Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Coming Clean ❯ Exercise in Futility ( Chapter 32 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Disclaimer: This story was written by me, mhmartini, for enjoyment purposes only. All characters taken from a show/series/book/etc. are property of their respective creators; I am only borrowing them. Original characters are mine. The storyline is mine. I am making no money from this endeavor. The only �profit� involved is the joy of writing and the reviews of my readers. No copyright infringement is intended.

Anime/Manga: Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Fantasy / Hentai | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 08.21.2005 | Updated On: 06.03.2007 | Pages: 4 | Words: 7.1K | Visits: 624 | Status: Completed

Hiei, Yusuke, Kuwabara, and Botan entered the demons' house quickly. "Kurama?" Hiei called, eying the mess strewn about. The others looked around as well. The normally neat and clean house was a disaster. Looking upstairs, Hiei saw the door to the master bedroom hanging by only one hinge. In a flash he was at the doorway, followed by his teammates.

The master bedroom looked like a war had torn through it. Blood spattered the walls and furniture. The bedding was torn from the bed and the mirror was shattered. Everything on top of the dresser had been pushed aside or smashed. One object in particular caught Hiei's eye immediately. Lying on the floor in a pool of blood was something shiny and fluffy. Slowly the hiyoukai approached and picked it up. Yusuke and Kuwabara followed to see what he was holding. Hiei was speechless as he looked at the limp, bloodied tail in his hands. He knew with sickening certainty whose tail this was, and the circumstances surrounding its removal terrified him.

"That's, um, supposed to be attached," Kuwabara said softly, breaking the tense silence. Hiei did not even respond. Even Yusuke was too shocked to point out how dumb that sounded. The click of the communication mirror closing behind them attracted the attention of the boys, and they turned slowly to see Botan looking at them with wide eyes.

"Koenma said Intaro was here. Right before we arrived, Spirit World Intelligence picked up his energy from this room. Then he disappeared. It was as if he wanted them to know he did...this," she gestured vaguely around the room. "And then run before we could catch him. Koenma thinks he took Kurama with him." Botan's eyes fell as she spoke, landing on the tail in Hiei's grip. "What is...oh my," she said, realizing sadly what the demon held.

"Kurama would only have transformed to his fox form to escape," Hiei said softly, looking around his bedroom. "It would be a last resort, and he would only use it when he knew fighting was not an option. But I don't know what the loss of a tail would do to him."

"What do you mean?" Yusuke asked. "He did just fine in the Dark Tournament without the use of his arms and legs, so why would a little tail matter so much?"

When Hiei remained silent, Botan supplied a response. "A fox spirit, like many animals, evolves as its power increases. The number of tails a fox has is indicative of its power level and age. Kurama had five tails. While the tails are not a source of power, they are dependent upon the power lever. To rip one off..." Botan paused as Hiei visibly flinched at her words. "Sorry, um, to lose one may affect the fox's power for a time. A fox with five tails may not be able to access or direct their power properly if one tail were...missing. Kurama's ki may be completely out of his control right now, spiking up and dropping down without reason. That would explain why the plants in the house are wilted."

At this, Hiei left the group and entered the bathroom, closing the door behind him. The others watched in silence as they heard the water turn on. After some time, Hiei emerged. His eyes were a little puffy and the foxtail was cleaned of all the blood. Still clutching the appendage, Hiei looked at the others. "Let's go," he said harshly.

Kurama opened his eyes slowly. He was not sure when he had lost consciousness or where he was. The first sensation that broke through to his groggy mind was pain. Searing, burning pain shot up his spine and branched out across his back. Slowly the memories of his capture returned to him. Even though he was in his human form, the pain of having one of his tails ripped from his body could still be felt physically. He could also feel the effect the loss had on his energy. Occasionally his ki would shoot up to uncontrollable levels, pulsing and pounding as it forced its way through his body. Most of the time, however, it was so low he could barely feel it. His human body had only the power of a normal human body.

