Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Breathe No More ❯ Breathe No More ( Chapter 1 )

Warning: Shounen-ai relations. Yes, this means homosexual loving between two guys. If you don't like it, then hit your BACK button now. That thing's not psychic you know.

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho. I'm just borrowing Kurama and Hiei for my own sick pleasures. ::winks:: Also, the lyrics to "Breathe No More" are not mine, they belong to Evanescence. All rights reserved.

Author's Note: Another product of my love for Evanescence and Yu Yu Hakusho (well, mainly Kurama x Hiei). A bit twisted, but aren't they all?

--------------------------------------------------------- -

[ Breathe No More ]

{ I've been looking in the mirror for so long / That I've come to believe my soul's on the other side }

It was early, even for the notorious Kurama, and yet it was time for him to face his inner beast once more. This had become a morning ritual as Youko grew more restless inside his human host. Stepping out of the steamy shower, the redhead averted his eyes, hoping not to catch a glimpse of his reflection in the bathroom mirror - not yet, he wasn't ready quite yet. He dressed in absolute silence, since even the small birds that graced the tree beyond his window were still slumbering. 'Lucky bastards,' he thought to himself, sighing. He took an unnecessary deep breath, allowing his feet to place him in front of the full-length mirror in his bedroom. Emerald eyes met golden, blood red locks clashed with silver. "And we meet yet again, klepto," Kurama drawled. The elegant kitsune snorted, arching a silvery eyebrow. ~That's no way to treat yourself. After all, I am you.~

{ All the little pieces falling, shatter / Shards of me / Too sharp to put back together / Too small to matter / But big enough to cut me into so many little pieces }

A cry of frustration leaped from Kurama's lips as his fist moved like lightning, shattering the beautiful Youko. "That's a lie! I'm not like you." Laughter like bells rose from the broken reflection. ~Wrong. You are everything I am, even if you choose to hide it.~ Angry tears cut a jagged path down the redhead's porcelain cheeks while his crimson life dripped from his hands. He looked down at his delicate fingers, nearly intoxicated by the sight of his own blood and the designs it made on the remains of the Youko's reflection. He put his cut-up hands to his cheek, leaving vermillion rivers behind to blend with his salty tears. The mixture trailed onto Kurama's lush lips, dancing on his tongue with a tangy flavor. "You know... you'll never have him like I do, Youko," the 'human' stated in an icy tone. ~I wouldn't be so sure about that, *ningen*~ the fox retorted.

{ If I try to touch [him] / And I bleed / I bleed / And I breathe / I breathe no more }

A picture of the fire youkai sat on the night table, and the redhead with bloodstained cheeks graced the photo with a bittersweet smile. 'He's lying... he must be.' Though his back was now turned to the battered mirror, Youko's voice still echoed in his mind. ~And what if I'm not?~ Blood continued to drip from Kurama's hands, creating sunbursts of crimson on the light carpeting as he ignored his inner demon. Time continued its' journey, but left Kurama standing with him eyes focused on Hiei's beauty. It was an exquisite picture of the little youkai perched in the tree outside the shared apartment, his wine-red eyes set on some sight beyond the camera's reach. A tentative smile curved his lips, so the viewer could only conclude that whatever thoughts were tumbling around in his mind were happy ones. That picture had been taken the morning after the two had shared their first night as a couple. Kurama wished that its' occupant was here now, to ease the pain that Youko so loved to inflict upon him. The splatters of crimson began to spread, creating red lake upon the soft carpet; leaving the high school boy feeling weak and slightly dizzy. His stained hands trembled as fatigue and blood loss began to overtake his frail frame as the minutes turned into hours. With a supernatural grace, Kurama crumbled to the floor, the carpet becoming a sponge for the red head's life force. His breath caught in his throat, and began to falter as his heart struggled to keep beating. Unbeknownst to the unconscious host, the Youko trapped inside was pacing in his cage, bidding his time until he could finally escape and claim the fire youkai for himself.

