Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Bugs ❯ Chapter Ten ( Chapter 10 )

A/N-FINALLY! I am so sorry it took so long, I wrote this, and hated it, so I erased it an re-wrote it. I think I fianlly like it. It's healing time, and there's more to come after.

 

Disclaimer:A) I don't own them. B) see A/N at end of chapter.

 

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Kurama held Hiei close to him for awhile longer before he decided to broach the subject of the appointment this evening. Finally, he broke the silence. “Hiei?”

 

“Hm?” the smaller demon relied.

 

“When we go to see the therapist tonight, there are a few things we should keep confidential.” Kurama began.

 

“Doesn't that defeat the purpose of going to see it then?” Hiei asked in a wry tone.

 

With a sigh, Kurama said, “I suppose so. But if we admit everything, such as being demons, we may find ourselves being dissected by some very curious ningen.”

 

“You worry too much, Fox. I could always erase those memories if this doctor thing reacts poorly to the revelation.” Hiei suggested playfully. In truth, he did not want to admit anything to this ningen, but this game was getting fun.

 

Kurama nodded. “I suppose you're right. How about this, we'll tell the doctor if we are asked directly, but we won't volunteer the information if we are not.”

 

“Deal.” Hiei said, as he reached up and gently touched the bruise on Kurama's cheek. “It's fading, Fox. It will only be a shadow by tonight.”

 

“If that.” Kurama agreed. “I think the emotional drain over the past week, coupled with the physical stress last night threw off my healing abilities. Usually a hit like this would heal in an hour or two. This bruise lasted overnight.”

 

“Actually, it worsened overnight. I think when you collapsed your whole body just shut down, healing and all.” Hiei theorized.

 

“Mmm, possible. But you sure jump started me last night.” Kurama teased, pulling Hiei closer.

 

“Hn.” Hiei replied, as their lips drew together for a long kiss. When they drew apart, a noise from the door to the den drew both of their attention.

 

Shiori and Kazuya were standing there. Shiori was smiling at the two; Hatanaka was managing not to frown. He had his arm around Shiori's waist, and she leaned her head onto his shoulder. “I thank you for the use of your guest room. In light of recent progress, I believe I will stay upstairs with my husband again tonight.” Shiori said. Kurama smiled. With that, Shiori got fresh sheets and made the bed, and moved her belongings up to the room Kazuya was in.

 

As the afternoon wore on, Kurama's bruise healed further, and by the time the family was ready to leave, it was indeed merely a shadow. Kurama was also able to walk with only slight discomfort. At promptly four fifty-five the group entered the therapist's office.

 

The doctor was an older man. He was balding, with thick glasses and a stuffy look to him. He was dressed in a western style business suit, with a perfectly straight necktie. The creases in his pants were crisp and clean. This man was the epitome of conservatism. Kurama noticed this immediately, but withheld any comment or judgment. Hiei noticed it as well, but his impassive mask was in place.

 

“Ah, yes, you must be the Hatanaka and Minamino families.” the man greeted them. “Please, do come in.” The doctor ushered them from the waiting room to his office. The office itself was quite spacious, and had plenty of seating to accommodate everyone, from the couch, to the love seat, and a few single chairs, arranged around a low, round coffee table. “Please sit. Would anyone like some tea?” the doctor asked, as he turned his back to prepare a tray of tea and cakes. This was how he began every session with a new family. He would turn away and allow the family to choose from the vast array of seats. Where they sat often gave him an impression of the overall attitude they had towards each other. After the shuffling sounds behind him ceased, he turned and brought the tray of refreshments to the group.

 

The older man, Hatanaka, had taken a seat on one of the sofas. He sat closest to the doctor. Next to him sat the youngest boy, the file had listed him as Shuuichi Hatanaka. The woman, Shiori, sat on the other side of the boy. The taller of the two remaining boys sat on the love seat next to the sofa, on the end closest his mother. The final boy, the one with the short, spiky black hair, refused to sit. He was standing behind the love seat, behind the spot he would have taken had he chosen to sit. The doctor did not reveal his thoughts on these matters to his new patients as he set the tray on the small round table.

