Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Before I Die ❯ Chapter 21

Author's Notes: Writers block plus the inability to concentrate = MUST SMASH NOW!

 

If you're wondering why this one is getting so much attention lately, it is because I am hell bent on completing it. =P

 

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The next morning Touya woke up, he found Jin sitting at the bedside with his back turned to him. He still felt a bit awkward about wanting to talk to the redhead as he pulled the covers from his body to sit upright in bed. “Jin….”

 

Hearing his name, Jin closed his eyes tightly not wishing to respond to his lover. He lowered his head further in sadness with a deep sigh. With his ears back to normal, he could hear the ice master coming closer to him. The feel of his cold hand upon his shoulder, Jin reached up to place his on top of it. “You're not truly thinking of going through with what you just said last night…are you?”

 

“Jin, I am sorry,” Touya whispered. “I know it is hard for you to understand, but I cannot fight this illness anymore. All I am going to be is the doctor and shaman's guinea pig, and I cannot stand it.”

 

Jin pulled from Touya at what he had to say still. “Were you lying to me?” He demanded to know quietly between the two of them.

 

“What?” Touya asked with a confused expression. “What are you talking about?”

 

“You promised me that we would always be together,” said Jin as he stared off into the darkness of their room lit only by the sunlight of that morning. He held onto himself to embrace his shaking body. “I cannot believe you're giving up now!” Jin spun around quickly to stare down his partner. “Why are you giving up!”

 

Touya didn't wish to express that his True Water Rune was somewhere nearby right under their noses. He didn't want someone to sacrifice themselves just to release the barrier on it, so he could have a possibility of living. He avoided Jin's furious eyes, closing his with an expression full of cold seriousness. “I have my reasons. I am sorry I cannot give them to you just yet, but you have to trust me on this one.”

 

Jin clutched his fists in anger before turning around to storm out of the room. Slamming the door behind him, he made his way past Piper and Dr. Sur'don who were just about to go to talk to the demons. When Piper attempted to stop Jin, she withdrew the notion as she saw the furious glare in his eyes when he passed her.

 

“My goodness, I wonder what is wrong?” Piper said aloud to the doctor once Jin left the inn hallway.

 

“I am not sure, and I don't want to stop that demon to find out, so let's ask the other one,” Dr. Sur'don insisted as he knocked on Touya and Jin's bedroom door. “Touya, are you still in there? I need to talk to you.”

 

Touya sighed heavily as he ran his fingers through his hair. “Come in.” He watched as the doctor and young Grassland woman slowly made their way inside. “Saw Jin on the way here, I suppose.” He could tell that they were walking rather nervously towards him. Touya sat back down on Jin's rather messy bed. “I am sorry about that. It was something I said and that I have decided.”

 

“Dare I ask what it is you have decided to cause him to react such a way?” Dr. Sur'don wandered as he joined the ice demon on the bed.

 

“Doctor, I do appreciate everything you and the shaman have done for me,” Touya expressed. He sighed heavily in attempts to keep himself together. “But, after a talk with the shaman last night, I think I might be better off just letting this sickness take its course and have it be done with.” He heard Piper gasp at his decision and the doctor seemed to even admit his shock silently as well.

 

“Are you sure this is what you want?” Dr. Sur'don asked, as he didn't want the patient to pass even if it was a creature he feared. When he witnessed Touya nod, he looked off to the side thinking about Jin. “Touya, I am not blind to what is going on between you two. I know it is frowned upon by most to be with the same gender, but…as I see it, the one you love is suffering over your decision. Do you think this is wise?”

 

Touya huffed lightly through his nostrils as he tightened his grip on his baggy pants he had on. “I've been thinking of him for a long time. I have been trying to live for his sake, but I just cannot do it anymore.” He seemed to look away in shame at having to admit such a thing.

 

The doctor witnessed Piper cover her mouth in shock at what Touya had to say about it all. “Well then, as your doctor for the time being, I will respect your wishes, and I will make sure that your death is not so painful.” Dr. Sur'don removed himself from Touya's side with a sigh. “I will stop giving you the treatment I was giving you prior. If anything is hurting you to the point you need medicine or something, just let me know.” He was about to leave the ice master alone but stopped just down the steps of the bedroom. “You do realize you're going to be bedridden until the sickness takes you, right?” His fingers tapped against the wooden pillar within the room.

