Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ BITE ME! (The Princess Bride, Yu Yu Style) ❯ Karasu, Kurama and Three Thugs ( Chapter 2 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

DISCLAIMER: We own nothing.

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Chapter 2

(Next morning at the castle)

Li: to staff Good morning, guys! You're all on time for once! Congratulations!

Everyone cheers loudly, and once they are quiet Li speaks again

Li: Coffee and muffins are on the card tables by the trailers, if you're hungry. Okay, we shoot in three hours, so we need to get ready. In layman's terms…eat muffins, drink coffee, bring the script, edit the script, practice lines, get prettier, get smarter, get to your places, shoot the scenes, go home, sleep. Get up, do it again. That's the agenda for today. Now let's get started.

At once, the place becomes loud and chaotic as makeup artists, cameramen, and actors start scurrying around. Over by the tables, Adara eats a muffin and points to various parts of the script Ava holds.

Adara: I think we need to cut this part out, because it doesn't seem like we need it. And then this part here, I just added a bit. That idiot who plays Humperdink—Karasu?—was too stupid to memorize this part, so I shortened it to two lines instead of four, and the words are smaller. It's not that I didn't like it, Ava, so no offense.

Ava: None taken. Let's all face it. Karasu is an idiot.

Li: overhears them, and nods I know, but he was good at being an arrogant snob and a coward. It came so naturally to him that I had to cast him for the part. Is that all the corrections?

Adara: Yep, unless you want something else changed.

Li: Nope, I like it. We'll shoot this tomorrow, so you two—

Suddenly, the three were interrupted by shouts

Unknown Person: HEY! THAT WAS MY FAVORITE SHIRT! I'M GONNA KILL YOU, BOTON!

Li: sighs You guys go run interference over there, okay? I gotta go check on the people in wardrobe. I swear, if they lose the eye shadow one more time…

(Outside Hiei's trailer)

Kurama: Hiei? Koi? Are you in there?

Hiei: jerks awake at the sound of Kurama's voice and stumbles out of bed, grabbing his sword What the hell, K'rama?

Kurama: Hiei! We're shooting in three hours! Why aren't you up? They need you in makeup!

Hiei: Huh? Shoot? Wha? Why? I dunno my lines…tired…where is the bathroom?

Kurama blinks, and points

Hiei: Meh… mutters and stumbles into the bathroom

Kurama: takes a seat on the bed, and hums quietly La…la la la la la…la la la la la…la la la la la…laaaaaa…”

Hiei: comes out of the bathroom, his face dripping wet Cold water…

Kurama: You look like a cat who got dropped in a lake, Hiei.

Hiei: Grrr…go screw yourself, Kurama.

Kurama: pouts But that's no fun…. suddenly looks as if he had gotten an idea, and moves toward Hiei It's more fun with you!

Hiei: Wha…Kurama, we don't have time for that!

Kurama grabbed Hiei and kisses him

Hiei: pulls back Th-the movie can wait. dazedly

Half an hour later, Hiei and Kurama stumble out of the trailer to find Li, Ava and Adara waiting for them

Li: ABOUT FRIGGIN' TIME! WHAT THE HECK WERE YOU DOING IN THERE?

Ava: stares at the Hello Kitty shirt Hiei is wearing Hiei? Were you wearing that shirt when Kurama went in?

Hiei: laughs, looking dazed Heh heh heh…no…heh heh…heh…

Adara: suddenly gets a look of dawning comprehension Wait…you guys didn't…in the trailer…did you?

Kurama: grins Of course not. We just had a very serious make out session.

Karasu: racing over Hiei! You're wearing my shirt!

(Shooting time)

Li: Okay, places everyone! shouts No…Karasu…I assure you, the stone will hold…no, that outfit does not make you look fat…yes, I know you're afraid of heights…just don't look down…okay? You're good? All right. And…ACTION!

XXX

Karasu stood on a balcony overlooking the thronging crowd below. “My people…”

“WHAT!” His People shouted.

“Um…nothing. I was going to tell you something, but now I'm going to tell you something else.” The prince cleared his throat. “A month from now, our kingdom shall celebrate its five hundredth anniversary. On that sundown, I will marry a man who was once a commoner like yourselves.”

Karasu's speech was interrupted when a tiny old woman with straggly shoulder length grayish-pink hair threw a tomato at him, hitting him square in the face and splattering tomato juice in his hair. “SCREW YOU, YOU ARROGANT BASTARD!”

“Genkai?” Karasu yelled. “What are you doing here? Never mind. Anyway, would you like to meet…er…the prince…princess…what is the title? He's male, but he will not serve as king because he is to be of lower rank than I am…um…well, anyway, his name is Kurama and I am going to marry him and here he is.”