 

“Now, Please get comfortable. I want to tell you what to expect tonight, and set some of the ground rules.” the doctor began. “First of all, therapy is not a miracle cure. A person doesn't go talk to a therapist for an hour or two and magically change. I am not here to change anyone. That is not my job. I just listen and make suggestions based on what you tell me. For the most part, you will come to your own conclusions and decisions, and any changes you make or see will be the result of you, not me. I am just here to make that easier for you. This may take time. As far as the ground rules go, I want you all to be honest. Coming in here and telling me what you think I want you to say, or what you think you are supposed to say will not help you. There are no false fronts in here. There are no expectations. Whatever you have to say, I assure you that I have heard worse. Don't be embarrassed or ashamed. That is usually the root of a problem. But getting it out in the open we can confront it. Finally, what is said here stays here. I will not tell anyone what you tell me. I would appreciate it if you kept that confidence as well. Do not ever use anything said in this office as fuel for an argument at home, or as a point of shame for a family member. This is not blackmail material, it is healing. Tonight, I will speak to you all together, and then I would like to speak to all individually. Afterwards, we will all come back together. I will not use direct quotes, but I will share my interpretations of your situation with all of you as a group to try to get things out in the open. After that, we will determine a course of action together that will be best for everyone here. Is this all understood?” The doctor paused and looked around the group. Everyone nodded. “Very well. Young man,” he addressed Hiei. “Feel free to sit or stand as you please anytime you wish. Now, please introduce yourselves, and tell me something about you.”

 

The group took turns giving their names and some detail about themselves. The doctor took some notes. What he was interested in was whether their description revolved around themselves, or another in the group. Hatanaka described himself as a father and husband from a conservative family who wanted to accept his stepson before things got more out of hand than they already were. Shuu-kun described himself as an almost-teenager who wanted to be on the wrestling team, but his dad said he couldn't unless he got all Bs and As (mostly As) on his report card. Shiori described herself as a mother and wife. Kurama described himself as Shiori's son and Hiei's lover who wanted to avoid future problems with his family. Hiei just described himself as `here with Kurama'.

 

The doctor paused a moment. “Kurama? I thought your name is Shuuichi, young man.” he asked the kitsune.

 

“Yes, it is, Doctor. Many of my friends call me Kurama. It is a nickname of sorts, and has come in handy since my stepbrother bears the same name as I.” The doctor nodded, and scribbled down some notes.

 

“Alright. I would like to meet with each of you individually. The rest of you are welcome to stay here and relax, converse, eat, whatever. I do ask that you do not talk about your private session until later, when we all discuss them together. Now, I believe we will start with Mrs. Hatanaka.” The doctor rose, and led Shiori into a smaller office. The rest of the group remained relatively silent during her absence.

 

After about twenty minutes, Shiori and the doctor emerged, and Shiori resumed her seat on the sofa. She did not make eye contact with any of the others, and did not say a word. The doctor cleared his throat and called for his next patient, Hiei. The hiyoukai looked at the kitsune. Kurama nodded slightly, and the fire demon followed the doctor into the small office. Silently, Kurama hoped that the office would not erupt in flames.

After twenty minutes of flame-free silence, the door opened and Hiei emerged. He went straight to the love seat, but instead of standing behind it again, he climbed into the seat and pressed against his fox, tucking his feet up under him. Kurama immediately put his arm around the smaller demon, surprised to see him so unnerved by the short session. Shuuichi-kun was next, followed by Kurama, then finally Hatanaka. During the individual visits, those in the main office remained silent, lost in their own thoughts.

 

When Hatanaka finally resumed his seat on the sofa, The doctor took a few moments to pour himself a fresh cup of tea, then addressed the entire group before him. They were seated as they were when they entered, except that Hiei was still on the seat beside Kurama, pressed into his side, with the fox's arm around him.