{ Take a breath and I try to draw from my spirits' well / Yet again you refuse to drink like a stubborn child }

Kurama awoke in a sea of darkness, his limbs feeling like lead weights as he struggled to stand. Youko was leaning against a tree a few feet away, a smug look on his face, his silver tail swishing in an almost malevolent manner. The teen blinked in confusion, and in an instant, vines shot out of the ground, immobilizing him swiftly. Thorns dug into his trapped body, and though it was a mere dream, he swore he could feel them piercing his true flesh, causing more blood to spill upon the cream carpeting. Holding back a cry of anguish, he locked his emerald gaze on his other half, asking in a flat tone, "What's this all about, Youko?" ~I think we both know what it's about, ningen.~ A flash of light blinded him temporarily, and in its' place was Kurama's photo of Hiei. "You could have anyone you wanted, you realize that Youko?! And of all the youkai in the Makai, you have to set your golden sights on the one youkai that I happen to love. Why couldn't you love Yuusuke?! Or Genkai? Or even Toguro for Inari's sake! Why does it have to be Hiei?" Bitter tears streamed down his face, splashing on the vines, causing them to tighten significantly. This time, Kurama visibly winced, his lungs fighting for air as his chest became constricted. "You bastard, why Hiei…?" ~Isn't it obvious? He's the one youkai who has ever turned me down. That's why I'm chasing him, because I can't have him. Why he chose you is beyond me.~ the fox added with a snort of disgust. Kurama coughed hard, blood spattering his lips and deadly constraints. A smirk of grim satisfaction played on the fox's features as his lighter half's struggles grew weaker. Finally, the emerald eyes drew close, the breathing ragged. It seemed that Kurama had given up. That was exactly what he meant to portray, for on the inside, he was crawling deep inside his ningen body, hoping to find the strength he so desperately needed. It may have been little more than a dream, but it was turning into a fight for his life, and he didn't want to lose - not without seeing Hiei's beautiful face one more time. He wasn't as stubborn as Kuwabara, he'd admit to that, but he wasn't going to lose to the fox. Not like this.

{ Lie to me / Convince me that I've been sick forever / And all of this / Will make sense when I get better }

Even within the refuge of his soul, Youko's seductive tones still rang in Kurama's ears. He could hear all the things that Youko planned to do to Hiei once he got to the little fire youkai and all the lies, or so he hoped they were, of the feelings that Hiei secretly harbored for the Youko and not himself. ~Why would he love you, anyhow? You're nothing but a host, a vessel. How could someone such as Hiei fall in love with a shell?~ Youko taunted, knowing Kurama was not deaf to his words. 'It's all a lie… right? Hiei would never betray me… and not for the Youko… he's never liked Youko. He's told me this… he hates it when the fox is loose…' Kurama attempted to comfort himself. 'But… what if he's not lying? What if I'm the one who's being played? What if this has all been a dream, and Hiei really lusts for Youko?' His thoughts grew more troublesome as he continued to hide from his counterpart in the only place where he was unreachable by everyone - save for one person. It was then that that person returned to their shared bedroom to discover Kurama's abused body staining the carpet crimson. Hiei's heart caught in his throat as he rushed to his koi's side, hand instantly seeking a pulse. It was faint, but it was steady, which barely soothed the youkai's nerves as he proceeded searched the adjoining bathroom for the medical kit the kitsune always kept. Moments later, he returned with his arms full of gauze and medical tape, a look of determination written on his face. With gentle hands, he tended to Kurama's wounds, as the redhead watched with a smile from his personal prison. Youko watched on, smirking. ~Oh, this is going to be sweet~ he thought, twirling his silver hair around a clawed finger in amusement. Hearing this, Kurama's dream-self stiffened, wincing just a little as the thorns dug just a bit deeper into his flesh. 'It's now or never, I'm afraid…' Hiei had moved the teen's unconscious body to the bed, and was settled cross-legged beside him, watching like an anxious mother over an ill child. "Please come back to me, Kurama. I know you're in there… and I know it's hard, but you've got to fight him," the small man whispered, a tear trickling down his cheek, landing on the bedspread as an ebony tear-gem. A soft groan escaped Kurama's bloodstained lips, his emerald eyes fluttering open as his dream body broke free of its' confinement with a burst of strength fueled by his koi's soft words of concern and a million other sensations that were tied to such rare words. The fox let loose a long stream of curses as Kurama attempted to sit up, only to fall back against his pillow with a moan of despair. "Everything's going to be alright now, koi. I promise," Hiei murmured, lying beside the redhead, burying his face in those blood-red locks.

