Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Aishiteru ❯ Aishiteru ( One-Shot )

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho. Some geniuses in Japan do. Nor do I own AFI. That'd be pretty cool, though, to own a band. I love AFI. And A Perfect Circle. Hey, maybe I could do a fanfic with one of their songs later.

A songfic, duh. Using AFI's The Great Disappointment. I've been trying to write a Kurama/Hiei fic for a while, but couldn't get any plots going, even though I am convinced they are perfect for each other. I mean, not that I don't like a good Karasu/Kurama fic or whatever, but don't you think they were made for each other? Kurama's sweet and nice, but can still be pretty tough, and Hiei's a bad-ass punk with no feelings. That just screams "I love you! Let's spend the rest of our lives together!" Okay, that might not have really made sense, but it does to me. Just live with it.

Aishiteru

I peered over at the corner of my room. My friend Hiei was sitting on the windowsill, eating ice cream. It struck me odd and sorta funny to think of a fire demon eating ice cream, but then again, Hiei was not really normal. I mean, he was supposed to be a koorime, you know, an ice maiden. That always made me laugh, though Hiei never found it very amusing.

As I stared at my schoolwork on my desk, not really looking at it but thinking, Hiei crept up to me and set his bowl down next to me. The noise made me jump, I hadn't been expecting him to be done so soon.

"Had enough, Hiei?" I asked, picking up the bowl. Hiei nodded. "Okay. I'll just go put this in the kitchen." Taking the empty bowl, I walked down the stairs. The house was empty except for me and Hiei; kaasan was out shopping, and my step-father was away on a business meeting. Shuichi, my step-brother, was at one of his friend's houses; it seemed oddly quiet without them all here. Placing the bowl in the sink, I noticed Hiei had left his katana at the table. That was strange, because he usually has it with him everywhere he goes.

Shrugging, I picked that up to take back to him and snuck up to my bedroom. When I opened the door quietly, the first thing I saw was that Hiei was perched on my desk, trying to decipher the homework I had managed to finish before he had gotten here.

I observed him silently. Hiei had the most dazzling ruby colored eyes I had ever seen. His spiky black hair was actually a lot softer than it looked, and I knew he had an amazing body under that cloak. Just looking at him made me ache with lust.

I can remember

A place I used to go

Chrysanthemums of white, they seemed so beautiful

I can remember

I searched for the amaranth

I'd shut my eyes to see

Hiei noticed that I was there, and jumped off my desk, as though horrified to be seen taking an interest in stupid ningen things. I smiled and stuck out his katana.

"You left this downstairs," I told him, letting him take it. He gave his usual reply of `hn' and set his katana on the bed gently. I sat back down at my desk, sneaking glances at the koorime every few seconds. After a minute, Hiei looked at me again.

"Is your mother home?" he asked, saying the most words he had said all night.

"No, kaasan is out," I replied, but started to feel anxious. Why did Hiei care if my mother was home or not? I set down my pencil for the second time and sighed. Do I dare tell him? Tell him about the longing that forms in my chest every time he was near? When he talked to me, or just glanced at me, it made me swell with joy. He made me feel like nothing else mattered, that him and only him was worth living for.

Oh, how I smiled then

So near the cherished ones

I knew they would appear……

Saw not a single one

Oh, how I smiled then

Waiting so patiently

I'd make a wish and bleed

But do I dare tell him? No, he'd laugh. Tell me to stop kidding around and start making sense. Hiei would never show any affection back, any sign of weakness. Kuwabara sometimes said that Hiei didn't have a heart. But I knew he had to have one, or else he would have no concern for his sister, Yukina.

My heart panged when I thought of Hiei's sister. Hiei probably never even thinks of me as a brother, just a partner, for helping on missions and saving the world. He only did it because he was forced to. But, Yusuke had told me that Hiei always seemed to listen to me more than the others. At the time, this made my heart soar, but I figured out it was probably because I was the only other demon on the team.