 

“I have spoken to each of you, and I feel that I have an idea of some of the root of these problems. Please notice I say `these problems', plural, because there is more than one issue you are all confronting, and no one person is completely responsible for or completely absolved of solving them. I have gathered some information and compiled some conclusions based on my talks with all of you. I get the feeling that you share a secret that you are not telling me; one independent of Shuuichi and Hiei's relationship. I am sure it will come out in time,I will not press. I will reiterate that everything said here is confidential, and I assure you, I have heard worse. Now, let's begin with where you all stand in regards to each other. The conflict that Mr. Hatanaka described to me is no great surprise. In fact, I'm surprised it took so long to escalate. Mr. Hatanaka was raised in a very strict household, and was taught very stringent morals. It truly has not occurred to him before now that there can exist love in a same sex relationship. It is clear to me that Shuuichi and Hiei are very much in love. I don't mean a fleeting, teenage crush. They act towards each other like an old married couple, with one exception. While the emotion and the support are there, the confidence is most definitely missing. Hiei is terrified of losing Shuuichi.” At this, Hiei turned his head, and buried his face in Kurama's shirt. The kitsune held him closer. “He is afraid that either something physical will happen to his lover, or that Shuuichi's family will come between them. He knows Shuuichi loves his mother very much, and would do almost anything for her. He is afraid that anything may include leaving him. Yet, somehow, he does not blame Mrs. Hatanaka for this. Hiei regards Mrs. Hatanaka as a mother figure. He is very closed about his own childhood and parents. I am under the impression that he has been abused and neglected. He never knew his true parents, and has adopted Mrs. Hatanaka as a surrogate. He does not want to take Shuuichi away from his mother, but he is too closed to admit that he wants to join their family.

 

“Shuuichi, on the other hand, is afraid he will lose his family by staying with Hiei, and he is not willing to give up his lover. He is stretching, trying to make everyone happy, and in the end, only letting every down. He will not abandon Hiei, but he is afraid that Hiei may leave because of his family, or that he may lose Hiei to some physical end. For two young people, they are both keenly aware of mortality. I do get the impression that they keep these fears hidden, and that these emotions are not interfering with their relationship. The introduction of the Hatanaka family into their house has brought these feelings out to an unbearable degree, and now they are both very insecure.

 

“Mrs. Hatanaka is afraid of losing her son or her husband. She hates having to play the role of peacekeeper and wishes with all her heart that they could get along. She still harbors resentment towards her husband for throwing her son out of the house when he revealed his feelings for Hiei. She also resents having to let go of her son. She loves Hiei like a son, and is happy that the two are happy together, but she is feeling like a mother bird with an empty nest. Her stepson fills some of that emptiness, but nothing can replace a child.

 

“Shuuichi-kun feels this emptiness, although he cannot identify it, and is trying to fill the gap. Sometimes he may seem too eager to do so, also hyperactive, but he feels that if he can keep everyone busy, then the void will not be felt as much. He is very intelligent and very perceptive, but he cannot express what he perceives, only react to it. At his age, the reactions may seem over exuberant, so he is trying to tone them down, but it is difficult for an adolescent to gauge the appropriateness and the impact of his actions.

 

“Mr. Hatanaka is very open that he is confused right now. He loves his wife, his son, and his stepson very much. He is confused because many of the things he was raised to believe in are crumbling around him. When he sees Shuuichi and Hiei together, he is torn between happiness for them and revulsion at the idea of two men loving each other. He wants to protect his son from the same confusion he, himself, is currently battling, and so he has become overprotective of the boy. He wants to accept this relationship, but he will need time to overcome the barriers instilled in him from childhood. Before, he was avoiding the issue completely. The current living situation has not only pressed him into acknowledging it, but denied him the time ti accept it.

 

“This brings us to the physical confrontation last evening, resulting in Mr. Hatanaka striking Shuuichi and Shuuichi's subsequent collapse. Without prior intervention, this was unavoidable. I believe that we can overcome these obstacles with time, but until then, I think that Mr. Hatanaka and Shuuichi should not be alone together. He did not mean to hurt his stepson; far from it, he loves the boy like his own. He is feeling just as stretched as everyone else is right now, trying to accept others, yet still stay true to themselves. I would like to set up weekly sessions with Mr. Hatanaka, and with any other family members who desire to come.

 

“Now, is there anything anyone would like to say while we are here, in the open? I remind you not to bring up personal admissions at home in an argument, or as blackmail to get something. These feelings are very deep, and the wounds that will inflict are deeper yet. I encourage you to be open with each other, and share your feelings, but do not press each other, and do not bring up subjects discussed here unless both parties are willing to discuss them further. Now it's an open forum, who would like to start us off?”