{ But I know the difference / Between myself and my reflection / I just can't help but to wonder / Which of us do you love? }

Hours passed, and Youko stayed strangely quiet as Kurama rested. His pulse grew stronger, and his breathing evened as he fell into a peaceful slumber. Hiei woke up to find the world bathed in stardust and moonshine. He sat up, looking around in wonder, thinking about how the night sky never looked the same. Kurama stirred, instantly drawing Hiei's attention as his eyes opened slowly, only to be greeted by a concerned pair of crimson eyes. A smile claimed Kurama's lips at Hiei's expression, and he lifted a bandaged arm to pull the youkai down for a long-awaited kiss. They parted reluctantly for air, the injured man trembling. Many of the bandages had bled through, and Hiei set to replacing them in the twilight-lit room as Kurama lay back down, his brow scrunched. "I don't understand… Youko was so set on tormenting me, but now he's quiet as a grave. It's worrying me." ~As it very well should~ the kitsune retorted. The redhead arched an eyebrow, but held his tongue, enjoying the feeling of Hiei's small hands fluttering over his battered skin. His eyes began to drift close when memories of the day jolted him back to reality. Fiddling with the hem of the blanket that covered him, Kurama watched Hiei with clouded eyes. The fire youkai was finishing re-wrapping the wounds on his koi's legs when he felt those emerald eyes piercing into him. "What is it, Kurama?" The addressed man bit his lip, unsure of how to ask what danced on his tongue.

"Which of us do you love, Hiei?" he asked in a quiet voice, barely trusting his own words. Taken aback, he blinked in confusion. "Nani?" With a sigh, the half youko repeated his question, "Which of us do you love?" Hiei tilted his head, his face the portrait of confusion as he tried to discern the source of this question. It hit him like a bag of bricks, and he wondered if his time in the Ningenkai had really dulled his senses. He scooted back up the bed, so he was sitting next to Kurama's hand. He took it into his own, marveling at how elegant the redhead's hands truly were, like a pianist's. Rubbing his fingertips idly over his koi's knuckles, he looked down at him. Ruby met emerald in a delicious clash, and Hiei had to force his mind to focus on the question at hand. "Do you honestly think that I love Youko?" Kurama's eyes shone with puzzlement; Hiei was generally quite blunt, yet he was dodging the awkward request for reassurance with a question of his own. His mouth felt dry, so he shook his head in denial as a response. Hiei smiled softly, "Good, then the Ningenkai hasn't made you stupid, kitsune. You know I love you, and only you. You took the time to look beyond my Forbidden Child status. You showed me love and tenderness, and that anything is possible, as long as I'm with you. You have opened these eyes to a world I thought I may never see. Arigato, Kurama." The youkai's cheeks were stained pink, but he kept his gaze locked with his lover's, a rare smile gracing his lips. Inside his mind, Kurama's counterpart was snarling, pacing like a caged lion. ~This isn't how it was supposed to happen! He's supposed to be mine!~ 'Oh shut up, Youko. This is one youkai you can never touch,' the lithe-bodied man snapped silently, as "Aishiteru, Hiei" fell from his lips with a happy sigh. "Aishiteru, Kurama," the small demon replied, leaning down and kissing his koi softly. He snuggled closer, being careful of the dream-wounds that were healing, closing his eyes. Kurama gingerly wrapped his arms around his petite koi, kissing his starburst fondly before following his example and falling into a deep, dreamless sleep.