband was the human."

Distracted by the unexpected stirrings of warmth inside her soul, Kagome lightly brushed her fingers down the vines around her arm and tried to stave off the rising blush, "Yes, he was the only human who managed it. Even Sesshoumaru was impressed with his control."

"Then I met the fifth… in Makai," Hiei's eyes gleamed as drew her away from thoughts of Kurama, much more interested in her reaction to what he was about to say. "He had the mark, and he said you would know him… to tell you that his last rage would look like tea party if you didn't get your ass down to see him."

Kagome blinked, mouth falling open and mind blanking as she snapped up to focus on him completely, "Inuyasha? You saw Inuyasha in Makai?"

"Is he Sesshoumaru's son?" he reached out and rested his hand on her knee at the thrum of unease echoing through him, no longer questioning the odd compulsion he felt to comfort her as long as he could get answers for why. Inuyasha, that was the name from the memory, one of the other voices in the fight. He's the one who made the wish, the one that fused her with the jewel.

"Oh good gods no!" Kagome burst out laughing at the thought, holding up both her hands as though physically warding off the suggestion. "And don't say that around either of them either, they'd eat you. Inuyasha is Sesshoumaru's half-brother, he used to be a hanyou, and trust me those two are on speaking terms by the barest thread of civility." She paused, frowning slightly as she remarked more to herself, "At least… they still were before I left. They might be better now. Or worse. It can be touch and go whenever you mix their egos together in a confined space."

"Then he wished on the jewel to be a youkai?" Hiei couldn't stop the slight disdainful curl of his lip, only too familiar with childish desires to be a pureblooded creature in the face of the way they were viewed. His childhood must have been hell… if he's Sesshoumaru's brother he has to be centuries old himself, and that time wasn't kind to mixing blood.

"Actually, not… really," Kagome dragged out reluctantly, reaching up to slide her hand into her hair nervously as she slanted her eyes off to the side. "That was an accident, and we didn't realize it had happened until Sesshoumaru pulled me out of him. The other times he'd lost control, he changed back to his normal body, but… I didn't have control at the beginning the way I do now." I didn't even understand what happened that first time, and neither did he. We almost went insane.

"What do you mean?" he'd shifted forward to awkwardly cover the hand in her lap with one of his own before he realized he'd moved, making a face at the strengthening urge to smooth away the pain in her eyes.

If she felt his discomfort at his emotions, she didn't show it as he felt the unique experience of his youki being gently pulled out of him to mingle with her aura until it calmed, "He and I were an explosive mix, and to some extent it was a good thing. It helped us win an important fight before our friends could be killed. But after it was over, his soul wouldn't release me." Sesshoumaru had to rip me out by force, and even then he was fighting to keep me inside.

Hiei's brows lifted in surprise when he caught that thought, barely stopping himself from asking for details when a ripple of pain snaked down along his ribs from behind. Gritting his teeth with a hiss, his spine arched until the feeling passed, watching Kagome's eyes flash a bright, electric blue to prove that she was feeding him pieces of the memory that she was willing to share.

"Sesshoumaru handled it," she repeated flatly, letting the pain recede until he slumped forward in relief. He caught himself with one hand to hold steady until his strength returned as she reiterated, "And it was just an accident."

Panting slightly, he nodded to show he was willing to back down from that subject, swallowing against the constriction in his throat to ask, "Who else… carries you?"

"A hanyou I was forced to absorb," Kagome turned her face aside, the tense line of her jaw displaying her distaste for the answer before the moment passed and she faced him straight on. "He… was evil, nothing I could do would have changed that. And now I can jump into you too."

Hiei jerked back, "What?"

Kagome's brow arched, "What the hell else did you think I meant by telling you that you're part of the family? Or why Sesshoumaru trusted you to keep our secrets? I was inside you, Hiei, and correct me if I'm wrong, but you haven't gone on any homicidal rampages in the past two days, have you?"

"Actually… I've felt pretty good," he murmured vaguely, reaching up to rub the back of his head as he admitted to the uncharacteristic sensation. This… this can't be right. I'm a carrier?

"That's actually why I'm the one who needed to speak with you," Kagome leaned back on the sofa, gliding her hand through her hair and sighing and holding it still when the rose squeaked and relocated to its favorite spot. Rolling her eyes when she felt it start to separate pieces of her hair to braid, she propped her elbow on the arm of the sofa and continued, "Right now, you have two options open to you."