Coming closer to consciousness, Kurama tried to get his bearings. He could not feel his arms or legs, only the blinding pain in his back. He tried to look down at himself, but his body did not want to cooperate with him. Finally, some sensation began to return through his pain. Slowly, Kurama realized that he was not laying down. "Down" was beneath his feet, although he was not actually standing up either. The kitsune attempted to turn, to see where he was, but a wrenching feeling in his shoulders stopped him. 'Well,' he thought wryly. 'I can feel my arms again.' Forcing his head to tilt up and his eyes to focus a little, Kurama realized he was hanging by his wrists, held against a wall. He could not feel the floor below him, so he guessed he was too high for his feet to reach the ground. He was still pondering his situation when a tall figure approached him.

"Good morning, Little Foxy," purred a deep voice, as Intaro looked fondly over his latest catch. Kurama tried to look at him, but the fox's head was still weaving and bobbing as he struggled to keep it upright. "Oh, that will never do," Intaro said gently as he stepped away.

A few minutes later, Kurama felt something wet touch his lips. He tried to pull away, but a hand gently cupped his chin. "Swallow, Little Foxy. It's just water with a few herbs to wake you up," Intaro said softly. Kurama loathed his situation, and tried desperately to resist, but thirst and weakness overpowered him, and he drank the offered liquid. The water tasted so clean and so good that Kurama began to drink eagerly. Soon the small cup was empty. A hand gently brushed back Kurama's red bangs. "There, there, Little Foxy, just relax. The herbs will take effect in a few minutes. Then we'll talk again." With that Intaro left, and Kurama's head lolled back against the wall again.

As Intaro predicted, the herbs began to take effect very quickly. Within a few moments, Kurama picked his head up again and began to examine his surroundings. He appeared to be in some sort of cave. Lanterns lit the immediate area, but the extremities of the chamber were lost in shadow. The cave was well ventilated, however, as evidenced by the breeze wafting by the hanging fox. There was a small fire burning brightly in the center of the chamber as well, and the ventilation allowed the smoke to escape rather than collect in the enclosed space. A few bags, some rocks, and a pallet and blanket were the only other items visible. Kurama looked down towards the floor. As he had guessed, he was too high to reach it. His feet dangled at least six inches from the ground. Tilting his head to look up, Kurama saw his wrist were shackled, and he was hung by chains attached to a peg in the wall. As his mind continued to wake up, the crafty fox began trying to formulate an escape plan.

The detectives stood before Koenma in the toddler's office. Koenma had shown them the reports of Intaro's power surge in Kurama and Hiei's bedroom, and the brief moment of footage, captured by an Intelligence agent, of Intaro fleeing the area with an unconscious red head draped over his shoulder. As the footage ran out Koenma addressed the group. "We have no idea where he went after that. His energy disappeared completely, or changed to something we cannot recognize. This is the problem we have been having with all of his minions. They take that energy enhancement drug he's created, and their ki patterns become unrecognizable. He may have taken another dose just to lose us. What is more baffling, though, is that Kurama's energy disappeared as well. We do not think Kurama is dead yet; Intaro doesn't just want to kill Kurama, he wants to take his time and take pleasure in it. But we can't come up with any other reason why a kitsune's energy would disappear so suddenly and so completely."

"His tail," Hiei whispered.

"What?" Koenma asked, confused.

Hiei withdrew his hands from under his cloak, revealing the silver tail he was holding. It had become a sort of security blanket for him when they discovered Kurama was missing, and he had not let go of it since. "We found Kurama's tail on the floor of our bedroom, where he was taken. His energy may be out of control right now," Hiei said shortly.

Koenma blanched at the sight. "Well, that certainly would explain it. It's also very bad. Not only will we be unable to track Kurama due to the fluctuation in his ki, he is also as defenseless as any normal human."

Yusuke looked at Koenma. "You sound like you know the effects of losing a tail," he said.

Koenma shot the detective a stern look. "Of course I do, it's well documented in Spirit World Intelligence. Some kitsune clans use tail removal and exile as a sort of death penalty. When a member betrays the clan, they remove a tail and cast the traitor out alone. It is generally assumed that the kitsune's energy will balance out eventually, but this has never been tested. Alone and bereft of their power, all kitsune traitors have died before their energy could rebalance." No one spoke after this revelation. The teammates left to try to figure out their next move. Once the room was empty, Koenma raised his head.

"Ayame!" he called out.

A dark clad figure emerged from seemingly nowhere. "Yes, Lord Koenma?" she asked.

