Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction / InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Thoughtless ❯ Thoughtless ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Disclaimer: I claim no ownership of Sengoku Otogizoushi - InuYasha or Yuu Yuu Hakusho. InuYasha belongs to Takahashi Rumiko, Shogakukan, Viz Media, ShoPro Entertainment, and Shounen; while Yuu Yuu Hakusho belongs to Togashi Yoshihiro, Shueisha, Viz Media, and Shounen. No profit or money of any kind is made from this fan-created crossover.
Prompt: "Careless Whisper"
Written For: The Deadliest Sin community ( http : / / thedeadliestsin . proboards33 . com )
Warning: Mild angst; No happy endings here; Spoilers for the ending of the Three Kings saga of YYH


It was a mere coincidence that caused their paths to first cross.

Two years after Enki won the Makai Tournament, the new ruler of all of Makai had decided that there should be liaisons between the Ningenkai and the Makai. As more youkai were taking the opportunity to start new lives in the Ningenkai and more humans were unwittingly crossing over in the Makai from realm rifts, it seemed to be the best idea to have the former participants who were on "guard duty" to get some insight into the humans they were forced to protect. It was a desperate attempt to make sure that all his progress in bridging their differences would not disappear if he should lose the next tournament.

Enki called in a favor to an old associate known only to some of the much older youkai. She refused to hear of repayment, more overjoyed at the fact that she would finally have some contact with some youkai again. Though Enki knew she was excited and could almost hear her jumping for joy, he did remember the temper she had. And before sending the group to her shrine, he warned them about upsetting her.

Many laughed and scoffed at his words. They had been ordered to "upset" and frighten the humans away from their realm, and now they were being ordered against doing that to one particular human? They laughed and joked around about it all the way to the shrine. Oh, how scary given that hardly any humans were born with actual hama no reiryoku.

Then, they met Kagome.

Even Hiei had been surprised upon seeing her. A true, fully functioning, hama no reiryoku wielding miko? How did Enki even know her enough to ask for a favor? More importantly, what kind of sick joke was he playing at?

A younger boy stood behind her. They could only assume it was her brother given the resemblance in height and build. With a bright smile and anxious hands, she bowed. "I'm Higurashi Kagome, and I'll be taking care you. Please make yourself at home on the shrine."

"Aw, Kagome!" A loud voice called out from the back. "I thought thievery was illegal here!"

Hiei recognized the whining tone and snorted. Kitsune, always whining for something more. Especially Shippou. How that idiot became one of Mukuro's guards, he would never know.

Yet Kagome seemed to recognize the voice or the tone. "Shippou?"

The sentimentality of the reunion was lost on Hiei as he had no care for such things. They were likely to make his teeth rot with all the sweetness. Though he did wonder how it could be that two youkai as old as Enki and Shippou could know a human woman, he had better things to waste his time on in the Ningenkai than such people.



Three months later had them all in an easy routine with each other. The youkai would come to her shrine between patrols to spar and test out their abilities in the new realm and on shrine grounds. If not that, then just to see the ease with which Kagome interacted with Shippou or Souta. Such intimacy that involved no desire to screw the other person was odd to them. Relationships like that were rare in the Makai were it could cause so much heartache.

It even made Hiei stop and watch. He had a sister he wished to be close to, that he could have been close to had it not been for a promise and a blood-stained past. He would watch with thinly veiled envy and sadness that he would never admit to having felt.

One day as he watched them chat about nothing, two youkai, comrades of his, were sparring. The sounds of swords clashing and scraping, of panting breaths and friendly taunts drowned out the conversation between miko and kitsune. Until a tortured breath was sucked in and a sword clattered to the ground.

Everything stopped at that moment as every eye available turned to look.

Kagome jumped up and ran toward them. Her hands were enveloped in a soft pink glow that signified her hama no reiryoku. The youkai who had made the near-fatal blow to his friend was about to run her through with his claws for daring to purify his friend in front of him. And he would have had Shippou not grabbed him in a bear hug and told him to watch.