His brows furrowed in confusion, "What do you mean?"

"I mean that the real reason Sesshoumaru told you to come here today was that there's a certain- ah, I'd say gestation period but that sounds wrong," Kagome made a face. "Essentially, when a youkai takes in the Shikon-no-Tama, their power increases. Even after I leave, part of me is still holding part of you," she reached out and tapped her finger to the brand at his throat. "A piece of your soul taken from right here."

Hiei's hand came up to cover the mark in reflex, "A piece-?"

"Of your soul," she nodded and completed the aborted sentence. "That's the problem. I'm unbalancing your levels of youki and taking in the darkest parts of you to wrap around an artifact that thrives off whatever energy is closest to it. Evil source, the souls' influence gets stronger and they try to absorb it. Pure source, and I start burning parts away with purification. If it can't balance, and if the youkai can't adjust without giving into the presence of the souls…" I have to absorb it. It's too dangerous to take the risk that they'll try to take us for themselves in their need for power. We thrive in consuming those corrupted souls, making them part of us to be tortured by the others for the entirety of our existence.

"Then why have carriers at all?" Hiei tilted his head to one side in genuine curiosity. Why take the risk?

Kagome's smile held a touch of self-mockery, "Because regardless of what I am now, I was still a miko first, and the Shikon-no-Tama was inside me for fifteen years. Even if I didn't know it was there, it was still mixing itself with the magic in my soul, feeding all of itself into me. Before I was trained to control myself, the raw purification that I was capable of shocked everyone I came in contact with. No matter how intense the jyaki or strong the barrier, I could get through it or dissolve it usually without even thinking about it."

A soft sound of understanding escaped him, "Including the jewel."

Kagome nodded, "You see the problem."

"You started to purify yourself."

"My husband was the one who figured out that to counteract that, I had to have a balance of youki," Kagome clasped her hands together in her lap, tucking one knee up to her chest habitually. "And the only way to get that-"

"Is to absorb it from your carriers," he smirked at having come to the correct conclusion.

"Too much youki and I start- well, devouring everything around me with youki in it for lack of a better term," she shrugged as she tried to put the description of what she did into the right words. "The youkai that were trapped inside the jewel get agitated and kick into defensive mode now that they've come up with a `life' that they enjoy. They fight to protect it. But if I have too little, my soul starts to burn itself up because my miko powers are too strong for the souls inside me to stand against."

And I thought Kurama had it bad, Hiei winced slightly, keeping that thought to himself. But he opened the path enough to pass along, I never thought I would meet someone with a more difficult composition than myself.

Kagome giggled and made a dismissive gesture with her hand, "Half and half isn't so bad when you think about it. Granted, I could see that didn't have a good time of it when you were younger, but you're still a full youkai. I can name a number of hanyous who would have killed to be what you are before the standards started to change."

"Perspective is everything it seems," he remarked dryly. "Why is it so difficult to find appropriate carriers? What makes it work?" Why couldn't I feel anything before?

"For one thing, don't start thinking I'm `all powerful' or something ridiculous like that," she made a face slightly at the idea. "By myself I'm really not much of an opponent, except for my miko powers. I don't pretend I'm a great fighter, but if I'm in a tight spot, I can defend myself long enough to get help or absorb into whatever's around me for a last resort. But once I'm inside someone with youki that I can use, it's a different story… I enhance power that's already there."

Hiei frowned, "You need a youkai to access your power? Any youkai?"

"In a pinch, it doesn't matter that much to me if they're already attacking me, but Sesshoumaru is my best example of how it's actually supposed to work," Kagome lifted one hand to lightly brush her fingertips over her shoulder, feeling the crescent warm to her touch. "He was already about as close to being perfectly balanced as a youkai can get, and his level of control is ridiculous. He never wanted or needed the jewel to be stronger, he even thought it was disgusting that others needed it to increase their power."

"That's not surprising," Hiei arched an eyebrow, fully able to picture the taiyoukai saying exactly that.