"You heard the exchange?" the demigod asked. A silent nod was the only response. "You know the plan. We have to find Kurama and Intaro before the detective team does, or it will be a disaster. I trust you to do this because of your talent for disassociation. I can't leave this to Botan; she's too close to the situation and I know her emotions would get the best of her. You know what you have to do?"

"Yes, Lord Koenma."

"And you are certain you can do it? It won't be pretty."

"I am certain, Lord Koenma."

With a deep sigh, Koenma closed his eyes. "Go, Ayame. Find them and report." Silently, the dark figure melted into the shadows and was gone. Koenma rested his head on his folded arms and hoped what he was doing could be forgiven.

Within moments after he regained his senses, a dark figure again approached Kurama. "Feeling better, Little Foxy?" Intaro leered. Kurama watched silently as his captor dragged a flat chunk of rock towards him. When the makeshift table was in place, Intaro approached Kurama and slid his hands up the kitsune's torso. Kurama shuddered at the touch, and would have drawn away if he were not dangling above the ground, pressed against a wall. "I see you are more awake now," Intaro crooned softly as he delicately ripped Kurama's shirt off. How this demon could make something as violent as tearing seem so gentle was a mystery Kurama was not able to ponder. Inside, the fox feared what this creature could do to him in his weakened state. Outside, Kurama's face was as calm and controlled as ever. Intaro looked at his captive's composure and chuckled softly to himself before drawing away and going to his bag.

From the bag Intaro withdrew a long, slender package and placed it on the table-like piece of boulder. Carefully he unwrapped it. Inside the leather wrapping lay numerous spires made of metal. They resembled knitting needles in shape and size, but were far sharper. Intaro selected seven of them and laid them out. "You know, Little Foxy, this technique was developed eons ago. I forget its name, but it's very versatile, and quite fun," he said as he picked up the first needle. Deftly his fingers traced the bottom of Kurama's ribs from his sternum to this side. Finding just the spot he was looking for, the fingers stopped, and Intaro carefully laid the pointy tip of the spire against Kurama's skin. Aligning the needle carefully, the demon pressed, breaking the skin, and slowly driving the needle into Kurama's chest.

The fox felt the long, metal shaft entering his body. It caused quite a bit of pain, but judging from the angle the needle was traveling, Kurama knew if he moved, the needle would likely pierce an organ. Gritting his teeth, the kitsune hung motionless, allowing his tormentor to penetrate his side. When the spire was pushed in to the hilt and firmly placed, Intaro drew back.

"Well, little Foxy, you certainly have self control. Not a flinch and not a peep. This WILL be fun," the demon sneered as he picked up the second needle.

Kurama dangled limply. His chest felt like it was on fire. Six of the seven spires were sheathed within him. Each individual stab caused substantial pain, but for some reason the combination of wounds seemed to multiply each other, compounding the pain. The small wounds were bloodless so far. Intaro regarded the fox as he aligned the seventh needle. Wordlessly he pressed the spire into Kurama's chest, this time piercing his sternum. Kurama battled his reactions in an effort to remain still. As the needle slid all the way in, suddenly his chest stopped moving. Kurama tried to take a breath, but his body would not respond. A sudden pressure laid on his heart, as well, and each beat echoed louder in his ears, reverberating painfully throughout his chest. Between the building pressure and the lack of air, the kitsune's normally calm mind swam in panic.

After a few long moments, Intaro slowly withdrew the seventh spire. Instantly Kurama was able to breathe again, but his chest could not expand far enough to take in the great gasps he so desired. He panted shallow breaths until his body had regained enough oxygen to allow him to raise his head and glare at his torturer.

Intaro watched with an amused expression on his face. "I have been told that that experience is unpleasant. From the look on your face, I take it I was told correctly. Allow me to explain while you catch your breath. The first six spires create a cage within your chest. They do not pierce any organs, but they do constrict them. It is slight enough that you do not realize it at first. The seventh spire passes across your heart, you should have felt it there, and touches a nerve along your spine. This paralyzes your diaphragm, preventing you from breathing. Actually, it prevents anything in your chest from moving, other than your heart, so if not for the cage, your lungs might have collapsed. Once the seventh spire is removed, you can breath again, but the cage limits how much air you can inhale. But I'm sure a smart Little Foxy like you would have figured all of that out by now. I do so love this game. It requires an intimate knowledge of your victim's anatomy. Lucky for you, I have such knowledge of the human body. Now, let's play another game." With that, Intaro began to slowly remove the spires and lay them out to start on a different part of Kurama's body.