So everyone did.

They watched as her hands hovered over the neck wound. As the blood stopped flowing from the cut to the jugular vein. As his neck went back to normal with not even a scar to show for it. Only when she pulled her hands away and her hama no reiryoku faded from them did it seem as if the entire shrine let out a collective breath.

A single misstep would have been fatal that day had Kagome not been around, and had she not been so willing to help.

Hiei watched as she brushed off their gratitude, and considered her rather stupid. A human did not receive any form of thanks from youkai every day. She should just accept it and move on rather than drag out the process.

The youkai who had made the almost fatal blow asked her why. Hiei left for the rest of the day after hearing her answer.

She had said, "Why do I have to have a reason to help someone, whether they're human or youkai? Because history has made us out to be sworn enemies is a really stupid reason to let someone die in front of you."

Her thoughtless words and deed unsettled him. A miko who defied all they had been told about miko and who needed a reason to not help someone? She seemed almost too good to be true, someone who was borderlining being perfect. And perfect people did not exist, not even in the Makai.

By the end of the next month, they all trusted her. They never said the words, but it was implied in all their actions. They started coming to her after battles to be healed, or just to talk and joke around with the woman. At some point they had stopped seeing her as "the miko" and more as "a person" as they realized that she had never seen them as "youkai", but just as "normal people". Even Hiei had crossed that line, but he would deny it with his usual snarkiness.

Trust was not something he gave out lightly. She did not have it, not yet. There was something about her that was off and that he needed to know why. It had been eating at him since they had first met. A human who knew such old youkai and was more at ease around them than other humans... Something was not right there.

It took him a month of coming to her to be healed to ask her. Most days he had a chance to ask her his questions, he found himself distracted or interrupted by others. He finally got his chance during one of the slower days at her shrine.

Hiei caught her gaze as she wrapped his arm up. At such a close distance, he finally noticed her eye color, a very distinct grey that could almost be called blue. Humans, he knew, did not have blue eyes. At the same time, he had never known one of his less-than-normal human acquaintances to have normal features on them.

She looked away first, and he found that his thoughts went back to thinking about why he was really there.

"Woman," he said. "How-"

He was cut off as she overly-tightened his bandage to the point of cutting off his circulation. "Kagome," she said. He looked down at her only to catch her glare and a angry quirk of one of her eyebrows. "Just because you can't remember it doesn't mean you can call me whatever you want."

Hiei repressed the urge to drop down to the level of an animalistic youkai and growl at her. Instead he matched her glare with one of his own. How dare she make such a jab to his intelligence, implying that he cannot remember a simple name. "Don't compare your pathetic mental capabilities to mine. Those who have earned their respect get called by name."

She clenched her teeth enough that he could see it in the angry set of her chin. He could tell she was determined to have him call her by his name. It was quite amusing for him, even though he was still angry about the subtle insult. She tightened his bandages even more. He was certain it would take a few hours for his fingers to feel normal again after this.

"Woman-"

Kagome tugged on them one last time before she stood up. "Until you can learn to say my name, bandage yourself, Hiei."

He smirked as she walked away. Though he still did not get some answers, he had learned a great deal more about her than questions could ever reveal. Before that point, he had only seen her be a ray of sunshine, full of butterflies and a love of animals. He had to admit, he loved her anger and determination so much more.

He still would not admit to trusting her. Yet he had no problems admitting to himself that she had his respect.



Two years passed quicker than either of them imagined it could. With each meeting that passed between them, they had worn down the barriers life had built around their hearts. Kagome wormed her way into his life enough to gain his trust and to hear him say her name while Hiei made her forget about the pain of loving Inuyasha enough to fall in love again.

Yet love made lovers dense. Hiei never knew that Kagome loved him. A childhood such as his left him without the ability to pick up on all the subtle differences between how she treated him and how she treated everyone else. Just as Kagome never knew that Hiei had fallen for her. The pain of loving someone in love with someone else had made her hypersensitive to indifference.