Kagome's lips quirked at the memories and continued when he gestured subconsciously for more, "Being who and what he is, we made a partnership. He can blend together with me completely, and no matter how long I'm inside him or how much power I feed into him, he never has the slightest trouble pulling me out whenever he wants."

"And that's a problem."

"It can be," she blew out a sigh, raking her hand through her hair as much as she could. "After a point, the youkai I'm inside won't want to let go for one reason or another. It's harder on me if they won't release me willingly, and it takes more energy to get out by force, not to mention the other souls go nuts."

The thought of a hoard of youkai going ballistic from inside a miko girl-turned enhancing artifact was enough to make him frown sharply and she laughed again before offering, "Not a pretty picture is it?"

"It's a disturbing suggestion," Hiei acknowledged.

"It's worse to see it happen, trust me," Kagome folded her arm on top of her upraised knee. "It was only once, but if Sesshoumaru hadn't been there, the gods only know what would have become of it."

"You mentioned that I have a choice now that I have… carried you," he paused over the unfamiliar use of that word. "What did you mean?"

"That's simple," her eyes flashed a deeper blue with her amusement. "The first option is that you accept me, and that you can use what I am without ill-effects. You join the family and become one of the protectors of the Shikon-no-Tama where you'll, of course, be expected to answer to Sesshoumaru and adhere to the same rules as the rest of us. That also means that our lands are yours. You'll always have a home with us, and you're welcome to all of our information and assets if you need them.

"The other option is that you decide you don't want this kind of lifestyle," she held up two fingers to illustrate the second offer even as her expression shifted back into grave severity. "At this point in the process, I can restore the piece I've taken, remove the brand, and essentially erase everything that's happened to you since I first entered your soul. Whatever your choice is though, it has to be final. Stay or go, it's your decision, but if you decide you want to be a part of us, your life will change."

Hiei was absolutely certain that if a portal to Makai had ripped open right in front of him and poured out every denizen of the lowest dregs, he wouldn't have so much as batted an eyelash. Staring in dumbfounded amazement at the girl watching him as though she had all the time and patience in all three realms to wait for him to digest the bombshell she'd just dropped into his lap.

Which was probably for the best, considering he had absolutely no idea how long he sat there staring at her blankly until he heard his voice breaking the stillness, "Join your family?"

"Equal parts pro and con, that."

Hiei blinked, a hesitant smile starting to twitch at the corner of his mouth, "I wouldn't be able to kill Takashima."

"You can try and hide it under training, but Jaken is right, Shippou's got a harder head than some youkai twice his age," Kagome tapped her own head as she spoke. "Kitsunes, you know. Very resilient breed."

"Unfortunately," he dipped his head in agreement. She's serious about this…

"I don't joke about important things of this nature," she let her foot drop back to the floor to make it easier for her to lean forward and cup his chin, tugging his face up to meet her eyes again. "But don't think you could be lazy or skulk about in the background, you'd be treated the same as the rest of the family. That includes stocking up on a few more kimonos for when we have formal dinners at the compound. Sesshoumaru insists on dress codes for all our private get-togethers."

"I wondered about that," he murmured thoughtfully, recalling the way everyone he had seen around the old-fashioned grounds in the woods had been dressed. Family…

"You still couldn't tell your friends though," Kagome rose to her feet, letting her hand slide off his face and spark his youki along her senses. "Not yet."

Hiei's eyes widened for a moment before narrowing shrewdly when he caught the way she self-consciously reached up to touch the end of the vine sneaking around her throat, "Kurama. You don't want Kurama to know." Why?

Kagome turned to glance down at him over her shoulder with a pained smile, "I've never met a youkai who didn't know what I was, didn't know about everything. And I- I like him."

His brows shot up, eyes flashing in realization at the shadowed look the chased across her face, "You like him."

A faint hint of a blush touched her cheeks as she nervously returned to the window, trailing her fingers down the curtains to keep them busy as she tried to expound on that, "I don't know how much, but something about him… Would he behave differently if he knew that pursuing me would bring him to the secrets of the jewel?" What if I want to keep him? And if he knew, could I ever be sure that it wasn't just that power that he wanted to be connected to?

Hiei slowly rolled to his feet, watching her as more of the pieces started to fall into place with the shared insecurity, "You want him to choose you before he knows what having such a close place in your life would earn him."