"Report, Ayame," Koenma ordered. He had just dismissed the detective team. The had turned up nothing about Kurama's whereabouts over the past two days, and Koenma rubbed his temples, wondering for the umpteenth time if he had made some huge mistake. Ayame's voice cut through his reflections.

"I have found the fox spirit, Lord Koenma. Intaro is holding him in a cave near the human psychic's forest. The cave is in a hill that many demons have gone to to die, so the residual youki in the ground itself masks any trace of active demonic energy. This is why the detectives have not felt an active demon presence so close to their base," came the expressionless report. It had taken Ayame only two days to find Kurama. Unfortunately, that was the easy part. Now came the difficult part. "What do you want me to do, Lord Koenma?"

With a deep sigh, Koenma replied, "Stay the course, Ayame. Intaro must not know we have located him, and the detectives must not know we have found Kurama. They are not ready to face this demon yet, not while he is high on his power enhancing drug. We have to wait until Intaro's power comes down to its natural level. Continue to report to me verbally, and be prepared to move the moment it becomes necessary. I am counting on you, Ayame. Timing is critical. If we blow this, it's all over."

"Yes, Lord Koenma." came the expressionless reply.

Kurama hung with his head bowed. Burns, bruises, and cuts adorned his entire body. He breathed heavily. For five days he had hung by his arms, victim to Intaro's favorite 'games'. The demon had demonstrated his familiarity with human anatomy by using the spires in many different arrangements. The first targeted the victim's breathing, but there were so many more ways to 'play'. Subsequent 'games' had pierced muscles, inflamed nerves, punctured sinuses, ensnared and tangled bowels, the list went on and on. That was the first day. The spires had been put away that night, and had not been seen again. From then on, Intaro used other 'toys'. He had burned the kitsune with hot pokers, drawn sprawling designs into his flesh with daggers, and struck him with carefully aimed blows that seemed to magnify as the force of the strike passed through tissue and organs.

On the third day Kurama had given up trying not to scream. By the fourth day he was hoarse. Each time the welcome darkness of unconsciousness tried to claim him, Kurama felt the gentle hands return to cup his jaw, and the fresh water and herbal extracts slide down his throat. He drank hungrily each time, for this was all he was given. And each time the herbs reclaimed him from the darkness, rendering him alert and ready to 'play' again.

His clothing was shredded. All that remained was a shabby hunk of material covering his groin, barely decent enough to pass as a loincloth. Through all the torture, Intaro had never touched him in a sexual way. The demon derived his pleasure solely from the torture.

The evening of the fifth day, even the herbal drink could not stir Kurama from his semiconscious state. Intaro regarded his toy carefully. "Well, my Little Foxy, I think you've seen better days," he whispered gently. Carefully, he wrapped an arm around the thin kitsune's waist and supported his light body. The other hand reached up and carefully undid the shackles on Kurama's wrists.

As his first arm dropped heavily to his side, Kurama moaned. When the second arm fell he cried out. He had hung so long, the sudden movement caused the tight muscles to pull and tear. Unable to remain upright, Kurama slouched forward, onto Intaro's shoulder.

"That's right, Little Foxy, rest now," Intaro murmured to the form he held as he carefully carried Kurama to the pallet. Gently, he laid down the weary fox, placing a small pillow under the red hair. When Kurama was settled, Intaro drew the blanket up over his prey. Circling the pallet, the demon climbed into the makeshift bed as well, gathering the already unconscious fox into a protective embrace. "Soon, my Little Foxy. Soon you will be mine forever," he whispered fondly as he allowed himself to sleep as well.

When Intaro awoke the next morning, he looked down at the fox sleeping peacefully in his arms. Visions of the time when his victim would reach out to him, and seal their intimate relationship danced through his twisted mind. With a soft sigh and a chuckle, Intaro gently roused the weary kitsune.

