Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Balance ❯ Absolutely Absurd ( Chapter 34 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Disclaimer: never let anyone tell you that taking the SATs is a valuable way to spend a Saturday.
Balance
Chapter Thirty-Four: Absolutely Absurd
‘Are you afraid to lose control?’
I am not, he replied indignantly. I am merely accustomed to having it, and it is something of a shock for it to be suddenly wrenched away.
‘You liar. You have known no more control over your own life than a daffodil does over a forest fire.’
He smiled, a little bit. A daffodil, he said. How odd that you would not say a rose.
‘Well, that would not be fair. A rose has thorns with which to defend itself.’
From a forest fire?
‘From whatever harms it.’
You are a thief and a liar. I do not know why I ever thought to trust you.
Fear laughed, a little bit. ‘Why, that is easy, my friend! Because you are a wise man! You know to trust yourself, to make things all right.’
You are not myself, he said in a quiet voice, looking away dramatically.
‘And I thought we had already covered that matter.’
Well maybe we need to cover it again.
Fear took in a great breath and let it out slowly. How long this task had become, especially for a mere thing as teaching a man to accept his fears. They were a normal occurrence, and would be whether he admitted to that or not.
‘Do you or do you not accept your own fears as a natural occurrence?’
He looked to the sky. This world was beginning to change again, to become something more unfamiliar than dirt and shadows. Was he afraid? As this world became something frightening, was he afraid? The changes were all so sudden, all so intimidating, all so new…and was he afraid?
Fear was now his companion, it seemed, attaching itself to his unconscious mind. So what did he, as an individual, have to be afraid of? The unknown? But his entire world was unknown, so did he live in fear of his life itself? Or even the concept of life?
No, that was absolutely absurd! He could not live afraid of life.
He tried to walk forward, but this world made it far too difficult. It was not the same as it had been when this world was created–he could move, after all, it was just the act of walking which was so awkward.
Walking, he said, through a city of cold glass…
‘A city of cold glass in which you are alone,’ said the man in the mirror. ‘A city from which all your friends have been banished, a city where you are no one and you are nothing. A city where you are not special, where you are not unusual, where you are not a lie. Is that not what you always wanted? To be normal?’
The man in the mirror was suddenly beside him, slinking around like a cat, or a snake. He looked pointedly away from this strange man-beast, this creature with cracked red eyes.
‘Or are you afraid? Afraid to be just like everyone else? Afraid not to harbor some secret identity, some dark past full of wickedness? Are you afraid? Are you scared?’
I am not afraid…
‘That is impossible. We are all afraid.’
I am not afraid of you…
‘It is not the wise man whose greatest fear is to be afraid.’
Who is to say?
‘I do not know…’
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“Ha!” Miru cackled as the cement was ingrained into the creature’s body. “I’ve lowered the degree to which you can control him by adding unnatural materials. How do you like that, fox brat?”
Yuusuke looked at her with a twisted expression and cocked his head.
“Kuwabara,” he said.
“Yeah?” Kuwabara replied.
“Did she just explain what she just did, even though she heavily implied it when she said she would add concrete to the wood to lower Kurama’s control?” Yuusuke asked.
“I think she did,” Kuwabara said.
“…did she just call him ‘fox brat’?” Yuusuke asked.
“I think she did,” Kuwabara said.
“She’s crazy.”
“I think she is.”
Hiei, meanwhile, was completely focused on the fight. If he needed to jump in and burn off the cement, he would. He had thoroughly convinced himself that he did, in fact, harbor deep and romantic feelings for Kurama, and he would not let the other die or be captured by this bitch’s hand.
“Come on, Kurama,” he said to himself. “You can still win this fight.”
Miru, meanwhile, had finished her screeching laughter and was singing again, ordering the monster to buck Kurama off. It thrashed and kicked back its haunches, trying to free itself from the burden.
Kurama fiercely gripped the thing’s neck, holding on for dear life and sending his power pulsating through every crevice of wood he could find. The monster seemed distraught, trying to obey its master and throw the intruder from its back as it was compelled by Kurama to stop moving and lay down like a tame kitten. As a result, it stood fairly steadily, merely twitching every once in awhile, which was good enough for the fox. He didn’t need to make it move for him, only to stop moving for her.
