Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Autumn and Child Abuse ❯ Autumn and Child Abuse ( Chapter 1 )

Warnings: This fic will be stupid. Or weird, whatever you want to call it. So: If you're into the type of humor that I'm usually into, which is subtle humor… go elsewhere. This is plain old Stupid Fun.

Disclaimer: rogueicephoenix has been called a genius, but she could never EVER come up with something as wonderful as Yu Yu Hakusho. Togashi, r.i.p. envies you. A lot.

Autumn and Child Abuse

It was autumn. The leaves on the trees had already changed color from a bright green to vivid oranges and yellows and reds. The sight was… enchanting to say the least.

Kurama looked out his window one Sunday afternoon and marveled at the beautiful spectacle. He did this every year, and every year, it never ceased to captivate him. He actually had control over these majestic creations? Seriously?

The answer was yes, of course, and it always was.

"What are you staring at, fox?" Hiei snapped from where he was on his branch.

Observation: Hiei was grumpy.

Hypothesis: The squirrels were bothering him again.

Experiment: One of the squirrels who nested there scuttled up the branch of the tree above Hiei, a few nuts in its mouth. And then-

Plop! Plop-plop!

-it dropped them.

"DAMMIT, THAT'S THE LAST TIME!"

Kurama turned away from the slaughter, determined not to have his day ruined.

~

There was only a week or two left in October and Kurama wasn't exactly looking forward to it. Why? Because the leaves were starting to brown and fall. It was almost painful.

Walking home from school each day was becoming a task. He didn't want to step on the leaves, no matter how "dead" (they would always live on in his heart!) they were. It would be like-like-like stepping on his children!

"Hey there, Kurama," Yusuke said, falling into step beside his fellow Spirit World agent. "D'you know where Hiei is?"

"Yes, he's been sleeping in a tree across the street," the red-head replied distractedly as he tried to skirt the brown leaves, wincing lowly whenever he couldn't avoid it.

"That's good. I told Kuwabara to meet us at your house. We have another case."

"Okay."

When they finally reached the Minamino residence, though, it wasn't "okay." Nothing was "okay". Everything that Kurama knew and cherished was turned upside-down by the scene greeted him, courtesy of the children across the street.

They'd built up a pile of brown leaves and their lawn was now clean. However, the two children had decided to jump into the pile. And they jumped. And they crunched. And they destroyed.

Kurama was hyperventilating.

"Hey, Kura-"

The emerald-eyed 15-year-old ran into the house without any outward regard to the Spirit Detective or the recently arrived Hiei. Concerned about what was wrong with their friend, Yusuke and Hiei followed quick at his heels.

Without even bothering to take off his shoes, Kurama tore into the living room and snatched up the phone, dialing a number that he must have memorized for times like this.

"Hello? Yes, this is an emergency!" A pause. Emerald eyes were quickly filling with tears. "I'd like to report a case of child abuse."

Hiei and Yusuke stared at him before slowly backing out of the room.

Notes: ::Slapping forehead:: The idiocy abounds. That's all I'm gonna say.

Well, no. I'll say that my inspiration for this fic comes from two sources: Princess Krystal01, who wrote a fic similar to this one called Salad Time. My second inspiration: While I was walking home from the train station, skirting the dead leaves (the reasoning is beyond me, too), listening to Good Charlotte, with a printed out picture of Kurama inside my clear folder. I guess I was listening to the song `Murder', `cause something just clicked…

I think I need to drink less caffeine.