Kurama swam towards consciousness slowly. The warm, painless darkness beaconed him to stay. But something was nagging him to awaken. 'Warm,' he thought to himself. 'I'm warm. It's been so cold, but know I'm so warm. It must be Hiei; he keeps me warm.' A soft smile graced Kurama's lips. He opened his eyes slowly. Instead of the warm embrace of his lover that he had been dreaming about, the captive embrace of Intaro greeted him. In a panic that all trapped animals feel, Kurama began to try to push away from his torturer. His arms were so very weak from the damage to the torn muscles, they were practically useless, and so he used his legs to try to kick away from the demon.

"Little Foxy, stop it," Intaro soothed, trying to pull Kurama back into an embrace. Kurama only kicked harder at this. "Little Foxy, cut it ou,." Intaro said, a bit more forcefully. Kurama just continued to struggle.

Kurama's flailing foot caught Intaro right in the knee, and the demon flinched in pain. Wrapping his arms tightly the base of Kurama's back, he squeezed. "Now I said to knock it off!" Intaro bellowed, squeezing tighter with each word. A loud crack filled the air on the last word, and Kurama ceased his struggling. Intaro stopped squeezing and looked at the fox in his arms.

Kurama's eyes were closed. His face was drawn in pain and fear. His lips were slightly parted and gasping for air. His skin, which was flushed while he struggled, drained of all color to a pale, sickly white. Suddenly, the fox began to shake. Wetness gathered in his eyes, but he did not let it fall. When Intaro released him, Kurama sagged to the ground, unable to move himself. Intaro had snapped his back at its very base. Kurama could move his torso and arms, but his legs were unresponsive. He could still feel pain in them, though. Whether this was the pain from his injuries or phantom pain he did not know. The still present, burning pain of his lost tail tracked fire anew up his back again, and shot flaming tendrils down his immobile legs.

Intaro sat up and regarded his prey. "Well, I told you to stop. You should learn to listen better, Little Foxy," he said gently. Intaro let Kurama lay helplessly on the cold floor while he made the bed and straightened up a bit. He then pulled some of the larger rocks in the cave together. Carefully the demon collected the fox in his arms and arranged him among the rocks. The pain from sitting up on his tailless, broken back was excruciating, and Kurama cried out as Intaro arranged him. Ignoring the piteous sound completely, Intaro just continued setting up.

The rest of day six introduced Kurama to more pain than he had ever imagined. By nightfall the kitsune would have walked happily into the welcoming arms of death. He was lucky he had not eaten since his abduction, as his stomach heaved if he even remembered the pain he had felt. As the cave chilled and turned cold, Intaro climbed into the soft pallet alone. Kurama lay awake all night on the cold ground, propped against cold rocks, unable to move and unable to sleep. The one thing that gave him comfort was a gentle, repetitive dripping sound nearby. It counted the seconds until the night ended, until the torture began anew.

Day seven made day six seem pleasant. Intaro continued to feed Kurama the herbal water that prolonged his pain. But the dehydrated, exhausted kitsune eagerly lapped up every drop, knowing he would receive nothing else. His body was so desperate for the moisture that not a drop passed through as waste. Every breath was fiery agony, and every muscle spasm was hell itself. By nightfall, Kurama was barely able to breathe at all. Intaro collected him again, and gently placed him in the soft pallet. Immediately, Kurama closed his eyes. Although actual sleep evaded him, his body fell into unconsciousness from sheer pain and exhaustion. His mind was too numbed by his experiences to care.

"We have a lead!" Botan announced to the Yusuke and Kuwabara in the kitchen of Hiei and Kurama's house. "An imp saw a figure that resembled Intaro getting water from a well not far from Genkai's compound. There is a small hill with caves there. I think we should go check it out."

Yusuke looked up at Botan, hope and fear mixed on his face. "It's been what, eight days now? Do you think there's a chance that..." the teen couldn't bring himself to finish the sentence. He glanced into the living room.

Botan looked into the other room as well. Although they could not see him, both knew that Hiei was sitting on the floor, tucked away on the other side of the couch, near the fireplace. The hiyoukai had taken to staying in that spot when they were not out searching for the fox. This was not very often, as he had been consumed by his search for his missing lover.

Hiei had not been back into the bedroom he shared with the fox since the day they had discovered the abduction. He still clung to Kurama's lost tail as if it could bring the kitsune back. He was speaking less and less, and answering questions with grunts and glares. Each day brought less hope and more fear.

