Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction / Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Yuu Yuu Yu-Gi-Oh! ❯ Act One: In Which We Make New Friends ( Chapter 1 )

A/N: This is a Yu-Gi-Oh! /Yuu Yuu Hakusho fanfiction with heavy-duty yaoi for sure. The pairings consist of YamiXYugi, BakuraXRyou, HondaXJounounchi, KaibaXJounounchi, HondaXOtogi, KuramaXHiei, Kurama+Yugi, and Kurama+Ryou (plus signs indicate possible future relationships). I like Battle City a lot, so that shall be our setting. I gave the dark entities the temporary power to become tangible as well, just to keep the story going. This'll be fun!

Symbols are as follows: <indicate thought/telepathy>, and <<indicate private thoughts>>. *Indicate emphasis*.

I should warn you I am a huge fan of man spanking, and I will add a lot with as much humor as I can. Yes, I will also write about the hot monkey-lovin' following it. I own no part of Yu-Gi-Oh!, or Yuu Yuu Hakusho, nor will I claim to. I figure, with the way I write, it's much safer that I don't own any part of either show. You'll see why.

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Yuu Yuu Yu-Gi-Oh!

Act One: In Which We Make New Friends

It was a particularly sunny day in Domino City, and no one was spared from the sudden outbreak of good cheer that rolled in with it. Shopkeepers greeted passers-by as they swept their shop entrances, while passers-by bid good morning to all that they encountered. Even teenagers on their way to school found something to smile about, which spoke volumes in and of itself.

One such bright-eyed youth happens to be the hero of our tale. The charming little blonde had taken special care to comb his hair right and put on his crisp and clean school uniform, his amethyst eyes aglow with excitement. The youth packed up a nutritious lunch and skipped out the door, his Sennen puzzle bouncing along on its chain around his neck. His darker entity saw him off, since his mother and grandfather were out for the weekend shopping for supplies he would need in Battle City.

Along his merry way, the birds whistled their merry tunes and escorted him to school. (Anyone rolling in their own vomit, yet?) The boy happily waved to his fellow students, and quickened his skip to get to his familiar band of friends. They all waited for him in front of the school's massive gates, waving to him cheerily and bickering playfully.

"Oi, Yugi!" called a strapping youth with snow-white hair. "You're just in time! The new exchange students have arrived! You have to see them!"

Another blonde garbed in green cackled evilly and nodded. "Hai! The one looks like a horrible clone of Kevin Bacon and Carrot Top!" Everyone but the snowy-haired boy and a rather stuck-up looking female had a hearty guffaw. Yugi let out a small snigger, but blushed shamefully for doing so.

"Jounounchi-kun," Yugi admonished. "You shouldn't be so mean. It's not fair to judge someone by their looks. They'll have enough of a hard time for being new, and it doesn't help if you have a laugh at their expense." The others quieted and mumbled apologies while those who didn't laugh gave him praising looks.

"Well spoken, Yugi," the female spoke. She was wearing her obnoxiously high yellow skirt again, and the bubble-gum pink outfit that reminded Yugi of cat vomit. Of course, he couldn't voice his thoughts so readily to her. "So Yugi, did you want to come over my house and do homework after school?"

Yugi politely declined. "I'll pass, Anzu, but thank you. Yami would rather I be home tonight, since Kaa-san and Jii-san are out of town." Turning to the quiet blonde, he chuckled. "I envy you sometimes, Ryou. Yami can be such a mother hen sometimes."

Ryou waved it off with an amused shrug. "Bakura is usually too drunk to be upset with me. Besides, my freedom comes at a price. I have to sleep with-" Ding, dong ding, dong. "Oh my! The starting bell! We'll be late for class!"

Yugi nodded. "Come on, minna!" The group of five ran inside with all speed and to their homeroom, abandoning all forms of courtesy or caution. Poor Yugi forgot to look where he was going and ended up bumping into two very unfamiliar folks. "Oh! Gommenosai!" he gasped out, bowing his head in apology. "How very rude of me! Suminasen!" Without another look back, he jumped up and ran to his homeroom just in time.

~

Urameshi Yuuske was not pleased. He was on an undercover mission, in a school, on a Monday, and he was lost. One would think he would at least be comforted by the presence of his friend/rival, Kuwabara Kazuma, but even that grated at his nerves. "WILL YOU SHUT THE HELL UP?! I'M TRYING TO FIND OUR GODDAMNED HOMEROOM! Christ, I need a cigarette…"

Kuwabara was just as Jounounchi had described him. His red hair and freckles were dead ringers for Carrot Top, and his nose pointed upward skillfully with a grace only Kevin Bacon could master. Truly a work of grotesque poetry, his image was only enhanced by the light-blue uniform he wore and the black shoes he polished and scuffed religiously. "Shut up yourself, Urameshi. It wasn't my idea to come here. And it isn't my fault you're lost already!"