 

After the long winded, yet eerily accurate assessment made by the doctor, everyone was hesitant to say anything. Finally a small voice broke the awkward silence.

 

“Dad?” Shuu-kun said, looking at his father. “I know you wouldn't hurt Shuuichi, or any one of us on purpose. I know you want to protect me, but this stuff is all over, and I think we should be open about it at home. Otherwise, when we face it in the real world, we won't know how to react to it. I think, maybe, that is why you are having so much trouble accepting Shuuichi and Hiei; you were never allowed to ask questions about it or understand it when you were younger, so now you don't know how to. But I'm really proud of you for trying.” With that the young boy hugged his father. The doctor smiled. He knew the boy was perceptive, and the youth had nailed a huge part of the problem right on the head. Maybe he would make a good therapist when he was older.

 

“Thank you, Son, that means the world to me. I never wanted to put you in the middle of any of this, or you, Shiori. I just want us to be a happy family again, along with Shuuichi and Hiei.” Hatanaka said, returning the hug.

 

“Me, too. I guess I will have to accept that Shuuichi is grown up and on his own.” Shiori said, looking wistfully at her only son.

 

“Mother, I have told you before, no matter how grown up I may be, I will always need you. But, I need Hiei, too.” Kurama turned to his lover, whose face was still buried in his shirt. “I won't leave you, Hiei. Not ever.” A slight nod of the black hair was all that was visible.

 

The family spoke some more, trying to reassure the others that they would not be abandoned or forsaken. The doctor watched with interest. This was relatively normal, ever patient he saw wanted to say just the right words to fix it, to make the problem disappear immediately. This, of course, could not happen. Nine out of ten of them would forget the entire thing by the next morning, and the problem would persist. This family was a unique collection, and he hoped they were the one that didn't. The only one not speaking was Hiei. The doctor had gotten the impression that the young man hid very much from the world. He was very distant when he came in, almost standoffish. The only one able to get close to him was his lover. The doctor had gotten he impression that the two had been through much together, despite their apparent youth. He still felt that they were hiding something, something big, but based on his interpretation of their relationship, he felt they would be able to handle it together. He was relatively certain that they would have a private discussion together that night, and the smaller one would be able to speak then. He did make a point of offering his services to any of them before they left. At the conclusion of the two hour session, the family thanked the doctor and left. The doctor watched them get into their car and leave, again hoping they would be the one in ten who actually saw the problem through to its solution, not faded into a rosy land of denial again once the Hatanaka family went home.

 

The ride from the doctor's office was silent. Everyone was still digesting what had been said during the session. When Hatanaka stopped the car and shut the engine off, the others were surprised to find that they were not at home. They were at a small building that seemed rather unimpressive from the outside. A neon sign that said `open' hung in the window.

 

“We are going to eat dinner, right?” Hatanaka asked. “I heard about this place from a friend, and I thought it would be a nice change to come here.” Looking at the nondescript building with a wry expression, the rest of the group just got out of the car, and wondered what type of food they must serve here.

 

When they entered the building, they were in a small, brightly colored foyer closed off from the main dining room by a thick curtain. Artwork hung all over the place. Kurama turned to look around him, and his gaze fell on a mirror by the door. The mirror was about three feet tall and one foot wide, framed in wood. Instead of being simply a long piece of reflective glass, the mirror had colored glass set into the center and held in place with lead. The colored glass formed a beautiful rose with a long stem and a smaller bud sprouting off the side. Kurama felt more at ease. Looking around, he took in the other art on the walls.

 

There was no motif to the art. It was an eclectic collection of pieces that ranged from realist to abstract. There was photography, pen and ink, paint, glasswork, sculpture, every style imaginable, hanging on the walls, sitting on a ledge on the wall, and hanging in the windows.

 

A man came over to the group. “Party of five?” he asked politely.

 

“Yes, we have a reservation. Hatanaka.” Hatanaka replied. The man gathered five menus and led the party into the dining area. He sat them at a large table in the corner by the curtain that separated the entranceway from the main restaurant. This was the smallest of the three rooms in the restaurant, and like the entranceway was decorated with all types of art. As he handed out the menus, the man noticed the family gazing around in wonder.

 

“The restaurant is also an art gallery; we showcase the talent of local artists. Everything you see is for sale, so if you are interested in a piece, just ask for assistance. Your waitress will be with you shortly.”