Kuwabara did not look into the living room. His thoughts wandered to the first day, when they had told Shiori of her son's situation. The woman had burst into tears and fallen to her knees. To the great surprise of everyone present, the one to kneel beside her and try to offer comfort was Hiei, although neither human nor fire demon could find solace while Kurama was still missing. Shiori had been over to the house every day since to try to help as she could. Mostly she prepared meals and cleaned the house and tried to fix what had been broken during the fight. Hiei had forbidden her to enter the master bedroom, however. The haunted, terrified look in his eyes was enough to convince her that there were things in there best left unseen. Consequently the room had remained untouched, except that Kuwabara had rigged the door to stay closed. The whole team had been staying at the house to be ready to mobilize at a moment's notice. That moment had come.

"Of course there's still a chance, Yusuke!" Botan chided after only a short hesitation. "This is Kurama. He's too strong to give in. Now let's go!" With that the team arose. Hiei got up and joined them without being summoned. He had heard every word, anyway. His greatest fear was that this was just another false lead, like the many they had already followed over the past week. Silently, the team began to hurry towards Genkai's forest.

On the morning of the eighth day, Intaro stood over his prey. "Is it time, Little Foxy?" he asked softly, as he gently slid a hand under the fox's face.

Kurama was somewhere. He didn't know where. He still felt the horrible pain, but it was somewhat muted. Even that small bit of relief was welcome. Once again he was warm. 'Mmm, blanket,' he thought. 'No, Hiei. Hiei keeps me warm,' a small part of his mind reflected, but warmth was warmth, and he's take a blanket if it meant heat. A hand gently cupped the cheek he was laying on. Such soft contact in his haze of agony was more than welcome, and without even thinking, Kurama smiled and nuzzled into the comfort that hand offered him.

Intaro smiled. It was time. His prey reached out to him; their relationship was sealed. Very gently he turned Kurama onto his back. Kurama awoke while he was being moved, but the strong, gentle hands did not frighten him. They were being so kind. After the past week of torture so violent his mind struggled to forget it, these hands were his friends. They would help him. Looking up, he saw Intaro smiling down at him.

Intaro looked at his beloved victim. The intimacy that had been stolen from him was about to be reclaimed. If he could not share this exquisite pain with the crow, then the fox would do. Seeing Kurama's blank expression, no fear, no hatred, nothing, warmed Intaro's heart. The fox was pale. He had been dripping blood for two days now, and the constant, repetitive dripping drained him. His legs were useless, and the muscles in his shoulders and arms were still torn from dangling so long on the wall. Bruises and burns littered his torn body. He could not even breathe without opening his mouth, and each breath was a gasp, each gasp threatened to be the last. With eyes filled with infinite lust, Intaro smoothed back his victim's dirty, red hair.

"It is time Kurama," Intaro began. Hearing his name from Intaro's lips seemed odd, out of place. Intaro had not once spoken Kurama's name in the time they had been in the cave. "I have had so much fun this past week with you, but now, we must finish what you came here to do, my Little Foxy," he continued, tracing Kurama's abdomen gently. "It will be quick. The spleen. Then you will be mine forever," Intaro crooned as he drew back his hand. Kurama continued to stare blankly at him. The words the demon spoke slithered around the kitsune's head, but words didn't make sense anymore. All the fox could think about was breathing. It was important to breathe, but his body seemed to disagree. Each breath was a battle between the mind and the body, and the body was slowly gaining control.

With one last, fond look at his fox, Intaro struck. His nails easily cleaved through the papery skin and weakened muscles of Kurama's abdomen. A soft grunt from the fox was the only reaction. Groping upwards towards the fox's stomach, Intaro found the organ he was searching for and squeezed. With a soft popping sound, blood began to run freely out of the wound around his hand. Smiling, Intaro removed his hand, and leaned front to gently kiss his dying victim on the forehead.

Kurama felt something moving inside him, but that pain was hazy, distant after all he had endured. The movement stopped, and he felt pressure. Then suddenly the pressure was gone. All the pain was fading. The pain, the coldness of the ground, even breathing seemed not to matter anymore. A gentle kiss on his forehead was the last thing he knew before the darkness began to creep in, obscuring his vision. Kurama's mind refused to focus on any of the sensations his failing body was feeling. Only a sound, possibly a voice, kept trying to break through the haze to his fading mind.