Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction / Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Yuu Yuu Yu-Gi-Oh! ❯ Act Three: Just as Simple as Kit-su-ne! ^-^ ( Chapter 3 )

A/N: Welcome to part three! Here we'll get the plot rolling, and get to the fun!

All warnings and notices from before still stand. Nothing's changed for this fic.

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Yuu Yuu Yu-Gi-Oh!

Act Three: In Which the Plot Thickens

Or

Just as Simple as Kit-su-ne!

"Yuuske, how could you?!" Keiko berated for the umpteenth time. She and Botan had been watching the young men's progress to be certain things went to plan, and both were furious to see the fight that resulted. "You were supposed to bring those two Egyptian spirits to justice, not pummel their look-alikes! Those poor boys did nothing to you and you beat them senseless just about!"

Yuuske blushed and kept his gaze downward, avoiding his long-time friend and not-that-secret crush. "Keiko, I said it already! I didn't mean to mess things up! He was a dead-ringer for that Pharaoh! How was I to know that kid was telling the truth?!" He lifted his head for a moment, thinking he'd heard a sob. Damn, he hated being right. "Aw, Keiko…OWOWOWOWOW! KUWABARA!"

"Great work, Urameshi! You made her cry! I ought to castrate you!" Kuwabara knew Keiko was Yuuske's girl, but that didn't mean he didn't delight in sticking up for her and secretly hoping he would meet the girl of his dreams that way. If only more chicks paid attention to his sensitivity to their incessant bitching! (^-^) His meaty fists soundly pummeled the back of Yuuske's head with great force, only earning him reprimanding looks from the females. "Nani?! I was doing my part! He deserves to have his ass kicked for what he did to the vessels! OW! DAMNED LITTLE SHIT!"

Two very familiar, and veeeeeery sexy, yokais seemed to materialize from nowhere, announcing their arrival by a jab to Kuwabara's ass with the point of a well-honed katana. The shorter of the two, also the owner of said katana, had spiky crop of rich black hair atop his head, and piercing eyes any man could easily drown in. "Great," he seethed, examining the katana's tip. "Now I'll have to sanitize the blade again. More work for me."

"Play nice, Hiei," chided the taller and by far more handsome bishounen. He was a god, and to describe him with mortal words would only tarnish such perfection. A godly mane of red hair spilled down his back in a feral downpour, curling to heighten the pleasure of looking him in his emerald-green eyes. His face was round and kindly, and his smile could move a man to tears and confess his sins. Mortal fabrics of cotton, dyed white and red for his alabaster qipao and carnelian trousers and obi cleverly concealed his godly body. His companion dressed in simple black attire, his simplicity complimenting that to the redhead's. To be blessed by the fortune to view them together would have been too much, causing many a fangirls' death by continuous orgasm. (Ewww). "Koenma has sent us here for urgent business. What is it this time?"

Yuuske grinned despite how much trouble he was in. "Probably crapped himself and needs someone to clean it up. That's what this job feels like."

"I assure you, Yuuske, that after today's performance, you ought to beg to clean up my excrement!" Lord Koenma, dear son of King Yemma of the underworld, floated up to the gathering and promptly began his assault. "SUCH GROSS INCOMPETENCE WILL NO LONGER BE TOLERATED BY YOU TWO! YOU HAVE FIVE MINUTES TO CHANGE MY MIND BEFORE YOU'RE REASSIGNED TO BABYSITTING THOSE DAMNABLE-"

Hiei shrugged it off smugly. "Send us. These two bungling blockheads are mere troglodytes with primitive thought patterns. Intellect rivaled only by garden tools, for those of us who need smaller words and spaces." As he spoke, he looked directly to Kuwabara.

Koenma calmed, but only a little. "That's partly why I summoned you, but Kurama is best suited for this type of work." Hiei stumbled a pace, unsure of if he'd heard that correctly. "I'm sorry, Hiei, but Kurama must go this mission alone. To have you accompany him is inviting disaster. We're treading on thin ice as it is, thanks to YOU BUNGLING BLOCKHEADS!" The last part was obviously directed toward Yuuske and Kuwabara.

"I'll do what I must," Kurama said placidly, stepping back as Hiei glared at him.

"You won't go it alone. I'm not risking my kitsune for some mission of this caliber." Unsheathing his katana again, he let it rest idle in his hand, just in case he would have need of it. "Pharaoh Yami and this Bakura character might be very dangerous. How will one of us stand against them?"

"Actually," Botan said mater-of-factly. "Bakura is not as big a threat as he lets on. He's only wanted for a few minor accounts, such as public urination, failure to accept a breathalyzer, and petty theft. The Pharaoh is our butcher. As King, he sent millions of innocent people to their doom or tortured them to death. He is to be locked up for life, and the key to his cell is to be destroyed once he is imprisoned. The Sennen objects were not enough, it would seem."

