Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction / Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction / InuYasha Fan Fiction / Rurouni Kenshin Fan Fiction ❯ Can You Name That Rachael Trait? ❯ Episode Three ( Chapter 4 )

Episode Three: A Whole New World

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Last time on "Can You Name That Rachael Trait…"

Danielle: What year of school did Rachael start playing her clarinet?

(Jeopardy music starts playing in the back round)

Kenshin: Ack! I can't think with all of that music!

Joey: Ding! Time's up!

Rachael: All right Kenshin! What year did I start playing the clarinet?

And Now back to our show!

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Kenshin: Uh… hm… (Kenshin starts to pace around, Rachael looks up at him expectedly)

Danielle: Are we allowed to drop hints?

Rachael: Well… seeing that poor wittle Kenshin is having some trouble, I'll give him one hint. Emerson Middle School.

Kenshin: OOH! Emerson! Hm… Seventh grade? (shrugs and sees how everyone is make a face at him) Is that wrong?

(Danielle and Rachael jump up and `Stars and Stripes Forever' by John Phillip Sousa is playing in the back round) Rachael: NO! You got it right! YAY! (they continue to dance around while balloons and streamers fall from somewhere on the ceiling)

Sesshomaru: Where is all of this coming from? (holding the long streamers and examining them. He takes a sniff and his eyes get wide.) You doused these odd soft, tapestry-like strips in herbal essence, didn't you?

Rachael: Well, I had to come up with something creative!

Sesshomaru: I see… Yes, you certainly accomplished that…

Joey: SHAAABOOOOOOM!

(All stare at him like he's crazy)

Danielle: Joey? What was that all about?

Joey: I'm the center of attention now! YAY!

Inuyasha: You won't be for long when I get through with you…

Rachael: I was an accident! YAAY!

(All turn and stare at Rachael now)

Kenshin: What do you mean you were an `accident'?

Kurama: Accident in what way?

Danielle: Hey! Kurama talked again! You've been silent buddy, I was beginning to think that you were bored here or something.

Kurama: Oh no, nothing of that sort. You all just forgot about me for a moment.

Rachael: Oh no! KURAMA FELT LEFT OUT! I feel so baaaaaaaaaaad! I FAAAIL! (sobbing and then begs for his forgiveness)

Kurama: It's ok… You can get off the floor now…

Sesshomaru: Groveling is not becoming unless you do it to a Demon Lord like myself. I wouldn't mind having that kind of appraisal.

Danielle: Appraisal? What are you getting at?

Sesshomaru: Submission, domination… (leans really close to her ear) Orgasm…

Danielle: OOOOOOOH BOY! (face bright red) You did not just tell me that. Pervert! Sesshomaru's a pervert!

(All look at Sesshomaru and he scoffs)

Sesshomaru: I have no idea what you are talking about.

Danielle: Uh huh and I'm wearing pink underwear!

Joey: Danielle? You are wearing pink underwear…

Danielle: Yes but that's BESIDES the point and- Wait… how did you know I was wearing pink underwear?

Joey: It's sticking up a half a mile out of your pants!

Danielle: AAAAH! I'm being harassed! RACHAEL!!!

Rachael: Hey guys! Come on! If you're going to be kinky like that do it to me because I can handle it! (bobbing eyebrows)

Danielle: Oh no! I didn't mean it like that-

Inuyasha: Rachael, weren't you going to tell us how you were an accident and what type it was?

Rachael: OH YEAH! STORY TIME! Gather round everyone and I'll tell you! (everyone gathers around except for Sesshomaru who still believes that he is above everyone even though all of his dignity went down the drain last time)

*flashback*

Rachael's Mom: Craig, I don't know if I'm ready to have a baby yet.

Rachael's Dad: Well you know, she was an accident, Jean.

Rachael's Mom: Yes but still. I conceived even though I was taking birth control… It doesn't make sense.

5 minute year old Rachael: I was an accident! YAY!

*end flashback*

All: ….. (staring at Rachael dumbfoundedly)

Sesshomaru: Did you parents tell you that it happened like that?

Rachael: No, I interpreted how I thought it happened.

(all but Rachael fall from their seats in absolute and total bewilderment)

Rachael: Wow! If I knew I was going to get such a reaction from you guys I would have said I was an accident to people YEARS ago!

Danielle: (twitching) No, that's ok, dear…

Kenshin: I thought it was a wonderful story Rachael, that it was.

Rachael: Well, at least somebody appreciates me.

(Inuyasha gets up to go across the room to the bathroom)

Danielle: Where are you going in such a hurry?

Rachael: He's got to go hope.

Inuyasha: I've got to go WHAT?!

Rachael: Hoope! You know! Like poop!

Kurama: … (shakes his head) I don't even want to know…

Kenshin: How do you get poop from hope?