Yuuske grunted and crumpled the paper he held. Yuuske was by far more pleasing to the eye than his companion. His jet-black hair shone blue in the light, and it was slicked back stylishly to bring out his brown eyes and handsome, rugged features. His uniform was emerald green, for a change of pace, and he walked with a swagger Johnny Cash would envy. A force to be reckoned with, he was, and a majestic looking specimen to be sure. "So where do you think we'd find our objective?"

"How should I know? Not like he'd run up our butts." WHOOMP! "HEY! WATCH IT!"

Both street fighters turned around to get a good look at what would soon be the victim of a hit and run, but paused when they saw whom it was that had run into them. They barely caught the squeaky little apologies he'd uttered for being so rude, and could only watch as he scuttled away to a nearby classroom. "Not exactly up our butts there," Yuuske grinned, reaching into his pocket once more. "I think we just found our classroom, Kuwabara."

"About damn time, Urameshi," the redhead growled. "Any longer and they'd have to send a damn search-and-rescue ITAI!"

"Hurry up!" Yuuske growled, running into the classroom to follow the spiky-haired boy who had bumped into them. He clenched a photograph in his hand and peered at it, confirming the blonde hair, red streaks, and purple eyes. <Pharaoh Yami, you're goin' down, And no doubt you know exactly where your grave-robbing partner is.>

~

The teacher walked in and set his papers down, turning to his class with a warm smile. "Ohayo gojimazu," he said, waiting for the class to chant it back. "We seem to have new pupils today, something very exciting indeed. Class, please welcome Urameshi Yuuske and Kuwabara Kazuma. Gentlemen, how about you share something about yourselves."

Yuuske grinned cockily. "Nothin' to write home about. Our stay here is temporary, I'm available, and Kuwabara here's as sexually stimulating as the school nurse." The entire class erupted into laughter while Kuwabara brained his partner and the teacher blushed a shade of crimson no one thought existed. In the midst of it all, Yuuske scanned the room for the spiky haired-link to the Dark Pharaoh. He was third row, center seat. Conveniently situated one desk over was a dead-ringer for the grave-robber Bakura. <What crappy disguises. Did they think they'd get away that easily?>

"We'll see just how good lookin' the school nurse is after I shove your head up your ass, Urameshi!" Kuwabara growled, completely forgetting about the teacher that fumed behind them. Needless to say, they were swiftly reminded as they were both sent to the hall.

As the two were escorted out, Yuuske shot a look to Yugi and Ryou, warning them not to stray far. Yugi and Ryou knew exactly what that look meant, having received it from their yamis when they were in trouble, or plotting some new mischief. The smaller duelist had no need to turn back and look to his friend, whose face was now ashen with dread. <What could they possibly want?>

Things began to sour from there. During lessons, Yuuske would always look back from his front row desk and nod dangerously, as though sizing them up for a grand rumble to happen without their consent. Lunch took too long to get to them, and even then, Ryou and Yugi couldn't escape the cruel smiles of Kuwabara and Urameshi.

Sensing danger, Honda and Jounounchi made damn sure to stay nearby. The big confrontation came at lunch, when Yuuske and Kuwabara decided it was time to show their true colors. Honda, Jou, and Anzu had been called away upon an urgent matter involving student fees, leaving Yugi and Ryou unguarded. Strike while the iron is hot, Yuuske figured, and advanced slowly.

"You should both know who I am by now, right?" he purred ominously, resting his hand comfortably on the table in front of Yugi and Ryou. With a big devil-may-care grin, Yuuske rested his foot atop Yugi's textbooks and glared the two down. "Well, I must say your costumes aren't worth crap. So how about we make this all peaceful-like and you come with us, or else Kuwabara and I will be forced to get you all messy before your hearing with Koenma."

"There must be some mistake," Ryou tittered, fumbling over his words. "What is or who is Koenma? What do you want with Yugi and myself?"

Kuwabara, ever the patient one, seized Ryou by the scruff of his shirt and heaved him straight up from his seat. "Don't give me that crap, grave robber! You're under arrest by the orders of that floating baby Yuuske hangs out with! OW! NAN DA?!"

Yuuske growled and seized Yugi's wrist, keeping him from escaping. "We don't hang out! Not by a long shot! I do his dirty work to keep him out of trouble with King Yemma! If it were my choice, I'd be GONE by now!" Turning his gaze to Yugi, he shook him once for emphasis. "What the Hell kind of name is Yugi?! What a crappy disguise! And I suppose he's Bakura?"

Yugi nodded. "Hai! I'm Yugi Moutou! My grandfather owns a gameshop in this town! He and my mother and I live there, above the store! That's Ryou Bakura! He lives here too, but his father is out working all the time! He's an Egyptologist! I swear I'm telling the truth!"