 

The icy orbs of the ice master shifted about the floor. He wanted to be free of the bedroom, but he was aware the only way that would truly happen was if he were to die. “I know,” he whispered for them to hear.

 

Jin was outside trying to calm himself down after Touya's realization of what he wanted to do with himself. He was sitting upon a rock formation deeper within the forest listening to the birds chirp peacefully and the water flow down the stream not but a few feet from him. “I hate this…dammit, Touya, you're so damn stubborn!” He growled to himself. Hearing a twig snap caught the wind master's attention. He snapped his attention over in the direction of the sound with a low growl. “Who is there?”

 

Neleen made her appearance just behind the demon. She looked rather concerned when she came into the sunlight. “Jin, are you okay?” She asked, keeping her distance from the obviously angered demon. She placed her back to the tree Neleen had been hiding behind. When the wind demon didn't answer, she sighed heavily. “I know why you're upset.” The eyes of Jin upon her, she rolled her teeth over her lower lip. “I heard you last night when I was out patrolling.”

 

Jin was quiet, as he felt a bit embarrassed to have someone catch him at such a vulnerable time. “You heard that, hu?” He removed himself from where he was sitting to make his way over towards the lake to just gaze within it.

 

“He told the shaman what he wanted to do,” Neleen went onwards. “But I never heard anything about it until your outburst last night…I think I have an idea what he may have chosen.”

 

“He wants to die,” Jin answered somberly as he picked up a nearby pebble to toss it across the lake water. “He doesn't want to bother with the fact he could possibly fight off the disease, he wants to just sit there and die!” He growled angrily upon the last word before tossing another pebble into the water.

 

Neleen accepted some of the bravery returning to her as she slowly advanced towards the wind master. “You do know that while we could probably work on fighting off the illness, we would eventually grow old and die while you both continued to live forever. There is no way to truly cure what has a hold of your friend.” Jin was silent after what she had to say. Nervously she placed her hand upon his shoulder. “But, I do know there is probably a way to make this better.”

 

Jin's ears perked up quickly upon her comment. He turned to her with eagerness to hear more. “What-what is it? Tell me!”

 

She waved over towards the village. “Come. I cannot afford to say this aloud as there are too many ears that may hear it.” Neleen grabbed Jin's wrist gently and helped him through the woodlands back to the main village. Her house was a one-story and almost to the very back of Alma Kinan. Opening the door for him, she closed it behind her before moving to the windows to move the curtains over them. Her fingers held onto the drapes for a bit on the last window she was to conceal, thinking about it all. “What I talked about with Touya—I don't want you to repeat it to him, okay? I think it is wise if he thinks you don't know about it.”

 

Jin shrugged as he placed his hands on his thighs. “I am listening. What is it?”

 

Neleen made her way to the sofa Jin was sitting upon with her hands in her lap. “I told Touya that I knew he once held a powerful rune, and I was curious what it was. He told me it was the True Water Rune, and we found that rune a good while ago.”

 

The wind master was nearly left dumbfounded under that statement alone. “You-you have his rune? You have the one thing that can heal him!”

 

She raised her hands as if to lower his voice and keep him quiet. “Yes, but there are catches to this, Jin.” Neleen went on to explain the exact same thing she and the shaman did prior to Touya, resulting in the ice master's decision. Hearing of the illness curing him but possibly leaving him permanently damaged from it, Jin's hope faded just as Touya's did. “Now do you see why he chose what he did?”

 

Lowering his head, Jin shook it with a heavy sigh. “I wish he had told me this,” he mostly mumbled to himself though Neleen could hear him. “But, he knows I would take care of him with whatever would harm him afterwards. He knows that…he should know that.”

 

“You care a lot for your friend,” Neleen seemed to say in wonder and quiet shock. “I am sure you didn't want to come all this way just to have it be in vain. The thing is…I can release the magical lock upon the door, but I have to wait for the next full moon to do so as well as be ready for such a task with the others.” She carefully reached over to touch Jin's hand. “If you are willing to wait, I will try my best to focus on this ritual, and you can go into the temples alone to find his rune.”