Rachael: I'm glad you asked! I'll show you! (snaps her fingers and a big 64 inch screen tv appears with a remote that magically goes into Rachael's hand. Inuyasha comes back over despite his need to hope and watches ) Ah! Here we are! This is the part of Beauty and the Beast the Enchanted Christmas when the Beast says hope but it sounds like poop. Listen!

Beast: Poop…

Sesshomaru: Oh my…

Joey: Hey! It kinda does, doesn't it! That's friggin' hilarious!

Kenshin: I get it now, that I do!

Inuyasha: I guess I do need to hope.

All:…

Rachael: I was only joshing…

Danielle: Joshing?

Sesshomaru: Joking, playing around… Things of that nature…

Danielle: Hey Rachael! You have a living dictionary on your gameshow!

Rachael: Quick! What does Sexagenarian mean?

Joey: Hey! Who's calling WHO the pervert here?

Sesshomaru: Sexagenarian does not mean anything remotely close to sexual, Joseph.

Kurama: (looks at Joey and says calmly) You just got told.

Joey: Hey! How am I supposed to know what it means! I'm barely averaging a C in high school right now!

Inuyasha: Well then. I suppose in Rachael's words, `YOU FAAAAAIL!'

All:…

Rachael: Do I really look like that?

Kenshin: Of course not! You're much cuter than that dog breath over there! What were you thinking? You're the one that FAAAAAAAAAILS!

Danielle: Ten points for Kenshin!

Inuyasha: DOG breath? What the hell! Can't anyone come up with new insults?

Danielle: No, I suppose not. Now go take your hope before you get constipated.

Sesshomaru: Well put, Danielle. Well put.

Kenshin: Ten points for Danielle!

Inuyasha: AAAAAAAAH! Everyone is ganging up against me!

Sesshomaru: Now you know how it feels, hm? (Inuyasha leaves to take his hope)

Kurama: I may be forward for saying this, but are we going to ask any more questions during this episode or are we just going to keep going on tangents like this-

Rachael: NOOOO! That's MY imitation of Tetsusaiga! GIVE IT BACK!

Joey: I just wanna see it-

Rachael: HEY! You're BREAKING IT! IT'S FRAGILE!

Kurama: Alas… I am ignored again…

Danielle: Aww! Don't be ignored Kurama! Rachael! He's feeling ignored again!

Rachael: Oh no! I must do something quickly! (thinks and then snaps fingers making a karaoke machine appear) Come on up here, Kurama.

Joey: Go on Kurama. Sing with Rachael (in a teasy cooing voice)

Danielle: You are fully aware that Kurama has his yoko side still…

Kenshin: Kurama could kick your ass without trying, that he could, Joey.

Joey (shuts up)

Inuyasha: Ahhh what a nice cra- I mean hope (after looking at a glare on Rachael's face) What's going on here?

Rachael: Kurama's going to karaoke with me because he was being ignored again.

Sesshomaru: Wow… aren't you special Kurama… (sarcastic)

Kurama: Actually, yes. I feel very special now. You're just jealous, Sesshomaru.

Sesshomaru: Why would I be jealous when I have her for a wife?

All (turn to look at Rachael who is blushing madly):…

Rachael: YOU STILL HAVEN'T LET THAT GOOOOOOOOO?

Sesshomaru: Of course not. I can still hold it against you (grinning sexily)

Rachael: You… YOU… GAH! I can't even think of anything! Get up here Kurama before I loose my nerve and attack that DOG with my announcer magic!

Danielle: Aww, you're so cute when you're angry, Rachael! (Sesshomaru is still grinning like an idiot)

Joey: Wipe that smug look off yer face, Sesshomaru. She WASN'T impressed, ya know.

Inuyasha: He's not listening. Nothing ever gets through that thick skull of his…

(Rachael and Kurama are choosing their song)

Rachael: I think we should do a duet! Can you sing at all?

Kurama: Why, yes. Yes I can. What should we choose?

Rachael: OOH! A Whole New World! PLEASE?

Kurama: From Aladdin?

Kenshin: Oh please sing that song! I love it, that I do! If it's sung right it nearly brings tears to my eyes!

Joey: You are a girly boy if you're gonna cry at a song!

Danielle: Hey hey ho ho! I think it's cute if a guy cries at a good song! Now if he cries from nothing or from an injury THAT'S a different story… (glaring at Joey)

Joey: H-Hey… Why are you starin' at me like that?

Rachael: SHE thinks YOU'RE a CRY baby (Rachael was playing around with the volume on the microphone) EVEN THOUGH SHE STILL HAS THE HOTS FOR YOU!!!!!