Saliva dripped from the thing’s mouth, flying every which way as it tossed its head, baring long fangs. Kurama instantly sent soothing impressions into his ki, hoping to calm the beast before he was thrown off entirely. Or worse yet, smacked in the face with one of those strings of drool. He shuddered at the thought.
It seemed to be calming slightly under his influence…but Miru wasn’t giving up. She was…performing stretches? Clasping her hands behind her back, she held them there and bent her neck down, breathing slowly. Opening her chest? That was odd…wasn’t it?
Not really, all things considered. She was a singer, it was only natural that her chest be flexible and easy for oxygen to flow through.
Meaning…
Oh no.
Kurama thought frantically, trying to come up with something, anything that would let the beast resist Miru’s song. More power? No, he was already running low as it was. A distraction? No, too risky, and it was likely Miru would see through the act. A harness? No, where would he get…a…harness…
That was it! He had almost forgotten about that!
Lashing out with his energy, Kurama snagged the beast’s slender muzzle and threaded it to its chest. Leaving the energy bars there for only a few seconds–it was a weak and risky bond–Kurama snatched up the Rose Whip reins and tugged, hard. The monster yelped, but Kurama didn’t let go. The thorns were digging into its fake skin, the bind was tightening, its resolve was lowered, Miru had yet to release the horrid notes–
Dammit!
If Kurama was having so much trouble with the creature and its own mind, what sort of trouble would he have when Miru began to sing to it? No time to dwell on that–she was opening her mouth, she would sing any second now–this couldn’t be good–no, no, no, just a little longer! He was panicking, afraid, nearly shaking with his fear, but he couldn’t give up, not yet…!
Miru’s voice rang out through the collapsing city, but not in melodious tunes to seduce her tree beast. It was more like a scream? Of terror? Or was it pain? Kurama couldn’t tell, but he looked down as he reassured himself that the monster he sat upon wouldn’t hurl him to the ground. It was quietly whining, trying to wipe the thorns from its face.
Hiei had his sword pressed into Miru’s back, Yuusuke had a Rei Gan at her throat, and Kuwabara held his Reiken over her head. She was sweating liberally, her hands quivering, plastered to her hips.
“One single note falls from your lips,” Hiei growled, “and I promise you, another will not follow it.”
“Y-yes sir,” she said, her voice thin and full of fear. Yuusuke spiked his energy a tiny bit and the blue orb grew brighter.
How funny it was, Kurama thought, that even Miru knew when to submit to her fears. Maybe he could in fact learn something from her.
But was it worth the effort to surrender after such a hard fought battle? The odds had been so in her favor, and yet Kurama’s experience and cunning had allowed him to win. But he had cheated, in fact, that was how he won. He brought friends where she had none.
And didn’t she deserve to die in such a manner? Her obsessions had forced this out of him, and had forced her to live a life of secrecy, constantly on the run for fear he would track her down and find her and, of course, kill her. She was impressive to have come so far with her apparently meager power in such a short time. She was to be commended…if it weren’t for her habit of framing famous thieves for crimes she herself had committed.
And this creature, this peculiar half-breed thing? It did not deserve the life it was destined to lead. Patting its neck, Kurama leapt from the thing’s back and landed on the ground with only a small stumble. The Rose Whips remained around its muzzle, a brutal harness. Could he kill it? The hide was tough to begin with, and had only been made tougher by the addition of concrete and remnants of steel from the pavement. More importantly, if he got the chance, would he kill it? It was clearly strong and able enough to care for itself in the wild, but it seemed altogether unhappy to be alive.
Damn these moral dilemmas, with their unclear morals and conflicting viewpoints. Kurama steadied himself on the stones beneath his feet and walked over to where his friends had Miru planted firmly in place.
“Thank you,” he said quietly, “but I believe I can take it from here.”
Yuusuke and Kuwabara backed away instantly, and Hiei followed after a hesitant moment. Kurama smiled thankfully at him.
Miru instantly relaxed into a “ready to run” pose. Kurama’s sharp glare told her that would not be a bright idea at the moment, and she tensed slightly.
“I have you at my mercy, I hope you know,” he said icily, despite his slightly unsteady base. Fear glinted in Miru’s previously mocking eyes, though what was an act, Kurama couldn’t tell.
“I-I know,” she stumbled, “please. I beg of you, have mercy.”
That got a little chuckle out of Yuusuke.
“Hey, Kurama,” he said wickedly. “You believe in mercy, don’t you?”