"YUGI!" Yugi never thought he'd be so glad to hear someone shouting his name so angrily. Before he knew it, Jounounchi had Yuuske's wrist and was squeezing it until the bones began popping. Honda was working on freeing Ryou, his glare distracting Kuwabara long enough to free the trembling hikari. "You got a problem there, buddy? What's so important about our friends that you feel the need to rough them up?"

"Who are you?" Kuwabara demanded, surprised to see their suspects being guarded so heavily. "Do you even know who these freaks are?!"

Honda nodded evenly, sizing up Yuuske and Kuwabara both. "Katsuya, do you see any freaks around here?"

Jounounchi grinned evilly, eyeing Kuwabara. "Now that you mention it, Honda, I have quite an eyesore over here. Ol' Carrot Top here's giving me a headache with his bad case of ugly." He advanced with knuckles cracking, but was stopped when a pair of small hands fastened around his belt and held him back. "Hn? Yugi, what's with holding me back?"

"Don't fight!" the little duelist begged, near to tears. "I think they've mistaken us for different people! I'm willing to let it go! Just please don't fight! You shouldn't hurt yourself because of me!" WHAM! The sound of Yuuske's fist crashing into Yugi's eye echoed throughout the schoolyard, causing many a turned head.

"Give up the act, Pharaoh! Do you know how many people you killed in your regime?! Well, enough to OOF!"

"HOW DARE YOU?!" Jounounchi howled, lashing out and catching Yuuske in the stomach with enough force to knock him flat on his ass. Honda leapt on top of the fallen Spirit Detective without a second thought, pummeling him with all his strength. Kuwabara lumbered in like a bear, throwing Honda from Yuuske. The fight only escalated from there, all while Anzu and Ryou tried to wake Yugi from his unconscious state.

In the end, it took the janitor, the principal, and the assistant principal to beg the lunch ladies to separate the fight. It took the three lunch ladies all of one minute to manually separate each boy from the tangle of flailing limbs, each one breathing heavily and bleeding from one orifice or another. While the uber-strong women carted them off one by one, the principal ranted about calling parents and wishing to see `you four hooligans brought to justice'.

~

At the Moutou house, Yami lazily sat back on the couch and shut his eyes for a nap. He'd already raided the refrigerator impatiently, wondering why Yugi had to stay at school for so damned long. He jumped a little as the phone rang, but he collected himself swiftly and tried to recall how the damned device worked.

<How does aibou do it?> he thought in frustration, finally becoming desperate and hitting a random button. With luck, he and found the `speaker phone' button. Of course, he didn't know this, and promptly began assuming he'd messed up. "BY RA'S FINGERS AND BLOOD!"

"Mr. Moutou?" came the timid start, the person on the other end sounding completely baffled. "Mr. Moutou, are you there?"

Yami's eyes got wiiiiiide. Voices? This thing was the work of a DEMON! "Moshi-moshi?" Yami said, hoping he sounded a bit like Yugi's grandfather.

It was a passable ruse, thank the gods. "Ah, Mr. Moutou! I'm calling in regards of your grandson, Yugi. We're sending him home immediately, and he is not to return to school grounds for a full week, under the rules of his suspension. We do hope this is not an inconvenience for you."

"Suspended?" Yami questioned. <Suspended from what? A high tension wire? What the Hell sense does that make?> "Elaborate."

"Your grandson will explain himself when he is home, Mr. Moutou. Good day to you." A small, sharp click sounded not too long after, signaling that the one on the other end had hung up. Yami began hitting random buttons again, successfully dialing up a twenty-four hour Piggly Wiggly in Northern Kentucky before he figured out how to hang up.

Becoming worried, which was new, the Dark King of Games folded his arms over his chest and began pacing purposefully. "Yugi? Suspended? He's on his way home now; maybe I'll get some answers out of him then. But what could have possibly happened to him? Should I have been there to protect him? Maybe changed places with him for today? Hnnnnn…."

~

Things weren't looking too hot for Ryou. After Bakura had picked up the phone, the enraged yami swore to personally come down to the school and escort his hikari home by force. Ryou seized the phone and insisted he was fine, being careful to call his darker side `Tou-san' to throw the others onto a false trail.

By the end of that phone call, Jounounchi and Honda had finished speaking with their parents and were more than willing to take Yugi and Ryou home. By this point, Ryou was near to tears and holding Yugi up with whatever strength he could muster. Two very irate women calling themselves `Botan' and `Keiko' had led Yuuske and Kuwabara away some time ago, giving our hero and his companions some privacy.

The unhappy group proceeded home reluctantly, the sun ironically shining on and mocking them. The world around them was still jovial, but there were no signs of a smile on any of their faces. There was no longer anything to smile about, unless one thought certain doom to be a worthwhile trip.

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End of Act One. Did I do okay? Please say you had a giggle at least! If not, I promise it'll get funnier! I'm only warming up!