 

“If you get that lock down, I will walk through the temples a thousand times over just to get that rune if I have to,” Jin said seriously. He clutched his fists at the mere thought.

 

Neleen nodded at what he had to say. “Alright. I will have to talk to the shaman to see about a few things.” She opened the door for Jin to leave her house so she could prepare herself emotional for such a thing. “Demons are interesting creatures,” she said almost randomly as Jin was making it down her wooden steps. “You think all they care for are themselves and anything they can get their hands on. But even you two can prove not all beings are born as to what they appear.”

 

“We were born evil,” Jin answered, as he peered over his shoulder. “But what was born in sin can still find the light. That is what I like to believe.” With that said, the wind master headed back to the inn to find Touya.

 

Upon arriving, he made it to his bedroom to find no trace of Touya. He looked about the double bedroom confused. “Touya?” He called as he walked further into the empty space. “I wonder where he went.”

 

“He's not here,” called Piper from the bedroom door. “He went out to look about the village some more.” With her hands before her dress, she fidgeted slightly. “Touya said he wanted to look at the world a bit more before it is too late for him.” Piper caught the sorrowful look on Jin's face at the mere mention of such a thing. Her own heart stung in pain for the two. “Jin, I am sorry.”

 

“I need to find him.” Jin straightened up upon this moment. Heading out onto the balcony, he took quickly to the skies without another word to Piper. Feeling where the demon's energy was located, he made his way there deep within the woodlands.

 

With his knees to his chest and his chin upon his knees, Touya was merely gazing out at the world he knew he would be unable to see for some time. “The dark path you spoke of, Elder,” he whispered to himself, “is this what you were referring to? You made it sound like I deserved it.” The wind began to blow about his bi-colored hair causing Touya to lift his head slightly in intrigue before realizing who it was. “Jin?”

 

“I am glad I found you.” Jin landed and made his way over to Touya to hug him tightly without a second thought.

 

Touya expressed his confused face before pushing back a bit from the tight hug. “Jin, what has gotten into you all of a sudden?” When he was free from the wind demon's embrace, he straightened out his shirt, which got all wrinkled in the process.

 

“I am going to set everything straight,” said Jin as he held onto Touya's upper arms as if to keep him still. The ice demon obviously didn't want to be touched as he shot Jin a rather irritably look of wanting to be let go. “I promise you this.”

 

Rolling his eyes and shrugging at Jin's incoherent babble, Touya crossed his arms over his chest. “Do I want to know what has gotten into that air headed mind of yours?”

 

Jin shook his finger slightly at the mere thought of spilling a secret he was asked to keep. “I am not allowed to say just what yet, but I do make that promise, and I intend to keep it.”

 

Touya looked about on the ground as if to gather his thoughts before gazing back at his partner. “Jin, do you not want to hear what I have to say about the matter?” With Jin going quiet to let him say what needed to be said, Touya rubbed his upper arms with a heavy sigh. “I just want you to be there while I go through this. All I want is you there, okay?”

 

“Why would I be anywhere else?” Jin asked with a quizzical look.

 

Lowering his arms, he opened them for the wind demon to be more inviting about a hug this time. “Just promise me that,” he whispered against Jin's chest. “I can take being killed swiftly by a sword or any foe, but not when I am going to be slowly dying. A swift death would be better then this.”

 

Jin embraced Touya tightly, resting his chin upon his soft hair with his eyes closed tightly. “I wouldn't leave you during such a time. I promise. If I ever did, it would be to find you hope.” Upon saying that, all Jin could think about was the information Neleen had given him. A smile gracing his lips, he nuzzled into Touya's hair contently with his eyes closed.

 

 

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The months that slowly passed seemed to be agonizingly slow for Jin and Touya both. With each passing week, Touya seemed to be getting worse again as he refused to accept any help or medicine from anyone. He wanted the sickness to take its course, and he was serious about that. Jin every day went to Neleen to ask about the ritual she needed to perform only to get the same response of giving it some time. He sat on the bedside by the ice master making sure Touya was at least comfortable. Later that evening, he found the demon stirring and moaning in a bit of misery.