Kurama frowned, his gaze caught halfway between his prey and his friend. Yuusuke leaned back slightly, sensing that he had said quite the wrong thing, but knowing he couldn’t take it back now. Kurama shook his head.
“No,” he said coolly. “I don’t. Especially,” he continued suddenly, glaring sharply at Miru, “not for you.”
Miru stiffened slightly, sweat beginning to bead on her brow. She quietly hummed a tuneless song.
“Silence,” Kurama snapped. Miru yelped and quieted her hum.
The beast, meanwhile, had successfully scraped off Kurama’s Rose Whips so that only thorns of them remained, attached to threads of the vine and stemming the flow of blood. It whined softly and Kurama felt a sharp twinge of pity. The thing may have tried to kill him, but it hadn’t asked to live a life of this sort. Plenty of others had tried to kill him in the past, anyway, and he had never killed them simply out of spite; no, always as a means of survival.
Feeling a surprising bout of empathy, Kurama climbed and jumped up to the creature’s back and crawled up on its crown, sitting there and petting its harsh skin.
“Don’t worry,” he said softly. “It will be all right. Just don’t move too much and everything will be over soon.”
The creature whimpered again and Kurama drew a seed from his hair. He carefully removed one of the thorns, sappy blood beginning to flow almost at once, and inserted the seed into the wound. He pinned the thorn back in place to keep the seed from leaking out along with the blood and continued stroking the beast’s head in a calming manner.
“Just a little longer,” he assured it. “Don’t be afraid. You’ll be a beautiful monument when this is all over.”
The creature licked its chops and began to restlessly scratch at its muzzle. Kurama chuckled sadly.
“All right now,” he said. “Are you ready?”
The creature wailed loudly, its mouth open as though in a yawn. Kurama smiled at it.
“Die.”
In the split second between the keyword and the attack’s beginning, Kurama slid from the creature’s back and strode away a few steps. Rooted in already nature-based soil, the plant flourished easily and exploded into a more beautiful rose than Kurama had ever seen. Glittering brilliant red and stained with flecks and jagged stripes of black, the flower was truly a sight to behold.
“Miru!” Kurama barked. The girl stood at attention, hands flat against her hips and mouth clamped shut.
Kurama walked closer to her, very much resembling a cat in his slinking pace. He drew his Rose Whip and flicked it playfully, snapping it near her head and making it curve around her waist.
“You deserve a fate worse than death for all you have done to me,” he said bitterly. “You deserve to writhe and burn in the very pits of Hell, stripped of everything but your ability to feel pain, subjected to unimaginable torment for millions of uncountable years.”
He cracked his whip again.
“Do you even know the sort of torment your stupid games put me through? I spent every spare moment looking for you!” Kurama accentuated his words with a dangerously close range snap of the thorny weapon, scratching the very surface of her skin and drawing a single drop of blood.
“Fantasizing about your death!”
Another drop of blood fell to the ground.
“Plotting ways to catch you!”
Another drop. Then another, and another.
“Waiting for the moment,” he said amidst nearly heaving breaths, “when I would finally be freed from this nightmare, when I could finally be at peace, and when you would never cause suffering to anyone ever again!”
This time, a long gash appeared along Miru’s cheek. It was thin, but unattractive; not like the scars of bravery seen in so many cartoons and movies. Against Miru’s already plain façade and plainly toned skin, it was a blemish soon to fade.
“Are you going to kill me?” she asked fearfully.
Kurama raised his whip mightily, preparing to strike her down, when suddenly he found himself frozen in place.
“What the–”
Miru barked a short laugh and leapt backwards, her face still scratched and her neck still bleeding. She teetered on her feet just a slight bit, perhaps a remnant of her time in the stratosphere, perhaps a reflection of the blood loss she had suffered.
“I knew it!” she howled. “I knew you would drop your guard some time! I knew my song would come in handy, you idiot! You never should have let yourself become distracted!”
Distracted?
Kurama blinked. When had he been…
Of course.
When he had tended to the monster and its pathetic wails.
Miru must have been singing. He wouldn’t have heard her over the beast’s crying, and his friends would have been watching him in case the thing suddenly bucked and tried to throw him again. She was a sly one, to be sure, but now he was in quite a fix. Stuck in place, he couldn’t help his friends, and who knew how long the spell would last? And she would likely use it on Hiei and the others, and that would just lock them all together and then where would they be left? Completely at her mercy, that was where.