While love made lovers dense, it was clear to everyone else. Through the years, Kagome had grown on them all and they wanted her to be happy. It was obvious to Kagome that they knew she liked Hiei, and for some reason since the first Makai Tournament, they all loved playing match-maker, and so they used that information to tease Kagome mercilessly. They did it with the hope that it would push one into finally making a move.

Neither ever did.

No matter how many times they had asked out Kagome, Hiei had never become jealous enough to make a move. They did not know it was because of her vague, careless answer.

"I'm sorry... I know you're a great guy and all, and most women would be flattered by your offer, but... My heart already belongs to someone."

They always asked her to elaborate on who it was she liked in the hopes that one day Hiei would take off his jade-colored mindset and realize it was him whom she was describing. He never did. He did not view himself in the way she would describe him. With every quality she would list, it gave him one more reason not to make a move. She was beautiful and just; she deserved to have the happiness she wanted.

One day, he did get the courage to ask her why she cared about the person she loved so much. It was a stupid move on his part, but he had to hear it straight from her mouth and not overheard in another conversation.

She paused as he could tell she was gathering her thoughts before she fumbled her way through her reasons why. She would not meet his eyes, and she blushed in a way he had never seen her blush before. It clenched his heart in a way it never had before. After each reason, in his mind, he would list how it matched her perfectly.

He scoffed at his thoughts and, so as not to be overheard by her, murmured, "Anyone who feels that deeply for someone and says nothing is an idiot who doesn't deserve love."

He saw pain in her eyes before she looked down at his arm that she was bandaging. It was obvious she had heard and thought he was talking about her. He would not take back his words as they were true. No one who loved someone as much as Kagome claimed and Hiei knew deserved the other person's love if they could never get up the courage to tell them.

Yet how could he tell her that he loved her? How could he tell her that it was her who was always on his mind? That he couldn't think properly when she was around and when she was not? That he missed her whenever he spent too much time away?

And he never knew that she was thinking much the same thoughts. Because neither had the courage to say it just yet.

He knew her heart belonged to someone else. And he had accepted that.


Just as she knew he would run her through with his katana before saying he loved her back. And she had accepted that.

They had been in love with each other for two years now, and it only grew with each passing day. It was beginning to affect her work and everyone knew it. So she decided that it was time to end her service as the liaison and let Souta take over as he had been wanting for months. The pain of unrequited love was one she had no desire to bear again.

"You're right." She was dismayed to find that her voice held the pain and longing she had been trying to keep inside. "I am an idiot for not having the courage to say anything about how I feel towards him to his face. Because I know he wouldn't be accepting of it. He doesn't need love as he's said and showed so many times before."

She knew he would not take back his words. Though he told lies like everyone, he would never take back the truth. And his words held so much truth that it hurt. She finished tightening his bandages in silence, hearing him open his mouth to say something, but never quite finding the words and closing it again.

"Ka-"

"All done. You're good to go!" She cut him off and smiled. Even she knew it was small and half-hearted, shadowed by the pain he had caused her.

She watched as he stared never knowing how beautiful and sad he found her smile. Never knowing that he never wanted to give her another reason to smile like that toward him or anyone else.

Instead he nodded and pulled his arms back. Kagome knew they were already mending.

As normal, he left soon after. No thanks or goodbye as it always was. She knew he was grateful and that goodbyes were not his style.


Though next time... Next time he would say something even if her heart belonged to another.

However, there never was a next time.

Kagome watched him leave knowing it would be the last time she ever saw him. She left her position as a liaison that day and left it in her little brother's more than capable hands. There was no way she could continue to see him knowing he could never love her. She needed to try to move on instead of, once again, pining away for the love of a man who would not love her.

The careless words he had whispered were the end of their non-existent relationship. They walked away from each other never knowing they loved each other. He had been dark enough to cherish her light, as she had been light enough to want his darkness, but in the end all it did was blind them to the truth.


Word Count: 2691