 

“Touya?” He called as he reached over to touch his forehead. Jin found it to be rather warm, as the ice demon was obviously sweating profusely. Knowing it had to be the heat getting to him, he quickly got to his feet and grabbed the bowl he usually filled with cold water as instructed to do so. Running out of the inn and into the woods, he made it to the closest stream to fill it back up as it had all become lukewarm. “Come on; come on,” he mumbled to himself as he got the water back in the bowl, so he could fly back to Touya.

 

Landing back at the inn, he put the bowl down near the floor after dipping a towel within it to place upon Touya's forehead. The shock of the cold caused Touya's eyes to fly open and take in a deep breath. “J-Jin…?” He wondered as he gazed over at his partner. “What happened?”

 

“You were burning up,” said Jin with concern as he touched the back of Touya's head. “Are you feeling any better?”

 

Sitting upright in the bed, Touya removed the cloth for a moment to dab in certain places on his face that might lighten the horrible feel on his skin. “Yeah, I should be okay.” He sighed heavily, putting the towel away back in the bowl. “Thank you, Jin.”

 

“You're getting worse with each passing day.” Jin's tone was obviously filled with concern and worry. “I don't know why you feel you must go through with this.”

 

Touya knew Jin still wasn't very accepting of his decision, but as far as the ice demon knew, Jin knew nothing about the ritual required to break the seal on the door holding his rune. “I have my reasons,” said Touya after a small period of silence. “And for that, I am sorry.”

 

“So damn stubborn,” growled Jin angrily as he clutched his fists. “Leave it to me to have to watch you suffer!” With that in mind, he turned away from Touya and walked back out of the inn to get some fresh air and try to relax. He didn't want to explode on Touya given his condition. The fresh air gracing him, Jin leaned against the wooden pillar structure holding up part of the inn just down the steps. He knew he couldn't take much more of this, but he couldn't rush Neleen either. Not in the mood for walking around by himself, he stayed where he was, gazing up at the setting sun.

 

Piper was coming back from her time at the market when she happened to spy the redhead outside. “Jin?” She wondered as she made her way up to the demon. “What is wrong?” Her dainty hands held the woven basket rather sternly, hoping for the best response when it came to him.

 

“Touya is still…in bad shape,” answered Jin as he refused to look Piper in the eyes. He tried not to put so much force on the wooden structure being clawed at slightly by his nails thanks to nervousness, knowing he could possibly bring it down. “I just don't know what to do anymore. This used to be so easy for me, as I was used to it all before.” Jin's eyes swirled with tears he refused to let slide down his cheeks. “But once he was getting better, I thought everything would be back to the way it was, you know?”

 

Thinking about the situation, a brief smile dawned Piper as she came to an idea. “You used to tell me back when Touya was bedridden, he would read a good bit of the time. Jin, you can read to him now.” She came a bit closer to the demon now staring at her. “Just find a book and give it a go! I have no doubt you'll do well.”

 

Jin closed his eyes as if to ignore that suggestion all together before smiling at remembering at how much Touya did enjoy reading. “You're right. Maybe I should give it a try. He hasn't heard me read though he knows I cannot.”

 

Piper merely nodded glad she could inspire the demon. “I am sure you have enough books on you to cycle through. I'll fix us something to eat tonight. We can all eat together when you're both finished.”

 

“Thank you, Piper.” Jin made his way back into the inn, heading back to the room he and Touya both shared. He opened the door slowly to find Touya there in bed upright, appearing to be thinking about something. “Touya?” He called from the doorway before entering the room. Catching the attention of the ice master, he slowly made his way over towards him. “I am sorry about storming out. I just-I don't want you to die.”

 

Touya didn't turn to Jin right away. He continued to gaze out at the balcony. “Jin, do you remember when the elder back at my village told me he could see me going down a dark road?” He finally looked to Jin with a deep sigh. “Well, I think that is the road he was referring to. As soon as I left the village, I was to be viaticum to this fate. There was no way to escape it.” Coughing harshly, he covered his mouth only to have blood splatter his hands lightly as he did so.