“Now…I know that as the noble warrior I should…stay and fight you,” she heaved. “But frankly…I’m a little drained right now, so we’ll…have to take a rain check on that one.”
Straining, Kurama managed to speak through gritted teeth. “A rain check–”
“Yup!” she interrupted with a cheesy grin, flashing the “V for Victory” sign. “So I’ll get back to you, sweetie!”
Kurama struggled to twitch his finger, to turn his neck, to tap his foot, to do something, to do anything, but the power of the choir was far too sturdy to be broken by mere willpower. Miru, meanwhile, was singing–if you wanted to call it that–a strong tune, ringing of the earth beneath the concrete she stood on, a song of power and invisible notes and chords. As they all watched, stuck with their eyes on her, she seemed to melt into the ground as it parted underneath her.
“Coward!” Kurama snarled. “Free us and come back! This fight is–”
But as he tried to yell to her, Miru disappeared completely and the ground closed itself back up. As soon as it was mended, the fighters all fell out of their rigid poises and tripped over themselves, falling onto the ground. Kurama nearly bit his own tongue.
He sat for a moment in complete silence, entirely still, and the others hesitated to get close.
Without warning came an explosion of rage.
“That bitch!” he screamed, punching the ground. Yuusuke and Kuwabara stepped even further back at this outlandishly out of character action, but Hiei took a few tentative paces closer. Kurama stood, seething with rage.
“How could she do this to me? I was so close–tantalizingly close! And then she just…just up and ran! Such a cowardly brat!”
Yuusuke and Kuwabara kept their distance, but by now, Hiei had come so close to Kurama that he could grab his arm and hold it still, trying to catch the fox’s attention.
“I hate her!” Kurama screamed, turning on Hiei with wild eyes. Hiei jerked back abruptly, resisting the urge to shield his face.
He may as well try, Hiei reasoned. If he did nothing, Kurama was liable to hurt him, or hurt himself. That would not be allowed.
“Kurama,” he said, trying to speak softly. This didn’t go over well with the spirit, who turned on Hiei and raised his hand as though to strike. Hiei grabbed this other arm, as well, effectively stopping all of Kurama’s movement except for an occasional futile writhing.
“Kurama, you know this isn’t…eh…this isn’t you. You aren’t like this. You’re not so loud and unfocused. Kurama, just try to calm down…please?”
Kurama blinked rapidly, several times, as though to clear his vision and thereby his mind. It worked…sort of.
“Hiei?” he said wonderingly. Hiei nodded, encouraged.
“Yes,” he said helpfully. “That’s right. Are you…feeling all right, Kurama?”
Kurama looked at his raised arm and his eyes widened with disbelief. His jaw hung slack for a moment as he came to realization.
“I was…I was about to–to hit you?” he said. Hiei nodded again.
“Yes, Kurama, but it’s all okay now. You didn’t hit me, and I don’t take any offence. You were out of your mind. It wasn’t your fault.”
The fox’s struggle went slack, and Hiei released his arms. This may not have been the wisest maneuver, as Kurama would have collapsed to the ground if Hiei had not caught him just in time. Cradling Kurama’s head in his lap, Hiei looked back at the detective and his friend, nodding for them to come over.
“You feeling okay, Kurama?” Kuwabara asked worriedly as they came within hearing range. Kurama looked up and nodded.
“Yes…but what happened to Miru? She couldn’t have simply disappeared…could she?” For a moment, Kurama looked almost fearful. “I didn’t think the power of the choir was quite that strong.”
Hiei shook his head.
“It’s not. She’s still out there, somewhere.”
Kurama turned his gaze away from Hiei’s face, looking out to the destroyed city, and nodded.
“She always will be, won’t she?”
None of them knew quite what to say to that.
“…I think so, Kurama.”
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Ki: energy
Rei Gan: Spirit Gun
Reiken: Spirit Sword
Really quick before the other note: this is not the last chapter. It is possibly the penultimate chapter, but I will just have to see how things roll from here.
Note: does anyone remember in some Harry Potter book, I forget which one, Dumbledore tells Harry that his greatest fear is fear itself, which is a valuable asset or a wise choice or something? So then at the end of the dream segment, the man in the mirror tells Kurama that it is not wise to be afraid of being afraid? See how they’re linked? Excellent.
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