Yu Yu Hakusho Fan Fiction ❯ Dark Thoughts ❯ Chapter 4 ( Chapter 4 )

Again, blood red hair invades my sleep, this time twined with silver. They do not share a body in my dream, I can have them both, separately, I can share with both of them. Oh, decisions! Which do I take first? Which do I allow to take me? Or, do I pit them against each other for the honor of my affections? If I do that, however, I know who will win. There is such a vast difference between the two of them in youki. The silver one, Youko Kurama, is stronger, but the red one, the red one is more beautiful in my eyes. I have several dreams, ones in which I take the red one and then the silver one over the body of his fallen double. Ones in which I take the silver one while the red one watches on desperately, and then I take him. Ones in which I take the red one and the silver one takes me. Ones in which we all come together and share most intimately as one. When I wake, I feel an odd mixture of excitement and depression. Not so much odd as uncommon. It has been a long time since I have anticipated a fight like this. Even the thought of defeating the Toguro brothers doesn't stir my blood as much as the thought of fighting the famous kitsune, especially now.

 

He is here watching, this time without the Jaganshi. I am aware of the odd fluxes in youki at the edges of the island. The Jaganshi is taming the Koku Ryuu Ha at the edge of the island. His determination is admirable, but I know who I will fight. There is no more uncertainty in my mind, not after yesterday, not after the Youko appeared. There is no doubt in my mind that he will be strong enough, especially in that form.

 

Toguro Otouto is not fighting with us today, he has other business to take care of. It hardly matters since the team we are to fight is not really worth the time. I could defeat them all without help, but we are under orders to conceal our strength, to conserve it, until we fight the Urameshi team. This is fine by me. I could hardly care, so long as I can fight him. That is what matters to me, nothing else in this foolishness. If I can defeat him, if I survive our fight when my body so longs to join with him in that deepest of intimacies, then I will be strong enough to defeat the Toguros. I can reclaim my freedom. But, with him, I can have the death I long for, the intimacy that no other can share.

 

The first fight is mine. The fool, Midorenja, is not worth my time, but I will put on a show, since he is watching. The fool throws of youki wildly in a wasteful technique. He summons a ball of acid laced youki. He thinks this will have an effect on me? He throws it, so slowly. I close my eyes to prevent myself from rolling them as I side step easily. Curiously, I watch as it destroys part of the stadium, taking out many demons with it. What a waste. The fool is summoning another one. I walk towards him calmly and he makes noise about me being a fool. Me? A fool? He is too weak to sense his own impending danger. To show him how much stronger than him I am, I leap, my coat transforming to a cloak since it is made of my own youki. Yes, this is flashy, showy, but it has a purpose. It strikes fear into the hearts of those who see it. And, fear is an aphrodisiac. Gently, I allow my hand to touch his shoulder, pushing a small amount of ki into his body. His arm obligingly explodes. I dart past him, again calculated to increase his fear of me, and place ki in his other arm, which also explodes at my command. I return to where I had been standing. “Now then,” I ask the trembling fool, “what should I blow away next?” My eyes are calm, no emotion reaching them as I gaze on each part of his body as I name it, “Your legs? Your belly? Or perhaps your head?” His eyes are wide with terror and he is backing away from me, begging for mercy. Mercy? I do not know what that word means. He disgusts me. “You are a disgrace!” I tell him and then destroy his body. I am callous about it. Death is the closest thing to mercy I know and it was denied me.

 

I leave the ring, standing to the side as Bui fights. His match is also over quickly. Toguro Ani fights last, and fights the remaining three. They thing they have a chance against him. How could they if Bui and I didn't? And they are weaker than we ever were. He strikes, killing one instantly. The other two, he offers a choice. One to live, one to die. One is foolish enough to beg for life. He is killed quickly. The other thinks he has survived the match. Fool, again. Had he fought both brothers or Toguro Otouto, perhaps he would have lived. But, Toguro Ani is without honor. He takes great pleasure in violating honor. In this, I am almost grateful I fought them together and that Toguro Otouto keeps his brother from killing me without a fight. Almost grateful because it gives me a chance to fight with him.