Danielle: AAAAAAAAH! RACHAEL! HOW EMBARASSING! (holding her extremely red face)

Joey: Oh HO! So the tables are turned now! (Microphone starts to buzz really loudly)

Both Inu brothers: AAAAAAAAAH! (covering their ears, grinding their teeth)

Rachael: Sorry boys! (fixes microphone with announcer magic) Ready Kurama?

Kurama: Of course I am, Jasmine.

Rachael: OOOH! Didja hear that? He called me Jasmine! Ok, Street Rat!

Kurama (looking aghast *fun word*): STREET Rat?

Danielle: Oh don't be offended! That's what Aladdin is, Kurama. Remember?

Rachael: OOH! I can use my announcer magic and make us all characters from the movie! (claps hands and then in a puff of blue smoke characters appear) Hey look! I'm wearing Jasmine's pretty green outfit. And you look hot in Aladdin's clothes, Kurama!

Kurama: The fabric is very comfortable…

Joey: What the hell is this! I'm dressed like the MONKEY! (starts to hop around in his anger and embarrassment) Rachael, WHY AM I THE MONKEY?

Danielle: Be glad you're the monkey! I'm Iago, you DOLT! (stands up and starts to wobble around in the chubby-looking parrot suit.) This is cheap! The wings don't even work! I want my love and care fairy outfit back!

Sesshomaru: I very much like my attire. It suits me well. (Playing with the train of the robe he is wearing.)

Danielle (looks him over): Yeah. I think you could be Jafar, Sesshomaru.

Inuyasha: Why the hell am I the magic carpet? WHY? I wanted to be Aladdin!

Rachael: Hey now! Stop being ungrateful! At least you HAVE a costume, right? Anyways! He (points to Kurama) is my Aladdin right now. (gives him a hug)

Danielle: Aw…

Joey: Awaddin! (in a squeaky voice)

Inuyasha: Shut up! You don't even come close to soundin' like Abu!

(piano music starts playing in the back round)

Kurama: I can show you the world. Shining, shimmering splendor (puts arm around Rachael and points to the sky) Tell me princess, now when did you last let your heart decide…

Rachael: I don't want to decide anything anymore… not when I've got you here…

Kurama: I can open your eyes. Take you wonder by wonder. Over side ways and under (flips them around with his rose whip) on a magic carpet ride… (Rachael claps her hands and makes Inuyasha appear under them, flying, since he's the magic carpet)

Inuyasha: Heeeeavy! HEAVY! (Kurama stomps on him, silencing him)

Danielle (snuggles up to Joey): Isn't this romantic?

Joey: Sure. Oh, by the way. That parrot outfit makes you look fat.

Danielle (growls): JERK! (punches him)

Joey: Hey… I ken see fifty magic cawpets swimmin' round my head…. Is dat no-mal?

Kurama: A whole new world… A new fantastic point of view, no one to tell us no. Or where to go. Or say we're only dreaming…

Rachael: A whole new world… A dazzling place I never new… But when I'm way up here, it's crystal clear and now I'm in a whole new world with you…

Kurama: Now I'm in a whole new world with you-

Rachael: Unbelievable sights… (some how those stupid white birds appear and start pecking at the magic carpet)

Inuyasha: OOH! Ow! Why me? Why does it always have to be me? NOT THE NOSE!

(Rachael makes Inuyasha fly her and Kurama closer to the ceiling) Rachael: Indescribable feelings. Soaring, tumbling with feeling through an endless diamond sky! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! A WHOLE NEW WORLD! (shrieks when Inuyasha purposely takes them for a huge dip towards the ground at an amazing speed)

Kurama: Don't you DARE close your eyes… (punches Inuyasha) Hold your breath it gets better…

Rachael (panting and trembling): I'm like a shooting star, I've come so far. I can't go back to where I used to be (Kurama: A Whole New World) every turn of surprise…

(Danielle appears besides them flying)

Danielle: I'm flying! I'm in the song! YAY!

Sesshomaru (rolls his eyes): This is ludicrous…

Rachael and Kurama: I'll take them anywhere… There's time to spare… Let me share this whole new world with you…

Kurama: A whole new world…

Rachael: A whole new world…

Kurama: That's where we'll be…

Danielle: (out of tune and sounding horrible) That's Where THEY'LL BEEEEEEEEE!

Kurama and Rachael: …

Danielle: Sorry! Sorry! I'm leaving now!

Kurama: A thrilling change…

Rachael: A wondrous place…

Both: For you and me… (the instruments fade out and the two of them stare at each other)

Kurama: Rachael? (staring deeply into her eyes)

Rachael: Yes Kurama? (her eyes are half lidded)

Danielle: (whispering) Oh my god! I can sense kinkiness coming!

(Kurama kisses Rachael while they are still on Inuyasha who then freaks out)

Inuyasha: WHAT THE HELL IS THIS??!!