 

The group enjoyed a delicious meal together. Their spirits rose among the bright colors and cheerful artwork. Everyone was enjoying themselves by the end of the fantastic meal, with one exception. Hiei had barely touched his food. He had not spoken. Kurama had ordered for him when he had refused to look at the menu. Something was bothering him deeply, but he would not share it yet. When the rest of the group had finished their desserts, Kurama asked the waitress to wrap Hiei's dinner, and the group left to go home.

 

Once they were home, the family split up to go to their rooms. Shiori and her husband went to their room together. Shuu-kun asked if he could stay up awhile watching some movies, and his father said he would have no objection, if Kurama and Hiei did not mind their television being commandeered. Hiei was still silent, so Kurama told Shuu-kun to watch as many as he liked. Then the fox led his silent lover to their bedroom.

 

Once they arrived, Kurama closed the door behind them and drew Hiei into an embrace. “What is it, Love? You've been silent ever since you came out of your private session with the doctor.” he asked softly.

 

Hiei just wrapped his arms around the fox. After a few moments of silence, he finally spoke. “How?”

 

“How what, Love?”

 

“How did he know all of that? I only answered a few questions, but I felt like he was leeching right into my soul. No one, Ningen or Youkai, has ever been able to read me, except for you. How did he get into my head?” Hiei whispered.

 

“Love, that's what he does. He went to school for years to learn it, and from the looks of him, he has been practicing it for many more years. Don't feel bad, he is an expert at cracking peoples' defenses and seeing the true them.” Kurama murmured, holding the smaller demon close.

 

“I just feel so, naked after that. I never wanted anyone to know those things. I never wanted Shiori to think she has to be a mother to me as well, and I never wanted you not to trust me...” Hiei began.

 

“Woah, Hiei, stop. Me not trust you? Love, I trust you implicitly.” the kitsune interjected.

 

“No, you're afraid of losing me. And I am afraid of losing you. How deeply can we trust each other if we both feel this way? I know I will never leave you, but I still don't know why someone like you would stay with a forbidden nothing like me. I'm a bastard born of a frigid bitch race, and left for dead. You could do so much better, with someone your family would accept...”

 

“Hiei?” Kurama cut him off. “Hiei, look at me, look at my eyes when I say this.” The dejected hiyoukai looked up slowly. “I. Love. You. Stop talking about being nothing, you are my everything. I am afraid of losing you. Every time you go to Makai to answer Mukuro's summons, I am afraid that I will get a letter form her describing your death, or I will get a visit from Koenma and Botan, or worse yet, I will get nothing, and never know if you are alive or dead. I fear that every time you leave. I am also afraid that one day you will have had enough of my ningen family and my ningen quirks and just go. Hiei, I am afraid I will lose you because I cherish you. I know I can't lock you away in a vault like I would with a precious gem or artifact. Because I cannot do that, I am afraid one day you will be stolen from me. You are so precious to me. I don't care about your birth or your heritage. I care about you.” Kurama held his mate close. Hiei tightened his hold around the fox.

 

“I love you, too, Fox.” he said softly. “Kurama?”

 

“Yes, Love?”

 

“Will you just...hold me...for a while?”

 

“As long as you like, Love.” With that the two demons laid on the bed, just holding each other close, and enjoying the trust they found in each other.

 

--

 

A/N- disclaimer B) (and this one is pretty important) I do not particularly care if the therapy session is accurate. If you have experience with therapy, or are a therapist/studying psychology please bear in mind that I am not aiming for accuraacy in this therapy session, Ii am aiming to further the story.

 

Also, the restaurant is real. It's a place near me. The mirror with the rose is really hanging by the door, and I thought of Kurama the instant I saw it, so of course, it ended up here. If i had the money and a place to hang it, the mirror would be mine.

 

A belated thank you to my reviewers, and again I apologize for taking so long with this.

 

Thank you:

Sikandra

Candy?

KitsuneSilver

Ma-zoku

tiny

Citizen Cobalt

Tsuin_Kitsune15

StormAZ

KitsuneSilver

Sikandra

Kuranga108

Shinoga

Ma-zoku

darkanimefreak54

Candy?

Shinoga

Harmonie Des Anges