 

Rushing to Touya's side, he grabbed a glass of water to give to him. “Just drink it. It will make you feel better.” The ice demon appeared to refuse as he gently pushed away the item. “Touya, stop being stubborn!” When the coughing lessened, Touya finally accepted the glass Jin held. “I swear, you're going to give me a heart attack one of these days.”

 

“I'll be fine,” Touya assured him as he shifted his icy orbs up at the wind demon. He couldn't help but find the chest of his companion rather inviting as he rested his head upon it. “Even though you are not happy with my decision, I am glad you are here.”

 

Jin hid his fake smile while Touya rested upon his chest. “I know you don't like being stuck in this room, so I brought you something.” Pulling out a book he had in the stash that they brought with them, he showed the informative book to Touya with the biggest smile he could offer given the circumstances. “I thought you might like it, because it tells of the outside world beyond the Grassland Clans and Zexen cities.”

 

Touya chuckled lightly, closing his eyes. “Jin, I am too weak to even considering opening up a page and reading it.”

 

“That is why I am going to read it for you,” said Jin as he pressed the leather book cover to himself, mindful of Touya's head.

 

Hearing him announce such a thing caught Touya off guard. He looked up at Jin with a raise of his brow. “You can read now?”

 

“Don't act so surprised now!” Jin insisted, feeling almost offended by his remark.

 

“I meant no offense,” said Touya with a light chuckle against his hand. “I just-I never expected you to take the time to learn to read for whatever reasons.”

 

“I wanted to it in case you couldn't find the energy to do so,” said Jin honestly. He smiled at Touya's surprised expression, holding him closer to his body. “As much as I didn't want that moment to come, I knew I had better be prepared for it in case it did.”

 

Touya covered up his surprised expression, realizing he was gawking too much, upon shifting his head downwards with a slight grin. “I know I can always count on you to make me feel better even when I am at my worst.” Closing his eyes, he listened to Jin read the words about the worlds overseas and beyond the boundaries of their clans and stonewalls belonging to Zexen. Having someone read to him for a change was a nice breather, as he closed his eyes and found himself being lulled to sleep by the sound of Jin's voice.

 

 

 

Jin remained with Touya throughout most of the evening. He too even found himself dozing off at one point while he absentmindedly stroked Touya's hair. The sound of someone coming towards their room caught the wind demon's acute hearing as he opened his eyes just in time to see the door slowly open to reveal Neleen. He sat upright in bed to show he sensed her prior and wasn't asleep. “Neleen, is that you?”

 

“Jin, I need to speak to you,” she urged in a whisper, waving him over through the shadows of the room.

 

Moving himself cautiously from Touya, he made sure his companion was helped down to the bed for the time being and covered up before tiptoeing across the floorboards to the door. “What is it?” He asked as he made his way into the hallway with her.

 

“I need to speak to you outside,” Neleen insisted as she headed towards the exit of the inn. The shaman woman silently made it through the building filled with a few people who were asleep, making sure not to disturb anyone. Her boots hitting the cool grass, she waited for the front door to be closed behind Jin before speaking. “Tomorrow night will be the dawning of the next full moon I need to perform the ritual I have in mind to do. I will be able to do it and release the seal upon the door, but it will be up to you to break the seal on the True Water Rune.”

 

“How do I do such a thing?” Jin pondered as he cupped his chin in thought and tapped his foot lightly upon the ground. “I don't have any special abilities other then the wind I control, and I doubt that is going to help.”

 

Neleen closed her eyes to concentrate on her vision before gazed up at the towering demon before her. “You will be able to. With the love you have for your friend, I have no doubt you will find a way.” Rubbing her upper arms, she seemed to be rather nervous about something with the way she presented herself. “Regardless of what happens, Jin, I truly hope you and your friend make it through this.”

 

Jin raised his brows slightly wondering why she was talking the way she was. “If you have something you need to tell me, please do.”

 

She shook her head before turning away. “No, it isn't important. Do not worry about me. Please, focus on the time you have with your friend. No matter what, I don't want there to be any regrets between you two.”

 

He watched in the moonlit night as Neleen hurried off back to her house. A major part of him was relieved but also worried regarding her words to him as well as her actions. Either way, Jin knew he had a long journey ahead of him, and he had better be prepared. Turning around, he headed back to the inn for the night to get packed for leaving.