She nodded a single time, "Kurama… I would be lying if I didn't admit that I like being with him, or that I'm attracted to him more deeply than anyone I've met since I lost my husband." Kagome shook her head and turned to lean her shoulder against the class with a faraway expression, "But Sesshoumaru is right. I need to be sure of his intentions, just as much as I need to be sure of my own before I risk my emotions on him."

Holy gods, that idiot kitsune is actually succeeding, Hiei lifted his hand to cover his mouth in case it betrayed the sudden flash of amusement. "You are thinking of him seriously," he let a note of question slip into his tone, trying for verification.

Her lips tightened for a moment in a show of her internal indecision, "I don't know. To be honest, I'm half afraid that I just know he wouldn't be satisfied to be anything but an amazing lover, and want to play with him after I haven't had anyone since I returned. But if he's serious, if he meant what he first said to me, he's looking for someone to have children with."

It was even harder not to burst into laughter, folding his arms over his chest as he regarded the miko trying to talk out her own confusing emotions, Oh this is fucking priceless. She's thinking of him for a casual partner when he's the one looking for a commitment? Youko is going to have fits.

"It wouldn't be fair to lead him on if I don't want him that way," Kagome shrugged, unaware of the private thoughts running through his head, or the rather sadistic glee growing with every word out of her mouth. "And we haven't had a chance for more than a handful of `dates,' not to mention how often they're chaperoned or interrupted. We obviously know there's chemistry, but we need more time to get to know each other."

This obsession is never going to go away, Hiei bit down hard on his tongue as he started to plot the best way to casually reveal Kagome's thoughts to the kitsune. Gods, she really is going to be the perfect one for him. She's beating him at his own game without even realizing that she's playing.

"-s why I want him to come with me," she continued on. "It's a trip I have to make for a few reasons, even though I want to try and relax too. But there's no way in hell Sesshoumaru will let me go alone. Close confines is the best way to find out if we can stand each other's company over extended periods rather than just a few hours here and there that turn into making out like high-schoolers." Her brow furrowed, "So long as he doesn't get called away, that is." Or I get called, for that matter.

"I can promise that I'll do everything in my power to see to it that you don't need to worry about that," Hiei offered with an enthusiasm that had Kagome eyeing him in surprise. "I'll make sure that he's covered on our end." There is no way I'm passing up the chance to see him make an even bigger ass of himself than he already has by trying to get his way.

Kagome blinked and tilted her head, "You can do that?"

"Absolutely," his chin turned up arrogantly. "Unless it's an inescapable emergency, I can do that idiot kitsune's job just as well as he can." And with Koenma unable to direct us towards everything sparking his paranoia, our missions for Reikai have become more efficient lately.

The smile that earned him from the miko was absolutely dazzling, "Thank you. I can't exactly complain about a `drop everything and run' set of responsibilities when I'm in a pretty similar situation myself. But it's still inconvenient for trying to feel out a relationship."

"So I'm told," Hiei smirked.

"Don't think I don't know that you're laughing your head off right now," Kagome slanted him a dry look.

"Wouldn't dream of it."

"I'm fluent in nuances of youkai expression, you know," her eyes flashed a brighter blue with her own lightening mood. "Especially scowling. Side-effect to spending a large portion of my life inside a taiyoukai like Sesshoumaru."

"I thought it would have more to do with being able to get inside our heads," his eyebrow kicked up with a return of curiosity. Literally.

Kagome made a dismissive gesture with one hand, "I prefer giving you privacy in your thoughts unless it's necessary to make a connection, and normally I have to have some time of skin-to-skin contact to spill over a little. You're the one with the head-trick specialty making the pathways more defined."

"Good to know," Hiei shrugged, turning his senses inward to search out any obvious changes for a moment now that he'd been given a confirmation that she wasn't reading all of his thoughts.

Kagome chuckled softly at the look of concentration on his face and reminded him, "I told you, Hiei, I can't alter what powers are already there. I enhance them. Rumors that the jewel giving its holders unimaginable gifts spread because of the way we bring latent abilities to light, little things they usually haven't even realized they have."

"Does it remain? Even after you're on your own like this," he made a motion to indicate her standing in front of him.