(Kurama and Rachael, who are looking very ruffled, are thrown from Inuyasha's back and go tumbling across the room)

Sesshomaru: I see things are heating up now… My my…

Kenshin (holding tissues, dabbing his nose): That's was BEAUTIFUL! Better than the movie! And so realistic!

Danielle: AWWW! You're really crying aren't you! Oh Kenshin! Come here! I'll join you! (pulls him into a hug and they both start dabbing their noses with tissues)

Joey: Where's the love for me, huh? Hey, Danielle-

Danielle: Nope! You said I'm fat! Don't talk to me! LA LA LA! I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!!

Kurama: Rachael… I…

(Rachael touches her mouth and stares at Kurama) Rachael: Were you just acting or…

Kurama: It started out as an act…

Commercial Break:

(Sesshomaru standing in the middle of a huge white room looking like… himself!)

Danielle (from the side not shown): Come on, Sesshomaru! You're going to wreck it!

Sesshomaru: I've all ready been through this one. Must I do it again?

Danielle: Oh come on!

Sesshomaru (growls but then agrees): Oh yes… (completely with no feeling) Yes… Yes… Yes… There is another…

Danielle (jumps out from the side): Herbal Essence intensive blends will make you replace the old stuff and bring in the new! (starts to run her fingers through her hair) Yes! YES! YES! YES!

Sesshomaru: No… No… No…

Danielle: Hey! You're ruining the sexual appeal of the commercial! Now COME ON! Get into character!

Sesshomaru (looks to Danielle, then looks to the camera, a naughty smirk on his face): Very well then… If you dare to order me around then you will face the consequences…

Danielle (gulps): Consequences?

Sesshomaru (starts to rip out of his robes, leaving him in just his pants): Yes… (growling seductively) There is another… but I'm just going to terrorize you for the time present… (puts his claws near the seams of his pants, Danielle's eyes are wide)

Danielle: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Sesshomaru (holds up the Herbal Essence Intensive Blends bottle): There is another…

(Danielle shuddering and talking to herself in the corner, her eyes wide)

End Commercial

Commercial #2:

(Rachael prances out wearing a very sexy sleeveless dress that stops four inches above her knees) Rachael: Fashion designers dresses are HOT.

(Kurama and Kenshin come out wearing the same exact clothes as Rachael)

Rachael: See? Look at those three guys. Don't they look h- Wait… One… Two… Hey Kenshin? Where's Inuyasha?

Kenshin: He refuses to come out, that he does.

Kurama: Clearly you can know the familial resemblance between himself and Sesshomaru. They are both equally stubborn and the term party pooper must be a trait included as well.

Inuyasha (from backstage): I AIN'T comin' out!

Rachael: Well ain't ain't a word. Ain't ain't in the dictionary and you ain't gonna say ain't no more! Now GET YOUR SORRY FANNY OUT HERE BEFORE I SPANK IT!

(Danielle's cousin Roxanne appears) Roxanne: And it shall be oh so very kinky!

Rachael: ROXI! Here! Put this on! Help me advertise!

Roxi: Ok! (gets into the dress)

Inuyasha: Nope! Not comin' out!

Roxi: What's the problem here?

Kurama: Inuyasha's being a stubborn idiot. Don't you see? Look at us!

Kenshin: We're wearing the dresses!

Rachael: That's because you're REAL men and not stupid boys who refuse something when a girl asks them a FAVOR!

(Inuyasha's head pops into view as he considers this)

Roxi: What MAN would refuse something like this, huh Rachael?

Rachael: Apparently INUYASHA would, but he's not being a man, now is he?

Roxi: No. I suppose he's not.

Kenshin: Inuyasha! YOU FAIIIIIIIIIIIIIL!

Inuyasha: FINE! I'll come out in the damn dress! (Comes out and Roxi and Rachael swoon)

Rachael: Aww… isn't he so hot?

Roxi: Yeah… but not as hot as Chad… See? (hold up a magazine where every picture of him is circled)

Kenshin: You actually had enough time to go through and do that?

Roxi: Yep!

Rachael: Now back to the commercial. You see? Dresses like these are the latest fab-

Kurama: Don't you mean fad?

Rachael: No, I meant fab as in FABULOUS! Everyone should get one! YAY!

Roxi: Wow… Who knew these guys could look so hot in skimpy dresses like these!

End Commercial:

When we last left our heroes, Inuyasha had been over come with jealousy because of some blossoming romance between Aladdin and Jasmine- I mean Kurama and Rachael…

Tune in next time…

Will Kurama and Rachael's love wither and die and they just become friends again?

Will Danielle ever forgive Joey for calling her fat?

Will Sesshomaru ever finish strip teasing for Danielle-

Danielle: DEAR GOD! I HOPE NOT!

Next time on… Can you name that Rachael trait?