Koenma nodded solemnly. "Your mission's details are inside this envelope, Kurama. You have three days to complete it, or I send in Yuuske and Kuwabara again. WHICH IS MORE THAN THEY DESERVE, DAMMIT!"

Kurama nodded his head once, a small smile on his face. "There will be no need, Koenma. In three days' time, you shall have your pharaoh and the grave robber." With the details of his mission tucked safely under his arm, our beloved kitsune yokai walked out and to the portal to the mortal world. Hiei followed, looking wounded and angry. There was no way he'd let his kitsune go about alone! Not with the dangers of the mortal world pursuing him! Of course, he wouldn't admit that to anyone but his kitsune. A man has a need to protect his balls, you know.

"Kurama," he growled softly, making the kitsune turn. Against his strong emphasis on dignity, Hiei let his eyes become round and innocent, a pouty lower lip sticking out to further dull Kurama's senses with lust. "You're leaving without me, then? Are you gonna come back?"

Kurama chuckled and stepped up to kneel before his pouting little koibito. "Strictly business, I assure you. When I come home, we'll have fun." Hiei nodded simply, looking more and more like the child Kurama remembered from his days as Youko Kurama [1]. Unable to help it, he put his arms around Hiei and cuddled him soundly, kissing his cheek warmly as though Hiei were leaving for his first day of school. ^-^ "I'll be home soon, Hiei. You can count on it." And then he was gone.

Back in the Spirit Realm, Hiei grinned wickedly. "A little tracking device for my kitsune," he said, looking for a small monitor in his pocket. (RE: Think the Dragon Radar from Dragonball, but not as big or as round.) Sure enough, a small red dot appeared to be moving swiftly through a maze of lines that represented the streets of Domino City. "I'm coming, love."

~$@$~

Ryou sat beneath the largest tree in Domino City Park, trying to collect his thoughts and comfort Yugi. Honda and Otogi had caught up with them and now sat with them to find out what was up and to guard them from Yuuske and Kuwabara, in case they were to show up. Jounounchi was busy; he lost the challenge between himself and Kaiba, and now was paying the piper. Anzu was too busy with her own life, which Yugi was grateful for.

"So you're saying Yuuske and Kuwabara are Spirit Detectives or somethin'?" Otogi questioned incredulously.

Honda, while he believed Yugi and Ryou, was still a touch skeptical. "I dunno, Yug. They might be yankin' your chain with an outlandish story like that."

Yugi shook his head. "They have to be telling the truth. How else would they know about Yami and Bakura? Honda, I want to believe they don't mean any harm, but they might try something that will get someone hurt! They might take Yami and Bakura away! We can't let that happen!"

Otogi shrugged. "Why not? Bakura's one bad egg, and I'd think you'd be glad to be rid of him. All that trouble he causes in and out of the dueling arena, and not to mention how he wants Yami hurt."

Ryou blushed a lover's blush, the very thought of Bakura making his blood thrum and his bottom sore, but in a good way. "To ask me to be rid of Bakura is like asking you to rid yourself of Honda, and the same is for Yugi." Honda and Otogi both did a double take, never imagining their friends' bonds would be so close to their darker entities. "Could you make that choice so readily?"

Feeling playful despite the somber mood, Honda nodded. "Sure. I can't keep the ladies off me!" Otogi growled a warning and fell on top of his koi, giggling and bickering as lovers do. Yugi felt a faint smile on his lips, and Ryou could only chuckle; they both knew Otogi and Honda fought like this to lighten the mood. When they broke for a breather, Honda looked to them with his eyes aglow with passion. "We know what you mean, Ryou. We'll help how we can."

"You can start by making a diversion. Yami and Bakura are coming!" Yugi shrank against the tree he sat under, not liking the anger in Yami's eyes as he entered the park and looked around. Bakura stormed in beside him, his lips curled back in a small snarl that meant trouble for Ryou. "Ryou, empty your mind! Honda, Otogi, please-"

"Relax. We won't breathe a word of it to anyone." Otogi winked roguishly and slapped Honda firmly across his ass, skipping away to create the diversion. Honda gave chase, letting Ryou and Yugi sneak away toward the gates as Bakura and Yami pursued the two lovebirds. They kept running until they could duck into a safe-looking alley to gain a breath, and hopefully gather an idea of how far their yamis were deceived. Yugi chanced a look and peeked out, sweatdropping when he spotted two furious yamis tearing up concrete to reach their hiding space.

"RUN YOU IDIOT!" Yugi shouted, but suddenly found the ground rushing up to meet him.

Hiei grinned happily to himself and put the teens under an enchanted sleep, then whisked them away in a puff of smoke to the Spirit Realm. "I'll show that Koenma who's incapable of what! And my kitsune will be very pleased with me for apprehending them so swiftly. I best get them locked up somewhere safe before they wake and try to escape."