"To some extent," Kagome folded her arms behind her head, leaning to stretch out her spine. "If I think any of my carriers need help, I usually braid some of my hair into theirs. It words the same way the shards did to connect us and boost their skills while I'm gone."

"Shards?" The legend mentioned shards too.

"I shattered it trying to retrieve it from a crow," her lip curled in distaste at the memory. "Carrion bastard had stolen it and tried to make off with a child from our village. Taking the time to save the boy made it impossible for us to do more than be sure it did not escape alive," her eyes flashed that same glossy metallic he was starting to recognize coming with the flares in her aura. "That's when we realized we weren't strong enough, and took steps to correct that."

Youko will like that considering that mess with Karasu, Hiei closed his eyes and drew in a slow breath when his blood warmed, the increase of youki coming more easily this time. This just keeps getting better and better.

"But that is all in the past. Now we have the body and mind that we wanted," her fingers lowered to touch her throat as her gaze turned back to him in speculation. "And we claim the youkai we want as our family, our guardians. But you have your own mind just as we do, and if we're going to share more of this with you, you will have to stay."

"That's as much as you can remove from me if I decide I don't want to be one of your carriers," Hiei guessed.

Kagome blinked, eyes clearing slightly as she nodded in acknowledgement, "You're too proficient with mental manipulation for me to give you any more without some of it staying behind."

"And if I decide to stay?"

"Sesshoumaru will take over and tell you the rest," she chuckled at the annoyed frown that chased across his face hearing that. "You would have to get used to speaking with him, Hiei, he's the head of the family. Besides, he's careful not to kill family." Usually.

Hiei's brows drew together before he finally challenged, "I find it a little hard to believe that I'd be welcomed into your family so easily, miko. Despite what you say, my experience-"

"Has been solitary," she finished for him smoothly, but the look in her eyes displayed that she knew exactly what insecurities were tugging at the back of his thoughts. "The fears you have are normal for any youkai like you, but until you see it for yourself, all I can tell you is that your blood and your upbringing don't matter. I've never cared much for blood taboos, after all."

He wasn't entirely sure what to say to that, tilting his head to one side as he regarded the miko's smile again, Doesn't care for blood taboos? She's a legendary "artifact" on her own and she's here offering me a home? A place in her family?

"I won't make you choose right now if you think you need time to think about it," Kagome pushed herself away from the window and headed back towards the hall. Pausing beside the diminutive youkai, she reached over and clasped his hand in hers, "This isn't a trick question, Hiei. I've been honest in what I'm offering, and what it will cost you to say yes to me. I choose who is worthy of taking such a high place in my family regardless of the feelings of others."

Hiei clenched his jaw, staring straight ahead as she squeezed his hand once more before releasing him, Worthy…?

Kagome turned her head to whisper closer to his ear, "You would always have a home here. Remember that as you're making your decision."

The warmth of youki seeped out of him with the same slow precision as it had increased in the first place as she pulled away, re-shielding her own aura in layers until that empty sensation around her returned. The loss sent a chill down his spine, and it took a supreme force of will not to twist around and reach for Kagome in an effort to hold the warm peacefulness just a little longer.

The strength of that desire was what helped Hiei control it in the end, but his head still turned to watch her covertly out of the corner of her eye as she stepped out into the hall, "Miko."

Kagome paused, turning to look back at him, "Yes?"

"If I were to say yes, and someone were to disagree with you, what would happen?" he kept his voice even, trying to hide the very real curiosity eating at him over the reasons she would offer such blind acceptance.

Kagome's lips kicked up in a faint smirk, "It hasn't ever come up, but I suppose if someone were to take exception to my decision, they would be welcome to appeal to Sesshoumaru."

Hiei blinked and couldn't stop the faint snicker escaping him at the thought.

"If a youkai is good enough for Sesshoumaru and me, Hiei, the family welcomes them," her eyes flashed with silent laughter before the glow dulled back down to her more natural blue. "They know you have your invitation, even Shippou."

His brows rose, "Takashima hasn't protested?"

"Shippou is a kitsune," she snorted a rolled her eyes. "He likes to complain about anything that he thinks takes attention away from him, but I can promise you that he would probably be the first one to defend you."

Hiei knew his face reflected his disbelief.

"Only if you weren't there to see it, of course," Kagome winked at him, giggling as she gave him a parting wave and disappeared.