 

The round is over. Toguro Ani leaves, going I care not where. Bui follows me as I seek out him. I want see him, to talk with him, to savor his flavor, to make him fear me. He is walking out of the stadium, his face fearful and determined. He stops when he sees us, he face showing anxiety. Calmly, I say, “You're the only one who came to watch, huh? You must be quite self-assured.”

 

He laughs, a strangled sound, “Not at all.”

 

I smile under my mask, “Don't be so nervous. We won't do anything. The four of you won't die for another two days.” Two days for you to stew in fear, making you that more delectable when we share our intimacy.

 

His eyes widen, “The four of us?”

 

Casually, “One will die today. You will know who soon enough.” Bui looses patience with our word games and strikes the wall. His eyes dart to the damage and I take the opportunity to go behind him, to indulge my curiosity. He looks around, trying to find me. I need to fight the silver one in the finals. This one is just not quick enough. I hope this encounter will encourage him to find a way to summon his other side. I wrap my fingers around his neck, feeling his pulse flutter and his muscle tense. I allow my fingers to run through his hair. I am disappointed. It does not feel like the blood it resembles. “Your hair is a bit distressed, huh? Do you give it treatments? You should take plenty of care of it. Humans get hurt so easily, after all…” My tone is sweet, my voice seductive. His anxiety radiates from him, a drug to my senses.

 

He splutters in rage, swinging wildly to strike me, “W-why, you!”

 

Easily, I land next to Bui. It took nothing to dodge him. “I was only joking. Don't let it get to you.” His eyes flare with rage, the green dancing. Gods, he is beautiful, with rage in his face. Is this the face that will share intimacy with me? “As cool as you are, you are also quite belligerent. Of the five of you,” I feel confessions are in order, “I do indeed like you best of all.” His eyes widen at this, and I continue, “When I kill something that I like, I get depressed, the same as when I think about why in the world I was even born,” though I think I know now. “But then, I find that to be an indescribable pleasure.” His face pales and a film of sweat covers his forehead. “I look forward to two days from now,” I say as Bui and I walk past him. I can feel the flare of ki as his anger and sheer determination to reclaim the Youko's form takes him over. He is so intoxicating.

 

The rest of the day, there are flares in the ki on the island, and one is snuffed out. I do not care. These do not affect me, I know what they are, anyway. My mind is focused on replaying the encounter with him, with Kurama, in the hallway. My mind replays our conversations and I can see him clearly in my mind's eye. His green eyes, so expressive. His blood colored hair, disappointingly feeling like hair rather than blood. The tears in his clothing. In my mind, I anticipate our fight, wondering which of his forms will face me, what plants he will use and how we will kill each other. Two days is too long to wait!

 

I dream again of red and sliver. Since this tournament began, I have dreamed more than I have before. Why does he affect me so? In this dream, the red and silver become one, neither red nor silver, but somehow more than either could be alone. I find myself wrapped in the arms of the Shimaneki Sou, unable to move, my ki trapped within my body. He gives me a choice, I can take my own intimacy or he will take it from me, but he will not share his with me. I laugh, delighted. I wake up smiling.

 

I find him, he is standing in a clearing. I can see by his expression that he is going over our encounter and finding no way to defeat me. His face is a mixture of desperation and fear. Delightful and intoxicating. There is a harsh cry and the Reiken wielder enters the clearing. They speak for a moment, and I see realization cross his face a long with sadness. The taller one only seems irritated. Interesting. A third one joins them. There are too many around. I am about to leave when I hear him ask, “The fruit of former life?” What is this? I pause to listen while the blonde clown answers.

 

“The fruit of former life is the fleshy part of the Tokitodare blossom, recently discovered in the Makai.” This would explain why he didn't know about it. The clown continues, “Uraurashima used it in mist form.” This is now very interesting. Does that mean….? “However, if you were to drink it in liquid form, you should be able to return to your Youko form for a long time.” Oh! Delight! I will be able to fight the Youko! The clown goes on to warn them that it is only experimental and he doesn't know what will happen, but I know him. He will use it. I will fight the Youko.

 

I watch him that night instead of sleeping. Several times, he swallows the liquid. Several times, Youko appears, remaining for about fifteen minutes each time. My smile remains in its place as I watch. Tomorrow cannot come soon enough.