I should tell him, I thought angrily. What's the worst that can happen, him saying no, that he didn't care for me that way? No, that wasn't the worst thing he could do, perhaps the best. If Hiei ever uttered the word's `you are totally useless' to me like he does to Kuwabara all the time, I think my heart would break.

While I waited I was wasting away

While I waited I was wasting away

It hurt me every day, knowing Hiei was always so close yet so far away. But this was it. I had to do it, or die without fulfilling my dream of revealing everything to Hiei.

"Hiei?"

"Hn?"

My breath caught in my throat. I couldn't do it. Just couldn't.

"Come on, spit it out, kitsune," Hiei mumbled, taking out his katana to polish it. I just sat there. Kitsune. Maybe Hiei doesn't like me in this form. Maybe he liked the fox, the Yoko in me. I cursed myself for having this body. That's why Hiei never showed any interest in me. Because I'm in a stupid ningen body.

No, I can't blame it on my body, or Shiori. Saying I hated this body would be like saying I hated my mother, which was not true. Other than Hiei, she was one of the things I loved most about this world.

I can remember……

Dreamt them so vividly

Soft creatures draped in white

Light kisses gracing me

When I first realized

Dreams were the only place to see them

Hiei cleared his throat. I looked up, startled again. Hiei was sitting on the bed, cloth in hand as he ran it over his sword's blade.

"Sorry?" I murmured.

"I said, I'm going to be gone for a few months. I'm going back to Makai," he said, matter-of-factly.

I stared.

While I waited I was wasting away

While I waited I was wasting away

He was going to go back to the demon world. I couldn't believe it.

"But you just got back from there!" I exclaimed, standing up. "Why does Mukuro need you back so soon!?" Hiei shrugged.

"I don't know. I just follow her orders," he replied. "Well, most of the time."

"But Hiei, you just got better! What are you going to do if you get injured again?" I asked, trying to think up a reason for him to stay in Ningenkai.

"That was a fluke. I'm not going to loose to her again," Hiei growled. I lowered my eyes to the floor and took a deep breath. Oh my god, I was about to do it.

"Hiei, before you go, there's something I need to tell you," I whispered, barely audible to a human's ears, but not Hiei's. Hiei raised an eyebrow.

"And that is……?"

"Hiei, I, I love you."

He didn't respond. The silence was unbearable. I slid onto my knees, staring at the floor. I had done it. Now, only to wait for Hiei's answer. He didn't say anything for another minute, then, as if just registering what he had heard, I heard the clunk of metal hitting carpet. He had dropped his katana. Oh, I'd done it now.

While I waited I was wasting away

Hope was wasting away

Faith was wasting away

I was wasting away

I chanced a look up. Hiei had gone pale and rigid, like what I said was the last thing he was expecting. My eyes started to feel wet; I was on the verge of tears. I knew it. He would never accept me.

But to my great shock, I found Hiei crouching in front of me. He had retrieved his katana and had a hand up to my cheek. I froze.

In that next moment, he kissed me.

After what seemed like an eternity, Hiei broke the kiss and said the four words I never thought would come next.

"I'm so sorry, Kurama………"

In the time that it took for me to blink, Hiei was gone. Probably out the open window, but I didn't move to look. I was right. My heart had broken into tiny little pieces. Everything I had felt for Hiei over the past few years emptied out of me.

And as I kneeled on the hard floor, I wept.

I never, never wanted this

I always wanted to believe

But from the start I'd been deceived

I never, never wanted this

Inside a crumbling effigy, so dies all innocence

But you promised me………

END

---------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------

Not what you were expecting, eh? Well, maybe a bit, but whatever. I'm so sad now, and what's worse, I'm listening to sad music while I write. It's not a good combination. I feel like crying

How sad is that, crying over a cartoon? Yes, I know, they're more than cartoons to true obsessive people like us, but to others, just a cartoon. At least my friend Claire should be happy. She seems convinced that Hiei and Kurama never were and never will be together. Hmpf.

I'm not sure all my Japanese is spelled right. I learned most of it (okay, all) from other fanfictions. How's that for learning other languages? Anyway, if you're a seriously messed up person like me, you'll at least know what I was trying to indicate.