Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction / Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction / Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Kooking Without Konduct ❯ Pookaka ( One-Shot )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Mimosa: I will be updating my other story, I just forgot about it. In the meantime, enjoy this oneshot! Review and i might write the mighty trio in other tv situations to! Heheheh...

Kooking Without Konduct

Karasu:*smiling serenely* Hellu! Welcome to the Kooking without Konduct Happy Hour, I'm your host Karasu! Today I will be teaching everyone how to make *starts twitching and shrieking*BLOWEMUPBLOWEMUPBOMBSBOMBSDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEKIIIIIILL*back to normal* cherry pie. but first, allow me to introduce my esteemed partner *bellows* AAAAAAAAAAAUUUGGGGHHHH-*stops* chefs Farfarello,

Farfarello:.............*is busy repeatedly stabbing his own hand with a fillet knife*

Karasu:*giggles and puts his hand over his mouth* It looks like our hibachi chef will be teaching us how to make 'finger food' now doesn't it? *hisses evilly* Kiiiillllllll..................

Audience:........*laughs nervously*

Karasu:And let's not forgot our ever so important appetizer expert, the endearing Yami Bakura! *gestures at him*

Yami Bakura:*smiles evilly* Arsenic goes well with crab legs...And I'm not wearing underwear. Kukukukukukukuku......

Farfarello: -.- Public nudity frightens people...Fear hurts God. *begins doing a jerky strip tease to the sudden skanky music*

Audience: O_o *is scared alright*

Karasu:Oh ho ho ho ho! Now now Farfie dearest, save that for.....for..... *screams and starts throwing tables...and bombs* GOD DAMNIT I CAN'T THINK OF A FREAKING PUNCHLINE!!! *shrieks*

Farfarello:*is satisfied with God damning his dance and stops*

Audience:*sighs with relief*

Yami Bakura:.......dUdE U R s0 W|-|Ac|<. *throws salt at the back of Karasus head*

Farfarello:*stares at Bakura* When you spill salt you are desecrating something holy. *slowly turns and smiles sweetly at the camera* It's a good thing. *kicks over a bag of salt and hums innocently*

Karasu*has calmed down* ^^ Now, before we start 'getting jiggy with it', I'd like to introduce our guest helper chefs Aya Fujimiya aaaaaand *shouts* YuGiOOOOOOh! *pumps his fists in the air*

Audience:*claps politely as Aya and Yami Yugi get shoved on stage*

Aya: o.o *sees Farfarello and glares* Die! *pulls out his katana*

Farfie:*looks boredly at his fingernails* Jeez... Come up with a new line. 'Die die die!' No one gives a crap Mr.I'm-Such-An-Icehole-Martyr-Whaawhaa-My-Sisters-In-A-Coma. Get over it, get a date get wasted get laid!

Audience:*cheers* Here here!

Aya:T_T...You suck. * regains his composure* Eeerrrrrr, >.< Buy something or get out!

Farfie:*sighs* Sad...

Karasu: >.> *loses his cheerful composure* Farfarello just gave useful advice... And it had nothing to do with God. *juggles hand grenades perplexedly* Huh.

Yami:*gasps* Bakura! *dramatically stabs a finger at him* This is all your doing you fiend! *grits his teeth* Aargh!

Bakura:*isn't paying much attention* Que? *plays with clams clacking them at each other and talking babyishly* Hewwo, I is Mr.Clammy! *clack clack* Hewwo Clammy! I'm Sammy. *click clack click*

Yami:*crosses his arms and glowers darkly* You turned Yugi into an Emo-crotch! *jabs his finger towards backstage*

Yugi:*has a guitar and is singing whinily* And then sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-she left me! Went off without me why didn't she see I need her! she is my lifeline-lalalalala! T_T *sniffles*

Bakura:*is clued in now* Oh yeah that. I thought you were talking about that rash I created from shadows on your d-

Karasu:OOOOkay! Now that we've all been introDIEced, let's begin shall weKILL? *grins and nods at Farfarello* So, what wBOMBill you be making?

Farfarello:*looks at him wierdly* I'm going to destroy God of course.

Karasu: -.-; This is a cooking show. You're a hibachi chef now.

Farf:...Confusion doesn't hurt God, it just pisses me off. *throws a knife into Karasu's forehead* What is this higemichloo chef you think I am?

Karasu: O;O...... *is bleeding* Um. You get knives. And slice things.

Farfar:*smiles* Most excellent. *clasps his fingers together* I will be making food.

Karkar:You do that. *haphazardly throws a grenade out the window and then smiles at the camera* And now a short break! ^^ Don't go away!

*commercials*

Farfarello:AOL.... It's easy. But lets talk about the Lying Bastard that is the Creator. *growls ferally and foams at the mouth*

Schuldig: ^^; *pops in* Or we could talk about the benefits of AOL..It's easy! *thumbs up*

Farfarello:You know else is Lying Scum? That guy....

Schuldig:..???

Farfarello:Dude I am not getting an effing Dell.. *sullenly pokes his finger into his empty eyesocket*

Schuldig:.....Well no. But AOL, use it, it's fast easy! *grins and winks*

Farfarello:*snorts and mutters* Like a cheap whore...

*commercial 2*

Tea:I love my friends! I'd never let them down! They're great! Uhm, not drugs though! They are bad! Don't do them!

*back to the show*

Karasu: -^_^- So! The first thing you need to know about cherry pie is cherries! you need them.

Bakura:*smiles* I will be making whinyass emo strips! *has tied Yugi over a vat of oil* First we have to flay our victim-er, tasty....thing. *holds up a machete knife*

Farf:*snarls and starts gnawing on Bakura*MIIIIINE! *steals the machete knife and runs away sqealing*

Bakura:FLITH! VERMIN! RAAAAAAAH! *tries to chase Farfarello but is blocked by Yami*

Yami:*does dramatic hand gestures* You're out of line Bakura! *growls* Yugi is my best friend! Emo or not you cannot deep fry him! *points* It's time to d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-duel!

Bakura:....Dude, no. *calmly makes pigs in blankets instead*

Yami:*is killed by zombies*

Aya:*is standing by Farfarello calmly chopping trout*

Farfie:*leers at him* Yer hair is so pretty................

Aya:...don't make me castrate you.

Farfarello:Gonads are Gods creations. Slicing them off would hurt Him. *stalks towards Karasu slowly with a knife*

Karasu:*sees him* Sorry to disappoint but, *smiles chipperly at the camera* My balls are not on the menu.

Aya:...It's a good thing.

Audience:*laughs*

Karasu:>_o You are only allowed to laugh at myyyyy jokes! *starts smoking*

Audience*stops*

Farfarello:*jumps on Karasu and tries to cut off his...thingy*

Karasu:X_x Why meeeee? *strangles Farfie*

Aya:*pulls the pie out of the oven*

Bakura:....Um, we have a pie, and some hot dog things....And you have learned....End of show. *steals the millenium puzzle*

Farfarello:AND REMEMBER! ABORT! DESTROY THE SOULS OF FURTURE CHILDREN AND GOD WILL CRY!!!!MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! *is dragged off stage and sedated*

Karasu:X_X;;;; *coughs* Seeya next week...