~$@$~

Bakura put on an extra burst of speed as his nostrils filled with a familiar odor. Spirit Realm! "RUN FASTER, PHARAOH!" He recognized the scent of that vanishing smoke! It was a laced with a heavy sleeping potion, something the bounty hunters would use to knock out what they might see as a potentially violent criminal. The smell got stronger as they neared the alley, and another scent filled his nostrils, sending his heart plummeting. Ryou! "RYOU! RYOUUU!"

"Bakura! What about Ryou?!" Yami stopped at the mouth of the alley, watching Bakura kneel to the ground and gently lift the Sennen Ring into his hands. That, aside from a stray tennis shoe roughly Yugi's size, was all that remained in the way of a clue. "Bakura?" Yami's throat was tight and painful. He'd failed to protect his little partner. His aibou…his…his koi…

Bakura touched his lips to the ring and willed the mist from his eyes. "Ryou…" he whispered, his heart aching with guilt and then filling with blind white rage. "Who did this?" he hissed, and made ready to hurl the ring far away. "WHO! DID! THIS! WHERE IS RYOU?! I WILL DESTROY ANYONE WHO DARES HARM SO MUCH AS A HAIR ON HIS HEAD!"

Yami looked about for any signs the culprit may have left. "Calm down, Bakura. They cannot have gotten far, I'm sure. Calm yourself down and help me look for OW! YOU RAT BASTARD!"

"ME?!" Bakura shrieked angrily. "I'LL KILL YOU! IT WAS YOUR LITTLE MEAT PUPPET THAT POISONED MY RYOU'S MIND AND CAUSED HIM TO LEAVE THE HOUSE! I WAS PERFECTLY CONTENT WITH LEAVING HIM HOME SAFELY WITH ME, BUT NOOO! YOUR LITTLE SEX TOY HAD TO CALL JUST AS RYOU AND I WERE ABOUT TO EXPRESS OUR LOVE FOR EACH-!" Bakura suddenly stopped, clapping a hand over his mouth.

Yami knew it wasn't the time or the place, but he smirked to Bakura. "I knew you had feelings for him, you damn liar." Bakura glared openly at him, and Yami gave him a look to say `I won't breathe a word of it to anyone'. "We'll get the boys back. We'll have to work together on this one, which I would think is nothing short of a picnic for you."

"Jokes later. Ryou now." Bakura cradled the ring to his chest and sniffed the air; the powder was thinning off into the wind and was no longer potent. "The smoke in the air was laced with a heavy sleeping powder used on criminals who are viewed as potentially violent. It is most commonly used by those in King Yemma's service. Is any of this making sense?"

The Dark King of Games sweatdropped, then shook his head to clear the confusion from his mind. "No. Why would they use such a thing on our hikaris? And who is King Yemma? And since when did you care if this made any sense to me?"

Bakura growled, but kept calm. "If we're to work together, jackass, then I'd prefer to know the person I'm dragging along is caught up on the situation! Now, King Yemma is Lord of the Underworld. Souls are to be taken for judgment in his palace in the Spirit Realm. Whoever abducted our hikaris no doubt was in pursuit of a dangerous criminal, one highly sought after by the Spirit Realm and Yemma's goons. No doubt our hikaris were caught up in the mess, and now they're being whisked to the Spirit Realm."

"But who would they be after?" Yami asked, his perception clouded by his heavy lack of putting two and two together.

Now Bakura could not stifle his frustration. "US, YOU NINNY! The Spirit Detectives must be out for us, and they nabbed our hikaris instead! Jesus, have you got a brain under that thick candy shell of a skull?! Dammit, why am I stuck with the stupid ones?!"

Yami turned scarlet. "At least you aren't dueling them on a regular basis." Getting back to the subject at hand, the Pharaoh looked around. "How will we get to the Spirit Realm, though?"

"It depends on where you look, Pharaoh." Yami and Bakura turned to come face to face with none other than Kurama, transformed to his bishie silver-haired kitsune-self. "I would not have thought you would go willingly, but since you ask…"

Darkness enveloped their minds. Yami and Bakura slumped to the ground, giving Kurama the freedom to lift them up under his arms and whisk them off to the Spirit Realm neatly.

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[1] As far as I know, thanks to my buddy stormdragon, there is a doujinshi (?) explaining a possible meeting between Kurama and Hiei in the past. As far as I know, Kurama was injured and was also in his silver-haired kitsune (fox) form. Hiei, a child then, brought him water and tried to help him get back to health. Supposedly, Kurama fell in love with Hiei after that. I'm not positive about this, but it was a very adorable, very professional doujinshi that I hope/wish to see again.