As the words left his mouth there was a huge commotion in the back of the crowd.

“NOOOO!” Kurama screamed. He lay face-down on the ground—in a frilly pink dress, no less—as he was dragged along by his ankles by two huge muscular men. “I DON'TWANT TO GO! LEAVE ME ALOOOOONE!”

“Your Highness, please…” one of the men who was dragging him said. “You'll get your dress dirty.”

Kurama dug his fingernails into the stone walkway, causing a loud screeching sound that made many people in the audience wince and cover their ears. “I DON'T CARE! I HATE THIS DRESS! I DON'T WANT TO WEAR A DRESS! I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE! I DIN'T WANT TO GET MARRIED! ESPECIALLY TO HIM! LET GO OF ME!”

“You're being very childish, Your Highness,” the other man informed him.

“Oh, that is it!” Kurama muttered, and stopped fighting. The men, thinking he had stopped fighting, let go of him. Kurama stood with great dignity, dusted himself off, brushed his hair out of his face, and turned very calmly to spit in the men's' faces. He then ripped off the dress to reveal forest-green breeches, a large white shirt, a tunic that matched the breeches, and leather shoes. Fuming, he turned to stare at Karasu, who was still standing on the balcony, looking scandalized. “DROP DEAD, YOUR HIGHNESS! I HATE THAT DRESS, I HATE THIS PLACE, I HATE YOU, AND I'M LEAVING!” And then he was gone, before anyone had registered what he had said. Karasu's subjects either laughed, cheered, or in Karasu's case, cried.

“And Kurama escaped with the use of one of the horses from the royal stables. Then, turning to stare at the castle, he said `Ha!' and fled,” Yomi said.

Shura's face brightened. “Hey, I like the way this Kurama guy thinks. No mushy stuff, just say `ha' and leave! Now if Garnet just thought like him the ending wouldn't have sucked.”

“What?” Yomi asked, frowning.

“Never mind, just get on with the friggin' story!” Shura gulped, and regained his composure. “I mean, you can read on…if you want to.”

Yomi raised an eyebrow, then continued to tell the story.

“Kurama rode to freedom. Suddenly, as he raced along, he saw…”

A ray of light? “No…that isn't what it is,” Kurama said to himself, and then the light hit him in the leg and knocked him off his horse. “Ow…rock…” he winced. “My leg…”

“Might we have a word, m'lady?” a man in the path asked as two others joined him, one very big with orange hair, and the other also rather large but not quite as big as the first one, holding a bottle.

Kurama glanced up with a glare that could make people spontaneously launch themselves out a window. “You broke my leg…”

A very big man with orange hair standing behind the first, tiny man bowed his head. “I'm sorry…”

“Shut up!” the little man hissed. “We are but poor lost circus performers. Is there a village nearby?” he continued to Kurama, in what he clearly thought to be a sweet and winning voice.

Kurama gave him a “duh” look and pointed to the castle he had just escaped.

“A village! Not a castle!”

“For poor lost circus performers you sure are picky.” Kurama got to his feet, cursing. Looking for his horse, he began to limp away. “You try and help people…”

“He's getting away!” Yelled the first man.

“DOG PILE!” shouted the orange haired giant. They jumped Kurama, slowly crushing him under their weight.

He screamed and tried to claw his way out, until he simply lost too much oxygen and passed out. The three slowly rose to their feet.

“Okay, cool, let's put him on the boat,” the tiny man said.

Li: CUT! That was perfect!

Karasu: It was? unable to believe it

Everyone else: Huh?

Ava: I've never heard you say that before, Li.

Li: glares at her Okay, lunch break, people! Sandwiches and soda are by the trailers. We're filming again in an hour!

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Well, there it is! Chapter two! Review, please!

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Reviewers' comments:

italiannproud: I'm going as fast as I can! I'm typing the chapters up as soon as my sister and my friend get them written, I promise! Thanks for the review!

JJ CJ: dazed Wow, are you a hyper person! Thanks for the review! takes eggplant I got this updated as soon as possible, but I had no computer access for four days, so that's my explanation. And if you'd be so kind, I'd gladly take one of those turnovers and some chocolate in exchange for an update! Although the next chapters are LOOOOONG, so…ooh, pocky…picks up pocky you dropped Oh, and also, do you have any good shounen ai Hiei/Kurama fluff for me? I'm completely out of new fics to read!

T.K. Yurikoto: Thanks for the review! I said everything else to you over e-mail…

baka-basher: Thank you! But I don't actually have the talent—my sister and my friend are the brains of the operation—but at least I was IN this chapter a little bit! I'll pass along the complement, anyways…